Shy
by Littlehawkangel
Summary: My name is Shyane Red Elk Cruz. I am the grand-daughter of William Red Elk, great granddaughter of Joseph Red Elk, and great-great granddaughter of Bo Red Elk. I am the Red Elk tribute. Hopefully, the last in my family. I am of the Cheyene people and this is my story... So begins the journey of Shyane into the otherworld.


Shy

Shy

Littlehawk

Dedicated to Angie D. Norman, my dear friend and confidant for over thirty-five years. She has been my hero and inspiration. She taught me how to have fun, not get caught and if you did get caught, how to charm your way out of it. To never give in, never give up, never get old, never be boring and never say never. Her perseverance has made her life a historical event. She is what dreams and heroes are made of.

The

Pact

The sun was peeking over the horizon, giving the sky a grayish-purple look. It was a lovely shade of purple; deep, dark and somber. Billy Red Elk stood looking out over the land, trying to catch his breath. Climbing to the top of the mountain had been exhausting. He had started the night before in hopes of camping on top. As it was, he barely made it in time. Dawn. It had to be done at dawn.

Billy was tall, muscular and lean for his twenty years. He was also out of shape! He leaned forward with his hands on his knees trying to catch his breath. He had run the last couple of hundred yards. It had to be done at dawn in the cycle of the full moon. He didn't want to have to do this again in a month. He didn't have a month.

The surrounding area was still dark. The twilight was sweeping over the trees and rocks, making shadows move and come to life. Billy looked over his shoulder at the darkness behind him and sighed. Why was he afraid? This was a fairy tale. He was foolish. And he was in love. Billy wanted a life. He wasn't ready to give up on his dreams, or his love. He stood up and looked to the sky.

"I have a request!" Billy yelled. He stood waiting for a reply, other than his echoing words. "I request favor of the Immortals! I am William Red Elk! Son of Joseph Red Elk and Grandson of Bo Red Elk! I seek favor!"

Billy stood listening to the echoing as the sun came to him. He felt foolish again. Why was he doing this to himself? He had applied for the loan and was denied. He could work harder. Wait longer and marry Lilly later. If she would wait. He hoped she would wait. Billy sighed thinking of pretty Lilly Harris with her long black hair, deep brown eyes and soft tanned skin. Billy closed his eyes and pictured her in his mind. He would have to wait. Lilly would have to wait.

"Please?" Billy let the word slip through his lips. He'd let his pride slip. Lilly was worth begging for.

"What is your request?" the smooth voice asked.

Billy jumped and turned to see no one behind him. He spun around and watched the figure appear in the coming light. The man stood tall and looked elegant. He was dressed in finery that told Billy that this man had not climbed this mountain. Billy stood staring at the man.

"I am Peter," the man bowed slightly to Billy.

Peter had dark hair that was long and pulled back in a clubbed style. His features were strong and Native American with piercing black eyes. Was this man an Immortal or just someone who was playing a joke on him? Billy looked about and no, there was no way this man had climbed up here. He had simply appeared upon request. Billy's request.

"Peter?" Billy repeated the name. "Your name is Peter?"

"Among other names. I have many. I am your ancestor. What do you request of me?"

"I request favor. Help. I want to marry. Her name is Lilly, and I want a

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home for us. I have plans but..,"

Billy hated to tell anyone his problems, especially someone who was a being of magical proportions. A legend among his people. Well, not just the Cheyenne people but everyone. Peter did have many other names. He met people at different places; the crossroads, the end of the world and other forbidden locations. Billy wasn't the first to ask for favor.

"Problems?"

"I want to buy this land. I have a job and I've gone to the bank but I'm not established enough and..," Billy swallowed, "I applied for a loan from the bank..,"

"You've been denied?" Peter smiled. Billy was astounded at how white the man's teeth were. How perfect and how white.

"Yes. I need favor. Good fortune to make it work. A little help."

"A little?" Peter was now walking around Billy, slowly. Peter was taking Billy in and smiling at his predicament.

"Yes. A little help."

"What have you to offer?" Peter stopped before Billy, smiling. "In exchange for my help."

"A child," Billy spoke slowly. He felt his stomach turn at the very words he said. "My child."

"Your first male?"

"No!" Billy almost yelled. He took a deep breath to hold back his fear. "A daughter. My first daughter."

"Ah! Young and arrogant! Just as your father, grandfather and so on and so on." Peter chuckled a cold laugh that echoed on as the warmth of the sun hit them. "Must have that male child to carry on the family name."

"We will have many children. We will have many boys. But our first daughter is yours."

Billy felt his stomach clench, knowing what he was offering. He wasn't sure what Lilly would think, but he had time to tell her. Time for her to understand and agree with him. If they had everything then the loss of one child would be easily forgotten. They would have many more and in time, they would forget the one given to the Immortal for favor. At least, Billy hoped so.

"One child. One female child." Peter seemed to be thinking about the offer. "One pretty little Indian child." The Immortal laughed. "I think I like that." Peter threw his head back laughing. "I really like it!"

Billy saw the long canines. Was this Immortal a vampire? There were so many different kinds of Immortals. What kind was Billy dealing with? To what kind of Immortal was he offering up his child in tribute? Would the child be a slave? A companion? A familiar? A sex toy? A meal? Billy fought not to vomit. He still had time. Billy hadn't shook the Immortals hand. He hadn't sealed the deal. Billy hadn't made the pact. Not yet.

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"So?" Billy asked in a low whisper.

"From boisterous to begging!" Peter sighed, seeming disappointed in Billy.

Billy watched the Immortal step out into the bright sun and closed his eyes.

Peter didn't burst into flames, so he wasn't a vampire. At least, Billy didn't think so. Legends could be wrong. The Cheyenne people had many legends and were a superstitious people. Billy had never been superstitious, but he had always been wary. Now he was wary of Peter, his ancestor. The ancestor that might kill him and eat his heart for sport.

"Not hearts," Peter laughed. Billy jumped back from Peter. "Yes, I know what you're thinking. I'm Immortal and I didn't get this way without having some powers."

"So you know the future?" Billy asked.

"I know what the future can be." Peter walked back to Billy. "I will give you favor, but not how you want. Not for just a female. You want it all? Money? Power? Love? Luck? I want your first male child."

"No," Billy shook his head, "I won't do that." He sighed and looked at Peter. "I'm sorry for bringing you here. I can't."

"Arrogance!" Peter laughed. "I love it in man."

"I may be arrogant but I know what I want. I know I can do this. I can make this work with just a little help."

"A little help?" Peter sighed heavily and nodded, "The girl, and only for the land. The rest is up to you."

"Yes!" Billy smiled brightly. "I can do it!"

"Now, you must be sure of this. There is no going back on this contract. Be sure that you are willing to give this one child as tribute to me. If you try to break the contract, then you will suffer and so will your family. Not only will you lose anything and everything, but you may lose your life and the life of your lovely Lilly."

Billy gulped.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm very sure of it!" Billy's heart was racing with anticipation. "I can do this! I can!"

"Very well then."

Peter held his hand out to Billy. Billy stood looking at the hand. The long fingered, delicate looking hand of the Immortal. This was it. This was what he had wanted. Wasn't it? Billy took a deep breath and nodded as he took a step closer. Billy shook the hand and felt the sudden sharp pain. There was a sudden bright light and Billy stood alone. He looked at his hand and saw the long cut in the palm of his hand. Blood. The pact had been sealed in blood. Billy's blood. It would be Billy's blood that completed the pact. Billy had what he

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wanted. Or did he?

Three years passed before Billy and Lilly sat in the hospital with their daughter. Their first child. Their only child. Peter had faded from Billy's mind. The loan had been approved and the land was theirs. Billy worked hard to fix the home and run the farm. He and Lilly had married and now they had their first child. Their daughter. Their only child.

Billy listened to the doctor tell them both that this was the only child. A perfect pregnancy, but a difficult delivery. Lilly could have no more children. Billy breathed deeply and cursed the Immortal. It was actually the first time he had really thought of Peter in the three years. He told Lilly about his pact. Lilly sat holding the baby and staring at Billy. Lilly was only half Cheyenne. Her father had been Caucasian. Lilly had not been brought up to know about Immortals, supernatural or things that weren't of this world.

"You're kidding! You believe this?" Lilly asked in disbelief.

"I do." Billy held up his hand to show the scar on his palm. "I did this. I thought we would have so many children that one wouldn't matter."

"You work hard. I work hard. How can you think that some Indian legend gave us anything? How can you think that I wouldn't mind you giving my child away? Are you crazy?"

"No. Just stupid!" Billy ran a tired hand over his face. "Lilly, there is no way to break the pact."

"Pact? Billy! You shook the hand of nothing! There is no pact. There is no such thing!" Lilly was close to panic. "You were drunk! You imagined it!"

"I gave my word." Billy said. "Lilly, I would give my own life if I could. I can't. I promised him my first born daughter."

"But not a son!" Lilly hissed. "You had to be sure you had a son! You and that macho idiot attitude! How stupid! How arrogant! You will not give my child away. I didn't agree to this and you can't!"

"He can."

Lilly gasped. Peter stood at the foot of the bed. The door had not opened. He was just there. She hugged her child close. The baby began to fuss. Billy stood. What could he do? Could he deny the Immortal? Could he attack an Immortal? Peter smiled at Billy, as if asking the mortal to try. Billy looked at his wife, his daughter and then Peter. Fear swelled in Billy.

"What name have you given the child?" Peter asked.

"Susan," Billy said shakily. "Susannah Red Elk."

Peter curiously inspected his new ward. Susan lay in the her mother's arms. Billy stood waiting, fearful that the immortal would take his child. Peter smiled a leering, lustful smile at Susan, then Lilly, and he then turned to Billy. Peter knew, but wanted to hear it from Billy.

"She had problems," Billy rubbed his hands on his pants nervously, "Lilly.

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The birth. It was difficult. We won't be able to have more children. They say..," Lily blinked and Peter was closer, peering at Susan.

Lilly started crying. Billy sighed. He had just gotten her calm and now she was close to hysterics. She knew. Lilly finally understood this was not a joke. The Immortal was here for their child. Their one and only child. Billy suddenly understood Peter's warning on that morning.

The child. Billy was told by his elders to not even name the baby. That way, he and Lilly shouldn't get too attached before it was taken from them. The baby was not theirs to name or love. The elders were wrong about that. Billy and Lilly had loved Susan before they even saw her. Susannah, Lilly's mother's name.

"They say this is it for us," Billy was shaking. "Our only child."

Peter tilted his head and gazed at the beautiful baby. Peter's striking looks frightened Lilly. His face beheld the elegance of an older being and his dark eyes beheld darkness. Peter was at least four hundred years old, the elegance was well earned. His hair was as black as night, with not a grey hair or wrinkle on his face. There never would be. Lilly now understood what an Immortal was. Death and darkness.

"So I take it that tribute cannot be made?" Peter asked in a longing voice. "You wish to keep this child?"

"Yes," Lilly sobbed.

"We won't have another. We can't." Billy shuddered at the angry glare from Peter. "She is all we have."

"We had an agreement." Peter pointed out, tilting his head to the side as he examined the baby.

"I know..," Billy sighed, trying to think of what to say.

"So, I can take everything from you." Peter pointed out. "May I?" He stooped suddenly and snatched Susan from Lilly's arms.

"No!" Lilly screamed, arms flaying for her child. Billy rushed to hold her.

"Shhh! You'll upset her." Peter cooed to the infant in his arms.

"Take it!" Billy begged. "Take all of it! Just leave us the child! Please! We just want her!"

"How will you feed her without a home? Money? How will you care for her? She'll be doomed," Peter spoke softly. "She is a lovely child. Lovely!" Peter's eyes danced over the baby's face.

Billy saw something in Peter's eyes that frightened him. He wasn't able to put his finger on it, but he saw something there that was wrong. Peter wanted the child, and not for tribute. Peter wanted Susan for more than just tribute. Billy gulped back rage. He had made this deal and now had to live with it.

Immortals always knew what would happen. They knew how to live forever. They knew who to make deals with. Immortals always seemed to have a crystal ball that showed them the future. Billy wanted a peek at that crystal

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ball. If he could have had a look he never would have made the deal or thought of even talking to an Immortal. They were legends. Tales old women told and warned children about.

But Billy had thought about it. Billy had climbed to the top of the mountain and stood calling out to the Immortals. He had made the pact. He had asked Lilly to marry him and she wanted things. Things he couldn't give her. Things he wanted to give her. They were young. In his mind he had argued with himself, weighing a long, happy life with a big family for the price of one child.  
What was one child? One little bitty child. One perfectly beautiful child that Billy would now die to keep. Lilly sobbed into his chest, begging and pleading. She fought against Billy to reach out for her child.

"Please!" Lilly sobbed.

"Of course!" Peter handed the bundle back to Lilly.

"We can keep her?" Billy asked, confused.

"Yes," Peter smiled at them.

"Just like that?" Billy was truly confused.

"Yes, I'll be back for her daughter." Peter turned and walked away, simply disappearing into the air.

Books. Lilly began reading books. Billy didn't need books to tell him what he knew. He had grown up listening to the stories. He cared for Susan as Lilly locked herself away in the den researching the history of the Immortals that wandered the Earth among men. In retrospect, Billy had thought this is what he should have done first. But he was young, in love and stupid. No. Billy had been impatient and arrogant.

Now Billy was patient. He would spend the evenings with Lilly, poring over books, looking not only for details, but loopholes. Billy knew there were none. Lilly had hope. She held on to hope. Susan grew up surrounded by books about the supernatural and toddled through the stacks in the library as Lilly searched for a way to reverse the pact. Billy followed. Lilly would not give up on hope and as penance, Billy followed, hopelessly. This became their lives. Theirs and Susan's.

"There are so many different variations of this!" Lilly had mumbled one evening. She slammed the books down and held her head in her hands. Her eyes were hurting from all the reading.

"Meaning?" Billy had been sitting in his chair holding their sleeping daughter.

"Well..," Lilly flipped through several books, looking for something. She set the books down and frowned. "it's not just girls. Boys. The Immortals need males for their armies. The females are used for various things. No one is truly sure. And no one can be sure where they go."

"To the other world," Billy sighed.

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"But where is the other world?" Lilly growled.

"No mortal knows," Billy shrugged.

"Someone has to." Lilly opened another book. "They take girls to be fostered and raised as servants, slaves, companions, concubines and then something more. They become…"

"Familiars." Billy said.

"Yeah, like a cat to a witch. Trusted companions." Lilly frowned. "Or they are killed for their flesh and blood." Billy shuddered and hugged Susan closer to him. "This is insane. What have we gotten into?"

"Don't you mean, what have I gotten us into?" Guilt. Billy had a lot of guilt. Lilly shook her head.

"We are man and wife. She is our child. We're in this together." Billy nodded at his wife's declaration, but still felt guilt for what was to come.

"I just got to find out more about this!" Lilly mumbled as she reached for another book.

Time went on. There were no more children, but Susan grew up happy, spoiled and healthy. Lilly kept no secrets from Susan. Billy's heart ached, knowing that his beloved daughter would have to pay the price for his mistake. And ached more, knowing that she knew he was the one who had cursed her.

Susan, like Lilly, searched for a way out of the pact. Together they read, they researched, they hunted down the elders and listened to the endless tales of the Immortals. Susan and Lilly gathered enough information to write a book and did. The success of it was astounding. Lilly often asked Billy in private if this was part of his deal with Peter. Billy was unsure.

Susan went to college and studied the history of the American Indians, and with her mother's help, wrote more books on Immortals, supernaturals and everything else that was hidden from the eyes of humans. Susan was busy with school, writing books, researching and searching for a way to break the pact her father had made.

Billy had hope. As long as Susan was too busy for love, then there was hope that Peter would never return. His bloodline would end, but only he would suffer. Over time, Susan began to doubt there ever was a Peter or Immortals, but that her parents had simply imagined the evil Immortal in their grief over not being able to have a large family.

Susan began to doubt. And with doubt, came hope. With hope, came love. Susan met Charles Hollister and fell in love. Right after her graduation from college they were married. Billy hoped his daughter would leave the area. Maybe she was right. Maybe they had imagined the Immortal. No, Billy still had nightmares about Peter. He woke stifling screams and sweating. His dreams were of Peter and his long gleaming teeth. No. Peter was real.

The first child was a boy. Bradley Hollister. The family breathed easier. A boy. Charles didn't believe and Susan began to doubt even more. The next

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child was another son, Jerome. Happiness surrounded the family. Susan's work on a new book brought them back home. Charles built a house on the family land and their life went on. Billy waited for the happiness to end.

Charlotte was born and the fears rose. Susan had tried to forget, but knew. Lilly knew. Billy lived with the dread. They all sat in the room as Susan nursed her child. Billy stood by the window, praying and chanting. Charles decided that his father-in-law had lost his mind. Lilly prayed and watched the door, hugging herself.

"Why are we here?" Charles asked in an annoyed voice, "What are we waiting for? Rumpelstiltskin?"

"Something like that," Lilly replied coldly.

"This is crazy!" Charles looked at his wife's worried face. "Honey, no one is going to take her from us." He looked lovingly at his daughter. "This pact is null and void in my eyes."

"Is it now?" Peter was suddenly there next to Susan. Susan screamed in surprise. Charles jumped up and spun to face Peter.

"What the hell..?" Charles looked at the door that had not opened.

"No, not there," Peter smiled and gazed at Susan.

"Peter," Billy sighed, but didn't look at the Immortal.

"Hello Billy, Lilly, and my Susan." Peter leaned in to inspect the child. Charles had stepped up to intercept the stranger and simply froze with the swipe of Peter's hand. "And Charles, so pleased to meet someone so sure of themselves. Pity that you are wrong."

Billy and Lilly stood to the side as Susan began to cry. She hugged her daughter close. Peter hadn't changed at all. His gleaming smile had haunted their dreams, and now, he was here. For his child. His tribute to honor the pact. Susan sobbed uncontrollably as she held her daughter. Peter smiled at them.

"Her name?" the Immortal asked.

"Charlotte," Lilly spoke when Susan couldn't.

"Lovely!" Peter reached for the child, making Susan scream.

"She is mine. We had an agreement." Peter moved slowly forward to take the baby. Susan screamed.

"Wait!" Lilly pulled free of Billy and stepped in front of Peter. Peter's eyes narrow at her.

"You kept your child." Peter pointed out. "This girl is mine."

"Wait!" Lilly begged.

Peter stepped back and waited. Lilly looked at her daughter and then her husband. Susan's hands were shaking as they held the baby. Susan had been their only child. She was their life, and to see her in such pain broke their hearts. Billy felt guilt over his decision. Their life had been wonderful with their little girl, until now.

"Please!" Lilly begged.

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"Lilly…" Peter sighed dramatically as if he were very tired of the ordeal. "How long must I wait? You have all that you wanted, almost instantly. I held up my end of the deal. Can you not hold up your end?"

"She'll lose her mind," Billy spoke softly. He was defeated. He was guilt ridden. This was his fault.

"Pardon?" Peter turned his gaze to Billy.

"Susan will lose her mind if you take that child."

Peter gazed deeply into Susan's eyes.

Yes, there it was. The insanity and fear that had driven Lilly to devote her life to researching the Immortals and then there was something else. Peter looked to Billy. Billy only shrugged. He knew. Peter saw it and sighed. He looked back to Charlotte and Susan. Charles' eyes followed the Immortal and Peter leaned in for a closer look at Charlotte. He clucked his tongue to the roof of his mouth and sighed.

"Two." Peter stood and held up two fingers. "Three strikes and you're out." Peter smiled at them all and faded from the room.

Charles came to life and stood, looking confused and frightened. He hurried to hold the inconsolable Susan. The man was an outsider and had never believed, until now. He looked to Billy and Lilly for an explanation. He had heard about Peter. He had been told this day was coming and had wondered if his in-laws were losing their minds. They had been erratic and crazed since finding out Susan carried a girl. Susan had become depressed. Now Charles understood, and believed.

"What the hell just happened in here?" Charles asked, in a strained voice.

"Peter will come for Charlotte's daughter." Billy said hugging his wife. "He knows she will have a girl."

"How?" Charles asked, taking the baby from his wife.

"He's an Immortal," Lilly said.

"And if we don't give him the girl?" Charles stood ready to fight.

"You saw what happened," Billy sighed. "She will just disappear."

"What?" Charles hugged the baby close.

"He'll freeze time and simply take her." Lilly moved to hold Susan. "He'll take the next girl born to our family."

"We can call the police!" Charles said.

"And how will they find him?" Billy asked.

"Someone can!" Charles yelled. "Someone has to stop this!"

"Charles," Lilly's voice was soothing and calm, "how many children go missing in the world daily? Without a trace? How many young teens? One minute they're there and then they're gone. Never heard from again. This is what it is. Tributes being collected."

"Tributes?" Charles hissed. "Tributes to what?"

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"For us, it was the farm," Billy said. "A long time ago. I thought we would have many children and one little girl wouldn't be missed."

"Missed?" Charles looked ready to strike his father-in-law.

"Charles," Lilly interceded, "it was a mistake. A mistake made long ago that can't be changed."

"Now what do we do?" Charles asked.

"Wait for Charlotte to have a girl," Billy replied.

"Why would you do this to us?" Charles yelled.

Billy shrugged and turned to look out the window.

Why had he? For money? For land? For happiness? Billy and Lilly would have been happy as long as they had been together. He now understood that. But now was too late. Way too late. Billy often wondered how other people dealt with their decisions. The bargains made at the crossroads? The sacrificing of children? The need to succeed and excel tore apart lives and families so that the Immortals could be appeased. As long as Billy had Lilly he could face anything.

Billy thought that nothing worse could happen to them. He was wrong. His precious Lilly died within the year from cancer. She had been losing weight and acting erratic. Billy had suspected she was ill, but she had refused to take time from her research to see a doctor until it was too late. Lilly died, and Billy was lost. Billy often wondered if Lilly's illness had resulted because she had stood up to Peter. He became bitter and wandered about in a drunken stupor for the next few years.

Susan continued on with her mother's research. She had to find the ever elusive loophole to keep their grandchild safe. Charles had discovered that Immortals did exist. He knew that one day Peter would return. He just wanted to put off the knowledge as long as he could. It didn't work.

Charlotte grew into a lovely woman. Susan tried to shield her daughter from the truth. Charlotte left for college and Susan worked harder to find a way to stop Peter. Charlotte fell in love with young Joe Morgan. Susan searched harder. She had to find a way to save Charlotte. If only they had time. If only Charlotte didn't have children. If only Charlotte only had boys. Susan knew. She had seen it in Peter's attitude. Charlotte would have a daughter.

Susan traveled far and wide in search of answers. She traveled to lecture and to do research. Charles and she drifted apart. He was her husband, but he wanted no more children. Not with her. It hurt that he had gone to a doctor and had a vasectomy without consulting her. They shared a bed, but that was all. They were bound by their marriage vows and the family curse.

Joe Morgan asked Charlotte to marry him. She accepted. Susan and Charles stood in the church, praying as the young couple exchanged vows. Charles had taken Joe aside and told him of the family curse. Joe had thought the man was trying to stop the marriage. Billy had tried to talk to Joe, but only

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come across as a crazy drunk. So the couple married. Susan became desperate. Charles knew his wife was beyond desperate. He often wondered about her search, but never asked.

Two years later, Charlotte had her first child. A girl. Like Charles, Joe was not a believer. He thought it was a family joke until they sat in the hospital and the strange man appeared. Joe stood ready to fight. Charles shook his head. It wouldn't do any good.

Now it was Susan who stepped between Peter and her daughter as her own mother had years before. Peter smiled at Susan. Susan was shaking as her hand went to her abdomen. It was then Charles saw the slight bulge. How had he missed this? Susan kept her secret well.

"Let my daughter keep her child, and I'll give you this one. Please?"

"Susan!" Charles stepped forward.

"We won't get attached. We won't beg to keep her. I promise. Our children are grown now. We won't be able to raise another. We'll be old before she can graduate school. Take this child, I beg you!" Susan stood waiting with tears in her eyes. "This one is for you!"

Peter stepped back and looked from Charles to Susan and then at Billy. Billy was now old and a shell of the man he had once been. He sat by the window, chanting. Peter stepped forward and set his cold hand on the swollen abdomen. He felt the kick of the child and fixed his eyes on Susan's.

"It's a girl. Two more months is all I ask of you," Susan begged.

"Your husband?" Peter looked at the still frozen Charles.

"He'll agree. It doesn't matter anyway. This is my child. My decision. I give her to you."

Susan was shaking. Billy could say nothing. He couldn't object. He had made the pact and now his family was suffering because of it. This was something that Susan had decided and would follow through with. For Charlotte. Joe and Charles both stood frozen in fear and confusion.

"This is the last," Peter spoke calmly. "I will return for her."

Peter faded from their view. Susan sat with Charlotte. This child was the end. The one to save them all. The boys had chosen their lives. Jerome was a priest and Bradley had two sons. One day, those children would have children. One day, another girl would be born. One day. Susan had to end it now.

Susan knew that Bradley's wife knew and believed. She also knew that the first child had been a girl. A little girl whose life was terminated by her mother for fear of the child going to an Immortal. There was no way that Susan would let that happen again. No more children would die if she could help it.

It ended with Millicent. Charlotte's child was safe. Millie would never have to live with the fear of having a female child. Not if Susan had a say in it. Just one little, bitty child. Susan's hand went to her abdomen. She could do this. She had to.

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"You can't do this!" Charles hissed at her as soon as they stepped into their home. "This is insane!"

"It's not your decision." Susan replied coldly. "It's not your child."

"I know that!" Charles growled. "Who's is it?"

"It doesn't matter." Susan said. "I'll have her here. At home. No record. No worries. No more Peter!"

"This is wrong!" Charles cursed. "How could you do this?"

"I have to. For Millie and Charlotte. It will be done and over with. You don't have to worry."

"Do you love him?" Charles asked disheartened.

"Who?"

"The father of..," Charles nodded to her stomach, "that!"

"I didn't even know his name before that one night." Susan sat down.

"What does that mean?"

"I didn't have an affair," she mumbled. "I had a one night stand intent on getting pregnant. I knew it would be a girl."

"How?"

"Charms, spells and several fortunetellers." She ran a tired hand over her face. "I made sure."

"Who?"  
"I'm not lying to you Charles. I met a man in a bar and went to my hotel room. I never asked his name. I climbed into bed, let him fuck me and left before the night ended. It was simple."

"Simple." Charles stood, glared at his wife and left the room.

She was born late in the night. The night of the new moon. Susan didn't want to name her. Charles was too distressed to care. Billy named her Shyane, for his people. He wanted the child to know where she had come from. At least she would have this piece of her ancestry.

They sat in the room waiting. Susan refused to hold the baby. Charles sat next to the bassinet where the child had been lain. He wouldn't touch her either. Joe and Charlotte were there too. Billy was the only one to hold the baby. He scooped up the baby and began to sing to her. She was a child born not of love, but of duty. She was the end. The tribute.

Peter was suddenly there. It was Billy who held the baby. Peter stepped close and Billy, defeated, let him look at the little face. She was a small baby. Tiny in fact. Healthy and beautiful. Peter smiled at her as he took her from Billy's arms. No one in the room moved to oppose the Immortal.

"Her name?" Peter asked as he rocked the child.

"Shyane." Billy spoke evenly. "S-H-Y-A-N-E. For her people." Peter smiled at the spelling. Something unique for the little girl. "Shy."

"Shy," Peter sang, looking at the little face. This child was prettier than

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the other two before her. She was special. Peter set his hand on her head and seemed to be searching her mind for something. Her new, innocent mind. He opened his eyes and smiled at Billy in delight.

"Is it done? The pact is fulfilled?" Susan asked, staring out the window and away from the immortal and her child.

"Almost." Peter walked over to lay the child in her arms. Susan was shocked. "I will be back for her in thirteen years."

"What?" Susan looked as if she might drop the baby.

"I gave you more than requested. I was kind." Peter smiled at Billy. "You thought you could simply give me a child no one cared for? I think not. You will raise her for me." Peter smiled at them. "Thirteen years. I think you should pay for your good fortune by caring for her. She is very special. She will need lots of care. I will return. Take very good care of my child and earn favor with me."

"What?" Susan looked to Charles.

"Promise me you will take good care of her and I will smile upon you." Peter was overly delighted with his words. "Give favor upon you and your family. Your growing family."

"Why?" Susan choked. How could he do this to them? When she turned back to Peter he was gone. "Why?" She asks her father and her husband.

"Our penance for thinking we had outsmarted him." Billy reached for the baby. Charles beat him to it and hugged the baby to his chest. "

"Penance?" Charles asked, smiling with tears in his eyes. Susan wasn't sure why. "No, not penance. A gift." Charles kissed Shy's little head. "A blessing!"

13

The

Promise

It's always cold in the mornings. Especially before the sun rises. Especially on the mountain. I climb from my sleeping bag and grab my favorite purple blanket to wrap around me. I love this blanket. It's the same color as the sky in the coming dawn. Millie grumbles at me as I shake her. She slaps my hand away. I hurry out of the tent and to the rocks where my grandfather stands praying to the Immortals. I sit down and yawn.

Billy Red Elk, my grandfather, is giving thanks to the Immortals or the gods or something. He's standing at the edge of the cliff with his arms extended, chanting in his wonderful baritone voice. I sit back and wait. I don't want to interrupt him. I shiver and hug myself as I wait. Grandpa's chanting becomes intense. I know it has to do with me, and in a way, it bothers me that he's so stressed.

We always do this on my birthday. I'm thirteen today. My name is Shyane. My family and friends call me Shy. My niece, Millie, is two months older than me, but taller, rounder and prettier. She looks her age. A young teen. Me, I still look like a child. I'm slow at developing physically. My mother has taken me to several doctors who all proclaim me healthy, just slow in developing. Something Millie likes to rub in my face as she throws out her chest to me. Her perky breasts jab out. She's going to end up putting my eye out one of these days.

Millie has always come on this trek with us, but this year, she's mad at me. This year she's been mad at me a lot. I look back at the tent as see her stumbling out, dragging a blanket behind her. She glares at me and Grandpa.

Millie has short black hair that's spiked and dyed a deep blue on the ends. She's wearing dark clothes and her mascara and eyeliner are more smeared than usual. She was crying the night before. I tried to comfort her but she pushed me away. It's not my fault. Not really. Grandpa and her parents made her come along and miss the dance. I can't help any of that.

Phil is the cutest boy in the ninth grade and he asked me to the dance. I told him that I couldn't because it was my birthday and I had plans with my family. He asked Millie next, and she accepted. She was excited until her parents told her she was making the trek with Grandpa and me. That had her screaming with rage and got her a busted ass from her father.

"Why?" Millie screamed.

"Because if not for Shy, you would not be with us!" Charlotte yelled at her.

"Don't yell." I begged Charlotte.

"Just because she's a sacrifice doesn't mean I have to suffer!" Millie wailed. Joe moved to confront her and I jumped in the way. He frowned down at me, but didn't move to strike Millie.

"She doesn't have to go," I pleaded for her.

"See!" Millie screeched. "Shy doesn't need me there!"

14

"She does!" Charlotte snapped. I winced. "You go every year!"

"I want to go to the dance with Phil!" Millie moaned. "He asked me!" I didn't say anything. Millie knows that he asked me first, she just likes to ignore that fact. Millie has a bad habit of making things appear the way she wants.

"After Shy turned him down!" Charlotte snapped and I rolled my eyes. "His mother called me to see if Shy was really busy and why she was pulled from school."

I simply sat down and pouted. We've always known that this would come to pass. It had to. I was the tribute. Thirteen. I am thirteen today. My mother and father had me at home and then drove to the hospital. I was now a recorded human being. I was their daughter. I was in school, and now I had been pulled from school and everyone was told I was going to live with relatives overseas to study dance.

I'm a gifted dancer. That's what everyone says anyway. I've been dancing since I was two. Me and Millie. I excelled and she was flustered. By age ten, she refused to dance any more. I took up the piano with her and excelled at that. It was just easy for me and something else for Millie to be mad at me about. She's always mad at me. I try to ignore it. But I understand it.

I am the tribute. The family curse. I was given at birth to an Immortal for a blood pact my grandfather made a long time ago when he was young. Millie was to be his, but I was chosen to take her place. I hadn't even been born yet, but I was chosen so that Millie could stay with her family. My family.

Millie's very jealous of me. I have the best of everything. I have a benefactor. The Immortal, Peter. He takes very good care of me. He has since I was a child. Gifts began appearing days after my birth. I have heard my mother and father talking about it. Arguing is a better word.

My mother never intended on keeping me. She hadn't wanted to lay her eyes on me. In fact, she didn't name me. My grandfather did. My mother refused to hold me or let me suckle. My father took care of me the first few months of my life. I'm closer to him than to my mother. I've always been his little princess. From what my grandfather has told me, I know that I owe her a lot for giving me a normal life.

My mother was horrified to find gifts in my crib. The Immortal had been in my room. She was angry that he would invade our home. He would one day take me, but until then I was her child. Against my father's pleas, my mother had climbed to the top of the mountain with my grandfather to confronted Peter, the Immortal I belong to.

"I call upon the Immortal. I call for favor!" My mother screamed to heavens as the sun rose in the purple sky. "I am Susan Red Elk Hollister. I am the daughter of William Red Elk! Granddaughter of Joseph Red Elk and great granddaughter of Bo Red Elk! I was the original tribute! I seek favor!"

15

"Hello, Susan."

My mother turned with Billy to find Peter stepping out of the shadows. He smiled a welcome to her. My mother stood in a truly magical place with Peter, a magical being. A magical being that had laid claim to her child. Me.

"I need you to stop coming into my home without invitation," my mother ordered.

Peter smiled again and one eyebrow rose. He found my mother entertaining with her boldness. She was terrified and yet, still she stood, defying him. Her bravery was impressive. My grandfather said he had never been prouder of her.

"I bring gifts for my ward. For my child." Peter had said as he walked around my mother. "Does it really bother you that I want her to have all the advantages?"

"It bothers me that you invade my home." My mother said.

"She is my child," Peter coldly replied.

"I have trouble accepting her." My mother swallowed hard. It was hard to tell the truth about how she felt about me. Her daughter. The family tribute. My mother took a deep breath, squared her shoulders and decided that I was her child, if only for a short time. "Peter."

The Immortal smiled as his name was spoken. My mother was now familiar with him.

"Yes, Susan?"

"I'm uncomfortable with you entering my home at your leisure. I have a hard time being a parent to her. Loving and caring for her with the idea that you're creeping about in every shadow is difficult. I need you to leave us alone. My family. I need you to leave my family and my daughter alone."

"Your daughter?" Peter asked.

"My daughter, until you take her from me." My mother faced Peter. "She is mine! Part of me!"

"Will you care for her or let someone else bear the burden of your decision?" Peter looked to Billy. "The burden of his pact?"

"I will care for her. My husband and I. Our family." My mother had made up her mind. "Until you take her, she is ours."

Peter walked about slowly, thinking over what was being said. He looked at my mother, who stood waiting. She was a brave woman. The one he was supposed to have had. Susan, the one Peter had let stay because he had fallen in love with her at first sight. He hadn't felt that with Charlotte. But he did feel there was something special about me.

"I want to contribute to her education and life," Peter spoke softly. "Please let me give her gifts? I beg you."

Peter had begged my mother.

"I don't want you to come into my home uninvited," my mother said firmly.

16

"I will not enter your house uninvited. I will leave all gifts on the front porch. Is that acceptable?" Peter stood waiting for my mother to answer. "Please, don't cut me off from her. Not now. I've seen her. I know what she is to become. I can help guide her. Groom her!"

"To be your whore?"

"Whore? Never! To be my beloved!" Peter's eyes were sincere.

"Fine," my mother had agreed. "The porch. No further. Promise me? Give me a chance to be the mother I should have been!"

"I will," Peter nodded slightly and then simply vanished. "If you promise to care for my child with love and tenderness."

"I will."

My mother let the sun wash over her. She stood with tears sliding down her cheeks. He wasn't a vampire. There was hope for me. There was hope for my mother. My grandmother, Lilly, would have been proud of her. At least my grandfather said she would have been.

When Mommy told my father what she had done, he was angry with her for taking such a chance. But he understood. He was more than a little attached me by then. My mother kissed him and went to the nursery to hold me for the first time. It was then that she made the promise.

"One day, I will free you from this debt that we have leveled on you," Mommy had kissed my head, "This I promise you, my lovely daughter." It was really the first memory I have of my mother.

I knew from a young age who and what I was. I read all the books about my predicament, even the ones written by my mother and grandmother. I learned all I could about what would happen to me. Well, what was speculated to happen to me. No one really knows what happens to tributes. There are all kinds of stories, but no one knows. All that is known is that tributes go missing and never return.

I had until I was thirteen to be with my family. I knew that was all the time I had and I would not waste it. I spent it with my family and on learning. It was the one thing my father thought would save me. Peter sent expensive gifts. My father and grandfather felt that he was grooming me to be a familiar or companion. I knew they were afraid I would be a concubine, but any of that was better than being dinner. I tried not to think about it.

I read the books and knew that there were several theories on what would happen to me. Peter could choose me as his familiar, which is a trusted mortal, much like an adopted family member. Or I could be a companion, also trusted, but not considered part of the family. Then there was the concubine that was nothing more than a sex toy. I could be a servant or even a slave. If not any of those, then I would be dinner. I shudder when I think of that. My blood drained and drunk. My flesh stripped from my bones and eaten. Some speculated that both of these were to be done while I was still alive.

17

I avoid thinking of any of this. I live my life as I always have, taking one day at a time. I have done the research and know that my future is bleak at best. My one hope is that I would be killed. It sounds horrid, but given the choices, especially after reading a book on sex in the library, I feel this is the best option for me. I force these thoughts to the back of my mind as I yawn. My grandfather finishes his prayers. Millie sits next to me cursing beneath her breath. She's mad. At me.

"I hate this!" Millie hisses. I nudge her to keep her quiet. I really don't want Grandpa to yell at her this early in the morning. Millie groans and wraps her blanket around her.

Compared to me, Millie's a giant. She favors her father's side of the family with her pale skin, her tall stature and heavy step. She's an athlete: soccer, softball, volleyball and track. I'm like my mother and grandmother with my petite form.

This is why Millie is always mad at me. We started dance classes as toddlers with the cute little tutus and chubby legs. We both enjoyed the classes, but I excelled in ballet. I had grace, talent and it came to me easily. Millie had to work hard, but she never gave up trying to keep up with me. It was only after breaking her ankle in soccer that she give up dancing. Pointe shoes were impossibly painful for her to wear.

We had grown up as sisters. Best friends. But over the past few years there had been a growing resentment between us. Millie had developed into a lovely young, supple girl. I was slower in developing, but I was told I was very pretty. At school Millie was popular and happy. At home, she had grown up in my shadow. I was spoiled by my grown siblings, parents and grandfather. At first, it had just been a way of life, but now it was annoying to Millie.

The family was grateful to me. For my very existence. My parents catered to me, my older brothers babied me and my sister, Charlotte, did everything for me as she has done for Millie. Every event Millie attends with her mother, I have been a part of. The family adored me when I was little. I was the tribute that would remove the curse from the family. Millie doesn't understand that. Charlotte had finally explained it to Millie that I would one day have to leave them so that Millie could stay.

Millie had felt bad, at first. At least, I thought she had. I don't think she believed that I had been conceived for the sole purpose of taking her place or that I would be given to the Immortal so that she could stay with our family. The family had never expected to see me after the night I was born. The Immortal had given me back to my family. It had been penance for Susan and Charlotte not going when it had been their time. Millie had been grateful at first, but then as time went on there was resentment for the special attention I received from everyone. Especially from my benefactor, Peter.

The first gifts arrived before I was a week old. There was no room set up

18

for me in the house. There was no need. The family had not planned on my staying. When mom and dad brought me home from the hospital there was the beautiful crib sitting in the middle of the room and a stack of wrapped gifts. Mom had been livid that Peter had been in the house. Grandpa and Daddy had seen it as a blessing. My mother had walked from the room and to her study. She shut the door on her baby and her heart until she had face Peter over me.

I became Daddy and Grandpa's little girl. My grandpa quit drinking. The boys were grown, but came to help. Jerome was a priest. He came to play with me often and even baptized me. Bradley brought his wife and sons to help. Each day there was a new gift in the room that needed to be put together. The family all pitched in to make me comfortable.

Weeks passed and Mommy kept her distance from me. I don't think I ever really bonded with her. She saw me as the child she had conceived and doomed. She did research. She wrote more books. She taught classes. She was there for everyone but me. Late in the night, Mommy would steal into the nursery and watch me sleep.

I was nothing like Charlotte was as a baby. I was the good baby who slept through the night and hardly cried. I was the tiny baby. Mommy would sit and watch me sleep, safely in my crib. I remember seeing her as if she were a dream. I remember seeing her, but not her holding me. I was only a few months old when I became ill. Colic. The men in my family took turns walking the floor with me, trying to find me relief. For days I cried in agony. It hurt for me to breathe or move. Mommy watched from across the hall. Behind the study door she tried to drown out my cries. It was only after Mommy had confronted Peter that she held me in her arms. They say I quieted, instantly.

"Is he done yet?" Millie hisses.

"Shhh!" I whisper, listening intently to grandfather chanting.

"This is so primitive!" Millie moans. "And I'm freezing!"

"It's not that cold!" But I move closer to Millie.

"I hate this!" Millie is being unreasonable.

"There'll be other dances," I sigh.

"But Phil asked me!" Millie whines.

"At least you got asked," I whisper. We're getting along now, so I don't point out to her that he asked me first. I won't rub it in. She would, but this is my last day with my family so I'm letting a lot of things slide.

"Yeah," Millie began to squirm, but she keeps quiet.

I knew that Millie had told everyone that I wouldn't be able to go to the dance because I was leaving. No one was supposed to know. My parents were just going to tell everyone that I had gone to stay with relations overseas to study dance. Millie was too excited about my leaving and blabbed to everyone. It upset my father and grandfather enough that Charlotte and Joe got a call

19

from them. Millie got a spanking and lost her cell phone and computer. Something else she blamed on me.

Since then, she had been angry at me. It had been a crappy two weeks with her being this way, but slowly she was coming around. Then yesterday, on my last day of school, I got flowers from Phil. Carnations. Three little flowers. Just enough to send my niece seething. He asked me to the dance and I had to decline. He asked Millie and from there, it went crazy. Up here with just the three of us, I know she'll talk because Grandpa threatened to beat her black and blue if she didn't stop acting so spoiled.

Grandpa finishes his prayer and walks back to us, smiling. I rush to hug him. Millie grumbles under her breath. Grandpa holds out his hand to her and she grudgingly drags herself to him. He kisses both of our heads. He has to bend to kiss the top of mine because I'm so short.

"Let's eat and start back down." He herds us toward our campsite.

"I gotta pee," Millie jerks away and stomps into the woods. I shrug at Grandpa and follow her.

"Watch out for bears and mountain lions!" Grandpa calls after us. I shudder because I know he's only half teasing.

"Great!" Millie grumbles as she trudges deeper into the woods.

"I'll wait here." I sit down on a rock to wait.

The sun was rising in the sky. I welcome the heat as I snuggle deeper in the purple blanket. I yawn and wish to be back in bed. My bed. I shake my head, knowing that I won't be using my bed anymore. I shake my head again, this time to clear it. When I look up I see him. A man has simply appeared before me.

I should be frightened. I should call out to Grandpa or warn Millie, but he seems very calm. Not at all menacing. And I'm curious. He also looks too well dressed to have been hiking, and that's the only way anyone could reach this summit. I watch him tilt his head to the side and smile at me warmly. I breathe deeply and stand.

"Hello!" The man moves closer, slowly. "I won't hurt you. I just want to talk." I nod. "You come up here often?"

"Every year for my birthday. I come with my grandfather and Millie."

"Millie?" the man looks around, smiling at me. "Is this Millie invisible?" I hope he's joking.

"No," I laugh, "she's my best friend and she's… occupied."

"Ah!" The man smiles a brilliantly white smile. "And Grandpa?"

"He's over there," I point to the campsite, "cooking breakfast."

"So it's your birthday?" the man asks, casting a look over at Grandpa by the campsite, whistling as he cooks our breakfast.

"Yes. I'm thirteen." I smile. I'm actually proud that the curse is finally coming to an end for my family.

20

"Thirteen? Are you happy?" the man asks.

"Yes!" I smile quickly. "I get to spend my birthday with my family and my mom is making me a cake."

"That sounds wonderful!" The man nods.

"It is. I have the most wonderful family."

"Do you?"

"Yes."

"I like the blanket." He nods to it.

"My sister Charlotte made it for me. Purple's my favorite color." I snuggle in it.

"It's a lovely color. Especially on you."

"Thank you."

"So it's your birthday today?"

"Yes."

"Let me ask you a question?"

"Okay,"

"If you could have a wish what would it be?" The man asks.

"Excuse me?" I'm taken by surprise by the question.

"Oh, let's say that I'm a woodland fairy and I'm going to grant you a birthday wish! What would it be? More than anything, what do you want?"

"More time with my family."

"You didn't even have to think about that!" The man laughs. "Not money?" I shake my head, "Not a new gadget?" I shake my head again, "Not a new dress? Or maybe shoes?" I sigh deeply and shake my head.

"Just my family," I replied.

"I couldn't give you anything you'd want more than time with your family?" the woodland fairy offers with his gleaming smile.

"Nope!" I turn to the woods. Millie is coming back to me.

"Well, Happy Birthday!" the man says to me.

"Thank you." I turn back to find the man gone.

"For what?" Millie asks as she steps out of the brush.

"I was talking to ..." I look about. There was no place he could have gone, but over the edge. "I guess no one." I wonder if I had imagined the man. Maybe he was really a woodland fairy.

"Breakfast!" Grandpa calls and Millie stumbles up to me.

"Thank God! I'm starved! Plus, once we eat, we can get off this damn mountain." She groans and hurries to the camp.

I walk along and spin slowly in the warm sunlight. The area is open and flat. A perfect stage for me. The wind picks up and makes my hair fly about. Millie has long straight hair. Mine falls in large curls about my face. No one in my family has curls, except me. I dance about, feeling as if my heart is breaking. This is the last time I'll be here to welcome the sun. The wind makes

21

a soft rustling in the trees. I dance about as Millie and Grandpa watch. Grandpa smiles. Millie rolls her eyes and snatches a piece of bacon out of the skillet.

I know the look on Millie's face. Grandpa says when I dance it makes his heart sing. He doesn't say that about Millie when she dances. She couldn't just dance. It had to be choreographed. I dance what I feel. I can just dance or burst into song at the drop of a hat. Millie hates that about me. Millie has a lot to hate me for. At least, she thinks she does.

I try not to rub anything in. I try to stay out of the spotlight as much as possible. Millie always sticks her nose in my business and then groans about my life. Every new gift I get from my benefactor is examined and borrowed by her. It's true that I have the best of everything. My benefactor has always provided me with the newest clothes, toys, gadgets and the very best private instructors for dance and music.

Even though I try and stay out of the spotlight, it seems to follow me. I have a lot of friends at school and everyone seems to know me. I was voted most likely to blossom into a true beauty in the eighth grade. I got a plastic flower and everything. Phil presented it to me since he was voted most likely to become a stud. That was just a year ago, and since then Millie has been angry with me. I know it's because Millie has liked Phil forever. Well, for almost ten months, anyway.

The fact that she couldn't go to the dance with him because of me only added more hot coals to the fire of hate she has burning in her belly for me. But then I also know that Phil had asked that if he took her, would I be at the house so that he could say goodbye to me? Millie's best friend Janet had told me that. Janet has no problem rubbing anything and everything into Millie's face. I often wonder why Millie puts up with the snotty girl.

Janet also said that Millie had told him maybe, and then he asked her. In the end, he had taken Maddie Edwards. Millie hates Maddie more than she hates me so I was sort of off the hook. I hate when Millie is mad at me because I can't dance or sing. It feels as if there is this heavy weight on my heart holding me back. Now I feel free. Or I should say, I'm enjoying the last of my freedom.

Grandpa stands holding a plate with my breakfast. He's mesmerized by me and smiling. I love making him smile. He's been very sad lately. I know it's because he blames himself that I'm the tribute. I don't blame him. If I wasn't chosen to be the tribute then I never would have been born. I dance over and take the plate of food from him.

"Well?" I ask.

"That was wonderful." Grandpa kisses the top of my head.

"Yeah, always wonderful!" Millie grumbles.

"Come eat before it gets cold," Grandpa offers. Millie nods, frowns and

22

takes her plate of food. We sit to eat before we have to hike back down the mountain and home. I have today and I don't want to waste a minute of it. I know Millie is anxious too. Anxious for me to be out of her life.

"Daddy?" I run to the open barn doors, knowing he's there. He pokes his head out from under the tractor and smiles. "I'm back!" Daddy grins at me.

"Come help me?" I fall to my knees and crawl under the tractor with him. Daddy pulls me to him and kisses the top of her head. "How was the camp out?"

"Okay." I peer up into the engine. "What's wrong?"

"Just cleaning sparkplugs and changing oil." Charles hands me a wrench. I always hold his tools. "Are you okay?" He knows when something is bothering me. Daddy always knows.

"You know," I shrug.

"Millie still being a butt?"

"Yep!"

"I can talk to her," Daddy offers.

"You talk with your hand on her butt!" I frown.

"Might be what she needs," he mumbles.

"Daddy!"

He frowns at the engine.

"Why do you always take up for Millie?" Daddy asks.

"Someone has to," I reply.

The truth is that I feel responsible for Millie's happiness. Or lack of it. Millie is just one of those people who would never be happy. She will always feel as if nothing goes her way and that she has to blame someone. If I weren't here, I'm almost sure that she could overcome the feelings of unhappiness. She'd find out soon enough.

"She's spoiled." Daddy mumbles. He looks very sad. I hate to see him this way. But then, he has looked this way for the past few weeks. Everyone has.

"After this can we play some catch?" I ask, hoping to take his mind off what will happen at the end of the day.

"Sure." We've played catch every evening before dinner since I was four. He has bought me every glove I've had. This is the one thing that Peter is not allowed to invade. It's me and Daddy. A little catch and talk of the one love we share. Baseball. "Right after I finish this."

His voice is choked. I know he's been crying again and that hurts because my Daddy never cries. He's always happy and loving. He tries to make Mommy smile when she's angry about what's going to happen to me. Like Grandpa, Mommy has a lot of guilt about me. I hate living with all the guilt that is heavy on my family because of me. I just want to enjoy the day.

23

"Daddy?"

"Yeah?" Daddy grunts as he fights with the wrench.

"I love you."

"I love you too." He sighs and I wait.

My glove is in the house. I was told to pack it in the one suitcase I'm allowed to take. The huge piece of luggage appeared on the porch a couple of days ago with instructions on what I would be allowed to bring. In it was a large backpack. My carry on, if you will. I had packed and left my glove on the foot of my bed. I run in the backdoor to grab it and hear the arguing. I sit down on my bed and listen. My heart is heavy again.

"When?" Millie asks in her high pitched whiney voice.

"I'm not sure. Today." Charlotte sobs. "You act like you can't wait for it to happen." Charlotte huffs.

"Soon?" Millie pushes the issue.

"Millicent!" Charlotte snaps.

"Thirteen! He said thirteen! I figured he would have come to the mountain  
and taken her away!" Millie says.

"Millicent! Stop it!" Charlotte now sounds mad. I hate that they're angry and taking it out on Millie.

"I just want it over with!" Millie cries out.

"What over with?" It's Joe's voice and I know that Millie is in for it now. Even I jump at the harshness in his voice.

"What do you think?" Charlotte growls at him.

"Millie," Joe sounds not only disappointed, but angry. "How can you be so heartless?"

"I'm not! You are! All of you!" Millie sobs. "When will I get a life of my own? Shy has always gotten everything! Everything! I get her leftovers! Her hand me downs! I just want her gone so that I can have my own life!"

"Millicent!" Charlotte screams.

"I had to miss the dance because of her! I have to come in second to her all the time! She's always better than me because she's everyone's favorite! I hate her! I hate what she's done to this family! I hate her!"

"Stop it!" Mommy yells. I wince. I don't want them to fight. Not today.

"Millie, you need to just shut up!" Charlotte hisses.

"Your uncles will be here soon and your cousins. You will be eating standing up for a long time if you don't watch it." Joe warns.

I decide that Millie has had enough and hurry down the steps to come to her defense, as I always have. It's not Millie's fault. It's Grandpa's, Granny's, Mommy's and even Peter's. Or maybe it's mine. But it's not Millie's. I hit the bottom step just in time for the climax.

"What about the stuff she can't take? Can I have it?"

24

"What?" Mommy screeches.

"Millie!" Charlotte cries out too. I run for the kitchen.

"She ain't coming back! She'll be dead to us!" Millie isn't lying.

I step into the room just as Charlotte slaps her daughter across the face. Millie takes a step back with eyes full of shock and shame. Joe makes no move to stop his wife. I see that Mommy and Joe are contemplating striking her too. Her younger brothers, Timothy and Marcus, stand behind their father with enraged eyes. I'm their favorite. I'm everyone's favorite. Millie's hand goes to her face. I move next to her before anyone else can hit her.

"Let her have what she wants," I beg. They all look ashamed. "Just this once? When I'm gone. Please?"

"If not for Shy, I wouldn't have you! Don't you ever say such things again! Ever!" Charlotte grabs Millie and hugs her close, crying into her hair. "Quit being so selfish!" Millie starts crying and Joe hugs them both.

"I'm sorry," Charlotte sobs.

"Come on." Mommy ushers me and the boys out the back door. "She actually had that one coming," Mommy sighs, smoothing my hair. "I think she's just going to miss you." I nod.

"No, Granny, she's not," Marcus replies. "She's selfish and hateful and jealous and…" he hugs me quickly and runs from me.

"Thirteen," Timothy finishes as he follows his brother.

"It was a decision that was made. A bad decision. To sacrifice one child to save another was wrong. For the child to know is even worse," Mommy sniffles.

"I'm okay with it," I lie. I hug Mommy and run to Daddy with my glove and the ball. I just want to get through the day.

I know that Charlotte and Joe have been with Millie like Daddy and Mommy have been with me. Honest. There was never a time that I didn't know. Millie has always known that I was the family tribute. That I was conceived out of desperation to save Millie. I simply accepted it as my reason for existing.

I felt that I was a happy, well-adjusted, talented kid who knew her life was limited. I used to sit and watch those TV shows about kids with cancer and felt a common bond with them because my life was limited and short. They didn't seem sad, so I tried not to be.

"Daddy!" I toss the ball to him and he catches it. I take my spot at the far end of the yard. It's a bit early, but I know that my brothers will be coming and I want just a little time alone with Daddy. I take what I can get.

"Here! Sit here! By me!" Craig and David were fighting to see who I'll sit with.

Bradley's two boys are older than me but they had always looked up and listened to me. Bradley laughs as the two boys began to wrestle. Timothy and

25

Marcus join in. The men stand about laughing. I duck the fighting and sit next to Jerome.

"How's God?" I ask. An old joke. Jerome smiles at me. It's Saturday. He's come straight from Mass. He still has on his collar. I reach to touch it. He has listened to my confession and given me absolution. I feel brave.

"Fine." Jerome kisses my forehead, hugging me close.

"This is so..," he nodded to the boys.

"Normal!" I laugh.

"There's nothing normal about this family." Jerome sighs.

"Still working on exorcizing all the supernatural things that go bump in the night?" I tease. He rolls his eyes at me.

Yes, he did work on the paranormal. My older brother is the only one against letting Peter take me. But in all his thirty-five years on Earth he has not found a way to stop it from happening. Jerome took his calling to God seriously. He shared our family's predicament with his superiors and found that he was neither the first, or the only man whose family had a blood pact with an Immortal. He also found out that there is nothing he can do about it.

The blood pact is solid. Grandpa made it. Grandpa has had to live with what he did. The rest of the family will just have to deal with losing me. I knew that I would simply go. Be gone. My family will never see me again or know  
what had become of me. Millie was right. I will be dead to them. Jerome would say a Mass for me. He promised me that and to take extra care of Millie. That was the best he can do for me and my soul.

"Dinner!" Mommy calls as she, Charlotte, and Bradley's wife, Marianne, put dinner on the table.

"Come on!" Bradley scoops me up and hoist me up onto his shoulder. I laugh as I'm carried to dinner.

Dinner is both a birthday dinner and a going away dinner. No one knows when I'll be taken. We have no idea when Peter will appear and claim his tribute. The family sits and holds hands as Jerome says Grace. I sit between my parents. I look up at Grandpa. He looks unhappy. I wink at him and he forces a smile for me.

I hate to see anyone sad. It makes me sick to my stomach. My heart is heavy. I know that everyone has been very sad lately. Grandpa has been the worst. I know what he's thinking. He stopped drinking when I was born and was left for Mommy and Daddy to raise. I know now that he wants to climb back into that bottle. I hope he doesn't. At least, he's quit apologizing.

I'm trying to be brave. I have to be. Daddy sets his hand on my knee when he notices that my hand is shaking. I force the food down, down past the lump in my throat. Daddy's hand is shaking too. I put mine over his and squeeze. We both look out the window at the sun that is setting. My stomach clenches and my heart skips a beat.

26

We were left alone to play catch. It was the only time I had alone with Daddy. I missed the ball and fell to my knees crying. Daddy came and held me. I made him promise not to let Mommy or Grandpa know that I cried. He promised as he hugged me and cried with me. He told me he was sorry. There is nothing for him to be sorry for. We finished our game and I spent time with each of my family members, one on one for the last time.

Jerome had come home and heard my confession. I let Grandpa tell me he was sorry and forgave him. Mommy let me lick the frosting bowl. Charlotte painted my nails and Millie had been civil. Joe and she had talked about football with the boys. Marianne had hugged me after she braided my hair. I was ready.

Cake. I blew out the candles and cut it. I lick the icing off laughing, as I serve it to the family. It's when I've finished opening all the gifts and sit hugging the new purple dress that there's a knock at the door. No one moves. We all sit, frozen. I take a deep breath. Daddy walks to the door. I drop everything and follow. Everyone else does too.

"Good evening!" The man stands smiling at Daddy. I step up next to Daddy and see that it's the man from the mountain. The woodland fairy. Peter. Daddy hugs me to him.

"Hello Shyane."

"Hello," I whisper. Is he really a woodland fairy?

"May I come in?" Peter asks. Daddy says nothing.

"No," Mommy is behind us, "You promised."

"So I did." Peter smiles at her.

I look back at Mommy and see that the blood has drained from her face. She had once asked the Immortal to not enter her house. He had obeyed. Now he was asking permission to enter. To come and take her child. To destroy her world. She said no. It would not stop him from taking me.

"Yes," I reply, stepping away from Daddy. "Welcome."

"How polite!" Peter says as he steps into the house, holding a small wrapped box. "I wonder if I might have a talk with the birthday girl?"

Mommy stumbles forward and pulls me back to her. Grandpa is there, holding both of us. Daddy stands, holding the door open, in shock. Joe reaches out to pull Millie and Charlotte to him. Everyone else moves away from the visitor.

I look up to see that Millie is hypnotized by Peter. She's drawn to him. Joe jerks her back to him. She tries to pull away. Peter smiles at her and Millie tries again to move to him. Joe drags her from the room. I know that Millie is entranced by Peter. It's frightening.

"That's who Shy gets to go with?" Millie is saying. I hear the jealousy in her voice. I'm used to it. "That's the Immortal who's been sending Shy gifts her whole life? He's going to take her to live in the lap of luxury for eternity?" I

27

really want Millie to shut up. I have a feeling that she's feeling as if she's been cheated from a life she was destined to live.

"Susan?" Peter is smiling at her. "I'll bring her right back to you. I promise not to take her without letting her say goodbye." Mommy makes a moaning noise like a wounded animal. She kisses my head before letting me step up to Peter.

We walk out into the yard. Peter stops and turns to face me. I gasp at how white his teeth are in the twilight. He smiles at me broadly as he hands me the little wrapped gift. I reach for it with shaky hands. I hold it, but don't open it. I'm afraid to. Peter stands watching me.

"I have thought about the question I asked you today," Peter speaks. I look down. "I thought I might grant you that wish." I look up. "More time with your family." My eyes lock on his. His eyes are so black and frightening. "How much time would you like?" Peter asks.

How much time? I look from Peter to the house. To my family. Knowing is the worst. Almost as bad as not knowing. How could I put them through this again? How could I make them suffer just because I'm selfish? I feel my heart getting heavy and ache.

"An hour?" I ask, looking back into his black eyes.

"Only an hour?" Peter asks, obviously confused.

"Just time enough to say goodbye."

"I could make it a year, or two. Time for you to grow up more for me." I don't like the look in his eyes. I have to look away.

"It's too much. The pain of waiting for you to come is too much for them. The agony of knowing that you will take me. Just take me tonight and end the  
suffering. End the pact. Let my family live without fear of you coming." I gulp back the nausea and fight the headache.

"I understand," Peter sighs. "I will give you until midnight." I nod, but can't look back at him. "Open it."

I look at the little box and open it. The pendant is simple. It's shaped like a heart. It's silver with my name engraved on it. No chain. Just the pendant. I hold it up and smile at him. It's pretty. Peter seems pleased that I'm happy with his gift. I gently put it back in the box.

"Thank you," I whisper, "Thank you for everything you have given me and done for me."

"I've done it for me also," he says. "I have plans for you, Shyane. You have great potential." I nod and feel my stomach turn.

"Midnight?" I ask in a hoarse whisper.

"Midnight."

Peter turns and walks away. He simply disappears. I turn and run for the house. Daddy catches me in his arms and I cry, in screams and sobs. I have five hours to say goodbye to my family and then I must leave them. I don't

28

know if I can be this brave.

It's almost midnight. I see that Grandpa is sitting on a log chanting as I walk to him. He is the last. I have packed. I have said goodbye. I have been hugged and kissed and blessed. I have wiped tears and begged for no one to cry over me. I assure them that Peter has said that I will have a wonderful life with him. I even lie and say that I might one day be able to come for a visit. I feel as if my nose will grow so long that it will break.

I walk out to the log and step around to where I am facing him. He had unbraided his long hair and in the moonlight Grandpa looks old with the glistening tears on his face. He is chanting the song of the dead. He holds the knife in his hand. I shudder. I know what he's going to do and I hate it. It's what the Cheyenne do when someone dies. Not just the Cheyenne, but most Indian tribes. They cut their hair in sorrow and shame. I hate that my Grandpa feels both of these.

"I have to go, Grandpa," I say. He nods, but doesn't stop. "Goodbye." He holds the knife tightly. "I love you." His voice raises.

I look to the house where everyone stands on the porch. I hold tightly to my backpack and my suitcase on wheels. I asked for everyone to stay on the porch. I don't want them to confront Peter. I don't want anyone hurt. Not over me. I hug my grandfather. He stops chanting and holds me, sobbing. I hear the knife fall to the ground.

"I forgive you," I whisper in his ear. I step back and feel the hand on my arm.

"Are you ready?" Peter. He's standing beside me, holding my arm firmly.

"Yes," I reply, in a quaking voice.

"William Red Elk, son of Joseph Red Elk and Grandson of Bo Red Elk your debt to me is fulfilled." Peter says soothingly.

I feel everything. I feel fear, rage and a sadness that drains my heart. I hear the screams from the porch as my mother fights to come to me. I watch as my beloved grandfather lifts the knife and cuts a chunk of his beautiful long hair from his head. I feel the roar of being pulled into the swirling darkness and I feel the sobbing scream that escapes my lips before I fall into darkness.

29

The

Desperate Plea

"No!" Susan screams as Shyane vanishes into the darkness.

They are all standing on the porch watching her talk to Billy. Then Peter is there with her, and then she is gone. Gone! Susan tries to run to her, but Charles holds her back. His last promise to his daughter. Susan screams and falls into his arms. The only sound is her sobs, the chanting of her father and the vanishing echoed cries of Shyane.

Shyane is gone. Susan pants. Tears blind her and rage fills her heart. Everyone is stunned. Charles helps her stand and she sees the tears in his eyes. How could he feel this way? She wasn't his child! But no, Shyane was his. Charles loved her more than he should have. They all did. Susan watches as Billy's hair falls in clumps about him. Yes, Shyane is dead to them. She is gone. The debt has been fulfilled. The family is safe.

"Is it over?" Millie asked in an exasperated voice.

Before anyone else can react Susan slaps her granddaughter hard enough to send the girl to the ground. No one moves to stop Susan or help Millie up. The two glare at each other. Millie's eyes are full of rage and jealousy. Susan's are full or pure rage.

"I should have let him take you!" Susan hisses.

"You should have!" Millie snaps as she jumps to her feet, "I'd be living in the lap of luxury! Now I'm stuck in this hell hole with you people!"

Millie runs from the porch and to the barn. She's sobbing. No one moves. They're still in shock. Why? They knew this was going to happen, that this day was coming. Her secret was that they didn't know Susan had gotten pregnant with the intention of giving the child to Peter. A child not of her husband. A child she didn't want and wouldn't love. A female child she had doomed. A child she now felt she couldn't live without.

"Excuse me," Jerome steps past everyone and follows Millie. He promised Shy.

"No! NO!" Susan turns and runs to her bedroom. This can't happen. Her mind's a frenzy! He took her daughter! Susan grabs her overnight bag and quickly packs. "No!" She screams throwing her clothes into the bag and zipping it closed.

"What are you doing?" Charles asks from the doorway.

Susan spins on him and wants to strike him. NO! Her father! Her mother! Peter! Susan draws in a deep breath and sits down on the bed. She can't be mad at Charles. He knew Shyane wasn't his and never said a word. He loved the girl more than he should have. More than most men would have. His face glistens with tears and distress. He couldn't do anything and that was what hurt the most. Not just that Shyane was gone, but that they had let her go.

"I have to go. I have to do something." Susan stands and reaches for her purse and the overnight bag.

"You're going to him?" Charles asks in a broken voice. Susan freezes.

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"Shyane's father?" Susan catches her breath. "I know you still see him." Charles walks in and sits on the bed in the most defeated way possible. Susan wants to crawl under the bed.

"Charles…" Susan has no idea what to say. There is nothing to say. She sits next to her husband and sets her hand on his. "I'm sorry."

"Do you think he can get her back?" Charles asks softly. Susan looks at him in shock. "I know he's rich and powerful."

"How?" Susan is at a loss.

"Those earrings are real." Charles nods to the emerald stones that Susan has worn for years. She never thought that Charles would notice.

"Oh, Charles!" Susan sobs.

"If he can get her back..," Charles stands and pulls his hand from hers, "go to him and beg." He walks from the room and from Susan's life.

Her life? What life? Shyane was gone. Charles knew. He had known. Susan stares at the empty doorway and compares it to her heart. The shape was there, but it's empty. There's nothing there. No one. She grabs her things and runs for the car.

"Another!" Susan's voice was hoarse. The bartender only smiled and poured her another two fingers of scotch. Susan downed it and hissed in pain. "Again!"

"Maybe you should at least sit down," the bartender offered. Susan sat.

"I'm sitting. Pour." He poured and Susan sat gazing into the glass.

Susan had been enjoying the conference. It was nice to get away every once in a while. The fact that her latest book was now listed under science fiction and not science should have bothered her, but it didn't.

Who in their right mind would believe that there were such things as Immortals, vampires and werewolves? Nuts! They believed, and as long as they believed and bought her books, then she could keep coming to conferences.

Charles made a good living on the farm, but the extra money came in handy. Money that was Susan's and that she could spend on silly little things. At least, that was what Charles said. If he knew what her latest little endeavor was he would hit the roof. She shifted on the stool and winced. She had to pee and the fact that she had just endured another round of fertility shots didn't help. She downed the scotch and hissed again. At least this would dull it.

"Are you here in the hotel or will you need a cab?" the bartender asked.

Susan looked at the man. He was handsome. Young and muscular. How would he take the offer? She wondered if that was why he was asking if she was staying in the hotel. Would he accompany her to the suite? Would he help her save her grandchild? Would Charles forgive her? Would God? Susan tapped the glass. The bartender didn't move.

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"I'm staying here," Susan huffed. "Want my room number?" The glass was refilled as if in answer.

"Just as long as you don't try to drive," the young man replied. Susan had a feeling he wasn't talking about a car. She smiled up at him as she brought the glass to her lips.

"I won't try and drive. Believe me." Susan slowly drank the scotch with a  
soft smile on her lips.

"Let me put a little water and ice in the next one?" The bartender got another glass. Susan nodded and fought not to cry.

Charlotte was pregnant. She had been on birth control and still she was pregnant. It was a shock. Joe and she had both said that they would not have children and yet… Susan knew that it was just meant to be. And if it was meant to be, it was meant to be a girl. Peter had his hand in this. He had to. He must have known. He would want this child. Peter would take Charlotte's child.

Susan had gone to a fertility doctor. Charles had a vasectomy after Charlotte was born and he had taken the possibility away for them. But not for Susan. She knew what she had to do and why. A child not of Charles would be easy to let go of. He wouldn't miss it or want it. He might not even want Susan anymore either, but Charlotte's child would be safe.

The conference had been perfect. A witch, a shaman, a voodoo priestess and an herbalist had all given Susan charms, spells, talismans and teas in hopes that this child would be a girl. All Susan needed was a donor. A donor that would never know of the child. Never ask for it. A one night stand. Susan needed a one night stand. Susan needed to cheat on her husband. A man she loved. She needed Charles to understand. She needed Charles.

"Are you alright?" the voice asked. A deep voice with a thick accent. "Miss Hollister?" The long sculptured hand reached out to caress the ring on her finger. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Hollister."

"Dr. Cruz! I'm fine," Susan smiled shyly.

Dr. Cruz was an exceptionally fine looking man. He was Spanish or French. Susan could never remember, but always felt flush when she gazed at him with his olive skin, dark brown eyes, black curly hair and rich full lips. Now he smiled a dazzling smile at her.

"You look… perplexed?" He signaled to the bartender to pour him a scotch and water.

Perplexed? That was one way to put it. Charlotte had called, sobbing, to tell Susan that the sonogram had showed them a girl. Charlotte was going to have a girl and Susan had to do something about it. She was desperate. Desperate enough to go against everything she believed in. Desperate enough to degrade herself. Desperate enough to give herself to a man she didn't love.

"I'm celebrating," Susan held her glass up to Dr. Cruz and tilted the scotch back, taking an ice cube into her mouth and sucking it. Dr. Cruz lifted an

32

eyebrow in amusement and sipped his drink.

"Really?"

"My daughter just called and told me that she is going to have a little girl." Susan tapped her glass again. Five? No, six. This was six. She was feeling the room begin to move.

"Coffee." Dr. Cruz pushed Susan's glass away, smiling at her.

"I don't want coffee," Susan mumbled and pouted at the man.

"You need coffee," Dr. Cruz finished his drink and nodded to the bartender. "as do I. Black!"

"Yuck!" Susan sighed, sitting back on the stool and almost falling over. Dr. Cruz caught her in his arms.

"At a table," he requested to the bartender and helped Susan walk to a booth.

"I want to get drunk!" Susan whispered. "I talk better with a loose tongue."

"You have succeeded!" He laughed as they sat. "So is the child not wanted?"

"What?" Susan looked into his eyes and lost herself. He had the most hypnotizing eyes ever.

"Your daughter's child is not wanted?"

"Oh, no! Charlotte wants the baby…" Susan shook her head to clear it and reached for the cup of black coffee set before her. "It's complicated. I'm really happy… I just…"

How could she tell this esteemed educator that the child would be given to an Immortal unless Susan did something about it? She had to save her grandchild and her child a life of heartache. Charlotte wasn't strong enough to deal with this. Susan wasn't sure she was.

"It's complicated," Susan sighed.

"Food." Dr. Cruz motioned to the waitress.

"What? It has nothing to do with food!" Susan was now confused.

"You need to eat." Dr. Cruz looked over the menu and ordered in French. Or Spanish maybe.

Susan thought he was being a bit flamboyant and showing off. She rolled her eyes, then paused. Dr. Cruz was a handsome, vibrant, not too old man and he seemed genuinely interested in Susan. Was he flirting with her? She breathed in and held her breath to try and sober up and clear her mind. Could the prestigious Dr. Cruz be a candidate for her diabolical scheme?

"Why are you doing this?" Susan asked, sipping her coffee. A glass of ice water is set before her.

"Drink," he ordered softly.

"Why?" Susan set the cup of coffee down.

"Colleagues need to stick together. Especially ones as beautiful as you." He winked at Susan and she felt her jaw drop.

33

"Colleagues? I write sci-fi books and teach American Indian History at a local college. You teach Egyptian Antiquities at the top college in the country!" Susan laughed, feeling the room begin to spin.

"We are educators." Dr. Cruz moved the glass closer to her. "Drink the water and it'll help you in the morning."

"Will it?" Susan drank the cold water and sighed. It tasted good. She didn't think anything would help her.

"So you are to be a grandmother? You seem so young!" Dr. Cruz was being polite.

"I have two grandsons by my oldest, Bradley," Susan smiled.

"So you have two children?"

"Three. Jerome is the middle and he's chosen a different path." Susan drank more water.

"It's not unheard of. There are many who choose an alternative lifestyle these days." Dr. Cruz was being polite. Susan choked on the water and grabbed a napkin to mop her face. Dr. Cruz looked confused. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"I'm not saying he's gay!" Susan laughed. "He's a priest!"

"Oh!" Dr. Cruz laughed with her. His laugh was light and delightful.

"I'm sorry Dr. Cruz.., what is your first name?"

"Bernardo." The name rolled off his tongue with elegance and flair. "Nardo to friends. Please, call me Nardo."

"Nardo." Susan let the name slide through her lips. "That sounds delicious." Susan batted her eyes at him.

"Are you flirting with me, Dr. Hollister?"

"It was Miss Hollister, then Mrs. Hollister a few moments ago. Now I'm Dr. Hollister? Why?" Susan drank the water with a smile on her lips.

"Well, you are a doctor and..," Nardo laughed at her, "I think you are flirting with me, Dr."

"No," Susan set the glass down as the meal was set before her. "If I was flirting with you, I would ask for you to come to my room and play hospital with me."

Susan felt her face burn and she locked her eyes on the pasta on the plate before her. She took a bite and found that she was hungry. The food was delicious. After a couple of bites Susan noticed that Nardo had not touched his food. She was afraid to look up. The embarrassment rose and Susan was afraid that her dinner would too. She looked up to find Nardo's eyes on her.

"I don't like playing games," Nardo's voice was cold and heartless.

"Shit!" Susan set her fork down and stood. It felt as if her face were on fire. "I'm sorry. It's the scotch. Thank you!"

Susan ran for the lobby. She had to get to the elevator before she fell over. She hit the Up button continuously until the doors opened and she fell in.

34

The humiliation weighed heavily on her. Now what would she do? How would she save Charlotte's baby now? There were mirrors in the elevator. Susan looked at her reflection, expecting the word failure to be stamped on her forehead. Not only had Susan failed in her endeavor, but she had also made a fool of herself.

The elevator door opened and Susan stumbled to her room. Why had she done this? Why was this happening? Why couldn't she do one thing right? Why was God punishing her? She had given her son to him, and now she was giving her granddaughter to the devil. The key card slipped from her fingers and to the floor. Susan bent to retrieve it and almost tumbled over.

"Whoa!" Nardo was holding her up.

"How did you get…?" Susan felt confusion and lightheadedness that made her knees weak.

"Stairs." Nardo took the key card and opened the door. He scooped Susan up into his arms and carried her into her bedroom.

"It's six floors. You ran up six floors?" Susan wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head on his shoulder. "For me?"

"I wanted to ensure that you made it to bed safely." Nardo kicked the door shut and carried her over to the bed. He set her down and smiled. "I didn't want you picking up any patients along the way, doctor."

"I'm sorry." Susan kicked off her shoes and stretched her aching toes. "I think I was drunk."

"And now?"

"You sober up real quick when you make a major fool of yourself!" Susan fell back into the bed. "I blame the scotch!" she giggled.

"Were you serious?" Nardo asked.

"About playing the doctor? Or is it the implication of wanting to spend the night with you?" Susan groaned again and closed her eyes.

"Either"

Susan opened her eyes and sat up to look at the man. The extremely handsome man who was gazing down at her in amused wonder. She rolled her eyes and tucked her legs up under her to face the music. Nardo was a well-respected educator; Susan was a filler for the boring parts of the conference. Nardo's workshops were standing room only in the main ballroom. Susan had a small room with people who were dressed as wizards and Zulu warriors.

"I was drunk," Susan said the words slowly.

"And now?"

"I'm humiliated." She threw herself back in the bed and jerked the pillow over her face.

Again, Susan wanted to drink herself into oblivion. She wondered if there was enough booze in the tiny bottles in the minibar. The room spun. Her stomach turned and she felt the bed move. Down. Nardo pulled the pillow

35

away, smiling. He leaned in and kissed her tenderly.

"I find you enchanting!" Nardo whispered.

A year. Susan returned to the conference a year later. Shyane was with Charles. Susan had fought hard to get her figure back. Charles had never said much about Shyane's origin. He was simply too happy to have Shyane with him. Susan tried to see the bright side of the situation, but couldn't. There had been too many things going on to think about or talk about Shyane. Now Susan had been worried about running into Nardo at the conference. Or maybe she had been hoping she would run into him.

Leaving Shyane was harder than she thought. Charles hadn't seemed  
bothered. He even carried her bag to the car. He and Shyane stood on the porch and waved. Susan couldn't help but notice that Shyane had hair just like Nardo. And his eyes. Susan wanted to see his eyes again.

His name wasn't on the itinerary, but Susan hoped he might attend. She couldn't tell Nardo about Shyane, but she could see him and compare his features to her daughter's. All she had to do was see him. Stalk him and stare. The idea made her stomach clench. It had been easy to forget about him after that night. Susan had slipped out of the hotel room before he woke and never looked back. Two weeks later, Susan was sure she was pregnant. Two months later it was confirmed to be a girl. Shyane. It wasn't until she had received the recent itinerary that Nardo had crossed her mind.

Not just her mind. Nardo's soft, tender touch had sent chills through her. The memory of that touch made her gasp. She confirmed her attendance and busied herself in her office trying to hide the blush that had risen in her face. Nardo was the past. A past Susan could not revisit. He had been a necessity. He had given her what she needed. A child.

As usual, attendance to Susan's lecture was low, but at least it gave her time to think of something witty to say to Nardo if she did 'bump' into him. All she had to do was think of a way to 'bump' into him. She didn't see him the first day. Her dinner was lonely and tasteless. She went to her room and threw herself across the bed. What a fool she had been and what a fool she was going to make of herself. How could she stop herself?

There was the bartender and the scotch to help hide the embarrassment. It might even dull the ache in her loins. An ache she had missed since before the birth of Charlotte. Nardo had awakened a long lost feeling in her. A feeling that would have to simply slide away. She climbed from the bed and dragged herself to the door. Scotch was the answer.

"Susan?"

Nardo stood smiling at her. He looked wonderful! Susan felt her jaw drop at the sight of him. She reached up to run her hand through her hair. His smile was delicious. She was tempted to dive into his arms. He stepped into the

36

room and pulled her into his arms. Susan melted against his chest.

"I missed you," Nardo whispered.

"Why did you just leave?" Nardo asked as he reached over to pull Susan against him. Her naked body was warm. She moaned. "I woke and you were gone. What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing," Susan mumbled. "I'm married with three grown children and I'm a grandmother. It was a mistake."

"And this?"

"Another." She sat up and looked down at him.

"I like mistakes." Nardo reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear. "You have beautiful ears."

"Thank you." Susan sighed.

Charles never noticed her ears. All Charles ever noticed was anything to do with Shyane. Susan suddenly felt guilt and missed both Shyane and Charles. She could see them in the rocker by the TV. Charles reading to her and Shyane smiling up at him. Billy would be there too. Both men adored Shyane.

"And here's something for your ears." Nardo held out a small box.

"What is it?" Susan asked.

"Open it." Nardo sat up and took her hand in his. He set the box in her hand.

Susan opened the box and smiled at the emerald earrings. The stones were large. Large and beautifully set. Emeralds. Susan's birthstone. She sighed and looked over at Nardo. There was no way she was going to accept the earrings. The guilt was heavy enough without feeling like a whore. A cheating wife was bad enough. This was too much!

"Before you say anything," Nardo sat up and kissed her, "I want you to have them and listen to what I have to say. They're magical." He had a mischievous smile on his face.

"Magical?"  
"You wear them and call for me. Call for me from the depths of your heart and I will come to you." He kissed her and Susan let the box slid from her hand as she was pushed back in the bed.

Every year. The same conference. The same hotel and the same room. Susan would check in, order dinner and gently twist the earring as she thought of him. She longed for him. Susan longed for Nardo from the depths of her heart. Soon there would be a knock at the door and he would be there with her.

Susan would check into the hotel. She would skip room service and she would wait. Fourteen years. For fourteen years she had been doing this. Susan had been calling Nardo. And each year he came. In more ways than one.

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Susan became suspicious after ten years. Nardo didn't age. He grew a mustache, cut his hair, dyed his hair, shaved his mustache, grew a beard but Dr. Bernardo Cruz did not age. Susan knew why, Nardo was an Immortal or something close to it.

She had confronted him. He had laughed at her and she had believed him. Now she prayed he had lied. Susan walked to the window and looked out. She reached up to touch the earring. Twisting it lightly in her fingers. She longed for Nardo from the depths of her heart as the tears welled up from the depths of her tortured soul. Susan had prayed, cursed, and now was willing to beg. She would beg for her daughter. She had to be right. There was a knock at the door.

"Nardo!" Susan ran to the door, throwing it open.

He stood looking beautiful, confused and concerned. Nardo's face was tender. Susan threw herself into his arms and sobbed. He held her, stepped into the room and shut the door. He stood holding her for a long time. Until she had cried herself out. This took a while. Susan was weak. Exhausted. Nardo carried her to the bed and set her down on it.

"What is it?" He asked looking her over for injury.

"You lied to me!" She sighed.

"About?"

"You're not human." She sat up and wiped her face.

"Susan…"

"I have to tell you something." She stood up and walked over to the bathroom to wash her face. Nardo followed. "What are you anyway?" Susan looked at him in the reflection.

"Susan…"

"My father made a pact with an Immortal. The deal was for the first born female child. Me." Susan wrung out a wet washcloth and held it to her eyes.

"Who?"

"His name is Peter."

"What is he?"

"I have no clue." Susan pushed past him to sit on the bed.

"You are his?"

"No, he let my parents keep me. Then he let me keep my daughter. And then…"

"Your daughter was about to have a girl." Nardo seemed to understand. "You slept with me in hopes of getting pregnant?" The pain in his voice was like a knife in her heart.

"I did get pregnant." Susan rubbed her face. "A girl. Shyane. Peter took her."

"What?" Nardo moved suddenly to grab her by the shoulders and shake her. "You let him take my child?"

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"Nardo!" Susan pushed him away, "Peter made my family suffer. He left Shyane with us. He told us he would come for her when she was thirteen."

"Are you crazy? You let some animal take my child?"

"Nardo! He took her last night!" Susan stood and walked to the window. "He took her at midnight! He took my baby!"

"Tell me everything you can about Peter!" Nardo stood waiting.

"Can you get her back? Can you bring her home?"

"Susan, your family made a pact with the devil. I don't even know if I can find her. Why wouldn't you tell me? Why didn't you?"

"Because I knew there was nothing we could do. I wasn't sure about you. But now I'm desperate! I want my daughter back!" Susan sank to the floor sobbing. "I want to die! I want Shyane home!"

"Susan," Nardo knelt down next to her. "I'm not sure I can do anything. I'm not sure that I ever could have." His hand caressed her head. "Just tell me what you know and let me try."

Susan started at the beginning. The beginning with Billy. She told him all that she knew. She tried to remember everything and explain it. She told him  
about Shyane. How she looked, how she was, how talented she was and then as if remembering, Susan pulled some photos out of her purse. One by one, she handed the photos to Nardo and explains where and when the photo was taken.

Nardo sat staring at the face of his child. His fingers traced Shyane's face. His eyes glistened as he listened to Susan talk about Shyane. She was a sweet, petite child who had always known that she was to be the family sacrifice. Shyane knew. Nardo held in his rage that a child would grow up knowing that she had no future. He felt rage building in his chest for Susan and her family for what they have done. For Susan for taking his child and keeping the girl from him. Then there was the rage that he had for the Immortal that had his child. The Immortal he would hunt down.

"You could have told me," Nardo whispered, clutching one photo in his hand.

"I couldn't risk my other children, their children or…"

"Your husband?"

"Charles loves Shyane. He loves her more than his own life. He knows about us. I think he always has. He asked me to beg you to find her. He doesn't know that you are something other than human. He just thinks you're rich."

"I am that, but it won't help where he has taken her."

"Where has he taken her?" Susan asked.

"To hell."

"And what will happen if you can find her?" Susan fought not to cry.

"If I can find her and get her away from this Peter, I will never let you lay

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eyes on her again." Nardo stood, taking the photos with him. "She's dead to you and your family. Never look for her or call me again." He walked to the door. "You gave up that right. If I were to return her to you there would be a great amount of danger. For her and you."

"Save her?" Susan stood. Nardo stopped and turned to face her.

"I'll do what I can."

Susan dropped to her knees and took his hand in hers.

"Save her! Please!" Susan sobbed.

"Goodbye, Susan!" Nardo jerked his hand away, leaving the room.

In the hallway he looked down at the smiling face of his daughter. He hurried to begin his search.

40

The

Debt

I cry. It's all I can do. The darkness has swallowed me and all I have is my tears. Peter has a hold of my arm in an iron grip and he basically drags me through the darkness. I stumble and almost fall. He jerks me to my feet and pulls me after him. I cling to my suitcase and the last that I have of my old life. Peter says nothing to me, but seems to be talking to himself.

We come to the house in the middle of nowhere. It's nowhere on Earth. I have no idea what realm or world we are in. I just know that it is dark, cold and I am foreign to it. The house is surrounded by dense woods and there are howls and screeches coming from the darkness. Peter looks back into the darkness and hurries to the house. Even he is frightened of this place. That's not reassuring.

"Hurry!" Peter opens the front door and pushes me in. I stumble. The lights come on and Peter is leaning against the door looking relieved. He bolts the door quickly. "Home sweet home." he gasps.

I'm standing in the large entry way of a magnificent home. Magnificent, huge and empty. The ceilings are high and the chandelier is blinding bright. I hold tightly to my suitcase and stand panting and waiting. That was certainly one of the most trying trips I have ever endured. My head is still spinning along with my stomach. I let my back pack slid down my arm. It's heavy, bulky and I'm afraid to let go of it. It's all of have my life.

"Follow me." Peter takes my suitcase and climbs the steps two at a time. I follow because I don't want to be alone. And he has my suitcase. I hold tightly to my backpack.

The upstairs is as vast as the floor below. I follow him around the circular staircase and into a large room. It's a bedroom. I freeze by the door. I watch as he sets my suitcase down by the bed. I shake my head and back away as Peter comes to me. I know what he wants. I can see it on his face. I also know that I can't give it to him.

"I offered to let you grow up, but now you've given me no choice with your selfless actions. You wanted to take the suffering from your family. Now, the debt of that family falls on you." He steps up to me. "For some reason, you seem to age slowly. You're so childlike and yet… so alluring."

I back into the door. It's shut and locked. I try to open it and it won't budge. I have no place to go. I turn to face Peter. He's right behind me. I close my eyes as his hand reaches out to touch my face. I'm terribly frightened by him. His breath is stale and cold on my face as he kisses my cheek.

"I've had dreams of you and I," he whispers. So have I, but I don't dare tell him that mine were nightmares. "You understand what it is I want?" I shake my head and try to hold back the urge to vomit.

"Shyane, you are not a child anymore. Not here. You belong to me. You know that. You can be a part of my life and live a luxurious existence. If you want."

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"I want to go home!" I plead.

"This is your home," Peter smiles coldly at me. "How you live is your choice. You can share my bed and life or be my pet." He reaches to touch me and I flinch.

"Please, I don't want…" I move away from his touch.

"I have time, Shyane. I have plenty of time for you to come around to me."

"I want to go home!" I beg.

The change is sudden. Peter's eyes flash angrily and he slams me back against the door. I whimper and begin to cry again. His eyes are piercing black. I'm very afraid of him.

"You can never ask me that again," he hisses. "You are mine. You are a tribute and you are to spend eternity with me. Ask to go home again, and all of your family will be killed." I gasp. "That's the way it is. You are dead to them and them to you. I am now your family and that is all there is to it. Do not ever ask again! Or I will kill them so that you can put them to rest." I begin to sob uncontrollably. "Do you understand?" I nod.

"Now," he seems to be fighting for control over his rage, "will you sleep in my bed with me?"

I shake my head.

"Fine!"

He jerks my backpack from my hand and tosses it in the corner. I stand as he jerks my coat off and throws it with my pack. He looks me over and then walks over to the dresser. I watch him grab something from it and come back to me. It looks like a belt. I'm afraid that he's going to beat me.

"Where is my gift to you?" he hisses.

I reach in my pocket and pull out the pendant.

"This, or this?" He holds up a silver necklace and a leather dog collar. "Partner or pet?" He holds the lovely necklace before my face. I shake my head.

He snatches the pendant from me. I watch in horror as he attaches it to a collar. A dog collar! He's going to put that on me! I try to back away but there is no place to go. He grabs my arm and jerks me to him. I wince as he fastens the collar around my neck and the leash to the collar. He jerks it hard and I almost fall over.

"This is what you want?" he snarls. I close my eyes to him. "It's this or my bed!" He points a finger to the bed. I shake my head again. "Fine!"

I am flung to the ground. He jerks the door open and tugs at the leash with all his might. I get to my feet and am dragged through the house and back down the stairs. Peter is flipping on lights as we go. I hold tightly to the leash and try to keep my balance. I'm blinded by tears and fear. Peter jerks the leash violently and I fall into the room.

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I sit up as the lights come on and I see that I'm in a makeshift studio. There are several mirrors set up so that I see several versions of me sitting on the floor, crying. There's a piano in the corner, portable bars set up in front of the mirrors and the hardwood floors are highly polished. I get to my knees and look at myself. My hair is in my face, which is tear-streaked, and I'm on my knees wearing a leather dog collar and leash. Peter is pacing across the room.

There are huge windows along the exterior wall. And iron bars. I can see the doorless bathroom and the simple bed in the corner. One wall of barred windows, one wall of mirrors and two drab grey walls and ceiling holding it all together with the wooden floor. This is my new home.

"You will stay here until you decide to fulfill your obligation." Peter is standing before me, looking down at me in disgust. "You will eat, sleep and perform for me in here."

Perform? I gaze up at him. His face is cold. Suddenly it softens. He kneels down to gaze at me. I sit back from his gaze.

"You must know that I didn't just leave you with that family out of pity or revenge. I spent years grooming you."

Grooming? I want him to go away. I want him to let me go home. I want to have never been born. I hug my knees to my chest.

"I sent gifts. I sent instructions. I let them enjoy you and help sculpt you into what I wanted you to be. I gave you an opportunity to be happy with them and know them instead of fostering you out to strangers. I wanted you to be like her."

Her? Who? My mother? He had my mother groom me for him? Groomed? How was I groomed? I sit waiting for him to explain it to me. I want to ask questions, but I can't seem to speak. It feels as if I have lost my voice. I open my mouth to speak several times and find I can't. The thought of my family dying because of me takes my voice from me.

"Your mother was the most beautiful baby I have ever seen." Peter's smile is wistful. "I wanted her, but I knew that she would hate me. I knew that she would never love me as she loved that man. I saw that. I knew you were meant for me. The instant I laid my hand on her stomach I knew you were special." His hand moves to touch my face. I look down. "I knew you were gifted."

"I won't let anyone hurt you. I won't touch you. I want you to be happy here and I want you to be mine. I want you to understand that I've waited a very long time for you and I'll wait until you've grown up enough to truly be mine." I wince as his hand caresses my cheek. "But you will be mine. You will not leave this room until you agree." He sits back from me. "And you will agree."

Now it's my turn to sit back from him. I hold the leash in my hand and scoot away from him. I don't want his touch. I want my heart back. It feels as if

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my chest is empty. I had always heard people say that I had a song in my heart, but since I no longer had a heart, I had no song. I didn't think I could walk, let alone dance, and I know that I haven't the strength to play the piano.

"Until then, you will remain in here and entertain me. You will dance, sing and make music for me."

Peter stands and I find myself against the wall. He holds his hand out to me. I stand on my own. I let the leash go and it dangles at my feet. I'm afraid of Peter. I'm afraid of this world he has brought me to. I'm afraid of what's expected of me and of what I will have to endure. He reaches out unsnaps the leash from the collar. I look away.

"This is only for when you misbehave." He mumbles folding the leather leash in half and smacking it against his leg. The sound is loud and enough to make me jump in fear.

I watch Peter leave the room, locking the door behind him. I am his. I am his prisoner. I am here to repay a family debt and that debt will take an eternity. I think of Jerome and his strong faith in God. I want that kind of faith, but I'm filled with fear. I slide down to the floor and cry.

"One more time!" Michele laughs as she bangs wildly on the piano. I dance about smiling. It seems as if I can only smile while I dance. When Peter is away. My heart soars each time he leaves my room and more so when I learn that he's gone.

Peter is gone again on an extended trip and Michele is the girl who cleans the house with Celeste, the older woman who cooks, brings me food and keeps the door locked when Peter is away. Michele is about my age, only taller and rounder. She knows basic piano so she helps me practice when Peter is gone. Deep in my heart I know that I'm a dancer first and that dancing will keep me alive. When Peter is home, Michele is not allowed to speak to me under threat of a beating. Luckily, he goes away quite often and for several days at a time.

I flitter about in toe shoes as Michele plays a rudimentary tune. I find that the music lightens my heavy heart. I find my voice and my laugh. When Peter is near, these leave me. I am a shell of a person when he is near. Fear fills my heart along with the tears that I shed. I can't help but cry when he's near. He frightens me and touches me. I shudder, thinking of his touch.

I have been in this room for over eight months. I've kept count by saying a prayer and making a notch on the baseboard each morning. At first it was as Peter had promised. He came to the room for me to entertain him. I was unable to. I couldn't sing, dance or make music. I cried. In frustration he left me to suffer alone. It wasn't so much suffering as relief. I liked being alone. After the first day, Michele came to bring me my meal and the simple dress that I was required to wear. Nothing more than a thin, short, cotton shift that was easy to

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move about in and easier to be abused in.

Like most men, human or anything else, drink does damage to the senses. It was after about a week that Peter came to my room, drunk and holding the leash. His visit came in the middle of the night and took me by surprise. I had been sleeping and woke by being dragged from my bed. Drowsily, I tried to push him away, which got me a smart slap to the face. Blinded by tears, I fought him.

The leather leash hurt more than anything as it came down across my back. I couldn't even scream. My voice was gone. My tears were not. I was lucky that he was so drunk or I might not have survived his rage. He left me lying on the floor sobbing and praying. He stayed away from me for a while.

After each attack he will bring gifts, flowers, candy, or trinkets. I don't touch them. He becomes angry and leaves me. Michele tells me when he's away on business. She has becomes my companion until his return. I recover my voice and my urge to dance with her.

Celeste never steps into the room. Michele comes daily to keep me company. She has a bright smile and blue eyes. I learn that she too was a tribute, only she had been taken from her family at birth and given to Celeste to raise so Michele has never left the house. I'm not the only one who's Peter's prisoner, only Michele has no idea she is. She thinks of herself as his pet. This is simply her life.

Now she begins another tune and I dance about. We laugh and giggle as the music echoes on. I sit down on the floor, exhausted. It feels good to be exhausted like this. I now know how the animals in the zoo feel. And I know why the caged wild bird stops singing. I miss the long walks with my grandfather. I miss the talks with my mother and playing catch with my daddy. I miss more of my past life than I had anticipated. I even miss Millie's continuous cold remarks.

I look out into the woods and wonder what is beyond that woodland. Does this world simply end there? The sky is not a bright blue but a reddish purple. The sun and moon move in odd directions. I've always known north on my internal compass, but here, my compass is broken. I find myself gazing in one direction. I'm drawn to that direction. Is that north? Maybe a way home? I'm afraid to ask and I know I won't be allowed to leave my room, but I can dream. And I do.

I dream nightly of home and my family. I cry most nights. I miss my father and mother and grandfather. I dream of escaping through the woods and finding my family farm on the other side. Some nights I have nightmares. In my nightmares, Peter is chasing me and the woods never end. I stand up and walk to the window. The breeze is cool and refreshing. At night it's cold. Some nights, almost unbearable. Michele has brought me several heavy blankets that I burrow under and some nice thick, warm socks that I wear on my feet and

45

hands. I miss my purple blanket, but I'm getting used to the cold.

The woods are beautiful. There are several trees that I don't recognize. And I have seen animals that I've never seen before. I know that I'm no longer in the world I grew up in. I'm someplace that I don't know, understand or feel comfortable in. I pray daily and feel a sense of comfort in that, but I wonder if even God could find me here. I wonder if this is hell. To me it is. My eternal hell.

I limp a bit still as I move from the window to the piano bench. My lunch is sitting on the piano. Michele watches as I eat. She's not allowed to join me, but she can keep me company. We talk and giggle about nothing. It's all we have. I can't tell her about my life before I came here because she wouldn't understand, and I don't want to have to explain. I'm afraid I'll cry.

I shift and wince. My leg aches. Peter struck me in such a way that the muscles in my lower leg ache, still. I'm not sure if it was the beating or being tied for so long. He left me tied hand and foot on the floor through the night, and it was dreadfully cold. I lay shivering and crying through the ordeal. Michele came in the morning with food and freed me.

Michele's a kind girl, but that day she was angry as she helped me get cleaned up. She mumbled and grumbled as she wrapped me in blankets. I sat trembling, too weak to cry. She fed me hot food. I was in a stupor from the events of that night.

Usually he will come to my room and climb in my small bed and hold me against him. When he's really drunk, his hands caress and massage my shoulders, back, buttocks and legs. I keep my eyes closed as if I'm asleep and try to imagine that I am somewhere else. He whispers that he loves me and kisses my ear, hair and cheek before falling into a drunken sleep.

I'm not stupid. I know about child abuse. I've seen the movies about incest and the men who make children their sex toys. I know that this is what I'm becoming for Peter. He had offered to let me stay with my family and become an adult, but still, I would just be his sex toy. Either way I will spend what's left of my life in Peter's bed, at his mercy. All because my grandfather asked favor.

Sometimes I actually envy Michele because she doesn't know any difference or the love of a family. She has no one to miss. No one mourns her loss or misses her. She has only known that she is here to serve Peter. And she loves Peter. Something I don't think I can ever do. This bothers me the most. I want love, I want a family, I want a life, I want… home.

I spend my evenings sitting on the floor by the barred windows and looking out into the woods. Even after the lights are turned off, I sit wrapped in a blanket and dream of life beyond the woods. Some nights I fall asleep here and wake when it gets too cold and crawl to bed. It was on one of these nights that he came out of the woods and stood looking at me in the darkness. He's

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multicolored, brown, black, and grey mixed with white. His eyes shine in the darkness. At first I was shocked. Was her real or my dream? He looked like a wolf or a dog. Was he wild or a pet? He walked right up to the barred window and stuck his cold, wet nose in my hand.

"Well, aren't you a handsome fellow?" I asked reaching through the bars to pet him. He ended up lying on the ground by the bars so that I could reach through to scratch and rub. He moaned and whined at the attention. "Who do you belong to? Are you lost?" I felt for a collar and found none. At least he was free.

I spent the night there with him. In the morning he was gone and I was again alone. All day I looked for him, but he was gone. That night I sat waiting and just as I fell asleep, he came and licked my face. I laid down on the floor and hugged his warm body to mine through the bars. He became my nightly guest. My welcomed guest. Peter was not.

I was sitting by the window when Peter came into my room. I sat up and measured his demeanor. It wasn't good. I tried to move as quickly as I could, but got tangled in my blankets. I tumbled forward and right into his arms. He was drunk and I fought as he kissed me. So far, this was as forward as he had gotten. He had said he'd make me agree to his terms and he had time. He had eternity.

Every time he approached me I refused or fought. When he was near, I lost my voice and my ability or will to dance. This angered him. He would beat me and then leave me. This time, he fastened the leash to the collar and used it to tie my hands behind me, immobilizing me. His kisses traveled from my face to my neck and then farther down. Peter tore the front of my shift and exposed my breasts to the cool night air. His wet kisses sent shivers through my body.

It was the first time he had gone that far. He touched me in ways that I realize were wrong. It's the way a man would touch a woman. In my mind, I was still a child. Here, in this world, it didn't matter. It wasn't wrong to anyone but me. I had known that Peter was not going to wait for me to decide to sleep with him. In all actuality, he had waited longer than I had expected.

Alcohol had a lot to do with it. He had too much to arise to the occasion, but enough to think about it. He didn't rape me that night, but I saw in his eyes that if he hadn't been as drunk, he would have. In the end he was just angry at himself for not being able to perform and for me not cooperating. He beat me with the cane he carried and left me lying on the floor. I stared out the window hoping that my dog would come. I closed my eyes to the darkness and the pain.

The next night I'm in my bed when I hear the whimpering. I more fall out of bed than anything else and drag myself to the window. The dog put his paw through the bars and laid it on my arm. I kiss his paw, pull the blanket over me

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as I fall asleep. In the morning Michele came to complain about me trying to kill myself by sleeping on the floor.

Peter is gone and I have a limp. The last beating was over a week ago and still, I limp. I know he'll return soon. Michele tells me that he's gambling and asks if I know what that is. I tell her that I do and frown to show that I disapproved.

"He always loses," Michele moans in her dramatic way, "But he tries."

Over the months I have learned a few things. First, Michele has sex with Peter almost nightly since I won't. I know that Celeste slept with him until she got too old for his taste. There was another girl, but Peter lost her in a game of chance. It was then that he decided that Michele was old enough. I also know that Michele had not wanted me to come here. She's afraid she will no longer be Peter's favorite. Now she knows she isn't the favorite, but she's still in his bed. For that, it's easy to forgive my intrusion of her life because Michele is in love with Peter.

"I hope doesn't lose me," Michele sighs.

"He won't. He'd miss you terribly," I reply.

"He'd let me go long before he'd let you go."

"Why do you say that?"

"Shyane, he has always said that there is something special about you that makes you worth your weight in gold."

"I don't weigh that much," I tease.

"You calling me fat?" Michele teases back. We both laugh.

"Why am I so special?" I ask.

"I don't know," she shrugs, "he's always talked about you that way."

"How old are you?"

"Me?" Michele sits calculating in her head, "I'm nineteen. At least I think I am. Or will be."

"How long have you and Peter been…?" I frown.

"Four years." She smiles shyly. "Almost five."

"Does it hurt?" I turn and walk back to the window.

"Have you?" I shake my head.

"I read about it."

"How do you read about it?" she scoffs.

Easy. You go to the library, get a stool and drag down the books from the top shelf. That will educate you real fast. Almost as fast as it takes for the librarian to call your mother. I was halfway through the Kama Sutra when Mommy slammed her purse down on the table I was sitting at. I jumped and blushed.

"Why?" Mommy hissed at me. I was twelve. Her face was red and she was both mad and embarrassed.

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"I wanted to know." I looked down at my hands.

"Why?"

"Because in a year it'll be expected of me." I peeked out from under my lashes at her. Her face was pale with shock. "I don't want to be stupid and I want to know how much it's going to hurt. Millie says it hurts so bad that you want to die!"

"Millie? Huh?" Mommy sat down and pulled the book around the table to her. She frowns at what I've reading and slams the book shut. "I should have known that she had something to do with this. Since Charlotte told her, she's been a perfect little bitch."

"Mommy!" I admonish her.

"She's my granddaughter. You're my daughter." Mommy looked at me and frowned. "Do you have any questions?"

"A lot." I replied.

"Should have known." Mommy rolled her eyes. "I need a drink. Leave these and let's find someplace with food and alcohol." Mommy shut the book and picked up her purse.

"Do I get alcohol, Mommy?"

"No, Shy, only Mommy. I'll need it to get through this."

We went to a quiet restaurant and sat in a corner booth. Mommy answered all of my questions honestly. And told me a lot more things that I hadn't read in the books. She drank a lot as we talked. After we ate she called Daddy to come get us. We stood outside waiting. Mommy was breathing deeply of the evening air. Her cheeks were very flushed.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, Shy?" She's standing with her eyes closed.

"Do you do those things with Daddy?"

"What?" Mommy's eyes snap open and she looks at me in shock.

"You said that it's normal for men and women to do that when they're in love and even when they ain't."

"Shy! I love your father dearly!" Mommy sounded so angry.

"But you and he don't sleep in the same bed and you don't touch. You love him, but are you in love with him?" I try not to sound redundant.

"Shy! You are the most aggravating child I have ever met!" Mommy groans.

"Is that why you're giving me to Peter?"

Daddy pulls up with Bradley just then. Mommy hands her car keys to Bradley and sits down on a bench. I sit next to her. Daddy came and stood with us as Mommy tried to figure out what to say to me. I wasn't trying to be rude, but I did want to know. At that time, I felt I had a right to know. It was my life that I had no control over and would not be able to live. I just wanted to know why me.

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"Shy, we had no idea we would be able to keep you. We thought you would be taken the night you were born. We didn't get attached to you. Well, we shouldn't have, but we fell in love with you the instant we saw you." Mommy put her arm around me. "We didn't know honey. We just didn't know."

I sat hugging my mother as she cried. Daddy sat on the other side of us and hugged us both. They loved each other. They loved me. At that time, it was all that mattered. And it still mattered. To me.

"Does it hurt?" I ask again.

"Sort of. The first time. After that it's kind of enjoyable. No, it's great." Michele smiles dreamily.

I smile with her and hope she isn't lying to me, because I'm afraid that the next time Peter beats me I might give into him. I know that my leg is hurt seriously and that I'll get more of the same when Peter returns. I don't tell Michele that I've been thinking about giving in. I know that once I say yes, Peter will say no to her. I'll lose my only friend, but I might save my life.

"I was never good at this," Michele runs her fingers over the piano keys. "I think it's funny that I can play so well when I'm in here with you. I tried to at the house across the way when I went for eggs and I was horrible!"

"There are other houses around here?" I peer into the woods. There might be hope after all.

"Yeah," Michele sighs, "Big ones with many servants. Don't get any ideas. Peter won't let you out of his sight and I think he might kill you rather than let you go. He's kind of crazy that way."

"Is he?" I peer into the woods.

"Yes, when it comes to you. He'll beat you so that you can never dance again. Ever." Michele isn't lying. I know Peter will if he catches me. But that  
doesn't mean that I shouldn't try. "I got work to do."

Michele stands and gathers the dishes. She knows I'm going to try. In a way it's okay with her. Once I'm gone she won't have to worry about coming in second to me. It would be nice if Peter were in love with her, but I have a feeling that Peter is incapable of loving anyone but himself.

Michele leaves and I sit at the piano. My fingers glide across the keys and the music fills the room. I'm homesick. I try not to be, but I think of Daddy sitting with me at the piano, showing me how to make a melody. His smile haunts my dreams. I learned to play with him working the pedals because I couldn't reach them. Now as I press the pedal my leg aches. I have to stretch to reach the pedals. I'm too short and the piano bench isn't adjustable. I want my Daddy now.

The melody is sad. I want to play something bright and lively but I can't. No, I can't play happy tunes when I'm thinking of my family. I can't. This place is so different than home. There's no Christmas, New Year's, Thanksgiving,

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Halloween or anything like that here. There's no Sunday dinner when everyone comes home and there's no church or school. No apple pie or mashed potatoes with cream gravy. There's nothing here but empty days and cold nights.

I hit the wrong key and the note is sour. My heart skips and my stomach turns. I close my eyes to the sick feeling that takes me by surprise. I shiver at the cold as Peter steps into the room. My hands fall to my lap and I wait. He walks around the piano and sets a wrapped gift box on it. I look down at my hands that I twist in my lap.

"You play so well..," Peter's voice is kind, "I love to hear it." He sits next to me on the bench. "I brought you a gift. Can you say thank you?" I say nothing. "Can you at least look at me?" I take a deep breath and raise my eyes to meet his. He smiles at me. "That's a good girl!"

His hand moves towards my face and I jump back and fall off the bench. Peter is quick to lift me into his arms. I don't fight. He carries me over to the bed and sets me down. I sit and wait as he hurries back to the piano and retrieves the gift. It's thrust into my hands. I swallow before I open it. He watches me anxiously. I take out the pointe shoes and force a smile. They're lavender. My favorite color.

"I hope to see you dance in them one day." He sits next to me and I freeze. His hand comes to rest on my knee. I wince. He looks at me with concern. I can't stand his touch. I stand and limp over to hang the delicate shoes on the end of the bar he has set up before the mirrors for me.

"You're limping! What happened?" He jumps up angrily. I stand waiting for the next blow. "Who did this?" He looks frantic. "Michele!" I watch as he storms to the door.

"You." I say. My voice is hoarse and detached. It doesn't even sound like me.

"What?" Peter turns to look at me in shock.

My voice. I found it with him in the room. Only in desperation. He would hurt Michele thinking that she had hurt me. I can't let that happen. Michele is kind and sweet and she has done nothing wrong. He has. He walks to me and I know that I have just given him insight to me. He knows I will speak up to keep her safe.

"I would never hurt you!" Peter declares, "I couldn't! I love you. You must have fallen!" I think he wants to convince himself more than me. Maybe he doesn't remember striking me.

I look at him as he walks to me. I see it in his eyes. He remembers. I begin to tremble. No, I can't argue. His hand is in a fist. I'm afraid. Afraid for me and for Michele. Peter is standing right in front of me. His eyes are cold and accusing.

"You must have fallen." His voice matches his eyes.

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I look down and nod. His hand cups my chin and forces my face up. I stand frigid as his face moves closer to mine. I can't stop shaking. His other hand is on my shoulder, holding me steady. His lips meet mine. I wince and try to turn away. His hand moves to grab my hair at the base of my skull, tilting my face so that he can kiss me while the other hand encircles my waist. He lifts me to him as he kisses me. I close my eyes and feel revulsion rising.

"Dance with me?" he whispers as he holds me close to his chest. He waltzes about the room. I can do nothing. I'm like his puppet. His toy. His hands hold me to his body. My family debt holds me as his prisoner.

Over his shoulder I see our reflection in the mirrors. I looked frightened and he looks excited. I don't fight. I am limp in his arms. His body moves against mine and I want to push away from him. I don't. I'm afraid of what he will do. I know he'll take offense to the action and I might get beat again. I don't know that I can take it. I want to give in so that he will stop abusing me.

"I love you." His voice is tender in my ear as he stops by the bed. I feel my heart racing and I hear my breath coming in gasps. "I'll wait a little longer for you. But not much longer. You are so beautiful." He kisses me again. "And you are mine."

I expect him to toss me into the bed, but I think that he knows he hurt me. He holds me in his arms, gazing lovingly into my eyes. I fight to continue my steady gaze. I can't look away. He wants me to keep eye contact. He likes it. He thrives on the fear in my eyes. I feel his hands on my buttocks and back. I'm trembling. His gaze is tender. I don't mean to but tears begin to fall. Peter frowns.

"You," he sets me down carefully as I gasp for air, "must be more careful. You are very precious to me." He taps the tip of my nose with his finger.

I watch him walk away. I slide from the bed to the floor. I'm shaking in relief. He's gone. I'm sick. I crawl to the bathroom and vomit. The nausea is real and intensely painful. I end up curled up by the toilet, crying. It's cold and I'm shivering.

I don't know how long I lay there when I hear the whimper and at first think that it's me. I look out and see my dog at the window. My heart lightens. I'm up and running to him. Through the bars I hug him and cry in his chest. He smells so wonderful, like the outdoors. Like home.

52

The

Rescue

"More shoes?" Michele asks, bringing me dinner.

"Yeah."

I look out into the woods. My dog has run to hide. I don't know why he doesn't want anyone to see him but then I don't want anyone to see him. He is the only thing I have that is mine.

"Why are you sitting there?"

Michele basically drops the tray of food on the piano. She's upset. She must have been watching Peter and I when he kissed me. I know she blames me because that's all she can do. I stand slowly and limp to the piano. She steps away and is gently stroking the shoes.

I'd let her try them on but my foot is half the size of hers. Michele is tall. She towers over me, and although I don't fear her, I know she can hurt me if she wanted to. If she wasn't afraid of Peter hurting her.

"He said for you to take a hot shower for your leg." She hits one shoe so that it hits the other and like a pendulum they swing back and forth. "And there's some salve there to rub on it."

I nod and look at my dinner. Meat! With bone! I bite my lower lip and look at Michele. I want that bone for the dog, but I can't let Michele see me give it to him. I eat the vegetables. They are hot and tasteless. Salt. I miss salt. Everything is so bland. I wrinkle my nose at it.

"Not good enough for you?" Michele asks in a hate-filled voice.

"I miss salt. And pepper." I sigh. "And paprika!"

"What are those?"

"Spices. You put them on food to enhance the taste. Like butter on biscuits." Michele gives me a confused look.

"What does that mean?"

"It's food from home." I long for home and food from home.

"Butter?" Michele sits down on the bench next to me. I wish the vegetables had butter on them.

"Like the candy? Chocolate? It's creamy and tasty." I had given her a piece of chocolate that Peter had given me after a beating. It was our secret. She had liked it.

"Mmmmmm!" She hugs herself. "He's gone again." I stop eating to look up at her. "Some card game." Michele shrugs and looks sad.

Peter probably didn't even speak to her. He spent all his time with me. I figure that she's angry with me and hurt by him. I eat the vegetables and watch her pout. I want her to go so I can give the meat to my dog. She sits and pouts. I sigh heavily and wait. She doesn't move. She has to take the dishes back. If I claim to be tired she simply take the tray away. Food and all.

"Do you think Celeste would have anything to drink?" I cough a bit.

"What about that?" she nods to the glass on my tray. The half spilled glass.

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"Something with taste. The water is flat." I cough again.

"Be right back."

Michele grudgingly leaves the room, locking the door behind her. I snatch up the meat and wrap it in a napkin and limp to hide it under my pillow. I settle back on the bench and slowly eat the tasteless vegetables. Michele comes back with a cup of broth. It smells of the meat. I smile and drink it. It's tasty. I yawn.

"You done?"

Good! Michele is still upset so she won't stay to talk to me. She gathers my dishes and mumbles as I limp over to the window. I'm looking out the window. I'm hoping my dog will come back. I don't want to keep the meat too long or it'll rot. The smell will draw attention. I want the company. And the comfort.

"Night!" Michele smiles at me as she slams the door and locks it. Loudly. Point taken. She's also a pet, but she can move farther than just this room.

"Night!"

I limp to the bed for the meat, a pillow and my favorite heavy blanket. I drag it all over to my spot on the floor. I sit, leaning my head against the iron bars, watching the funny reddish purple sky darken. My fingers travel to my neck and I tug at the pendant that hangs from the collar I wear. I removed the collar once. Only once. I stood for my next several meals.

This world is so different. In my world this happens, but eventually the girl is rescued and after months of intense therapy and a lengthy trial, she proceeds to live a productive life. Her family greet her happily and all the gifts from birthdays and Christmas' are waiting for her. The boy she liked is there holding a rose for her.

I wonder what Phil is doing. I realize he's probably kissing Millie. I wasn't his type. He wanted to go with her, but was afraid to ask her. I was the next best thing. And that didn't work out so well because I told him to ask Millie. I had forgotten about our camping trip. I had even asked Charlotte to let Millie skip the trip and go to the dance. Joe had nixed it. He didn't like Phil.

There were hardly any boys in school that I liked. Phil was okay, but he didn't know anything about baseball and tried to act like I didn't. I didn't like that he wanted me to be stupid so he could look smart to his friends. He was just childish. In fact, all the boys were. They treated me like I was a little kid. No one ever looked at me the way they looked at Millie.

Then there was the fact that I figured that I would never be looked at by any boy as more than a little kid, let alone be in an intimate relationship. I was slow in developing and I was leaving. What was the point? What was the point of my life? Other than giving Millie, Charlotte and my mother a reprieve from this. I felt the tears of despair coming just as the cold nose came through the bars and the long tongue slapping against my face.

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"Hey! I got a surprise for you!" I lay the meat on the ground and he only looks at it and licks me again. "I had to sneak that for you so you better enjoy it!" I tease.

Dog gives me a lopsided grin with his tongue hanging out. He lays down and begins to eat the meat. I let him finish before I touch him. I don't like people messing with me when I eat. He keeps looking over at me with that crazy grin and I smile back at him. Once he's done he rolls on his back so I can rub his tummy. I end up lying next to him and falling asleep with my arm over his warm body.

"Get up!" Peter is yelling at me frantically.

I sit up and look around. The lights are on. It's dark out. It's still night. I clutch the blanket close thinking Peter's drunk and wanting to touch me. He doesn't come near me and he isn't alone. Celeste is in the doorway, crying, and Michele is in the room wringing her hands. Peter is rehanging my bathroom door. My dog is growling. I look over at him and see that he's glaring at Peter with hate in his eyes. If a dog can hate, my dog hates Peter.

"Get up!" Peter slams the bathroom door and steps back. He opens it and then slams it again. He locks it. Tries to open it. It doesn't budge. He unlocks it, opens it and then slams it again. What is he doing? He drags one of the large mirrors across the floor and makes sure that it hides the door. "Hurry!" he yells at me.

I stand and look back. My dog is gone. I drag my bedding to the bed, yawning. I'm too tired to ask what's going on, so I sit next to Michele on the bed. She clings to me, crying.

"You can't! Not again!" Celeste moans. "How can you keep doing this to me?"

"To you?" Peter practically runs from the room and returns with the leash. I wake right up then. "Shut up! I have no time!" Peter snaps the leash on my collar and ties both my hands before me. I look to Michele. Her eyes are looking down and she looks more than a little scared. Something is terribly wrong. Peter pulls and handkerchief from his pocket and ties it around my head, gagging me. My dog snarls! He's back! My dog barks angrily at me. Peter snatches up his cane and swings it madly at the iron bars. My dog looks at me one last time and then runs for the woods.

"Stupid animals! Damn forest is full of spies!"

Peter drags me to the bathroom, shoves me in, turns out the lights and slams the door. I fall to my knees and peer under the door. He pulls the mirror in front of the door and is confronted by Celeste and Michele.

"She's like my child!" Celeste cries.

"She's not! You have no children!" Peter snaps. "I can't let them take Shyane. Michele will have to do!"

55

Take? I peer under the door watching the feet move about. Who is taking who? And where? The cold tile floor is more than a little uncomfortable, but I can't tear my eyes away. Michele and Celeste are begging now. Crying and begging. Wailing! What is going on that has them so terrified?

"She's going! If I could pass you off, I would!" Peter yells to the crying women. "Shut up!" Both women muffle their sobs. "Not a word! Not a word or  
I'll wear the hide off both of you!"

They are all silent and I hear the banging on the door. No one moves. Someone is banging on a door. I lay on the tile floor waiting to see who has come to visit. I know it has to do with me or Peter wouldn't be so frantic to hide me. I wonder if I should make myself known. Maybe they'll rescue me? Hope fills my heart.

The next sound I hear is a mighty crash as a door is kicked in. No, this is not a rescue. This is an attack. Peter backs away from the door. I watch three sets of shoes walk into the room. Men's shoes. Celeste moves closer to Michele, who is sobbing now.

"Please!" Celeste moans hugging Michele to her. I have never seen Celeste so emotional. It frightens me.

"This is it?" One voice asked coldly as he moves closer to Michele. "She's not very pretty." The other two men walk to Peter.

"She's all I have. Her and the older one." There is panic in Peter's voice. "I thought you'd like the younger..,"

"I think you're lying!" another voice accuses.

"No!" Peter cries. "Look! I lost! You can take her. I said you could take her!" Celeste and Michele both begin to wail.

"I can smell her!" a low voice hisses.

I gasp in my gag because the next thing I see is the nose of a dog poking under the door. It's not my dog, but a big black muzzle of snarling teeth. I jump back. The dog snorts and barks. I sit back as the mirror is shoved out of the way and the door is flung open, tearing the doorjamb away, lock and all. I expect a dog and find a feral looking man smiling at me.

"No! Stop!" Peter yells and tries to run to me. I watch as he is thrown into the mirrors. Several shatter. The leash is snatched up and I'm dragged from the bathroom.

"Now this is more like it!" I sit up and find a man leaning down to gaze at me. His skin is pale, his teeth long and his smile evil. He breathes deeply. "Oh! Yes! She smells delicious!"

"Lovely little tidbit!" The second man is grinning at me.

I know now how dinner feels. These men are not men, they're vampires. And they want blood. Mine. Michele and Celeste look as terrified as I feel. The third man is looking at me in such a way that I want to crawl back into the bathroom. He walks over to me and then around me.

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"Gather her things!" The vampire's talking to Michele and Celeste. "Bring them here!"

Celeste scurries from the room. Michele hurriedly moves about the room grabbing my pointe shoes and other little gifts that Peter has given me. She is dropping them in an empty pillowcase. I wonder what things? Peter took all of my possessions when I arrived. Peter is picking himself up as I'm jerked to my feet. Since my hands are tied to the leash that's attached to the collar, I feel like a puppet.

"Leave her! Please!" Peter stumbles towards me. "Malcolm! You don't understand! I love her!" Michele gasps and drops my things. She acts as if it's a secret. I can tell she's devastated by the declaration because she kicks the pillowcase across the room.

"You should have thought about it before you lost her to me." The vampire Malcolm replies as he lifts my chin so that he can see my face.

"Malcolm!" Peter rushes forward and is sideswiped by one of Malcolm's associates. The feral looking one. Peter falls to the floor. The other vampire kicks him viciously.

"Stop!" Michele dives onto Peter, shielding him with her own body. She receives a swift kick for her efforts.

"Stop!" I whisper through the gag, looking up at Malcolm. His eyes are a piercing black. They look evil. Soft and evil. He's enjoying this too much. They all are. The energy in the room is strong. "Please?" I beg. Malcolm's eyes soften.

"Kai!" Malcolm barks and the assault on Peter stops.

"Don't get up." Kai warns. Peter coils up under Michele's body. "Stewart! Kai! Gather her things and let's go," Malcolm orders. I take in the scene. Celeste is in the doorway holding my coat, suitcase and backpack. Her eyes are on Michele. Peter is of no real concern to the older woman. Michele is like her child and like any mother, Celeste is worried. She drops my things and runs to help Michele, putting herself between the vampires, her child and Peter. Malcolm unties the gag and gently removes it from my mouth. I'm shocked at how gentle he is. Next he unties my hands, but holds the leash in his hand. I rub my wrists. I look to the window and my dog is gone. They're taking me and I want my dog. No, they're going to kill me. I don't want them to hurt my dog.

"Come along," Malcolm sets my coat on my shoulders and guides me out the door.

"Don't take her!" Peter wails. "I'll make good on my debt!"

"Too late." Malcolm replies, flippantly. Peter sobs loudly.

Malcolm guides me out the door I have been forbidden to exit for almost nine months. I feel reborn as I breathe the night air. Nine months to discover that I'm now somebody else. And that someone will not see the next day. I'm

57

being taken to my death. I feel my heart sink. I want my dog.

"She's pretty," Kai remarks as he climbs into the backseat of the large car with me and Malcolm. Stewart is driving. "Pretty and young. I bet she's as sweet…"

"Stop!" Malcolm orders as he settles back next to me.

"We going to have a midnight snack?" Kai doesn't stop. He's having fun teasing me. Terrorizing me. He's good at it.

"We are not." There is warning in Malcolm's voice. I scoot up against the door, trying to make myself as small as possible, and wait for what's coming.

"What are we planning, then?" Kai asks, leaning forward in the seat to sniff at me, gnashing his teeth at me. I cringe.

"We?" The animosity is thick in the car.

"Malcolm, you know you want to taste that!" Kai laughs at me. I try to hide behind Malcolm.

"She's worth more undamaged." Malcolm sits back, looking at me. "A lot more."

"You smell it! You know what she is!" Kai is drooling, "That blood is priceless."

I blush and look down. My hands are knotted around the leash that's still connected to my collar. They mean because I'm a virgin. I'm still not yet a woman. I'm between woman and child and my blood is beyond value to them. And it's very tempting for the vampires that have me in their presence. My heart is racing and I feel my lungs expanding quickly. I want to scream but decide to bite my tongue instead.

"I can hear your heart beating," Kai smiles coldly at me as his tongue skirts across his teeth, "pumping that lovely blood through your veins." I gulp.

"Leave her alone," Malcolm orders, "you scare her to death and she'll be no good to anyone."

"I want a taste of that pretty blood," Kai hisses.

"Leave her alone!" Malcolm warns again.

"Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty," Kai sings, lowly.

"KAI!" Malcolm snaps.

"Tasteeeee!" Kai hisses and I gulp again.

"Kai, stop now or I'll throw you out of the damn car!" Malcolm snarls and I hug my knees to my chest, hoping to still my heart.

"You're planning on keeping her for yourself!" Kai hoots and reaches forward to smack Stewart on the shoulder. "Selfish bastard! I knew you were up to something!"

"Shut up!" Malcolm sits back and stares straight ahead for the rest of the ride. I hide within myself, praying.

58

The car comes to a smooth stop. I wake and look about. Malcolm is looking down at me with an unreadable face. I stretch my legs out and wince. I have no idea how long I've been sitting this way. My body protest, loudly as Malcolm tugs at my leash. He steps out of car. I follow, limping. Kai is right behind me, sniffing at my hair.

"Tasty, tasty…"

"Kai, get her things and bring them in," Malcolm orders. "You and Stewart."

"Now we're servants? Her servants?"

"Just do it!" Malcolm tugs at my leash for me to follow. I do.

The house is huge. Inside I find that it's more like a museum than a home. Boxes and furniture crowd the rooms. We shuffle through the entry way and into a room that is nowhere near empty but not as packed as the rest of the rooms. Malcolm sits down in a chair and tugs at the leash.

"Sit!" Malcolm tugs hard at the leash and I'm on my knees next to the chair. He reaches out to pet the top of my head. "Just stay right here with me."

I'm cold. I hug my coat around me and my knees to my chest. I only have on ballet slippers. I forgot my socks. My bare legs are cold. I rug them vigorously to get the blood flowing and stop the cramps. Kai and Stewart come in, dropping my things to the floor. Kai has a funny look on his face. Stewart sits down in a chair across from us.

"You got a buyer for her? Had a feeler out for her didn't you? Someone with specific tastes?" Kai walks around us. I feel the rising tension from Malcolm. "We want a cut!"

"I think not." Malcolm replies, still petting my head. I notice that his grip on the leash tightens. I hear the leather squeak. "This was a favor owed."

"You owe us!" Kai yells.

"You work for me." Malcolm is calm. I'm not.

"Just a taste," Stewart, who has been quiet, now speaks up. I look up to see his gaze is fixed on me. It's frightening. "To test the vintage?" I gulp.

"No." Malcolm shifts a bit in his seat. As if readying himself to spring. "It's time for the two of to you go. Your services are no longer required. At least not for tonight."

"You did fix this!" Stewart laughs. "We had to be the other players in that game for you to win. We had to be the lures for the patsy. You knew he had her."

"I suspected. It doesn't matter. The little dancer is mine. I won." Malcolm leans forward. "And for your information, I won that game fair and square. The only advantage I had was that Peter can't bluff and has no play."

Stewart leaps forward snarling. Malcolm is up and moving. The chair Malcolm was sitting in flies back and knocks me into a table. Everything on the table comes crashing down on me. I curl my body into a ball and fold my arms

59

over my head to protect it. Before I can get my bearings, Kai is dragging me to my feet. My hand closes over a candlestick.

"Pretty!" Kai's teeth are right in my face. "Tasty!"

I swing the candlestick with all my might and connect with his skull. He drops me, but not my leash. For an instant I'm hanging from the leash, my feet inches from the floor. Malcolm is suddenly there, swinging at Kai. I hit the floor and my candlestick goes flying.

Stewart drags me to my feet. His hand sends me flying into the wall. I don't even have time to react as my head snaps back and there's an explosion of light and pain. I feel as if I'm flying. Then crashing. I moan as I'm pulled up.

Stewart is holding me before him. His eyes are wild and his mouth opens. I gasp as his mouth is coming at me. I scream and his mouth covers mine, kissing me. He suckles my bleeding lower lip. I try to wrench away, but Stewart won't release me. I can taste the blood on his tongue.

"Get off her!" Malcolm is there, jerking Stewart off me and letting me fall to the floor. Kai is clawing to get to me. Malcolm is trying to stop him.

"Tasty bitch!" Stewart almost sings in a dreamy voice.

"I want her!" Kai yells.

I crawl backwards, away from them. I wipe the back of my hand across my mouth, trying to stop the bleeding and to wash away the sickening kiss. Malcolm is not able to keep them away. The vampires are crazed and he isn't strong enough. He could take on one of them, but two? No, I'm dinner for sure. Malcolm looks back at me with panic in his eyes.

"Run little dancer!" Malcolm yells at me.

I stand and stumble towards the door, kicking the candlestick. Where am I going to hide? What am I going to do? The place is dark and I'll be hunted. Malcolm is my only hope. I pick up the candlestick and turn to swing it down on Stewart's head. Malcolm looks at me in shock. He shoots me a smile as he strikes Kai.

Stewart falls to the floor. I swing again and connect with his shoulder. It's not silver, but the candlestick is heavy and serving my purpose. I pull back to strike again, but Stewart is up and charging at me. It's then that I think this was a bad idea and I should have run. Stewart's teeth are coming at me. That's all I see, those long fangs and gnashing teeth. I can't even scream. I squeak.

The crashing of glass is muted by the yells of Malcolm and Kai fighting. I feel the cool air and look up to see a blur strike Stewart's torso and send him flying back. I end up on the floor, stunned. Once again, I lost my candlestick. My hands are reaching blindly for it. I hear snarling, barking and yelling as I crawl under a table and curl my aching body into a ball.

The noise is now in a tunnel. Muffled. I can't make it out. My head aches and I'm lost, stunned and confused. I know I'm going to die. I now wish they would just hurry up and get it over with. The room is spinning and I can't stop it.

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My hand finds the candlestick. I hug it to my chest and close my eyes.

There's more noise, cursing, yelling, barking, growling and then a cold nose is in my face. Someone is licking me. I wince and try to turn my head away. The licking is persistent and it's now accompanied by a whimpering. I think it's me whimpering at first. No, it's not me. I open my eyes. My dog is there. I hug him weakly and he curls up next to me.

"You look rather comfortable there." Malcolm is kneeling down next to us. He looks rather beat up, but is smiling.

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

"For what?" He reaches down to drag me out from under the table. "I haven't had that much fun in a long time."

"Really?" I cling to his arm as he hoists me up. I stand shakily and look around. Kai gives me a dirty look as he limps from the room. Stewart is muttering, mostly curse words, as he removes his torn jacket.

"Friend of yours?" Stewart snarls at me and my dog. "Acts like I'm going to drain you! I just wanted a taste!" I duck my head into Malcolm's chest.

"You never did understand 'no', Stewart." Malcolm sets me in a chair. "And now you've damaged her."

"What's so special about this little dancer?" Kai asks, limping back in, drinking liquor straight from the bottle.

"Trust me when I say you don't want to know." Malcolm kneels down to wipe my bloody lip with a cloth. "Are you badly hurt?" I shake my head which makes the room begin to spin again. "I think you are little dancer. Kai, give me some of that."

"Hang on," Kai walks over to the overturned table and picks up a glass from the floor. One of the few that hasn't been shattered. He pours a bit of liquor into it, swishes it about and then pours it on the floor. I give him a confused look. "In case any broken glass is in it." He pours more into the glass and hands it to Malcolm.

"Yeah, you need to keep your distance." Malcolm warns.

"You already kicked my ass!" Kai falls into a chair.

"What are big brothers for?" Malcolm replies, holding the glass to my lips. I shake my head. "What?" Malcolm asks, sniffing the liquor. "It's brandy."

"I'm too young to drink," I whisper.

"Wow! She's definitely from the otherworld!" Stewart mumbles reaching from the bottle. "That may explain it."

"Explain what?" Kai asks.

"She's beyond what I expected."

"Rules don't apply here little dancer, especially for you." Malcolm ignores them and pushes the glass to my lips and tilts it. I swallow and cough. That burns! "All of it, slowly." I take the glass and nod. My hand is shaking, but I think I can handle drinking.

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"A human from the otherworld. How the hell did Peter get his hands on her? He kidnap her? That's forbidden!" Kai sits down on the floor stretching his jaw to and fro with his fangs flashing. "I think I dented my fang!"

"Shouldn't piss me off!" Malcolm leans down to check out his brother's fang. "Don't be such a baby. If it falls out just put it under your pillow and see what the tooth fairy brings."

"Hopefully his fat ass. The last one was tasty!" Kai laughs. I know my eyes are huge.

"He's kidding," Stewart mumbles. I take another drink.

"Are all three of you brothers?" I ask in a hoarse voice.

"They are," Stewart replies, "I'm a cousin."

"Why am I here?" I ask, handing the empty glass to Malcolm.

The alcohol seems to have made me brave. I look at the vampires and forget the fangs. I simply regard them as if they were my nephews after one of their brawls. Bradley's boys were always fighting and I was the one who would get them to talk, shake hands and clean up the mess. Boys! Human or not, testosterone is a bad thing

"Well," Malcolm takes the glass and fills it with more brandy before taking a long sip. "we were sent to collect you, little dancer. At least, that was the plan."

"Would have been nice to let us in on it," Kai grumbles.

"You can't keep your mouth shut." Malcolm replies, "This is hush hush."

"By who?" I ask. Dog begins to whimper.

"Couldn't just stay out of it, could you?" Malcolm nods his head towards the broken window. Dog bobs his head and with a running start leaps out and disappears into the night.

"Dog!" I call in panic.

"He's always about." Stewart hands the bottle to Kai.

"You know, you look like hell." Malcolm reaches out to unfasten the leash. "Lean forward little dancer and hold your hair up."

I do as I'm told and he unfastens the collar. The feeling of my neck being bare and free is too much. I pitch forward into the darkness and Malcolm's arms.

"Whoa!" I hear the voices, but can't seem to focus. "Better do something about that or we'll get our asses kicked royally!" Kai is saying as I feel the darkness spin.

"Give me a glass!" Malcolm orders. I'm set back in the chair and a glass is pushed into my hand. "Drink!" comes the order.

"I think the brandy is making me dizzy," I whisper.

"It's not brandy," Malcolm's voice is soft as the glass is lifted to my lips. It's warm and spicy. I instantly feel rejuvenated as my eyes spring open. The bright red liquid splashes in the glass.

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"What is it?" I cough and push the glass away.

"My blood." Malcolm gives me a sheepish smile. "It won't hurt you. In fact, you should feel pretty good right about now." He sets the glass on the floor. I do feel pretty good.

"Are we in a museum?" I look about the room at all the boxes.

"No," Malcolm sighs, "our family home."

"You live here?" I'm surprised that I can talk here. I'm not afraid of the vampires. I should be. They tried to eat me, but I fear them a lot less than I do Peter.

"Yeah," Kai stands and stretches. "We're black marketeers, so we keep a lot of our merchandise here."

"Black market?" I ask.

"We bring stuff from the otherworld here for people who used to live there. Immortals who like chocolate and such."

Stewart reaches into a box pulls a bag of M & M's out and toss it to me. I should be ashamed of myself, but I'm not as I tear open the bag and fill my mouth with the delicious candy. I smile at the vampires.

"And humans call us disgusting!" Kai teases, handing me his handkerchief. I wipe my drooling face.

"So you guys gamble, steal and sell stuff."

"We don't steal. We gamble to buy what we bring, sort of. I mean," Stewart looks at his cousins. "We don't steal or cheat, we just have fun. We just acquire things that are wanted."

"And I'm one of those things?" My hand goes to my now bare neck. I'm grateful for them getting me away from Peter, but I want to know why.

"Oh, you are one of the most valuable things I've ever had to locate little dancer." Malcolm chuckles. "I had no idea what you looked like until recently, and then no one had seen you, so I figured you were locked away. It just took a while to see who was acting like they had the golden ticket."

"Golden ticket?" I ask.

"Haven't you ever heard of Willie Wonka?" Stewart mumbles. He's getting nicer the drunker he gets.

"Yeah." I'm still confused.

"I just kept my eye open to who kept asking for things to win affection," Malcolm answers.

"Female affection," Kai clarifies.

"Peter kept asking for such things. Well, him and a few others. We just went one by one until we found you."

"It wasn't hard to figure it out. Peter ain't no Romeo, so we had an idea he was hiding someone." Kai yawns widely. I'm still amazed by his fangs.

"We just got lucky." Malcolm picks up a chair from the mess to sit with me. "He sucks at cards." Malcolm winks at me. "I don't."

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"I'm confused." I look about at my new friends.

"About? You ain't gay, are you?" Stewart asks, only half kidding.

"I don't think so," I reply honestly.

"Well, it doesn't matter to me." Kai walks from the room and returns with a broom. He begins to clean up all the glass.

"Do you know why Peter kept me hidden?" I start to climb from the chair to help clean.

"Nope!" Malcolm lifts me into his arms and carries me over to the now upright table and sets me down on it. "Too much glass and you could get damaged."

"Damaged?" I tease. Malcolm's eyes light on me and I see a ghost of a smile on his full lips. I blink, breaking the spell. Why am I flirting with the vampire that wanted to eat me?

"You know what I mean." Malcolm's hand gently caresses my cheek. He freezes when I smile at him again, tilting my face into his hand. He pulls his hand away as if I had burned him.

"What?" I ask.

"I … You could get hurt." Malcolm is now studying my face. "Little dancer, do you sing?" I nod. "Play music?" I nod. "Do people around you …" he pauses, "What's your name?"

"Shyane." I've only been with them for several hours and now he asks my name? I frown at him.

"And you're human?" I nod. Now it's Malcolm's turn to frown.

"What is it?" Kai asks, moving next to his brother.

"Touch her face." Malcolm moves and Kai's hand comes close. I flinch as he touches me.

"Wow!" Kai jumps back from me as if I burned him. "Shit!" He jumps away from me.

"What?" Stewart is next to come look at me.

"It can't be!" Kai hisses.

"What?" Stewart reaches to touch me. I flinch again. I don't trust them as much as I do Malcolm. "Told you."

"You tasted of her!" Malcolm accuses.

"Yeah, it was damn good, but I didn't notice this!" Stewart is rubbing his lips now. "I figured I was just drunk on her. I mean, it was intense, right up until she bashed my head in. She's not human!"

"I am!" I declare.

"When did you come here little dancer?" Malcolm asks.

"About nine months ago. On my birthday." I feel as if the three of them are closing in on me. "Peter let me stay with my family until then. Kind of a punishment."

"Punishment? For who?" Kai hops up on the table next to me.

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"My family," I huff. "First it was to be my mother, then my sister, Charlotte, and then my niece, Millie, but Peter chose me. My family thought he would take me the night I was born. He didn't. He let live with them. They knew I was to leave, they had to live with the guilt and know that I was going to save them."

"A pact?" Stewart asks. I nod. "A blood pact?" I nod again, remembering the scar in the palm of my grandfather's hand that he stroked when he was nervous.

"My grandfather asked for favor in return for his first born daughter. Something went wrong and my grandparents could only have one child, my mom. Then it fell to my mother, so it would have been Charlotte who was taken, but Mommy threw a fit and begged. Peter said he would come for Charlotte's first daughter." I bite my lower lip and wince. It still hurts. "Anyway, then Millie was born and my mom was pregnant and promised me in exchange for Millie."

"So your mother got pregnant on purpose? To offer you up to to Peter?" I nod to Malcolm as he questions me.

"He gave us thirteen years." I sigh again. I'm suddenly tired.

"No, he kept you a hell of a secret for thirteen years!" Malcolm muses as he looks me over.

"What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing!" Stewart laughs ruefully. "Not a damn thing."

"Could he really have kept this hidden?" Kai waves his hand at me as if I'm simply part of the table.

"He did. Smart move for him such a dumbass. No one would have ever known he had one." Malcolm concludes.

"One what?" I ask.

"Little dancer, did he touch you?" I blush and look down. "Are you…" Malcolm sighs. I stare down at my hand. I see the scratches on the back of it. I must have crawled through some glass. "Sexually?" I knew that was coming.

"Did he fuck you?" Kai is less diplomatic. I shake my head.

"But he touched you?" Malcolm lifts my chin so that I'm looking at him. I nod ever so slightly. His face curls up in disgust. I wrench away and look away. I hate that he looks at me this way.

"Let's go back and rip his throat out," Stewart suggests, as if offering to go to the store for milk.

"He just kissed me and..," I look up to see all of them looking at me with pity filled eyes. My voice wavers. Malcolm's hand settles on my knee. I look down again. "I wouldn't sleep with him so he kept me locked in that room. He came at night. Drunk."

"I'm with Stewart." Kai sounds enraged.

"He said I was bred to be his." I gulp back sobs that I feel rising. It feels

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good to talk about it. To tell someone what has been done to me.

"And you refused?" Malcolm asks. I nod.

"He put that thing on me and locked me in that room." I hear the catch in my voice. "He hit me with the leash part of it. It hurt. I was ready to give in when you guys showed up."

"I'm ready to go kick his ass and drain him." Kai sets the bottle down and jumps down from the table.

"Let's go!" Stewart and he head for the door.

"Let it go." Malcolm orders. Both stop. "You're drunk. Let it go. She'll be safe soon. So don't do anything to endanger her escape."

Escape. The word sounds sweet to my ears. I sit watching the vampires with tears trickling down my face. I was tired of crying. I wipe the back of my hand across my face and sniffle. Stewart frowns and steps forward to hand me his handkerchief. I take it and begin to sob.

"No wonder he wanted to keep her so badly." Kai drinks from the brandy bottle again. "She's fucking enchanting! He'll come for her. We need her gone from here."

"She won't be here." Malcolm reaches out again to stroke my cheek. I don't flinch. In fact, I lock my eyes on his. "Yeah, I can sure see it and feel it."

"Feel what?" My voice is soft and seductive as I speak. That shocks me. I sound older and alluring.

"Unbelievable!" Kai looks astonished. Stewart is wary.

"Let me try something." Malcolm reaches out to pull me into his arms.

I relax and wait patiently in the vampire's arm. Malcolm's eyes are locked on mine. He moves closer and kisses me lightly, then moves to kiss me more passionately. I respond instantly. His arms pull my body flush with his and my arms go around his neck.

"No!" Kai and Stewart pull us apart. "Don't do that!" Kai orders.

"What?" I ask breathlessly.

"Possess him!" Stewart lifts me out of Malcolm's arms and sets me on the table as if I were a dirty diaper.

"Huh?" I look at the trio.

"You got no idea, do you?" Kai sees that I'm confused. Malcolm staggers away, holding his head and panting.

"It can't be. There hasn't been one in centuries!" Stewart says in a low voice. "It just can't be."

"Here she is!" Malcolm points out rubbing his forehead. "That was fucking intense!"

"What are you guys talking about?" I'm tired of them talking around me.

"You're human? Your mother and father are human? You said you have siblings. Are they normal? By human standards?"

"I'm not normal?" My eyes dart from one confused vampire to the next.

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These are vampires, creatures of the night, and they're afraid of me. "What's wrong with me?"

"It's not that. Nothing's wrong with you1" Malcolm shakes his head as if to clear it. "It's just.., Shyane, you ain't human." I gulp. My face must look panicked because he takes my hand in his. "You're a muse."

"I'm glad I make you laugh," I growl, pulling my hand from his.

"Not amuse, a muse," Kai laughs dryly.

"What is that?" I'm really not sure I want to know.

"A goddess." Malcolm tucks my hair behind my ear. His finger linger a moment too long and I gasp at his touch. He closes his eyes as I turn my face and kiss his hand. "Don't!" he backs away from me, wiping his hand on his pants as if my kiss was burning.

"You're magical." Stewart spits it out. "More than magical. You're what magic is to humans."

"Huh?" I'm really confused now.

"You inspire music, literature, dance, poetry… basically all the arts. Each great artist has had one; Da Vinci, Mozart, Elvis, McCartney…" Kai explains watching his brother begin to pace. "You inspire. Your presence is …Magical."

"Oh!" I still don't get it and my face must show this.

"You have an adverse effect on men," Stewart adds, from safely across the room. "They can't ignore you or reject you. You tempt men."

"Do I?" I whisper to Malcolm.

"You do." He steps away from me. "You can't be human. You just can't.  
There has to be something there. Something in your family tree. Some ancestor who crossed over."

"Crossed over?" I repeat this as a question because I don't know what he means by 'crossed over.'

"You may be a changeling or..," Malcolm picks up the bottle of brandy and drains it. "You're dangerous."

"I am?" I feel the tears filling my eyes and my lower lip begin to quiver. It's almost as bad as if they had just said I was ugly.

"NO! Don't do that!" Malcolm now looks panicked.

"GO! Go find who we got her for and get her the hell out of here!" Kai shoves his brother for the door. "We'll keep her safe. Hurry!" Malcolm stumbles out the door.

I wrap my arms around myself. I'm suddenly cold. My heart is heavy again. It's as if Malcolm's sudden departure has drained me. It was his blood I drank that made me feel better and now that he's gone I feel an emptiness in my chest. I hug my knees.

"Come on down from there." Kai lifts me into his arms.

I wrap my arms around his neck and lay my head on his shoulder. He steps over the wreckage in the room and carries me to a sofa in the corner.

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Stewart brings a blanket over to cover me with as Kai sets me down. I yawn widely.

"Rest," Kai orders, tucking the blanket around me.

"Why were you fighting each other?" I ask sleepily.

"We do that all the time," Kai giggles like a small boy.

"We didn't mean to hurt you." Stewart actually looks ashamed of what he did to me. No, he looks frightened. Frightened of me. "We just get carried away. You know how it is. All the adrenaline and testosterone got the best of us."

"I have nephews and brothers." I yawn again.

"Well, sorry." Stewart frowns.

"How can I be a muse if I'm human?" I ask.

"You ain't all human." Kai decides. "Part of you has to be from this world."

"Which part?" I ask stupidly.

"I mean like one of your parents." Kai laughs.

"No, Mommy and Daddy are human." I watch as Kai shoots a look at Stewart. Stewart shakes his head at his cousin.

"Okay, kid." Kai agrees. "We probably got it wrong. We ain't nothing but a bunch of misfits anyway."

"Yeah," Stewart adds, "Black marketeers and ruffians."

"How did you know?" I ask snuggling into the sofa.

"Know what?" Kai is sweeping again.

"That I was the right girl you wanted?" I watch as Stewart pulls something out of his pocket. He looks at it, then me. He leans in to let Kai look at it. Kai gazes at it and then at me.

"It's you." Stewart hands me the item.

It's a picture. A picture of me! I sit up to study it. It's a picture of me sitting on the fence at home holding my baseball glove and smiling. Daddy took this picture. My Daddy!

"Where did you get this picture?" I almost scream.

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The

Ward

I'm in shock. At least, that's what Malcolm tells the man who kneels down to look at me. I wake slowly to see he has kind eyes and a gentle face. I don't trust him. I have a funny feeling in my stomach. I close my eyes and pretend to be sleeping. His hand strokes my cheek.

"She's been injured," the voice points out.

"We got into a fight and she dove in," Malcolm explains. "She ain't shy, no matter what her name is."

"We didn't do all that damage," Kai adds. "Peter had her trussed up like a package."

"Damn him!" the man curses.

"Cruz..," Malcolm is now whispering, "did you know?"

"No, it can't be possible. You must be mistaken. It can't be!"

Cruz? Who is Cruz?

"Have you seen her eyes?" Malcolm persists. "They're like..," I squeeze my eyes tighter.

"No!" Now Cruz sounds angry. "You are mistaken."

"She'll be safe with you?" Malcolm asks suddenly.

"Yes!" Cruz sounds angered by the implication.

"You better be. Peter wasn't...kind to her." Malcolm's voice is cold. "If I had known, I would have killed him." I begin to tremble.

"She's mine now. Fair and square. No one can dispute my claim and you are my witnesses. No one can take her from me." Cruz sounds cold and cruel. "I'll kill anyone that tries."

"Does that include her family?" Kai asks. I open my eyes and see the back of Cruz's head as he stands to face the vampires. All three of the black marketeers take a step back from him.

"There is no family!" Cruz practically snarls. "I never want to hear of them again!"

"Cruz..," Malcolm's voice is calm, "she's known them. She's..,"

"They gave her to that animal. Even after they had her for all those years! She is dead to them! And they are dead to her!"

"Fine," Malcolm concedes. "We're square. Take care of her." I hear a sort of longing in Malcolm's voice.

"Load her things in my car." Cruz orders coldly. "Please." His voice is softer.

I hear shuffling in the room and then I'm floating again. Cruz has lifted me into his arms and is carrying me away from my three rescuers. The vampires are big, unconventional, crazy and childish, but they were never boring, and I wasn't uncomfortable with them. I am with Cruz.

My heart is racing as he carries me out the door. I have no idea what he wants with me or why he wants me. I also have no idea how he got a picture of me. I'm afraid to ask. The unknown has always frightened me. I'm set in a

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warm vehicle and I curl up with my eyes tightly closed.

I wake in a bed. A real bed. A nice big bed. With clean sheets! My head is on a fluffy pillow! I sit up and look around. The bedroom is very nice. It's just beginning to get light. I stumble from the bed and to the window. No bars. I open the window and look out. The sky is blue. Weird. In the past nine months it has never been blue. It's nice. I lean on the windowsill and breathe in the outdoors. I look down. I'm up pretty high and don't think I can climb out. No need for bars to keep me in.

I look about and wonder if I can use something as a rope. I could climb out that way. I see my things. My backpack! I sit on the floor and open it. My glove is the first thing I see. I take it out and hug it. Sniffing the leather. It reminds me of home. Of Daddy. I pull out my little photo album that has pictures of my family. I flip through it and cry. I'm dead to them.

I hear the house coming to life. I stuff everything back into my back pack and stand. I'm in need of a bathroom. I limp over to open a door and find that I'm in a hallway. The door was not locked! I look across and see a large open room. It looks like a living room. I walk to the railing and see the stairs. Down. There is no guard. I step back into the room and open another door. It's a closet. A big empty closet. I shut the door. I try for door number three and it's a large full bathroom! I shut the bathroom door behind me and sigh in relief. A bathroom with a door! Privacy!

There is a full mirror over the sink. I look terrible. I have a busted lip, a bruise on my cheek, and there are bruises on my neck where the collar was. I rub my neck slowly. It feels bare, cool and wonderful. My hair is tangled and matted. I try to run my fingers through it and only manage to pull my hair.

My hands. I look down at them. They are dirty, my nails broken and bruised. There are little cuts on them. The glass. I was crawling around in it. I didn't dream it. It really happened. This isn't a nightmare that I've woken from. This is real. Crazy, insane, real and happening to me.

Someone is coming. I hear talking in the hall. I run from the bathroom and dive into bed. I flop down and burrow into the bedding closing my eyes tightly. The door opens and I know its Cruz and someone else.

"Poor lamb!" The whisper is a woman's. An older woman. A gentle hand strokes my head. "Was she soiled?" The woman asks in a hushed whisper.

"I don't think so. Her family is afraid for her. She was rescued, but the attacker is still at large. He could come for her at anytime if she were to return to them. They've asked me to care for her until its safe. Safe for her."

I listen to the lies and wonder why he's lying. He told the vampires that I was his. He had made that fact clear to them. Here, he's acting different. I have my body curled tightly into a ball and I refuse to move.

"She's terribly frightened Sir. Go on and leave us. Let me get her cleaned

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and settled. Mr. Carter is still waiting in your study. Take care of the paperwork and I'll take care of the little lamb."

"Thank you, Mrs. Potter."

I hear what sounds like a kiss and the woman giggles like a girl. The door opens and shuts. I hear humming and the water running in the bathroom. The woman is bustling about the room. I feel something on the bed and hear a zipper. Curiosity gets the best of me. I open my eyes and sit up slowly.

"Hello!" The woman is large, old and pleasant looking. She sort of reminds me of what a storybook grandmother would look like. "I'm Mrs. Potter and I'm here to take care of you, lamb."

I sit staring at her. I open my mouth, but I decide to shut it. I don't know this person and I don't know what lies have been told. It seems easier to just stare at her. She smiles at me in a sad way and continues to unpack my suitcase. My clothes are quickly put into drawers and hung in the closet.

"I'm filling the bath with hot bubbles. Do you think you can bathe yourself?" I nod quickly. "Good! You go take a bath. The shampoo, soap and other things you need are in there. She hands me my hairbrush. It occurs to me that I forgot my toothbrush at Peter's. I don't want it back.

I climb from the bed slowly and Mrs. Potter moves quickly. I jump as she hugs me to her large bosom. She rocks me in her arms and I hear a sob escape her lips. I let her hold me because I have no choice. She looks like she could take on all three of the vampires with one hand behind her back. And win.

"My poor, poor lamb!" she whispers and pushes me toward the bathroom. I shut the door and lean against it. What is going on?

I strip off the very dirty shift and realize that it was torn. I'm glad that I had my coat on. I kick it into the corner with my undergarments and climb into the huge round bathtub. It's like a small swimming pool. The water is delicious. There was only a shower at Peter's and the water was never hot, and with no door, it was always breezy in there. Here I have a door. I sit, letting the hot water sooth my aching body as the room steams up. It's like a sauna!

"Do you need help? Have you drowned?" Mrs. Potter knocks on the door. I begin to splash. She goes back to humming.

As long as she can hear me she's okay, and as long as I know where she is, I don't panic. This situation seems to work out for us. I feel as if I'm a small child and she's my babysitter. Something I've never had. I think about that. I was never left alone with anyone at any time in my life. I was always with at least one member of my family. I was always so small and fragile looking that overprotective doesn't even come close to describing how my family was with me.

Or were they? If something should have happened to me, Millie would have been taken. So, had my family loved me, or were they just caretakers?

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Was it love that made them so protective of me or the fact that if something happened to me that Millie would be here? Did they ever love me? My heart is heavy at the thought. My grandfather had been devastated. He had cut his hair. Was that love or guilt? I stare into the water and the dissipating bubbles, wondering. Tears fall into the water.

Maybe this Cruz was right. Maybe I should just accept the fact that I'm dead to them and they are dead to me. My heart is so heavy that I feel as if I can't sit up. I slide beneath the surface of the water, losing myself in the uncertain pain I feel. I had always felt special to my family. Now I feel as if I was nothing, just an end to a blood pact my grandfather had made with an evil Immortal for favor.

I am nothing. A nothing that Peter beat. A nothing Michele envied. A nothing that Celeste hated for taking favor from her child. A nothing that three vampires had rescued out of boredom. And now, a nothing that belongs to Cruz, whoever or whatever he is. A nothing. I am nothing.

"Lamb?" Mrs. Potter is at the door again.

I hear her from the depths of the water. I don't want to sit up. I don't want to go on. My lungs begin to ache. I feel myself rising and think for a split second I'm finally going to heaven only to have Mrs. Potter wipe the bubbles off my face.

"What in the world!" she screeches as she pulls me from the tub. I begin to cough as she wraps huge towel after towel over me. I'm set on the edge of the tub as she empties the water out. Once again, it's very dirty. It sit bundled up, coughing as she refills the tub and then deposits me in it. I'm handed a bar of soap and a washcloth.

"No more of that or you'll give me a heart attack!"

She sits on the edge of tub to watch me wash. It's unnerving. I finish washing only to have her wash my hair. I wince at the tugging and pulling as she scrubs me clean. Next is conditioner. I endure the same scrubbing and pulling. It just feels so good to be clean.

"Out!" She orders and once again I'm swaddled in fluffy towels. I'm hustled to the room and sat before the vanity. My hair is towel dried, brushed, blown dried and braided. I look ten. I frown. She has set out clothes for me, a simple dress, shoes and socks.

"Can you dress yourself?" She asks. I nod. "Then get dressed and come down for breakfast. Just follow your nose."

With that, I'm alone. Alone and the door is not locked. I get up and check it once she has left. It opens easily. I breathe so much easier as I get dressed.

The house is big. My room is actually on the third floor. In fact, my room takes up the whole third floor between the bedroom, closet, bath and living area. After I dress I walk about, getting up my nerve up to go downstairs. What

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if I get tackled? I stand at the top of the stairs, shaking, and decide if I don't walk down, I might fall down. I descend to the second floor and look about. I'm alone. There are a lot of doors. I'm tempted to look in them but decide escape is more important.

Down to the first floor. The entryway is large and the front door is massive. Is it locked? I step to it and turn the knob. It opens. I step out and feel the cool morning air encase me. I close my eyes and smile. I'm not locked in. I walk down the steps and the walk. There is no street. There is a huge front yard and beyond it a stone wall and large iron gate.

I bask in the morning sun and look up at it. Its yellow and the sky blue. Blue and clear. Where am I? There are no woods. There are trees, but I can see the stone wall behind them. Maybe the woods have something to do with the funny colored sky and sun or…

"Would you like a walk in the garden?" I jump and almost fall over from shock. "Careful!"

He is tall, handsome, older and has kind eyes. I know he is Cruz. I know that I belong to him. I look down at his hands that are holding me up. I step back and he releases me. I stand shakily looking up at him.

"Would you?" He motions to the path. I nod.

He smiles and I walk with him around the house. The garden extends quite far. The cobblestone path leads us to the back of the house and a koi pond. I follow as he walks across the small bridge that is over the large pond. I stop to look down at the colorful fish that swim about the lily pads. They seem content in their wonderful prison. Cruz comes back to stand next to me.

"We need to talk," his voice is low, next to my ear.

I begin to tremble at his extreme proximity to my person. He takes a step away and I calm. I'm gripping the railing of the bridge so tightly that my knuckles are white. He sighs and leans against the railing.

"My name is Bernardo Cruz. I ensured your rescue."

He looks at me, but I'm staring at a large goldfish that looks like it has teeth. What does Cruz feed these fish? Children? I gulp. He begins to pace behind me. I fix my eyes on the fish, wishing I was a fish so that I could swim away. With my luck, I would be caught and be on a dinner plate.

"As I said, we need to talk." He clears his throat. "I didn't know how to explain a young female child in my home, so I told a lie. Not a fib. A lie. I told my staff that you were the child of a friend who had been kidnapped. I told them that you had been rescued, but that your kidnapper was still at large." It really wasn't a lie.

"I do detest liars!" His voice is harsh, "But I had no choice. No one here would understand. I hope you will accept this. It's really easier here. Safer for you and me."

"Mrs. Potter is here to assist you. She'll help you with anything you need

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and with your studies. You'll start that in a couple of days. Homeschooling for now, until you're well enough, then we'll look into schools."

School? Me? Me back in school? I look up at him. He's looking down as he walks. My eyes follow him. He seems so familiar. He is very handsome, even when he frowns.

"Now, my lawyer is drawing up the custody papers. I've acquired your birth certificate and school documents," My eyes widen. He what? My birth certificate? "We've had to acquire some forged documents. And we had to forge some ourselves to ensure your safety. Hopefully, I don't go to prison over this." He looks up to smile at me. A nice smile.

"I need you to just keep my lies a secret. Too many questions could cause us the need to leave." He looks at me seriously. "And I like it here. Very much. I consider this my home." He looks up at the house. "To everyone else, I have devised a history." I cock my eyebrow at him. "I've entertained the idea that you are biological child." I know my jaw drops.

"I've acquired a DNA paternity test to prove it. The schools and officials will be under the assumption that I never knew of your existence and having discovered it, obtained custody of you. Can you live with this?"

I look down. By saying this, he is saying that my Mom was unfaithful to my Dad. My Mom loves my Dad. That's a big lie for me to swallow or agree to. Do I like it? No. Do I believe it? No. Can I live with it? Do I have a choice? No. I sigh and nod.

"Mrs. Ellis will be upset if we are late to meals. Come along. We can dine on the veranda."

We continue our walk. There are several buildings about the edge of the open areas. I wondered if he was planning on locking me in one. He holds his hand out to me. I gulp and knot my hands together behind my back. I follow slowly taking it all in. He drops his hand. I'm not yet ready to let him touch me.

"Meals. Mrs. Ellis is a wonderful cook. Tell her what you like and she'll prepare it for you. When you're hungry just go to the kitchen and she'll fix you a snack. I expect you at my table when I dine to ensure you aren't starving." He looks back at me and winks. I look away.

"Dr. Brooks will be here after breakfast. She's going to examine you." I stop walking. He does too and turns to face me. "She's a nice lady and she'll ensure that you are well. I also obtained copies of your medical records." I must look confused.

"I know where you came from. I know why you were with Peter and I know what he wanted with you. I know all of it and I can deal with that. I just want to ensure that you are well."

Deal with it? I'm sure glad he can deal with it. I still feel as if I'm living in the twilight zone.

"You and I are going to have to live together with this lie until I can get

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you settled in a proper school. Can you do that? Live with this lie?" I frown. "You're not a prisoner. You're my guest, but you have to remain with me. You have to obey my rules. The pact was in blood. You're mine, but Peter may still try to regain control of you." I know my eyes widen in fear. Cruz frown deepens. "Not to worry. We're safe, for now."

I look about and wonder where I could hide if I had to. What would be a good direction to run? The thought of returning to Peter makes me want to dive in the koi pond with the toothy fish.

"Trust. We need to trust each other. We have to live with this lie and to do so, you must trust me. Do you?"

Do I have a choice? I nod.

"I have told both my lawyer and the good doctor that you are in shock and have no real memory of the abuse. That you are very fragile and for them to treat you like a fine piece of china. I want you to understand that if you have any questions or concerns about anything, at anytime, I want you to know that you can come to me. I'll answer them as honestly as I can. It's just me and you who know the truth here." I nod again.

"Peter is of no concern, just yet, but we must be ready for any attempts at his retrieval of you. He doesn't know where you are, or who you are with, but we must believe that he can find you as I did. I know he'll try. There could be danger if he does." I gulp. "You must let me know if you see him or anyone suspicious about. No matter how slight the feeling, I need to know." I nod.

Cruz begins to pace again. I watch how he walks as if he were on a tightrope. This is difficult for him. I wonder why he does have me. I have many wonders about Cruz.

"Now, have you any questions?"

"What do I call you?"

"What are you comfortable calling me?" He stands looking down at me.

"Cruz."

"Then you may call me Cruz. Anything else?"

"How did you get my picture?" I ask in a low voice.

Cruz stands looking perplexed, as if he doesn't want to answer that question. He sighs and frowns again. I watch as he paces about. It's as if he's thinking of how to explain.

"I know your mother. She asked for me to rescue you." My mouth falls opens as I feel my heart leap. "She told me what had happened. I know her from her work. I'm also into the occult of sorts. I deal more with antiquities, but she knew I had the means to help and she gave me your picture."

"She knows you can't go back. It would be too dangerous. She'll be the first place they look. Whoever Peter sends. They'll look for you and put your family in danger. She knows that you will never be able to live there again." I stare at him. He reaches out to cup my chin and make me close my gapping

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mouth. "Understand that. If you try to contact them, it could put them in danger so no phone calls, or e mails, or letters. You must understand this."

"I'm back?" I ask.

"What?"

"You brought me back from hell?"

"It wasn't hell," he sighs, "It was just another world. Another dimension. Another…"

"It was hell." I clarify.

Cruz reaches out to set his hand on my shoulder and squeezes it gently. I stiffen at his touch. I'm still unsure of him. His eyes lock on mine. It's as if he's trying to read my mind. He pats my cheek tenderly and continues on. I follow.

"Can you tell me about your captor?" Dr. Brooks is a very pretty woman with compassionate eyes.

I'm sitting on the exam table that was brought in for her use. I'm wearing a cloth examination gown. I feel like running to the koi pond and jumping in. The examination was intrusive, humiliating and uncomfortable. Dr. Brooks seems very happy to announce to herself as she makes her notes that I'm still a virgin.

I could have told her that if she had asked. She's reading the faked police report and hospital reports of my rescue. I blush as she flips through the pages and pages of lies. Lies about me. It's very unsettling. I'm a basket of nerves. I'm not good at lying. So to avoid lying I simply keep my mouth shut. The doctor notes that it's a side effect of my ordeal and with therapy I should overcome it.

I know this because she left me alone for a few moments and I read through her notes. I quickly read through as much of the file as I could. Everything looks legitimate. I stop at the statement. The typed statement from my mother. My heart races as I read it. It's a simple statement that for my safety and best interest, I am to be placed in the custody of her colleague and my biological father. Colleague? Biological? The signature is my mothers. The last name is different. I have a new last name. Cruz. Shyane Cruz. My former last name has been crossed out. Erased. Just like my former life.

"You seem to have always been small. Petite?" I nod. "Were you starved while held captive?" I look away. I don't want to talk about it, so I just pretend I don't hear. "Shyane, you'll need to eat better and get plenty of rest."

I listen to the doctor sigh and continue to stare away from her. She continues with her notes and comes to me every so often to listen to my heart, examine my bruises or scars, with sad eyes. The pity is hurtful. I come from proud people and this is hard for me.

"You aren't sexually active, vaginally." I don't like the way she says this. "I think maybe it's a good idea to put you on birth control. Just for the time being."

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"But I don't need it," I protest.

"No, not for sex. Your menstrual cycle is irregular. This will help to regulate it. We'll revisit this on your next check-up." I frown, but keep my mouth shut. "Go ahead and get dressed." Dr. Brooks sighs once again. I slide off the table and quickly redress. There is a knock at the door. The doctor ensures that I'm dressed before she gets up to open the door. Cruz is there, looking concerned. I'm relieved.

"How is she?" Cruz asks almost instantly.

"Why don't you go get a snack?" Dr. Brooks says to me.

I duck out the door, but stop outside to eavesdrop. Cruz leans out to give a warning glare. I glare back. If I have to lie I think I should know what lies to tell. He moves to step back in the door but I boldly reach out and take hold of his hand and pull it to me. He sighs and leans against the doorframe, towards me.

"Well?" he asks.

"She's traumatized. There was no intercourse, but there was abuse. Aside from the obvious, I'm sure emotional. Something has left marks on her neck. She was bound there?"

"Yes." Cruz's hold on my hand tightens.

"What happened to the animal?" she hisses.

"He escaped. The authorities are still searching. She's able to identify him."

"Yes. I assumed so. She'll need rest, therapy and love."

"I can do that." Cruz says.

"Nardo," Dr. Brooks sounds unsure as to what she is about to say. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I had it checked. You've seen the paperwork."

"So you believe it?"

"I'm thrilled. If not, then I'd do the same. I can't just toss her out into the street!"

"There are many wonderful boarding schools that would be perfect. They can ensure her safety. Give her an education and…"

"Evelyn!" Cruz's voice has an edge to it.

"You're really going to do this? Stick around here and play daddy? You've never been one to stay in one place too long. A child needs stability. Especially this one. She needs a lot more than you can give her with your wild schedule. Let me do some checking and see if I can find a place for her."

"Evelyn, no." His hand holds mine. "She's staying with me. No matter what."

"What about Alexa and Mitch? I'm sure Cord could use a playmate." The doctor seemed to be intent on me leaving.

"Playmate?" Cruz laughs. He has a nice laugh. He throws his head back

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to laugh and winks at me. "Cord is too old for that."

"He's your favorite. I'm sure he'd enjoy her company. He'd do anything to help you out."

"Help me out? I don't need help. Evelyn, she stays. Are you staying for lunch?"

"No." The answer is cold.

"Leave the report and the files with Carter. He's in my study. I have some things to do."

Cruz backs out of the room, shutting the door. We stand looking at each other. He nods his head and we walk hand in hand out into the garden. I still feel unsure of him, but let him hold my hand. Once away from the house, I tug and he releases me.

We walk along in silence. He keeps looking at me. I'm afraid he's going to strike me. He knows I was tempted. He caught me staring at the phone on the kitchen wall after breakfast. I quickly stepped away from it, looking ashamed. He only walked past me, setting his hand momentarily on my head.

"I want to show you something," he says to me.

We walk to a large building that is off the veranda. It has a lot of windows. There appears to be no bars on the windows, but my stomach still clenches as we approach it. Even the doors are glass. He opens the door and holds it for me. I step in and take it in.

It's a studio. A dance studio. The walls are lined with windows on one side and mirrors from floor to high ceiling on the other. The only bars in the room are attached to the walls with mirrors so that I can do my exercises. The wooden floor gleams brightly as I walk in. It smells clean and fresh. There is a music system on the table and a piano in the corner. I walk about slowly.

"I understand you dance." Cruz walks along beside me. "This is yours. I will only enter when you invite me. I want you to consider this an extension of your room. This is to be your private area."

I walk around and get a feel for the room. It's very nice. Cruz is being very generous. I stare at the figure in the mirror and wonder who it is staring back at me. This person is pale, thin and shaky looking. The lies are hard to separate from who I am, who I'm supposed to be and who I was. Cruz steps up behind me.

"I'm sorry for all this. Once everything settles down it should be easier for you to exist." Exist? Is that all that I'm doing?

"This is Richard."

I turn and step behind Cruz.

The huge man takes up the entire doorway. He's big, dark and cold looking. It's in his eyes. He's not human. "He is here to protect you. He will not enter here, but he will be outside. Get used to seeing him around. This is not negotiable. You are very valuable to me. He is here to keep you safe." I nod.

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Richard nods and leaves the doorway, letting the sunshine flood in.

"I'll leave you here." Cruz steps away from me. "I have to talk to Carter. You can meet him at lunch. Don't be late. Mrs. Ellis will be upset. She seems to think that you need some fattening up."

I stare in the mirror and watch him walk to the house in the reflection. I'm alone. Alone and in an unlocked studio. I'm able to step out whenever I want. I'm overwhelmed. I sit down on the floor, pull my knees to my chest and cry. For the first time in a long time, I cry tears of relief and happiness.

I dance. The music fills the room. I have windows and doors open and the outside comes in to encase me. I see Cruz walking in the garden with Carter. Mr. Carter, his lawyer. They spend a lot of time together talking over business. I have no idea what business and I don't care. I have privacy and I can dance. So I dance.

The past few days have passed quickly. I wake, eat, go for a morning walk in the garden, go to my studio, dance, eat, dance and then dinner and bed. I have no time for anyone as I discover myself again. Cruz gives me time alone. And I have become acquainted with the other people on staff.

Mr. Carter is the lawyer; he is tall, lean, old looking and has cold blue eyes. I wonder if he's an Immortal. I see Richard pacing the yard. I call it casing the perimeter. He's head of security. He's always lurking around the garden when I'm in my studio. He has the hugest hands I have ever seen. I like him. He looks cold and heartless, but he winks at me and smiles. I get him to play catch with me in the evenings. He doesn't use a glove. But he's kind and patient with me and I'm glad he likes baseball.

Charlie is human. He's an older man whose only job is to keep the garden in bloom and he does a wonderful job of it. Each day I find a new bouquet of flowers in my studio. Maurice and Marsha are on the staff to help Mrs. Ellis and Mrs. Potter to run the home. They are a young couple who live in the little house at the edge of the property. Newly married, they are around the house and running errands but never really around me.

Quite by accident, I discover that Mrs. Ellis and Mrs. Potter are partners in life. Both widowed after years of marriage, they found happiness in each other in their strange situation. And they found lost love. Both are very affectionate to me. I have become the child of the home. I enjoy the attention. Something I've missed.

I'm no longer hidden away, but pushed out front and center. I talk very little. Cruz does most of the talking to me. We enjoy our meals and each other's company. Sometimes others join us. I'm introduced simply as Shyane, Cruz's ward. I smile politely and eat in silence. No one questions. No one thinks it strange. Their eyes skirt over me in both pity and something else. Their cool acceptance frightens me. What do they really think?

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Each night I climb the stairs to my room and fall into my bed to cry and pray. I'm haunted by nightmares. I wake screaming and fall into Cruz's waiting arms. Sometimes Mrs. Potter is there too. It's really the only time I let him touch me. At these times I cling to Cruz as if my life depends on it, because he's the one who rescued me. He's the one who keeps me safe.

I get tucked into bed and he sits waiting for me to fall back asleep. I wonder when he sleeps. Sometimes it's the middle of the night when I wake screaming and he comes running, still fully dressed. Once Dr. Brooks was there dressed very elegantly. She tried to check me over but I clung to Cruz and he shooed her from the room. I think they're dating and understand why she wanted me to be sent away. I don't like her very much.

My life has fallen into a casual existence. I'm happy. As happy as I can be. I'm unsure of my future, my existence and how I fit into Cruz's life. Everyone calls him Nardo or Dr. Cruz. I simply think of him as Cruz. But I am shocked to find he is a doctor. I later learn he's a doctor like my mother. He has a doctorate.

Some days I wander about in his study. It has shelves from floor to ceiling filled with books. I read as often as I can. At first it was difficult. It was almost as if I had forgotten how. I started with the classics and enjoy my quiet afternoons. My time alone. Cruz does not bother me too often when I invade his arena.

One afternoon I came across several books that are stuffed in a bottom shelf, almost hidden away. They are copies of my mother's books. With shaking fingers I look at the author's photo and run my finger over her face. Her smiling face. I miss her. I'm angry with her. She bore me for the specific reason to give me to Peter. To save Millie. To send me to endure hell. My hand goes to my now healed neck. The bruises and scrapes are gone, but I still feel the heaviness of the collar on my neck.

Tears blur my vision. I hug the book to my chest and sob. I look up and find Cruz looking down at me with a frown on his face. He looks at the books, at me and then leaves. The next day, I find the books have been removed. That hurts more than seeing them. I give up on reading and vacate the study. The next day Mrs. Potter is in my living room with school books.

I do well on the testing. I've forgotten less than I had thought. We work on my studies for three hours a day. The reading I do on my own and not in the study, but in the garden. I find a nice tree with roots that seem to climb from the soil. I snuggle into a crevice and enjoy the sun, quiet and solitude. I read about the adventures of other people. People who have lives.

There are times when I wonder if I will ever be able to see the world outside the stone walls. I long to leave and experience whatever there is beyond them. One day I get bold and walk along the property, following the wall. I know that Richard is close behind me as I crash through the brush and

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undergrowth. The wild vines seem to have taken over parts of the seven foot stone wall. At least my prison is decorated.

It was truly out of boredom that I find a tree that is overgrown and has many low hanging limbs. I don't even pay attention to where Richard is as I climb up into it and over the fence. Once I drop to the ground on the other side, I look up and frown. I realize that I won't be able to climb back over.

"What a climb!" I turn to find a girl standing behind me with braids, thick glasses and an armful of books. "I'd be too damn scared of falling off!" I stand staring at her. She's taller than me, but then, everyone is, and skinny. She's so skinny that her bones seem to be poking through her flesh. She smiles and her mouth is full of metal.

"Who are you?" she asks tilting her head at me.

I bite my lower lip and shrug. I don't know what to say. I've rehearsed it several times in my head, but what's in my head won't go to my mouth. I look about. How do I get back into my safe prison? Panic rises as I look back up at the stone wall.

"I'm Patsy Calhoun!" The girl takes my hand and shakes it wildly. "You need to get back in?" I suspect she feels the panic rising off of me. I nod.

"This way." My new friend tugs at my hand and we walk along the sidewalk. The sidewalk outside the stone walls.

I'm ecstatic. As we walk, Patsy tells me all about herself. She's the third of five children. She lives with her parents on the estate just south of Cruz's. She's fourteen and in the ninth grade. She has no friends because she's so smart and ugly. I jump when she says that. She asks how old I am and I hold up fingers until she guesses right. I think she thinks I'm lying because she looks me up and down.

Patsy is on her way home from school. She missed the bus because some older girls locked her in the bathroom. She hates them. She tells me she wants to blow up their lockers. She wants to do it when school is over so no one gets hurt but to make a mess. I nod. What else can I do?

She tells me that she's heard about me from her parents. She doesn't tell me what she's heard. I think she wants to question me but can't since I won't talk. I'm sure she's been warned to not ask, so we simply walk and I listen to her complain about how hard it is to be Patsy.

"Shyane!" I jump in fear. Cruz is running towards me with Richard close behind. I look about to run. The iron gates open and Cruz catches me in his arms, shakes me, pops me on my backside and then hugs me to him. "What were you thinking?" I look over at Richard, who looks relieved.

"I was just bringing her home," Patsy says as if she should be given a reward. "I think she was lost. She kinda fell off the fence. I don't think she's hurt though. Just lost."

"Thank you, Patsy." Cruz stands and smiles at the annoying girl. He tries

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to take my hand, but I pull away. He grips my wrist in an iron grip. "Come along, Shyane."

I wave back at Patsy with my free hand and stumble along after Cruz. I'm in trouble. The blow to my backside took me by surprise, but it also stung. I try to pull away but Cruz is unrelenting. He drags me to my studio. That was where I was supposed to be anyway. He practically shoves me in the door.

"What were you thinking?" Cruz hisses at me. I stand waiting for whatever punishment he's planned for me. I shrug. "Are you trying to give me a coronary?" I shake my head. "Then stop this insanity!" he yells and I see his eyes begin to glow a bloody red. I cringe.

He breathes deeply, trying to regain control. I decide to put distance between us. I walk over and sit at the piano. He paces and mumbles as I gently touch the keys. I begin playing a melody. Cruz comes to sit next to me. As he sits I find myself hitting the wrong keys. I gulp.

"Shyane," Cruz's voice is low. He sets his hand on my shoulder and I hit the wrong key. I'm shaking. "I know that you were hurt. I know this is all confusing for you, but I am only here to help you." I continue hitting the wrong keys. He moves his hand and I continue with my melody.

"You frightened me. I thought you had been taken. I was very upset and I'm very sorry if I overreacted by hitting you. Did I hurt you?" I shake my head. "Well, if you do that again I will blister your tail." I hit the wrong key again.

"Shyane, Patsy is not a bad child, she's just a boring child." I smile at him. "She talks a lot. I know you want freedom, friends and such, but you must give me time."

I play on. He looks at me and I feel his eyes studying me. I look over at him and away. He frightens me and I'm terrified of what he wants from me. I was always an obedient child. To my father. Cruz is not my father and I hate what he has implied about my father.

"You do know that I would never hurt you?" I shoot him a side glance. "Aside from spanking you when you scare me to death." He's joking. I continue playing. "I do wish you would trust me." He reaches out to move a stray strand of hair behind my ear and I hit the wrong key. "Okay, Shyane. I understand. No more climbing walls. Okay?" I nod. He stands to leave.

"Can I please have my mom's books back?" I ask suddenly.

"What?" he turns to look at me.

"I'd like my mother's books." I bite down on my lower lip.

"For the picture?" He asks in a choked voice. I nod. He sighs heavily and walks back to me. He sits next to me and frowns. "Shyane, you have to let go of that life. You know the dangers."

I stop playing and set my hands in my lap. I stare down at them. I feel sad and lost. I miss my family. I feel betrayed by them. Deserted by them. I want to see them and then again, I don't. But I can look at the picture of my

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mother and wonder. The photos I have in my album are all of happier times. The picture on the book jackets is of someone I don't know. A woman who wrote a book. I feel detached from her when I see that picture.

"I won't give the books to you." He finally says. I frown. "Shyane, you have to let this go. It's for the best. Promise me you won't try and contact them." I nod. My eyes blur and the tears fall. He pats my shoulder and leaves me. I lay my head on the piano keys and cry.

"I'd like to talk to you." I roll my eyes. I hate when Cruz starts a conversation off this way.

I'm brushing my hair and getting ready for bed when he knocks and steps into my room. I never really shut my bedroom door. I dress in the closet or bathroom. I leave the door open so when I scream Cruz can hear me. Now he stands with a leather leash in his hand. I drop my brush and back frantically into a wall.

"Shyane?" He takes a step forward and I begin to sob. "What in the world..?" My eyes are fixed on the leash. He looks down at it and then flings it away. "No! Shyane! No!" He rushes forward to hold me. I cry hysterically.

"I guess I should have been more sensitive." He kisses the top of my head. "That is not for you. Well it is, but not how you think." He lifts me into his arms and carries me to the bed. "You'll need it for him." Cruz whistles and my dog runs into the room.

My dog! I am attacked with kisses and fur. He's been bathed and brushed. I kiss him, hug him and laugh through the tears. My dog! I have missed him so. He is very happy to see me. He jumps on the bed and barks. Cruz stands laughing at us. I jump up on the bed and throw myself into his arms. My dog barks happily.

"Thank you!" I hug Cruz. He holds me.

"I thought you needed a roommate. He can stay here with you at night. It might ease up on the nightmares." Cruz continues to explain but I jump back in the bed with my dog.

"What should we name you?" I ask kissing my dog.

"He has a name." Cruz says. I look at the silver chain collar and see that the sterling silver medallion is inscribed with the name Sebastian.

"Who named him?" I ask.

"I don't know. His parents?" Cruz laughs. "He's been a beast to locate. I thought he would come with you and Malcolm but he was just too spazzed up. It took him a while to run it all off."

"You knew him before this?"

"Of course. I sent him to look for you. He's an old friend of mine. Once he found you, we had to get Malcolm and his crew to get you out."

"So he's yours?"

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"He's his own. Sebastian has no owner. He's my friend. And yours. He's agreed to stay with you." Cruz picks up the leash. "You'll need this when you take him outside the fence. I don't need him being picked up by animal control."

"Outside the fence?" I ask in a hushed voice.

"Well, Patsy's mother called and asked if you could spend time with Patsy. I said yes. But if you leave the gates, take Sebastian with you. Richard will follow, but I'd feel better if Sebastian were with you."

"So I can go out?"

"Not alone," Cruz warns.

"Thank you." I smile at him.

"I trust you'll use common sense when you conduct yourself outside these walls."

"I'll behave." I promise, hugging Sebastian.

"I was actually talking to Sebastian, Shy." Cruz winks at me and leaves me with my new roommate.

"Like you could get into trouble!" I kiss Sebastian's nose.

I spend the night without a nightmare, curled up with my dog. I dream pleasant dreams. No nightmares. A pleasant first.

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The

Gifted

"Now?" I hear Cruz yell as I enter the house for dinner. And I freeze in the kitchen doorway. Mrs. Potter and Mrs. Ellis are both frozen in place too. I hear Mr. Carter and Cruz talking in raised voices. "The timing can't be worse!" Cruz yells. Sebastian trots past us to investigate.

"Go. You can leave the child with Mrs. Potter." Mr. Carter's voice is loud, but calm. "It's not the end of the world. It's puppy love. The boy is just being foolish!"

"No. She'll travel with me." I hear the voices as the men come to the kitchen. The door flies open and Cruz looks first at me and then at the women. Sebastian is with him.

"Pack her things!" He almost yells. I wonder if he's sending me away. "Enough for a week at least. We're going to Cordell. He's in trouble." Both women nod and scramble to their duties. I stand in the middle of the room, waiting for orders. "Get changed. Something comfortable and pleasant." I nod and follow the women, wondering where Cordell is.

We go first by car and then by train. Richard travels with us. Sebastian stays. To travel would mean a cage. I can't do that to him. Richard's eyes are shifting all about. I sit close to Cruz. The crowds bother me. They push and shove. My hand slides into Cruz's and he holds me. I have no idea where we're going or why, all I know is something has happened and Cruz is needed. He's off to rescue someone else.

I'm jealous. Will there be another child coming to stay in the house with us? Someone to take Cruz's attention from me? I've gotten used to dancing for him. Or playing the piano as he sits next to me with Sebastian beneath us. Patsy comes over after school and we talk and giggle in the studio. She can't dance, but she does like music. We have the stereo blasting many evenings.

Cruz hugs me close to his side. He thinks I'm cold because I'm trembling, I'm confused and frustrated. I like being the center of the universe to them. I was once that to my family and they gave me away. I'm afraid that it may happen again. Cruz tucks his coat in around me. He's distant and lost in thought. What has him so worked up?

"That boy will be the death of them all!" I heard Mrs. Potter hiss as she packed my bag.

"No, it's that girl!" Mrs. Ellis scowls as she says this. Mrs. Potter nods. What boy? What girl? I look at the women in confusion.

"Cordell is Dr. Cruz's godson. The boy is a gifted musician. A prodigy they say, but he's ill. He has epilepsy. Now he's involved with this horrid little girl and she's ruining him." Mrs. Potter tells me under the glaring eye of Mrs. Ellis. "You beware of her, Shyane. She's from a bad lot. Spoiled, cruel and… horrid!"

"Spoiled and manipulative," Mrs. Ellis adds.

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Horrid? Spoiled? Manipulative? They didn't say ugly. That means that the girl is very pretty. She also must be well loved and smart to make this boy act out. Cruz is upset over the boy's actions. The boy Cord has done something to set them all on edge over this horrid, spoiled, manipulative girl. I know that type very well. I have a niece like that somewhere.

I look out the window of the train and smile at all the grass. It's fall and very cool. I love the smell of outdoors. Cruz releases my hand and smoothes my hair back. I stiffen. He moves his hand. I feel bad for making him uneasy. He lifts me up and over him so that I'm sitting next to the window. He doesn't attempt to touch me again. I lay my head against the glass and relax.

I don't know exactly where we are. I know we're traveling farther away from my family. We're going across country. Away from them. I have to let them go. I keep telling myself that. I don't seem to listen.

I have been with Cruz for almost two months. I'm not sure I'm settled. Dr. Brooks keeps telling Cruz that I need therapy. He avoids it. So do I. How do I tell a therapist that I was given to an Immortal in a blood pact? That I was abused and molested, and then I was rescued by three vampires and brought here by Cruz, who must be an Immortal. They'd lock me up for sure.

The train pulls into the station and we hurry to a cab. We drive to the country. I'm tired, uncomfortable and irritable. Cruz doesn't touch me. I yawn and lean against Richard's shoulder. The man is my protector and I feel comfortable and safe with him. More so than with Cruz. I know this fact bothers Cruz. I mean for it to. He won't give me back the books. He's going to rescue someone else and he may send me away.

"Nardo!" We are greeted by a lovely woman at the door of an equally lovely home. She is blonde and has a kind smile.

"Alexa!" Cruz hugs her. "This is my ward, Shyane."

"Hello!" Alexa holds out a hand for me to shake. I shake it and bob my head shyly, then duck back behind Cruz. Richard is taking care of our luggage. "She's darling!" Alexa is talking to Cruz.

"Where Mitch?" Cruz asks.

"In the study," Alexa sighs, "Debating on who to kill." I hope she's joking. "Go on. I'll get your ward settled." She reaches for me, but I cling to Cruz's hand.

"Go on now. I'll see you in bit. I'm sure you need to use the facilities. Come down once you've freshened up." He pushes me to the woman and rushes down the hall. I frown at how easily he passes me off to some stranger.

"Come along then," Alexa holds out her hand to me. I fold my arms behind my back. "Okay, then." She walks up the stairs and I follow. I'm getting good at being silent and following.

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I'm put in a nice room next to the one that Cruz will be staying in. When I come back to my room from the restroom I find my bags. Richard has been here. I put my clothes away and head down to find Cruz. The music stops me. It's sad. I follow it.

The piano is exceptional. The boy playing it is cute. He has his mother's blonde hair and blue eyes, but his face is intense. He's playing a sad and complicated tune. Suddenly he stops playing and slams his hands down on the keys. I wince. For some reason, the sound splinters through my head.

"Who are you and why are you lurking around?"

I turn to find a perfectly beautiful girl standing behind me. This has to be Horrid, Spoiled and Manipulative. She looks me up and down with a cold gleam in her eye. I step out of her way as she prances into the room. She's wearing very short shorts and a tank top that leaves little to the imagination.

"Amber!" The boy is up and hurries to hug and kiss her.

He's tall. I think he looks about sixteen. She looks older than he and she is not lanky or gawky like any teen. She is developed and older. I feel out of place with them and their intense kissing. I move toward the door.

"Who are you?" The boy asks. I hurry out the door.

"Is your mother starting a daycare?" Amber's voice follows me.

I run down the stairs and right into Richard. He smiles down at me and points me in the direction of the study. I find it easily. It's where all the yelling is coming from. I slip into the room and wait for them to notice me.

"She is a menace!" Mitch is pounding his fists on the desk. He's a handsome man. Handsome and angry. "I could throttle her!"

"Shhh!" Alexa warns and points up towards the ceiling.

"I don't care!" Mitch roars.

"How serious is this?" Cruz is more contained.

"He's left school. He just left!" Mitch throws his hands up in despair. "He wants to help her and her career!"

"Meaning?" Cruz sounds amused.

"Either we assist her financially in her studies or she'll leave and our son will follow." Alexa looks stressed.

"He's not of age," Cruz points out. "He's not even sixteen."

"He's threatened to run away with her," Alexa explains. "She's staying in the guest quarters. I won't allow them to share a bed in my house, but if she leaves so does he."

"She's here?" Cruz laughs at the couple.

"She has no family to speak of. She's only sixteen and quite independent. She knows what she wants and she knows how to get it." Mitch growls. "Even if we pay her off, I'm sure she'll come right back for more. Or for more help."

"Is she talented?"

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"Yes!" Mitch leans back in his chair. "Unfortunately!"

"What shall we do?" Alexa asks in a tortured voice.

"Well, first of all throw the girl out. This is your house. She goes and she goes today. Cord and I will have a talk and I think a little trip is in order. Me and Cord have had little time together. I think he and I should show Shyane the cottage." Cruz stands and looks at me.

"You must be Shyane." Mitch jumps up and hurries to shake my hand. I back into the wall and hold out my hand. Mitch shakes it and smiles. He really does have a nice smile. "I hope you and Nardo can talk some sense into my silly son." I smile.

"Mother?" Cord steps into the room with Amber, the Horrid, Spoiled and Manipulative draped over his arm. She has the most annoying look on her face. She's practically leering at them. Cord looks aloof until he sees Cruz. "Nardo!" He leaps forward and into Cruz's arms, dislodging Amber. "When did you get here?"

"Just now." Cruz hugs the boy and pounds him on the back. "We're going to the cottage and thought we'd stop to see if you'd like to come along? I had hoped you'd help me show Shyane the countryside."

"Now?" The boy is smiling.

"Yes! I have a little time." I notice that Alexa and Mitch look happy that their son is so excited.

"I'd love to but …"

"No, you're going. Your little friend can pack her things and go. Cord, this is your parent's home. I'm distressed that you would treat them so. I had always seen you as such a level headed fellow."

"I am, Nardo!" Cord now looks upset, "But I'm in love."

"You will fall in and out of love a hundred times in your life, if you're lucky." Cruz laughs at the girl behind Cord. She moves to latch onto his arm. Cruz moves in quickly, blocking the girl and guides the boy to me.

"Who's Shyane?" Cord looks around and his eyes light on me. "Hey, she was upstairs."

"This is Shyane. She's my ward." I look at Cord and then away. My eyes fall on Amber, who is glaring at me.

"Nice to meet you." Cord smiles at me and then turns his attention to Cruz. "I missed you! Where have you been?"

"Busy! Business!" Cruz laughs. "You've grown!"

"It's been almost a year!" Cord leans against his father's desk, ignoring his parents. "I guess you were called here to stop me from making a mistake that I'll regret for the rest of my life?" He's very flippant.

Alexa and Mitch exchange looks. Amber moves next to Cord and curls herself around him. I notice Cruz's cold, calculated eye as he examines her. He doesn't like her. His face holds this fact for all to see. Cruz sees Amber as

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everyone else does, as horrid, spoiled and manipulative.

"I've been busy trying to get Shyane settled. We're trying to decide what school will fit her needs." Cruz smiles at me. I look out the window. I can't stand Amber's angry glare.

"Ward?" Amber asks. "Is she an orphan?"

"No," Cruz answers coldly. "If you would excuse us I think Cord and I need to talk. And you need to pack."

"I am not going anywhere!" Amber almost snarls.

"Yes, you are," Cruz moves towards the girl slowly.

"You can't make me!" Amber is not going to back down.

"You have no family. You are not an emancipated minor. If you are not out of here in the next fifteen minutes, I will notify the authorities and have you placed in the custody of social services. You can spend the next two years in foster homes, institutions or prison. I could care less. You have taken advantage of the situation long enough."

"Who the hell are you?" Amber hisses. She's trying to be brave and fails, miserably.

From where I'm standing I can see the back of Amber's head and Cruz's face clearly. Everyone else is behind him. They are all watching the girl. She is very animated. I watch as Cruz's calm face becomes cold and dark.

"Why, don't you know? I'm the devil." Cruz's eyes change. They become a glowing red. I hear Amber gasp. "And I've come for your soul."

"Shit!" Amber backs away from him. Cruz's eyes lock on mine and instantly they become normal.

"Pack and leave. Don't make me tell you again. You will not return here uninvited. And if I find that you've attached yourself to my godson again, I'll make sure you never, ever have a single peaceful moment." I have to look away.

Cord?" Amber's voice falters.

"You better go, babe. He can be damn mean when pissed." Cord sighs and leans back against the desk. "I'll talk to him."

The girl doesn't even go towards Cord. To do that, she would have to get right up next to Cruz. She runs from the room in terror. I move out of the way and over to a window. Looking out I can only think of one thing. What is Cruz?

"You and I need to talk." Cruz spins to turn on Cord.

"I figured as much," the boy replies in an exasperated tone.

"Shyane, why don't you go up to your room and rest?"

I stand glaring at Cruz. Already he's leaving me behind. Cruz pushes me to the stairs. I do as I'm told. I run to my room. Looking out the window, I see Cord and Cruz sitting on the patio. After a while Alexa and Mitch join them. From above, I watch them talk and laugh. They're having fun and I'm not included. I walk to the room where the piano is.

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The keys are so bright. I sit down and begin to play. The music seems to come to me so easily here. I play the tune that Cord had been playing. My hands move easily over the keys. The music seems to swell in me. I've missed this feeling. I want to be in two places at once. I want to play the piano and I want to dance to this music. I can't, so I simply play.

"What the hell are you doing?" I jump.

Cord is standing in the doorway looking very angry. I stop playing and put my hands in my lap. He walks over to me and looks at the naked music stand. His eyes dart around the piano.

"Where's the music?" he yells. I look up at him, shaking my head. There was none. "What are you doing?"

"I was just playing." I say, feeling my face blush.

"You were playing my music!" He slams down the piano lid. I jump back. If my hands had been there they would have been crushed! I glare up at him.

"You don't own music!" I yell.

"You bitch!" Cord screams in my face.

I slap him. The stinging pain makes me wince. I have never slapped anyone before and I'm shocked by the solid feeling of his flesh to my hand. My arm pains from the shock of hitting him. His eyes flash angrily and dangerously. I climb over the piano bench and race for the door. The floor comes up to meet me as he tackles me. I grunt at the pain.

"Cord!" Cruz is there jerking him off me. "Have you lost your mind?" I scramble to my feet and rush to hide behind Richard.

"She's playing my music!" Cord yells. "She slapped me!"

"She's a little girl!" Cruz shoves the boy away from him. "What have you become? What's going on with you?"

"It's my music!" Cord walks back to touch the piano, as if it has betrayed him.

"You're giving it up for a girl. Why should it matter to you if a little girl plays your music? Shyane is a very gifted musician," Cruz smiles at me proudly, "among other things."

"I bet!" Amber is in the room then. "She's probably used to men being her daddy figure."

"Watch it!" Cruz warns. "You were told to leave!"

"I just came to say goodbye to Cord. I guess you brought a bit of a diversion for him? Is she to take my place in his bed? To keep him under control? You are one sick bastard!" I hide safely behind Richard. Amber is digging her own grave.

"Shyane is my ward." Cruz's voice is a low growl.

"Ward? What did she do to be your ward? Or better yet, what was done to her? Is it because her father was too friendly with the little princess?"

"Amber," Cord's voice holds warning.

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"Look, if the little darling," even I could tell that Amber was mimicking Alexa, "needs a daddy figure that's not my problem."

"What do you mean?" The voice is angry. It's my voice. I move closer to Amber. She's a lot taller than me. But I'm a lot madder than her. "What are you implying?"

"Did your Daddy come to your room at night to visit you?" Her implications are clear. I slap her too. This time I really put my anger into it and she staggers back.

"Don't you ever talk about my Daddy you hateful, evil bitch!" I scream.

Tears are streaming down my cheeks as I race for the room I'm staying in. I slam the door and sink down behind it to sob. I pull my knees to my chest, hugging them as I try to make myself as small as possible. I'm lonely, afraid and hurt. I want my Daddy!

"Shyane?" Cruz is looking for me. He hears me sobbing and looks behind the door to find me. "Oh, honey." He sits down on the floor and hugs me. I let him.

"I want my Daddy!" I wail into his chest. I hear him sigh as he pats my back. "I want my Daddy! She's lying! My Daddy never…!"

"I know," Cruz whispers in my ear, "I know he's a good man or you wouldn't be here with me. The decision for you to stay with me was mutual. Your safety is his main concern. It's all of ours. That girl is simply horrid and evil."

"Spoiled and manipulative!" I sob and crawl into his lap. I lay my head on his shoulder. His arms hold me and I cry until I can cry no more.

I wake hours later in the bed. Alone. I instantly reach for Sebastian, but I have left him at home. My eyes are hard from tears and my head aches. I sit up and find Cruz asleep in a chair next to my bed. He looks very uncomfortable. I climb from the bed and wiggle my way into his lap, wrapping his arms around me.

"Most undignified," he whispers. I shrug. "People will talk."

"Well, you are my father," I yawn, "On paper."

"I can't believe you're letting me touch you," he says, ignoring my little jab. I shrug again. "Shyane, I would love for you to be with your family, but I think you know as well as I that this situation is the best." I nod. "For now."

"Does that mean I can see them one day?" I ask.

"We'll see." He kisses the top of my head. "Get up. We're expected to dinner. Tomorrow we're going to the cottage. Try not to beat up anyone else while we're here."

"Okay." I climb from his lap and head for the bathroom.

"Come down to eat. And smile." He gives me a very large, fake smile before leaving me.

I wash my face, comb my hair and change my shirt. When I open the

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door I find Cord standing outside, leaning against the opposite wall. I bite my lip because my handprint is still on his cheek. His face is unreadable. I look down the hall. We're alone. I move to slide past him. He reaches out and grabs my arm. I freeze. I feel the warmth of his hand spread up my arm.

"I'm sorry." He's sincere. I nod. "You had a lot say earlier. Can't you say you forgive me or at least call me a bastard or something?"

"You're a bastard," I say in the softest voice. He shakes his head and smiles at me. He doesn't let go of me, but lets his hand slide down to hold mine.

"So you don't forgive me?"

"I'll think about it," I tease. I look at his hand holding mine. "She's going to be pissed."

"Amber?" he asks. I nod. "Nardo sent her on her way."

"And you let him?" I'm astounded by the power Cruz seems to have over him.

"I had no choice. He was extremely upset that you were crying. He came out of your room, told her to piss, pack and leave."

"Piss?" I lean against the wall. Cord leans against it next to me, still holding my hand.

"He made her take a pregnancy test. Negative." Cord frowns.

"Did you want her to be?"

"I don't know. Maybe. She was getting kind of demanding. I told her I would call her when we get back from the cottage." I look down at his hand holding mine. He has nice long fingers. The hands of a musician. "I might." I look up to see his eyes fixed on my face. "And then again, I might not."

"I have to go down to dinner." I try to pull my hand free. Cord won't release me. "Can I have my hand back?"

"If you answer me a question."

"Okay?"

"How did you know my music?"

"I heard you playing it."

"Just after that one time and you knew it?" I nod. "Extraordinary."

"Can I please have my hand back?" his touch is like when I was with Malcolm. I'm uncomfortable because I want to flirt and know I shouldn't.

"Did it hurt?" He opens my hand and is examining my palm.

"It stung." I tug and he lets my hand slide away.

"It hurt like hell." He smiles at me and stuffs his hands in the pockets of his pants. Together we walk down to dinner.

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Cottage

The cottage is a lovely little house right on the beach. Even though it's fall, the weather is calm, warm, humid, sticky and I'm excited at seeing the ocean. We unpack. I have my own room, Cruz and Cord are sharing a room and Richard is camping out on the sofa. I put on the bikini that Alexa help me pick out and the cover up that Cruz insists upon. I want to walk in the ocean. Cord is all for that. He changes into swim trunks and we walk down the path to the water.

Our first day is filled with swimming in the chilly sea, collecting sea shells and laughing. Cruz sits on the beach and watches Cord and I run about. I know how to swim, but swimming in a pool is very different from swimming in the ocean where the waves are pounding you. It tastes funny too. Salty and gritty.

More than once, the waves carry me out to deeper water and Cord drags me back. He's tall enough to reach the bottom. Each time I wrap my arms around his neck and let him carry me back to where the sandy bottom drops off. His hands are on my bottom as he holds me. It's uncomfortable to have him hold me.

We have a fire on the beach and roast hot dogs on sticks. It gets chilly in the evening and Cord runs back to the cottage to bring his hoodie. He makes me put it on and sits next to me. Cruz keeps looking at us. He doesn't say much.

"I'm tired," I announce as darkness falls. My first day at the beach has been exhausting.

I figure Cord and Cruz need privacy. All the adults were still trying to talk Cord into returning to school. Now his excuse for not wanting to return was the same reason he had left. Amber. He's bothered by the fact that Amber will be there and everyone will have heard about his failed attempt to run away. According to him, he'll be emasculated in everyone's eyes. Cruz has threatened to emasculate him. I really want to avoid this conversation.

"I'll walk her back." Cord stands with me.

"I can walk myself." I wave him off. "You two need to talk."

"I'll walk you back." His voice is firm. I frown and turn to Cruz.

"He'll walk you back. We'll be along shortly." Cruz is poking at the fire with a stick. "Cord, hurry back."

"Come on." Cord takes my hand and pulls me along.

We walk slowly back to the cottage. He opens the door and we walk in. Richard is watching TV and stands instantly. Cord waves him off. He walks me to my bedroom door. We stand awkwardly in the hallway. Cord towers over me. I set my hand on my doorknob and wait. I'm not sure for what.

"I'll see you in the morning," Cord finally says.

He leans down and kisses me on the lips. I'm stunned, even though I expected it. He turns and leaves me. I shower, climb into clean night clothes and slide beneath the bed covers. I gaze out the window and sigh. I'm going to

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sleep with a smile on my face. That hasn't happened in a long time. I say my prayers as I drift off to sleep, thinking of the kiss.

"So you wanted to leave school because you got stuck on a song and used Amber as an excuse?"

I'm lying on a towel, on the beach, shivering and trying to pretend I'm not freezing because I want to finish my conversation with Cord. It's taken me two days to get him to talk about this. Anything else and he's willing to spill the beans, but about himself he's very tight lipped.

"Not exactly," he mumbles, throwing a rock into the coming tide. "You make it sound so silly."

"It isn't?"

"Amber was great! She helped me come out of my shell."

"And your clothes," I jab.

"Well," he chuckles, ruefully, "that too. She's got a great body. I mean, she's a dancer and she's limber and can move that…"

"I don't need a visual." I sit up and hug myself.

"No, you need a blanket. Come on. Let's get up to the house." He jumps up and holds his hand out to me.

"I'm fine." I shake my head. Richard and Cruz are on the back deck watching us. I like the little distance and privacy they have given us. Aside from our time in the water, one of them has been with us.

"Your lips are turning blue." He leans closer to kiss me.

"No, they're not!"

I bite my lower lip and turn my face from his. He huffs in frustration. I have a feeling he thinks I'm playing hard to get. I'm just not up to being the rebound girl. Truthfully, I've never been anyone's girl and just feel like he's pushing it. Especially when all he talks about is Amber.

"Come on!" He leans down to tug at the towel I'm sitting on. "It's way too cold to be swimming. I shouldn't have let you talk me into this."

"Then why did you?" I ask standing and brushing sand off me.

"I have a very hard time saying no to you."

"You just like seeing me in my bikini!" I accuse.

"You got that right!" He smiles and I blush.

I snuggle deeper into his hoodie and reluctantly follow him back to the cottage. Cord shakes the sand from the towel and folds it over his arm. He takes my hand in his as we walk. It's getting late. I yawn and my stomach growls.

"Nardo is going to jump my case for neglecting you."

"I'm fine. So continue. You got stuck and she had a great body and you decided to quit school…"

"It's not that simple," Cord moans.

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"Isn't it?"

"I have to be able to make music. I'm not alive if I don't. I feel as if I'm suffocating. I have to be able to hear it… I couldn't make music. I couldn't get past certain notes. It's like the music is stuck in my head, behind a door and I can't get to it." He frowns. "Amber came to school and she was different. Free and lively. Not stuck up or snobby. Not prim or proper. She danced about and made me laugh and…"

"Made you feel alive?" I tempt.

"Yes!" He's happy that I seem to understand. "I was the school nerd. The prodigy who was too weird for words, younger than everyone else. Picked on one second and the next, I was the guy who was dating Amber Gilbert."

"You mean sleeping with Amber Gilbert," I correct him. It's his turn to blush.

"Yeah, I guess," he frowns again. "I wasn't the school joke. I was hoping that I'd be able to finish my music and pass."

"Pass?"

"Oh, I left that part out," he sighs. "I'm failing advanced music. I've put off my studies and…"

"And it was easier to claim young, rebellious love over the fact that you slacked off on your schooling to get laid?"

"Yep. If I go back, I have to either turn in the music for a grade or fail the class. If I fail the class, then I'm out. Back to regular school for me. No dorm life, no freedom, no open allowance and I wasn't ever a prodigy, just a kid who was good."

"That was stupid," I muse.

"What?"

"Blowing off school!"

"And you're the perfect student?"

"Well, I used to be. I haven't been to school in a long time." My hand goes to my throat and I rub it nervously. "Cruz is having me homeschooled for now."

"Lucky you!"

"Lucky me?" I scoff. "I miss school."

"You would," Cord laughs.

"So you're a gifted musician?" I ask, trying to get a hold on the situation.

"Since I was a little kid." Cord makes a face as he looks down. "I've been composing since I could walk."

"Wow!" I pick up a pretty shell and turn it over in my hand.

"You?"

"Me what?" I look up at him.

"How long have you been making music?"

"Same. I guess. As long as I can remember." It's the first time that I admit

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that. My earliest memories are of music and Dad. "So what are you going to do now?"

"About?"

"School." I hate when he doesn't listen to me but goes off in his all self-absorbed dreamland.

"I don't know. Nardo pretty much sealed my fate with Amber. She's going to treat me like the plague and make sure everyone knows that my godfather sent her packing and emasculated me in front of my parents." He sounds bitter.

"So you're mad at Cruz, and not your folks, for you being an idiot about some dumb blonde?"

"Amber is not a dumb blonde. She's very talented."

"So you say!"

"Not just me. She has a full scholarship at the academy for dance and academics." I say nothing. "That's an impressive feat."

"I'm sure." I'm not impressed.

"I'd like to see you do that!" he says.

"Sure, I'll give it a try," I reply, even though I have no plans on where I'm going to school or if I will. I miss peers, but I like my casual learning schedule.

"Why do you call him Cruz?"

"I don't know. I always have."

"How long is always?"

"Two months."

"Two months to know your own father?"

"He's not…" I stammer, "I…"

"Is it true?"

"What?" I look out into the ocean trying to focus on the sick feeling I have rising in my stomach.

For three days we've been talking and swimming. Cord has been talking about himself, his life, his family and Cruz. I try to avoid all conversation about me as much as I avoid kissing him. It's just something I don't want to deal with. I know I'm going to have to talk about me. I just don't know how to.

"That you were kidnapped? Held captive and molested?" I stop walking and turn to look at Cord in shock. "Cruz told my folks that's how he found out about you."

I shake my head, my mouth falls open and I want to scream. Cruz told them? He betrayed me? He told Cord what Peter did to me? Is that why he keeps trying to touch me and kiss me? Does he think I'm going to give him what Amber did? I'm horrified! Mortified!

"I just..," he stammers, seeing the panic on my face.

I turn and run for the cottage. Richard and Cruz both stand as I race in and slam my bedroom door. I throw myself onto my bed. I wonder if this is how my life will be from now on. Poor Shyane. I hate it. I hate Cord. I hate Cruz for

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telling him. I hate everyone. I cry into the bed and beat my fists onto it. Why is this happening to me? Why have I become a pity case?

"Shy?" Cruz knocks on my door and leans in. "What happened? Why is Cord out here apologizing and you're in here crying?"

"Why did you tell them about what happened to me?" I sob.

"Oh," He comes in to sit on the bed with me. His hand is warm in the middle of my back. "I told his parents. They're my closest friends. He was listening. I'm sorry."

"I'm just someone for everyone to feel sorry for," I accuse.

"No!" Cruz lifts me off the bed and sets me up to face him. "You mean a lot to me. I'm very proud to tell people you're my daughter. I can't help it if I want to brag to everyone."

"Me?" He brushes away my tears.

"Yes. Brave, feisty and gifted." He kisses my cheek. "Talk to Cord, he's very upset."

"So what? He's such a pain and he's so…" I frown and brush my tears away. "All he thinks about is himself!"

"He's a teenager," Cruz laughs. "Do me a favor and make him grovel." He pats my knee and stands to leave me.

"Cruz?"

"Yes?" He looks down at me.

"You brought me to tempt him away from that awful girl, didn't you?" I watch him smile.

"I don't know what you're talking about. You're too young to be tempting anyone."

"I'm almost fourteen." The words shock even me.

"That's true. What would you like for your birthday?" I start to say something, but end up biting my lip.

"What?"

I shake my head.

"Just ask!"

I shake my head again.

"What is it, Shyane?" His tone has changed. He knows.

"I'll make him grovel." I turn from him to ensure he didn't see my tormented face.

"Shyane," Cruz is not one to play games, "we discussed this. You know…"

"I know." I sniffle. I stand and walk over to the dresser. I pick up my hairbrush. "I'll do what you say."

Cruz opens the door and leans out to make sure we can talk. He shuts it and comes to me quickly, pushing me against the dresser. I wince as his hand clamps down my shoulder to keep me from moving away.

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"You can't really expect me to allow you to see them? Can you? After what they did to you?"

"I know. I'm yours." I look boldly him in his eyes. "I'll do as you say. I'll be whatever you want. For him or whoever you want to pawn me off on." I say this in a monotone voice. His hand squeezes me hard enough to make me wince.

"Is that what you think? Is that it? That I rescued you so that you could be my godson's plaything?" His voice is harsh. I try to pull away and he holds me firmly. "Or mine?"

"I don't know. I'm just so..," I fight not to cry.

"I would never have let you be taken. I can't imagine you wanting to see them again. To have them ask if he's coming to take you or avenge your escape? Now I think you're a great diversion for Cord. Do I want you in his bed? No! You are too young!" He releases me and I slide down to the floor.

I'm confused, ashamed and tired. Cruz storms out of the room and I fall to pieces. I seem to be doing that a lot lately. I hug my knees to my chest and try to make myself very, very small. I wish that Sebastian were with me. I need someone on my side.

"Hey?" Cord is standing before me. I look up at him and frown. He sits down with me. "I'm sorry."

I stare at nothing. I don't want to talk to him. I don't want to be attracted to him. I don't want to do anything that I'm supposed to. I brush away the last of the tears. He leans forward, his hand reaching out to touch my cheek. As with Malcolm, I lean into his touch. Why is it like this? Why do I feel this way? Cord leans in to kiss me again. This time I kiss him back.

"It's true," I say, pouting.

"I won't ask again." He kisses me. "I like kissing you," he whispers. "I don't think Nardo will like it, though. He says you're too young for me."

I shrug.

"You sure are something else." His eyes dance over my face. "Nothing like Amber."

"Thank you," I laugh. Cord is kissing me intently.

"I don't think that we'll have any time alone. Richard watches us like a hawk," he mumbles. "I want to be alone with you. Just once."

"Why?" I ask.

"Just because." I see in his eyes what he wants. I had seen it before. In Peter's eyes. I look away from his eyes.

"I don't think that's a good idea," I sigh.

"Have you?" He asks. I shake my head. "Do you want to?" I look up at him.

"One day," I reply.

"With me?" I shrug.

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He's making me uncomfortable. I was supposed to make him grovel. I move from his hold and stand. He frowns, looking up at me. I try to step past him. He moves quickly to grab me around my knees and pull me down on top of him. I squeal in surprise. He moves quickly and I'm on my back beneath him. He kisses me and I cannot resist. I kiss him. His hands move down my body, pulling me to him. I begin to wiggle from him and he smiles, tickling me. I can't do this! I sit up suddenly and my forehead connects with Cord's nose. The blow stuns me. We lay on the floor laughing and moaning. I crawl from beneath him and leave him on the floor of my room.

"Well?" Cruz asks as I flop down in a chair next to him. He's sitting on the deck, looking out into the ocean.

"I'm working on the groveling bit," I answer. "You have this planned out, don't you? Me and Cord?"

"I wouldn't say that," he sighs. He hates when I put him on the spot. "In time, years, you and he might be perfect for each other."

"Why is he more apt to listen to you than his parents?"

"He's adopted. I have a closer connection to him than they do. I found him."

"Found him? Is he like me?"

"No!" Cruz smiles at me. "There are no others like you."

"I mean, is he a tribute?"

"No," Cruz sighs. "You know I'm ageless?" I look around and find we're alone. I nod. "His grandmother and I were lovers many years ago. She married and had a family. She and her husband passed away. Their son and daughter-in-law were killed in a car accident. Their infant son survived. Cord. I felt compelled to help out. Mitch is the son of an old friend. He loves his wife. They wanted children…"

"So he's normal?"

"No, he's abnormally asinine." We both laugh at his joke. "I had thought I would ensure him a good home and that would be the end of it. Mitch and Alexa asked me to be his godfather. I take that role seriously. Cord always was very gifted when it came to music. I've used my influence to help his education along."

"You're rich, aren't you?"

"Why? What do you want?" He looks over at me suspiciously.

"How did you get rich?"

"Hard work. School and good investments." His voice is thin. I'm delving into an area he's not comfortable talking about. "Why are you asking me these questions?"

"I'm curious."

"About how much money I have?"

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"About a lot of things." I stand and walk away from him. The sand feels good beneath my feet. I shuffle along in the sand.

"What things?" Cruz is next to me. I shrug. "I told you that you could ask me anything, anytime and I would answer it as honestly as I could. I will. All you have to do is ask." He's coaxing me.

I have to think about it. I don't know how to ask the questions I want answered. I don't know what is real anymore. I feel lost. I trust Cruz and then again, I don't. He's not telling me everything, or anything. These facts frighten me. I'm in the darks.

"Well?" He stands, watching me slide my foot along in the sand.

"What are you?" I look to see how he reacts to my question.

"I have no name. To explain it would take a long time and even then you wouldn't be able to comprehend."

"How old are you?"

"Older than time."

I frown at him.

"That's as honest as I can be. It's hard to explain, to understand, at times, even for me."

"Do you really know my mother?" I try to read his face.

"Yes," he sighs and kicks at the sand with his shoe. "As I said, we are in the same field, basically. I've seen her over the years at different conferences and seminars. We are colleagues and friends."

"Did she really ask you to help?"

"Yes, I don't age as you do. She was suspicious. All these years and I'm the same. She came to me in a panic the night you were taken. She explained it all to me and then was surprised that I believed her." He seems to want to say something, but holds back. "She gave me some pictures of you and I told her I would try."

I look down and breathe deeper. I have to delve deeper into what's bugging me and what is real. I wonder how much longer I must question my sanity. I feel as if I'm becoming mentally unstable and that worries me.

"She signed the papers to give you custody of me? Did you have to see my mother to do that?"

"No," he frowns, "Carter took care of that. He took care of all of it. That's what he does."

"I guess it was easy," I mumble, more to myself.

"What's bothering you?"

I decide that if I can just clear the air, then I can get past all of this insanity. I stop playing with the sand and look up at Cruz. His eyes are normal, but still I'm wary of him. I close my eyes and breathe deeply. I open my eyes and gaze at him.

"Did you have an affair with my mother?" Cruz's eyes instantly flash red. I

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close mine and wait for him to rip my head off. I hear him breathe heavily and deeply.

"Shyane, open your eyes," he orders and I obey. "I hate when you do that. It makes me think you're frightened of me."

"I am."

"Yes. I know." He looks up and away from me, then back at me. "I had an ongoing affair with your mother," he says.

"How ongoing?"

"This year would have been fifteen years." I quickly do the calculations in my head.

"Am I your daughter?"

"Shyane?" He's exasperated with me. "Would it matter?"

"Yes," I answer.

"Why?"

"It would help me to understand why!"

"Why what?"

"Why you want me." His eyes hold mine. "I don't want to go on thinking that you took me to groom me for your bed."

His jaw falls open.

"Or for my blood, or because I'm valuable for some reason other than sex. My mind keeps spinning and I can't stop it."

"Shyane..," he steps forward to embrace me. I cry into his chest. I want him to tell me what I need to hear.

"Are you my biological father or did you falsify the DNA?"

"How will this help you?"

"Because my Daddy wouldn't want to have sex with me." I blubber. "My Daddy always loved me. He would never!"

"I am not that man." Cruz holds me. "A different man raised you and sent your mother to find me. He loves you Shyane, but he knows the danger you are in." He moves me back and looks down at me. "Your parents gave you to me to keep safe. Both of them."

"Just like that?" Was I so easy to give away?

"No, not just like that!" He looks about. "Let's walk." We head for the beach.

"Your mother came to me the night you were taken. She was desperate. Your father sent your mother to beg for me to help. They knew they could never have you in their lives again. But they wanted you safe."

"Are you my father?"

"Yes."

I breathe easier at the answer.

"Does it really make you feel better to know?"

"Yes!" I lean against him.

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"Why?"

"You told me to trust you and I tried, but my mind wouldn't let me. It's crazy the things I've been feeling and thinking. I just have to have a definite answer before I can let go."

"Let go?"

"Of who I was." I frown up at him. "Sometimes I think I'm crazy and Peter never existed. That I dreamed it all. My family. Peter, that room," I fight to breathe. "Him coming in at night, Malcolm, Kai and Stewart and..."

"You didn't dream it," Cruz says. I nod. His eyes gaze at me. "If you see your family again will it help?"

"I don't know." I sit down in the sand. I let it all sink in. The words, his actions, the facts, what the vampires said, why he hates my family. It's like watching a puzzle fall from the sky and then all the pieces slide together to form a picture. I frown at him.

"What?" he asks.

"I'm a muse," I say.

"I'm glad you're happy."

"Not amuse, a muse. The men who rescued me told me. They could sense it." Cruz's face pales. "They said that both my parents couldn't be human." He swallows and I see the anger in his eyes. "That's why you don't want me to see my family. Because she hid me from you."

"That, and because they let you be taken." He looks out into the ocean.

"You'll never let me see them again?"

"No." His voice is cold.

"Are they really in danger if I do?"

He breathes deeply and shrugs.

"I want to see them. I want to let them know that I'm okay. I want to…" I watch the pain take hold on his face. "I'm yours. I belong to you," I say evenly. "More so now than ever." His eyes lock on mine. "Please let me see them? For my birthday. Just one day. Please? I'll come back with you. I'll do what you say. I just want one day."

Cruz looks out to the ocean and I think I see a tear forming in his eye. He shakes his head and my heart sinks. His hand reaches out to take mine. I watch him take a deep breath.

"I have business and I can drop you off for two days." I jump into his arms. He hugs me to him. "You'll come back to me?" he asks in a hoarse whisper.

"Of course. I'm yours!" I kiss his cheek and hug him. "I don't know what to call you!" I sit back in his arms to look at him. "I have a daddy."

"Cruz. You've always called me that. I like that." He kisses my forehead. "Go on with Cord. Have a good day making him grovel. We'll be returning to his home tomorrow. Then to mine for a couple of days, and I'll drop you off Friday

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afternoon and pick you up Sunday evening." I kiss his face over and over again. Cruz laughs. "Go!" I jump out of his arms and run to find Cord. My heart is singing.

Cord sits next to me on the steps of the deck. Richard and Cruz are inside cooking dinner. Cord and I are laughing because they look so gay in the kitchen, with matching aprons and oven mitts. We stumble out into the night, snickering and giggling. We are being very bad, and enjoying it.

"Come on!" Cord shoots a look in the window, grabs my hand and pulls me out into the darkness. We run to the beach.

"We're going to get in trouble," I warn.

"We're young. Its expected." He pulls me into his arms and falls into the sand with me. I laugh as he tucks me neatly beneath his body and kisses me.

The moon is high in the sky and full. The moonlight reflects off the water and I can see his face clearly. His eyes glisten and he looks mystical. I reach up to touch his cheek. He closes his eyes and leans into my touch. I gasp at how wonderful it feels to touch him. He opens his eyes and gazes down at me.

"What?" I ask.

"I'm just trying to think if I've ever seen anything as beautiful as you." He kisses me tenderly.

"Amber?" I ask.

"No. Not even close." He shakes his head comically. "And what's so bad is, you haven't even come close to growing up yet."

"I'll be fourteen next week," I say. "It's not like you're so old!"

"I'm almost two years older than you."

"Almost!" I giggle as he kisses me again.

"I don't want to go home," he mumbles, "not without you."

"We're going too."

"But to your home. I want to pack you in my bag and take you back to school with me."

"I don't think so. I'd be in trouble."

"Why?"

"The first time Amber said anything I'd slap her," I smile.

"You probably would."

He's on top of me now. His hands on either side of my face, gently holding me so that he can kiss me. I have my hands on his shoulders ready to push him away if he tries to invade my personal space. He kisses me passionately and I begin to tremble.

"What?" he asks.

"It's just too much. Please?"

"Okay." He moves next to me in the sand with his hand resting on my stomach. "I really like you, Shy."

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"I figured as much," I whisper. His hand is moving, up under my shirt and lying against the bare skin of my stomach. I gasp. His touch makes my skin goose.

"No," he leans in to kiss me again and I feel his hand moving up my skin, "I really like you."

"No, you don't." I put my hand over his to stop it before he reaches my breast. "Please, stop."

"Shy!" He lets out a long dramatic sigh. "Do you have any idea what you're doing to me?"

"Yeah," I shift my body away from his. "I can feel it digging into my hip."

"Shy!" He falls back into the sand laughing. "You're killing me!"

"Better me than Cruz!" I sit up and pull my shirt back down. "I don't want this." I stand up.

"Will you ever?" he asks, holding his head in his hands as if in agony.

"I don't know. And if I do, I'm not sure I want it from you."

"What?" He sits up suddenly. I move away from his grasp.

"I'm not sure if I want Amber's sloppy seconds." I turn and jog back to the cottage. Leaving him moaning in the sand.

"Where's Cord?" Cruz asks me. He's walking towards where we had been lying. I wrap my arm around his waist and we walk back to the house for dinner.

"Groveling," I answer.

He smiles and hugs me.

"Good girl!"

I giggle as he kisses the top of my head.

"Very good girl!"

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The

Inspired

I stand on pointe in the middle of the music room. Cord is watching me. I smile and pirouette about effortlessly. He frowns at me as he watches. Cruz is in the doorway watching. I jette and move across the room to the piano. I tilt my head and smile seductively. Cord shakes his head.

"I can't!" he frowns.

"Why not?" I ask, plopping down next to him.

One day back at his parent's house and he's beyond frustrated, and even hopeless, after coming clean about his academic ventures to his parents. They were less than happy, but the disappointment was what really hurt. Cord told me he could deal with corporal punishment more than the disappointment in their eyes. Cruz smacked him on the back of the head hard enough to make Richard wince.

One day. Cord had one day to finish his composition. He would have to play it for the school academic appeals committee before being allowed back to school. Then he would be on probation. According to him, all geniuses were given a bit of lee way on unacceptable behavior if it produced results.

We started right after breakfast in our attempt to produce results. Cord was more than a little frustrated. He dawdled over breakfast. I finally took his plate from him and grabbed his hand. He didn't resist as I pulled him to his piano. My pointe shoes were on it. Right where I had left them.

Cord played his composition for me right up to the point where he was stuck. I listened and stood behind him, waiting. He finished and I watched his shoulders droop. Writer's block was something he was not used to. Up until now, everything had come easy to him. Now, Cord has to grow up and understand that hard work trumps everything else.

"Well?" he asks.

"I like it." He turns to look at me.

"From way back there?" His eyes are laughing at me.

"Last time I got near that piano you tried to break my fingers." I raise my eyebrow at him. He flushes and sighs.

"I'm sorry. Your hands were clear."

"Hmph!"

I move closer and look over his shoulder at the pages of music and his chicken scratch. He has the worst handwriting I've ever seen. My hands are folded behind me, safe from his angry outbursts. He turns and snakes his arms around my waist and pulls me into his lap.

"Look at it from this perspective," he offers, kissing my cheek. Over his shoulder I see that Cruz has left us alone.

"Play it again." I climb from his lap and reach for my pointe shoes, "I'd like to see how it flows."

"Flows?" Cord smiles watching me.

His hand smoothes my hair back. I pull it back, fasten it with a hair tie

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and move across the floor. It's been several days since I've danced and it feels like years. I stretch, warm up and move about under his watchful eyes.

"You know that after a session like this me and Amber would fool around?" I give him a dirty look. "Any hope?"

"Of you and me fooling around or you finishing?" I smile as I dance about.

The windows are open and the breeze flows through the room. I feel as if I'm dancing on air. I move as swiftly as I can, getting a feel for the music that is still in my head. My arms move, following my body as I move. I stop where the music stops in my head. I turn to find Cord staring at me, mouth wide open.

"What?" I ask, feeling unsure.

"You really are talented!"

"Thanks." I feel a flush rise over me.

"Now what?" Cord eyes slowly glide over me. I'm only wearing shorts and a tank top. I wish for more clothing. Ignoring him, I walk over to the computer system and hit "record."

"Play. Let the music come to you. Forget all the shit and let the music compose itself." I step back to the middle of the room.

Cord begins to play. I dance. His eyes are on me. I move to the music and closer to him. He falters, curses and continues on. We repeat this for some time before he suddenly stops and picks up his pencil. He makes a notation on the music sheet and continues on. I continue dancing with the music.

I feel like a music box dancer. When he stops playing, I stop dancing. I stand waiting for him to continue. To turn the key and give me my freedom. To let me dance. To set me free. I stand in the middle of the room, waiting.

He's stumped. He frowns and bangs on the keyboard angrily. I watch him hold his head in his hands and groan. He's giving up. I walk over to lean down and begin to hum the music. Cord nods and begins again. I hum and then sing, not words, but notes. My voice is nothing but music to myself and Cord.

I feel the music in me. I feel it flow through me and morph into more than just notes and sounds. He falters again. His hand is frozen before the paper, pencil in hand, as he replays it in his own mind. I move behind him and my hand lightly caresses the back of his hand. I lean close and hum softly into his ear. His hand moves, as if on its own, quickly adding notes here and there. He stumbles through his work and then seems to find himself.

I continue to dance as he frantically writes and plays. We stop, replay the recorded music and listen to the beginning product and the end product. Cord moves to play again. I sit next to him on the bench, swinging my legs, humming as he plays. He plays it from beginning to end several times. Improving on it every time.

I begin to feel woozy, as if I'm overcome with exhaustion. I lean my head on his shoulder and let the music take me. I'm flying. Flying and spinning on

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the air. I then find myself falling.

I'm on my back on the floor with Cord kissing me. His hands are tugging at my clothes. His shirt is gone and my hands move over his chest. I kiss him and let him kiss me. His warm hand is on my hip and pushing my shorts down. I moan at the wonderful feeling of his hand on me.

"Shy!" he moans as his hand cups me in the most private part of my body. My hips rock up to meet his touch. I feel his finger enter me and cry out.

He's in me! I shake my head and push him away. He doesn't budge, but kisses me again. I want this. I do. I think I do. I try to push him away and can't. My mouth opens to cry out and is covered with his. He's between my legs, unfastening his jeans. I shake my head and push away from him. He grabs my knees and pulls me back beneath him.

"Please!" he begs, kissing me. I shake my head again and push on his chest, trying to move him. "I need you!"

"No!" I whimper.

"I have to have you! You have to be mine!" Cord whispers to me in urgency.

"No," I moan.

"You have to! I need you! I need you!" His hand tears at my clothes.

Memories of Peter and what he had done to me come flooding back. The memories of lying awake in fear, pretending to be asleep as Peter climbed into my bed and ran his hands down my body and kissed me.

"I love you!" Peter would hiss in my ear.

"I love you!" Cord whispers as he pins my hands on the floor and kisses me. I'm suddenly terrified of Cord.

"Stop!" I cry out and he does.

My voice seems to be amplified. It reverberates against the walls of the room. I'm as surprised as Cord at that. He lets go of me and I scoot out from under him and away. He's sitting on the floor looking shocked. I sit up, pulling the remains of my top together and my shorts up. My top is torn. My entire body is trembling and I feel lightheaded.

"I'm sorry!" Cord is up and moving. He drapes his light jacket over my shoulders and helps me put it on. He zips the jacket up and I pull it over my knees so I can hug them to my chest. "I don't know what came over me!"

"I'm okay," I whimper. He tries to touch me and I flinch. "I don't want to. Please!"

"Okay. Okay." He sits before me at a safe distance. "You need to stay away from me." I nod. "Shy… I don't know what happened. I just…"

"I need to go to my room." I try to stand and can't. I'm dizzy. I sit down hard on the floor.

"Did I hurt you?" His concern is nice. I smile at him and feel myself falling again.

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Yelling. Why are they yelling? Who's yelling? I blink and see Cruz. He's holding me in his arms. I move from the cool cloth he has on my face. What's happening to me? I'm so hot. I feel as if it's so hot in here. I feel the cool breeze, but I'm still hot and trembling. I'm on fire!

"Is she ill?" Alexa asks.

"No!" Cruz's voice is harsh. I open my eyes to see him glaring. I follow his glare to Cord, who stands off to the side, looking embarrassed. "I think she just got overwhelmed."

I'm flying again. Cruz lifts me into his arms and carries me to my room. I'm limp in his arms. He lays me in the bed and scowls at me. I blink. Why is he mad? I let him pull the covers over me.

"I told you that you were too young to be in his bed," he growls at me.

"Technically, it was the floor," I whisper.

"Would you like me to take my belt to your backside?"

"We didn't." I say. "He wanted to and I think I did too, but I got scared."

"Shyane..,"

"Cruz, we didn't." My head falls back.

"Damn it!" He hugs me close and I sigh.

"Don't be mad," I beg.

"I'm not mad. I'm furious. I'm going to beat his ass, then I'm going to beat yours. I thought I explained that you are too young for this!"

"I know, it just felt..," I blink and feel as is time has stopped. "I can't explain it. It was strange. He was playing and I was listening and then I was so messed up and falling. Like the music was draining me. I must have fainted. Then he was on me." I lick my lips. I'm thirsty. "He was…"

"I'll take my belt to him!"

"Cruz! I think I encouraged him. I'm not sure. He couldn't control himself and I seemed to be able to." Cruz looks upset. "I am a muse, aren't I? I'm not human, am I?"

"You're human," Cruz pushes my sweaty hair off my forehead, "and then some."

"I can't stop it. No," I frown, "I think I can. I yelled and it was like my voice was a force. It woke him from his daze and he stopped."

"Daze?"

"He was in a daze when he was on me. I asked him to stop and he kept saying he had to have me. That he loved me. When I yelled, he stopped. Like he woke up."

"I need you to stay away from him. I need you to not be alone with him." Cruz orders over his shoulder. I see Richard there. Richard nods and I nod in agreement. "You're still a child. You're too inexperienced for this. In time…"

"What the hell am I becoming?"

"What you were meant to be," Cruz whispers.

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"Something's wrong. I'm changing."

"I think we need to get you some help. Someone I trust and who knows what you're going through. Until then, you will steer clear of Cord."

"I want to go home," I whisper, feeling too tired to think of anything but sleep.

"It's late. Rest. I'm right here." Cruz leans down to kiss my forehead. "I'll get you home tomorrow."

"What's wrong with me?" I ask.

"You're a young woman," Cruz smiles. "You are tempting and dangerous to men."

"Did you know?"

"I suspected. One like you hasn't been born in centuries, Shy. You are an oddity for sure."

I close my eyes and let the darkness take me.

I dream vividly. I dream of home. I dream of Mommy and Daddy. I dream of my family. I dream of being happy. I dream of my life and I'm happy. I'm playing catch with Daddy. Mommy is cooking. It's Sunday. Everyone is coming home for dinner.

Daddy throws the ball. I look away for a split second and I miss it. It rolls into the underbrush. He laughs at me as I scramble after it. The stupid ball has rolled way into the woods. I go after it, tripping and stumbling.

The foliage begins to change. The sky turns from blue to the reddish purple I remember. I stop and look behind me. I can see Daddy clearly through the woods. The ball is right before me. I reach for it and find a pair of glowing blood red eyes staring at me. I freeze. My hand is hanging in the air above the ball. I gulp and begin to tremble.

I know it's Peter. I feel the tears coming. He's right there. His eyes are closer. His teeth are now visible, brilliantly white. He has fangs. I cry out in fear as I see the face behind the eyes and teeth. It's not Peter. It's Cruz. I close my eyes, my hand closes over the ball and I turn and run back to my Daddy.

"Are you going to talk to me?"

Cord is standing in the doorway as I pack. He's not allowed in the room. Richard is behind him in the hallway, patiently waiting. Cord looks back at the hulking man who is glaring and winces. He's been warned.

"What do you want to talk about?" I ask simply.

"I'm sorry."

"Okay."

"I don't know what happened…"

"It's okay." I turn to face him. "Really. It is."

"I hurt you?"

"I got scared." I bite my lower lip to keep from crying. I feel very sad.

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"I didn't mean to frighten you. I got carried away. I just needed you to know that I did mean it." I gulp. "I just didn't mean to do it that way."

"Okay." I look down.

"This is so fucked up!" Cord runs his hand through his hair. He frowns first at me and then back at Richard. Richard shakes his head and Cord sighs heavily.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that." I laugh.

He laughs at the joke.

"Cord, it's really alright. Quit beating yourself up. I'm not ready. I don't know when I will be.. I'm fucked up right now."

"You're not fucked up. Some fucked up things happened to you. That's all." He leans in the doorframe, blocking Richard's view of my face.

"That's one way of putting it."

"You took me by surprise." His look is wistful.

"How's that?" I'm terribly curious.

"I ain't ever fallen for a girl so quickly or hard before." His eyes are soft. "Ever."

"Is that good or bad?" I ask.

"Bad," he whispers. "You're leaving and I'm leaving. It's going to be a long time before we see each other again."

"I know."

"Why don't you ask Nardo if you could audition for my school? You really are talented. A lot more so than Amber and she's got a full scholarship."

"She's an orphan. I'm not," I point out.

"But you could audition."

"Cruz will decide where I go," I reply.

"You'll just follow him blindly? Like he owns you? Why?"

I want to tell Cord. I want him to know. I can't. I never can. He is a part of this world. I am too, but I'm also a part of another world. A world that is terrifying. I want comfort from him but I can't draw him into my life.

"I do what Cruz says because I trust him." My voice wavers, "He's my father and I think he knows what's best for me. I just have to trust him."

"Blind trust of a parent. How unusual." Cord laughs at me. "You really do need to grow up."

"Give me time?" I smile at him.

"All the time you need." He steps forward but Richard growls. Cord sighs and steps back. I step up to him and hug him.

"I'll see you again. If you get stuck, just call me and I'll see if I can help."

"I'll call. Just for the hell of it."

He laughs, pulling me into the hallway. I stand on tip toe to kiss him. He  
moans. I step away from him and hurry down to breakfast. I need to eat before we leave. It's time to go home.

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The

Muse

She is beautiful. I have never seen anyone as beautiful as she. And according to Cruz, she is older than the oceans. I sit it awe of her as she drifts so elegantly into the study and sits next to me. Everything about her is graceful, elegant, dainty and exquisite. Her name is too hard to pronounce for any human, so she is simply Diana.

"A lovely child," Diana smiles at me intently, "a new one. How is it she's been hidden from us?"

Diana is speaking to Cruz, while watching me. Her eyes are so hypnotic. I find myself smiling blissfully at her. She is so beautiful, with her emerald green eyes that sparkle, flowing red hair that's curly and silky and skin so pale it seems to glow, as if dusted with a fine glitter. Her face is angular with high cheekbones, rich full red lips and dark rich eyelashes that outline those beautiful, hypnotic eyes. If I were a man, I'd fall in love with her instantly.

"Peter is quite resourceful in his endeavors. He kept her hidden here and transported her last year. He then kept her locked away from everyone. She was his own little puppet. That he abused." The bitterness in Cruz's voice breaks the spell and I look at him. His blazing red eyes calm almost instantly at the fear in mine.

"Oh, he took from you?" Diana's hand is cool on mine. The pity in her voice makes me sad. "No! Don't be sad! You cannot help it. You are a child. He is the one in the wrong." Her hand squeezes mine and I nod. "You've had no training?"

"No, I just found out what I am." I look at Cruz. "No one told me that I wasn't a hundred percent human."

"Most of us find our true power once we hit puberty. Our bodies change. We grow, and our minds expand to accept more than a human can. We understand music, dance, art and literature as life forms in themselves." She smiles at me fondly, "Our life forces. We cannot live without it."

"Meaning?"

"If you stop dancing, singing, or inspiring someone who is a practitioner of the arts, then you stop living."

"I'll die?" I gasp.

"No, you'll stop living." Diana's smile fades. "You will be alive, but only a shell of the person that you are now. You will be unhappy, terrified and alone. Asylums all over the world are full of muses who have lost their inspirations."

"How does that happen?" I feel my stomach clench.

"They fall in love and the human eventually dies. They don't live as long as we do. Some muses are able to find other love, but some aren't. Some just can't get past it." Her hand slides from mine. "You must never give your heart to any one man."

"But I'm half human," I plead.

"So am I. Only a human could possess such passion. In us, it's just

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enhanced beyond what most humans could ever imagine." Diana smiles brightly. "It's our drug. Our cocaine. It's our one true love. Our only love. No other can compare. Anyone or anything else is only temporary. And the loss of it is devastating. The recovery from the loss is long and hard. Once you understand that, then I can guarantee you will be able to live among them."

One true love? How can it be my one true love? How can I not love anything but dance, music and art? How can I live forever and never love in the human sense? I need an answer from her because I haven't been able to think of anything but Cord since our return. I think I'm in love with him, and this conversation is frightening to me.

I dream of Cord nightly. His hands on me. His kisses and the thought of making love to him is more than a little pleasing to my swirling mind. In fact, I can't wait for a visit from him so that I can enjoy his music, his touch and his kisses. I miss the feelings in me when his music filled the room, my head and my heart. My heart hurts when I think of never seeing him again, hearing his music or feeling his touch.

"You will fall. We all do. Some of us recover. But we all give ourselves to humans. We have to. To give ourselves is the only way to fulfill our desires. And theirs." Give ourselves? Does she mean to make love to? My heart jumps. "Yes, I mean sex."

Cruz coughs and fidgets. He doesn't seem very happy with this concept. I find it intriguing. Diana seems to find it amusing. She laughs at our reactions. Cruz frowns at her.

"I'm sorry, but it truly is our only weapon. We are small, dainty, frail and appear weak. Sex is our defense. Withholding it is a vindication. For a human cannot resist us."

"So you want her to be a tease?" Cruz growls.

"Why not? You enjoyed it. Didn't you?" Diana's voice is alluring and seductive at the accusation. Her lovely face shows true passion. Passion directed towards Cruz.

"That was a long time ago." Cruz avoids looking at me.

"And so easily you let me go," Diana accuses.

"I am not human." Cruz's voice is cold and heartless.

"No, you are not." Diana turns her attention back to me. The tension in the room dissipates. "Shyane, you will need to be careful how you conduct yourself. You are an innocent. Naïve and very beautiful. We are childlike in appearance, and for that, men seem to think we need protecting. Some take it farther and try to possess us. Those are the ones we fear. They have the capability to strip us down to nothing and watch us die." I swallow back fear. Peter had tried this.

"They can't take it from us. We have to give it to them. It's worthless if they take it. In fact, in some cases, it kills them."

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"And us?" I know. That was why Peter kept me locked away until I would allow him to take me to his bed.

"Yes. Eventually, it kills us." Diana sighs. "The worst is to love what you can't have. To love someone who doesn't return our affections. Like the death of a love, it can drive us insane." She smiles at me as she looks back at Cruz.

"We are a selfish breed. Selfish and spoiled. We thrive on being treated well. Hard labor is not a life for us." She giggles and I see that her hands are not the hands of a woman who has ever done any labor.

"So I'm to be like you?" I ask, almost fearfully.

"No!" Cruz almost yells. I jump, but Diana seems unaffected by his outburst. "You were raised by humans. You were taught the difference. You know what it is to be human." I hear the hope I his voice. "And so you have compassion and passion."

"What do I do?" I ask looking at Diana.

"I am here to tutor you," she looks at Cruz, "as a favor. To give you pointers on how to control yourself. You must know a few things, though." She smiles wickedly, "You will never get ill. You will never have a child until you desire one, you will age slowly and for the next few hundred years, you will have the time of your life."

"Hundred years?" I whisper.

"Sex, sexuality, sex appeal and sexual desire are your weapons, defenses and livelihood." She stands and seems to float away from me and to the window. "You will be damaged, as a human could be, but there will be no scars. Your body will not accept anything but perfection."

My hand goes to my neck. The collar had left me with cuts, welts and bruises, but I had no scars. Nowhere on my body did I have a scar. Even the cut lip from where Stewart had struck me healed perfectly.

"The one thing you have to fear are those who wish to possess you. They will be desperate to keep you. They will lie, cheat, steal and kill to get you. Therefore, no one can know what you are. You can never allow what you are capable of to become known, or all of those you love will be in danger."

"Why?"

"Would you give yourself up freely to anyone who held a gun to Nardo's head?" I open my mouth in shock. I nod.

"Yes," I reply in a low whisper.

"That is why you must never reveal your abilities to anyone. Not even those you love enough to give yourself to. Loss of your love can turn someone into a desperate person. Even your own family." I look from her to Cruz. "I'm sure you were the family favorite?"

I must look guilty. Diana smiles. I know that this fact had a lot to do with the animosity Millie had for me. It's wasn't her fault. It was mine. It was something I had no control of. I suddenly feel sorry for Millie. And I miss her.

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When I go home for a visit, I need to make it up to her. I smile at the thought of seeing my family again.

"You must always be aware of the effect you have on men of any age. And you must always be aware of those watching you, for as many are the men that will love you, there are twice as many women that will hate you." Millie and Phillip.

"You have the balance of you and those you inspire. If you give and do not take, you will be overcome. Exhaustion is almost always a factor and when you're too exhausted to defend yourself.., well, it's not a good scenario."

I think of fainting with Cord. One second I was okay and the next I was lying beneath him, basically helpless. I never wanted to be in that situation again.

"We have a lot of work to do." Diana stands and looks about. "A walk. Walk with me in the garden and you can ask me all the questions you want. I'll answer them and tell you what you need to do. How to do it and what to expect."

I stand to follow and notice Cruz frowning. Diana looks at him before heading to the garden. I stand waiting. He looks at me and nods. I practically skip out the door.

"What are you doing?" I jump. I thought I was alone.

"Nothing." I quickly say to Patsy with my face burning red.

I had been dancing and caught sight of my profile. Standing on pointe I had been examining my bust, my hips and my butt. I had never really looked at myself. Now I was trying to see what men would see. I had a very small bust, a small waist and no junk in my trunk. I had the figure of a child. I was still a child.

"They're coming in." Patsy plops down on floor giving me a critical eye. "Slowly. You sure you're gonna be fourteen?"

"Yes. I'm sure." I sit before her.

The one thing I can be sure of is that Patsy is honest. To a fault. I think this is why so many kids at her school hate her. She sees it as jealousy of her high intelligence. I want to tell her that kids could care less about that, popular is popular, but then I would have to explain about my past experience and I don't want to.

"Have you talked to Dr. Cruz about when you're going to go to a real school?" She's as anxious as I am about my return to formal education. She's hopeful that I can attend hers. I think she believes me to be an ally in her disastrous life.

"He says when we get back from our trip, I can take some tests and we'll go from there." I stretch my legs out before me.

"You go on a lot of trips!" Patsy was very upset that I had left without telling her. And that I wouldn't give her details of my trip other than I had gone

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to the beach.

"Cruz has to travel with his work and I get to tag along," I shrug.

"Last time my family went on a trip it was to a funeral!" Patsy frowns, "I have such a boring life!"

"Now! But when you blossom, you are going to set the world on its ear!" I tease. She stretches her mouth widely and makes horrid faces. She's had her braces tightened and is annoyed. And more than likely, will be annoying. "Once you get the grill out of your mouth, you'll have the best smile ever!"

"I need more than a winning smile," Patsy falls back on the floor. "I need about twenty pounds, boobs, a butt and my head shaved and really gorgeous hair plugs put in!"

"I think you look wonderful!"

"You don't even think you look good!" she accuses.

"So?"

"So you are gorgeous! Not will be, but you are!" Patsy frowns. "When you come to school, everyone will love you and you'll forget all about ugly old me!"

"No, I won't." I sound as sincere as I can. "I'll need you to help me with my studies!" We both laugh.

"Are you going to be a cheerleader?" Patsy asks suddenly.

"No. I don't do well in front of crowds." I fall back on the floor with her. "I'm shy."

"No, you're Shyane." Patsy giggles. I laugh with her.

"Are you going to try for cheerleader?"

"No. They'd only let me be the beaver. I hate our mascot! I think it's wimpy. Why couldn't we be the tigers, bears, lions, wolves…"

"Or something else that will eat you alive?" I add to the rant.

"Yeah, not something that boys want to eat!" She looks over at me and we burst out laughing.

We had been joking about sexual things since my return. I had a feeling that Patsy had a crush, but she wasn't ready to share with me and I accepted that. I wasn't ready to share Cord with her. She's my best friend and I'm afraid to tell her anything.

"When do you leave?" she asks, not looking at me.

"Tomorrow." I smile to myself. "I'll be back late Sunday."

"So Monday after school I can come by?" Her voice is low.

"What's wrong, Patsy?" I sit up to look down at her.

"I asked this boy to the school dance next Friday." She sits up. "I tutor him. He's on the football team and he's cute. We're going as friends. His girlfriend is going to be out of town and he doesn't want to ask anyone so I offered to be his arm candy for the night."

"Great!" I'm happy for her.

"Well, not so great," she pouts at me.

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"Why?"

"I can't dance."

"I can teach you," I say quickly.

"That's the problem!" She says in the most exasperated way.

"Huh?"

"I want to dance like kids, not like a prima ballerina!" She huffs. "Can you dance like normal kids?"

"I can." I smile at her. "And I can teach you!"

"I didn't mean to sound so bitchy," she pouts again, "I just know that everyone is going to be making fun of me anyway and I don't want my lack of dancing skills to add to the mockery. What was I thinking? I'm going to be the laughing stock!"

"You won't." I assess her. "Do you have contacts?"

"For my eyes?"

"No, for your boobs!" I tease.

"I do, but I don't wear them,"

"Why not?"

"What's the use?" The sadness hurts my heart.

"The use is I want you to wear them. I'll help fix your hair and makeup and all you have to do is flash the ten megawatt smile and you should be fine."

"You think?" Patsy looks skeptical.

"I know." I lean in to hug her. "You're my best friend and I won't let anyone tease you."

"Shyane, I'm your only friend." We both laugh at that. "I wish you could go." She moans.

"Not possible unless Cruz enrolls me next week. Then I have to con some poor fellow into taking me."

"Well, there is another way." Pasty sits back to smile at me. "If Dr. Cruz will let you."

"Let me what?" Now I am suspicious. Sebastian runs in and flops down between us.

"Go with my brother." I look at her. She has always told me she's the third of five, but it never occurred to me that any of the other four were boys.

"You have a brother?"

"I have three. Two older and one younger, then me and my sister. She's just five."

"How old is your brother?" I ask slowly.

"Joe is twenty. He's at college. David is eighteen. He's a senior, and then Simon is six minutes younger than me." She smiles. "He's my twin."

"Twin?" I squeak. The idea of going to a dance with a female Patsy is not appealing.

"Not identical. Fraternal. Chill out, he looks nothing like me." I feel bad

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that she could so easily read my reaction.

"Well, I could ask." I decide that I like Patsy enough to go on a double date with her and her twin. "Will your brother agree to it?"

"Sure, he just got dumped. Taking you would be a coup."

"Really?"

"She's a cheerleader and a bitch."

"Hate her?"

"You have no clue. Simon broke up with her because she was making fun of me. I feel kind of bad and I told him I'd ask you. He won't ask anyone from school because she's so damn mean."

"Who is?" Cruz asks from the doorway.

"Come in!" I offer and he does. He's wearing a suit and tie but comes to sit on the floor with us. "I have a favor to ask."

"Ask." He smiles at us. I hear a deep sigh from Patsy. I look over to find her grinning at Cruz in the most annoying way. She has a crush on Cruz! "Shyane?" Cruz reaches out to tap my knee with his hand. "What is it?"

"Can I double date with Patsy next Friday? With her and her twin brother, Simon?"

"Date?" Cruz doesn't even try to hide his shock. "You?"

"Well, he's hetero, so yeah, me."

"Not funny." Cruz scowls at me and then looks at Patsy and her goofy grin. "I want to meet this boy first. Once we get back. You need to get ready for dinner and pack. Say goodnight to Patsy and come up to the house." He stands and winks a Patsy. I listen to the air leave her body. As soon as Cruz leaves she falls to the floor in exaggerated weakness.

"You got a crush on my dad?" I hiss.

"So he is your dad!"

"Yes!" I giggle. It doesn't feel weird for me to admit.

"You're lucky he's so handsome. My Dad actually looks like a dad. Frumpy." She makes a face and we laugh. "Your Dad is sexy!"

"EW!" I can't think of Cruz as sexy. I feel sick claiming Cruz as my father. I can't wait to see Daddy.

I pack just the barest of needs. I don't want to take too much. But I do pack my glove and ball. I wonder if Daddy will be happy to see me or if he'll be afraid of what trouble I will bring upon them. I'm unsure about going back, but I don't know how to go forward without going back.

Dinner is nice and uneventful. Cruz has invited Patsy and we go to a nice restaurant for my birthday. Patsy gives me a music CD and Cruz gives me a lovely pendant with sapphires and diamonds, my birthstone. We discuss a lot of things, except my return home. Patsy talks up a storm and I'm grateful for the distraction. Once we get home, we have cake and ice cream with Mrs. Ellis,

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Mrs. Potter, Charles, Richard, Dr. Brooks and Sebastian.

I hate that Dr. Brooks is there. I had hoped for some time alone with Cruz. I want to ask questions. I want to ask how he feels about my mother. Does he love her? Did he love her? Does she love him? Did she ever love me? Did she ever love my daddy? I want to ask Cruz how he really feels about me. I feel the need to be reassured. As I finish my cake, I see him and Dr. Brooks head to the study. So much for that.

I go to my room and sit on my bed, letting the questions bounce around in my head. After a while, I hear the sound of a car and look out the window to see Dr. Brooks leaving. She hasn't stayed the night in a long time. I have a feeling she blames me for that. And I feel bad for messing up the relationship, if there was one. Although Cruz doesn't seem to be bothered by her absence.

Sebastian moans and jumps on the bed. I hug him and kiss him. He lets me rub his belly and wiggles happily as I tickle him. Between me and Patsy he's not lacking for attention. Sometimes I think he likes her more than he likes me. I kick my bag to the floor and crawl in the bed to lay with him. He curls up next to me and I'm almost asleep when I hear Cruz calling me. I yawn and trudge down to the study.

"Phone call," Cruz nods to the phone that sits on the desk.

"Who is it?" I ask walking over to pick it up. Cruz only smiles. I pick it up. "Hello?" I say.

"Hello? How about I miss you?" the voice laughs.

"Cord!" I squeal and fall into a chair.

"You remember!" he teases.

"How could I forget?" I gush.

"Well, I've been thinking of you so much that my heart and head ache in a chorus of sadness."

"That is so poetic!" I can't help but melt at his words.

"It's how I feel." His voice is husky, "I miss you like I've never missed anyone."

"I miss you too," I whisper. "How's school?"

"You mean how's Amber?" he scoffs.

"Well, maybe," I bite my lip.

"Don't bite your lip," he says.

"How did you…"

"You always bite it when you're embarrassed."

"Oh." I sigh deeply, closing my eyes so that I can picture him in my mind.

"I really miss you, and I wanted to be there to wish you a happy birthday. How was it?"

"Dinner, a necklace, cake and ice cream."

"Sounds great, sorry I missed it. I'll have to make it up to you. I miss you."

"I miss you too." We sit in silence.

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"I think maybe we talk a lot more when we're face to face," he chuckles.

"I don't know what to say."

"I know. When we're together we have so much to say." He sounds flustered. "I passed. I played for them and I got to stay in school here."

"That's good, isn't it?"

"Nardo says you're going to go to the school there. I wanted you to come here. With me." I feel my heart begin to speed up.

"That would be a bad idea."

"Why?" I hear the anguish in his voice.

"Because then you and I would be like you and Amber. I'm not ready for that."

"To be the talk of the school?" he teases.

"To be in your bed," I counter.

"Oh, yeah, that would happen," he chuckles, "at least, I hope it will." I bite my lip.

"So you've seen Amber?"

"How can I miss her? I've got her in three different classes and she's been hanging around the studios. I haven't spoken to her. I'm getting good at ignoring her. I just think of you." I blush from head to toe.

"Cruz says that you guys are going to be going away for the weekend? I was going to call you Saturday."

"You can't. Sorry." I don't want to add Cord to my family. I only want to deal with my family this weekend.

"When will you be home?" His voice is low.

"Late Sunday."

"I miss kissing you," I hear him almost whisper.

"I miss being kissed by you." We sound so damn corny I want to puke.

"I have to go," Cord moans. "I got to study for an exam."

"Music? Composition?"

"Calculus." I moan. I hate math.

"I have to take some tests to see where I am in school."

"You sound scared." His voice is soothing.

"I was away so long I kind of wonder if I forgot it all."

"Away? You mean held captive," Cord sighs. "Shy, I'd like to find that man and kill him for what he did to you." My heart swells at the sincerity of his words. "Shy, I love you."

"You don't know me," I reply.

"I do." I think of what Diana has told me and know I can't do this to him.

"Goodnight, Cord," I say quickly.

"I'll call you next week when I get a chance," he says just as quickly. "Take care of yourself."

"I will."

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"Shy?"

"Yeah?"

"Dream of me?" I hear the line go dead. I sit holding the phone and feeling all warm and fuzzy inside.

Diana warned me of this. I set the phone in its cradle and headed for my room. Cruz is coming from the kitchen with a fresh cup of coffee. He pats me on the head absentmindedly and I hug him. This takes him by surprise. He sets the cup on the table in the hallway and holds me.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"I'm fine." I hold him tighter. "I'm afraid."

"Of going home? Facing them?"

"No, I just.., Cord said he loved me."

"Oh, and you're thinking of what Diana said?" I nod.

"You won't see him until Thanksgiving or Christmas. Try and get through this weekend first. We'll deal with the rest later." I nod again. "Go to bed." He kisses the top of my head and I climb the stairs to my room.

Sebastian is waiting for me. I change into a short nightgown and brush my hair and teeth. While I'm washing my face I see my dog watching me with concern. I open my bedroom door and turn off the lights. I climb into bed, hug Sebastian and dream of Cord.

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The

Guardian

Shy moans in her sleep. Her breathing is erratic. She flops onto her back and moans again. Sebastian sits up. He starts to bark a warning and stops. She isn't having a nightmare! She's dreaming! A nice spicy dream. Sebastian whimpers and licks her face in hopes of waking, her only to have her shove his face away with one word escaping her lips.

"Cord!" she gasps as her hand moves from her neck on down.

Cord? Sebastian pushes her hand away from her lower region. He nuzzles her and she moans. He sniffs and rolls his eyes. She's wet! Down there! She's dreaming of that little snot! She's having an erotic dream! Sebastian bites her wandering hand hard and she sits up yelping.

"Sebastian!" She runs a hand over her face and falls back into the bed. "You just ruined a wonderful dream!" she moans.

Sebastian moves to lay his head on her chest but she rolls from him. Now she's lying on her side with her back to him. He tries to nuzzle in under her arm and she pushes him away. She pushed him away! For that little snot?

Sebastian jumps from the bed and runs down to the study. His front paws hit the top step and the change begins. By the time he reaches the ground floor, Sebastian is a man. A tall, hulking, handsome, naked man.

"You might want to put something on." Cruz is sitting at his desk, going over papers. "You'll frighten the women."

"She's up there rubbing herself over that little asshole of a godson of yours!" Sebastian hisses.

"What?" Cruz looks up from his paperwork.

"Did he…" Sebastian fights for control over his anger, "did that little fuck fuck her?"

"No!" Cruz stands and walks over to the bar to pour himself a drink. "At least, I don't think so."

"You don't think so?"

"No, I'm sure. Diana said Shy told her that she had never had sex. Not yet."

"Well she smells pretty damn ripe to me!" Sebastian takes the glass offered and gulps it down.

"You sniffed her?"

"Well, yeah! Nardo! She's so wet right now I could slide right in and take it from her!"

"Bastian!"

"Nardo, I'm not kidding. Geez! She's on her back rubbing herself and calling out to him. What the hell went on with those two? I thought you said you watched that little bastard!"

"Bastion, they didn't." Cruz refills both glasses and both of them down the liquor. "At least, I hope they didn't!"

"So do I!" Bastian falls into a chair. "I've been sleeping with her every

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night and this is a first for her. I mean, she dreams and whines, but it's in fear. This ain't fear. This is desire. Damn hot desire!"

"She's a child." Cruz warns as he refills the glasses. "My child!"

"Damn you Nardo for dragging me into this." Sebastian runs his hand through his unruly hair. He lifts his hairy leg to scratch the other hairy leg vigorously.

"If you start licking your own ass I'm tossing you out." Cruz falls into a chair across from his friend.

"You asked me for a favor: go to the otherworld and find her. I did. You should have let me alone. But no! Then you ask me for another, to be her guardian! To be her pet!" He scratches his hairy chest, pushing the pendant on the chain away from his chest. "Shit! I let her put a leash on me to go for a damn walk! And I enjoyed it!"

"I appreciate it all, Sebastian. You are one of my oldest friends and one of the few that I can trust with her."

"Well, you may want to rethink that trust. I think I'm in love with her." Sebastian downs the alcohol in one gulp.

"Bastian!"

"I can't help it! I sleep with her! Every night! I watch her dress, bathe and, God help me, brush out that hair! It's driving me crazy!"

"You promised to never let her see you in this form," Cruz warns coldly.

"And I won't. I can't. She'd be disgusted with me. Lord help me, I wish I'd been neutered years ago!"

"I might do it for you!" Cruz warns.

"Nardo! You know I won't betray your trust, but I don't know how long I can keep this up!" Sebastian holds out his glass.

"Bastian, if you have to go, then go. I'll think of something to tell her." Cruz takes the glass and refills them both again. "But you can't do this. Not to her or to me."

"I'm not doing anything yet!" Sebastian groans. "But I'm going to be humping every leg I can! Damn it, Nardo! She was rubbing herself! I could smell her! I could almost taste her…"

"Stop!" Cruz orders.

"I know. I'm sick, but my animal instinct is way over the top. Nardo, she's in season!"

"Bastian!"

"Quit yelling my name!" Sebastian stands and begins to pace. "Why didn't you tell me that she was a muse?"

"I didn't know. Not until Malcolm told me."

"Malcolm! That idiot felt it! He kissed her!" Sebastian hisses.

"Look, just tell me if you can continue." Cruz asks.

"You think I'd leave her now? You really think you can tell me to leave

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and I would?" Cruz glares at Sebastian. "Don't go all red eyed demon from hell on me either. It won't work. I'm in love and if she chooses me, then I'm going to be ready."

"For what? A walk?" Cruz grumbles.

"No, maybe a bath. I like bathing with her."

Cruz set the glass down on the bar with a bang.

"Give me a break! I'm all cutesy and furry. She just hugs and kisses me. I ain't got a chance in hell as long as I'm in the fluffy suit."

"Then stay in the fluffy suit or I'll skin you," Cruz snarls.

"What about the other zillion inhabitants of this world and the other? She's going to offer herself up to someone. They'll accept and then what?"

"It might be better if it's someone from this world. And soon." Cruz pours himself another drink.

"Why? So the other world won't want her? A virgin there isn't as valuable. Peter won't want her. Just the other zillion who would love to bed her. Including your damned godson!"

"Cord is not a bad kid." Cruz sips his drink.

"No, but he's human. You really want her to go through that? Love, loss and heartache?"

"It's all part of living."

"In this world." Sebastian stands and gulps down his drink. He hands his glass to Cruz. "She's not of this world. You know that as well as I do."

"I couldn't protect her from that animal, Peter, but I can sure try and give her a normal life."

"Do you think that little shrimp knew that she was special? Is that why he chose her?"

"I know it." Cruz pours more liquor.

"We're going to get drunk," Sebastian warns, taking his full glass. "That's never good for us."

"I know." Cruz sits back down. "I sometimes wonder if Peter had a hand in me sleeping with Susan."

"Shy's mom? How?"

"I don't know. He could see lights of the future but this was a part that could have been orchestrated."

"If he did, then he would know where she is. He doesn't. He's looking, but he hasn't found her. And he can't go to her family. Their debt to him has been paid. He can't do anything to them, not without repercussions. He can't even appear to them. It would be disastrous. Are you sure letting her go visit them is a good idea?"

"No. But that's why I'm sending you with her." Cruz sighs. "You and the three stooges."

"Not them!" Sebastian moans.

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"They'll watch the outside. You stay with her and keep an eye on her. She's right. To go forward, she has to go back."

"She's never going to let them go. She loves them. No matter what they did." Sebastian drinks more. "It's going to be a long night if we keep thinking on this. Why don't we talk of something fun?"

"Like?"

"Diana!" Sebastian is baiting him.

"No!" Cruz shakes his head.

"Nardo! You and her were lovers forever, and then…"

"I was there!"

"So was I!" Sebastian laughs. "It was a really long time ago. Why would you call on her? Did you think she'd forgive and forget?"

"No, actually I had hoped she would take pity on me. I don't know what to do to help Shyane. The more she comes into her own, the more she'll need guidance. Diana is the best there is. She hasn't survived this long by not being educated on the ways of the world."

"Or being so gorgeous."

"Look, I had to turn to someone, and like you, I trust Diana." Cruz leans back in the chair.

"And Cord?"

"I didn't want her to meet Cord. Ever. I took a chance and this is what I get," he grumbled, bitterly.

"Nardo, you probably just put your daughter into his bed. He's madly in love with her. And that will only get worse. And I know this because she's up there rubbing herself and calling out to him. It's probably safe to say that she's got a thing for him too."

"I know." Cruz walks to the bar and brings the entire bottle back with him. Sebastian holds out his cup. Cruz fills it, then flops down. "Still, I will not have you going around sniffing crotches, or humping anything. You will have to control yourself. Especially around Shyane."

"Alright. I'll try," Sebastian sighs, guzzles his drink. With big puppy dog eyes, he holds out his empty glass.

"And if you can't?" Cruz holds out the bottle of liquor.

"I'll leave." Cruz pours and they both drink.

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The

Visit

We didn't call. We couldn't risk someone other than family knowing that I was coming. I had to be discreet and only stay on the farm. I was okay with that. I wanted to see my family. Richard drove the rental car up the drive. By this time, I was ready to explode with anticipation.

"Go!" Cruz commands and opens the door. Sebastian leaps from the car and runs. I watch through the tinted window as my dog races around the perimeter of my family's home, looking for anything supernatural. He jumps into the underbrush and finally emerges with his tongue hanging out. He barks at us and Cruz nods to Richard.

Daddy's in the driveway, working on the truck. The hood is up and he wipes his hands on a rag as we walks towards us. I'm holding so tightly to the door handle that it groans. Richard gets out and opens the door. Mommy comes out onto the porch. Cruz steps out of the car and stands.

I watch my mother's face. She's shocked. First her jaw drops open, and then she looks to my Daddy, guiltily. So it's true! Well, that question was easily answered. Cruz has told me to wait for his signal, so I wait. Mommy and Daddy walk to Cruz, holding hands. They look as if they're afraid they'll fall over if they let go of each other.

I watch them talk. Introduce each other and shake hands. Daddy looks confused. Mommy looks terrified. I watch her hand go to her ear and tug at her earrings. She's always done that when she's upset. I watch anxiously. Mommy suddenly grasps Daddy's arm and then runs to the car. Richard stops her. Daddy moves to her.

I hear her screaming my name, but I find myself looking at Cruz, who looks devastated. He turns, squares his shoulders and signals to me. I step out of the car. Richard lets them pass and they are both running towards me.

I am swept into the air and kissed, hugged and smothered. I hug Daddy, but watch Mommy's face as Cruz steps past them and leans into the car. He hands my bag to Richard and climbs in. Richard carries my bag to the porch. Daddy sets me down and I run to the car. I lean in to face Cruz. He looks sad.

"You are coming back?" I ask.

"Do you want me to?" His eyes fix on mine. I see the uncertain fear there and it's unsettling.

"Promise?" I beg.

"I thought you wanted this?"

"I do!" I look back at my parents. "But I'm yours!" My voice cracks under the panic. "You said so."

"I will be here at two on Sunday. Please be ready. Remember the rules," Cruz warns. "Don't make me have to spank you."

"I'll be good," I promise. "But you will be back for me?"

"Of course. If you need me call." I lean in and hug him. He holds me close, kisses the top of my head and pushes me away. I feel strangely terrified

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as the car disappears.

"Shyane?" I turn to find Grandpa coming from the house. His hair is short and it makes him look so different. A smile breaks across his face and I run to hug him. He falls to his knees and I dive into his arms.

"I'm home," I whisper in his ear as I hug him.

"What happened?" I ask, picking up the dresses from the bed.

"Millie wanted those and your father pitched a fit." Mommy helps me hang up my clothes. "She was like a damn scavenger vulture."

"The same day I left?" I giggle.

"No," Mommy hands me a hanger. "The next."

"How is she?" I ask.

It's the first chance we've had to talk. I spent the morning with Daddy and Grandpa. My grandfather and I sat on the ground for a long time holding on to each other. Daddy and I worked on the truck, then we played catch with Mommy sitting on the porch, watching us.

We had lunch and sat smiling at each other. I look at the clock and know that everyone is at work or school, so I have time before we're invaded. I stare at the covered cake dish. Mommy cut me a big chunk of chocolate cake.

"It's your birthday cake," Daddy comments as I take a bite out of it. "We sort of celebrated."

"Thanks!" I grin with my teeth covered in chocolate. Grandpa laughs. Daddy leans over to kiss my forehead.

"I'm going to tell Jerome, Bradley and Charlotte. Expect a houseful for dinner." Daddy kisses Mommy's forehead and leaves. I watch their interaction. I think they like each other more now that I'm not around.

Grandpa excuses himself, sensing that Mommy and I have a few things that need to be put on the table. Right next to my chocolate cake. I fidget with the last bit. Mommy sips her coffee. She tugs at her earrings. We say nothing for a long time.

"You know?" she asks.

"Cruz told me." I set my fork down. "Sort of."

"What else has he told you?" Her voice is crisp.

"I can't stay," I sigh. "It could be dangerous." She nods and brushes a tear away. "But I can visit. Not too often." Again she nods and I wait.

"I meant to only be with him that one time," Mommy says. Now, she's twisting her wedding band.

"To conceive me?"

"Yes. I knew I could do it." Her tear-brimmed eyes lock on mine. "I was very good at lying to myself. Or at least, I thought I was. No one even knew until I was in my sixth month. Your father was so excited!" She wipes away her tears, smiling.

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"Even though I wasn't his?"

She looks away.

"Yes. Maybe more so." Susan wants scotch. She peers into her coffee cup. I know what she's thinking and watch her. It's too early for alcohol. It's time for truth. "I never wanted to lay eyes on you." I feel the knife twist in my heart. "But Charles couldn't take his eyes off you. He never did."

"I remember more about him than you."

"You would, because I was so afraid of loving you and having to let you go." We sit staring at each other. Neither one of us wants to give in to the other. I refuse to cry, especially over her. "I wasn't a very good mother to you." Her confession seems to ease her pain. It only increases my anger. "I guess I really didn't try until you got older."

"Do you love Cruz?" I ask coldly.

"I care for him. I think I do, or did, I'm not sure." Mommy wipes her tears away.

"And Daddy?"

"I always have and will love your father." Mommy says with conviction, "He's always known, I don't know how, but he has. He never said a word until I went looking for Nardo. You father is a man who believes in my abilities."

"Cruz is very supportive to me too."

"Not Nardo, Charles." Mommy picks up her fork and picks at my cake. "Why do you call him Cruz?"

"I just do," I shrug.

"Your father, Charles, is the man I love, live with and the man that's your father. Don't you ever forget that. No matter what Nardo does for you, Charles is your father."

I nod in total agreement.

"Did you only sleep with him that once?" I ask, coldly. Mommy gets up, walks to the dining room and returns with the scotch. She pour some into her cup and guzzles it.

"I meant to, but the next year he was there and… every year at the conference. We met and spent the time together." She pours more and drinks. I sit, waiting. "I never told your father. Of course, he knew there had been someone else, but he never said a word. And when you were born and given to us, he was overjoyed."

"You weren't," I accuse.

"No, I wasn't. I knew that you would be taken. I thought if I wasn't attached to you, it would be easier."

"Was it?"

"It was a hundred times worse." Her voice wavers. "Horribly worse. I couldn't bear it. I went mad and ran to Nardo. I told him everything. He was so angry." Mommy pours more scotch. "I never thought I would see him again."

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She drinks and smiles. "When he stepped out of that car, I was sure he was coming to tell me you had been killed."

"Are you upset I wasn't?"

I asked because I want to know. Mommy sets the cup down with a bang. I've never made Mommy mad. Ever. Now she's mad. I sit back from the table, but I don't take my eyes off her.

"I died that day!" Mommy says, "I haven't left this house since them. Not since Nardo left me in the hotel, telling me that I was a horrible person. He's was right." She drinks more. "I've been here waiting for some word about you. Anything. I just had to know. I don't deserve to have peace but..,"

"I'm fine," I say coldly.

"How long have you been with Nardo?" I feel a weight on my foot and know that Sebastian is there. It's comforting.

"A little over three months," I reply.

"You look well." Her eyes skirt over me.

"I guess."

"And Peter?" Mommy asks in a low voice.

"He beat me, kept me locked in a room, abused me and…" I watch my mother's face contort painfully. I can't be cruel. "But he didn't rape me."

"Thank God!" Mommy declares pushing the scotch away. "I have had nothing but nightmares since you left."

So have I, I want to say. I don't. I fight not to scream at her. I realize that this has been hard on her. She's aged considerably in the past year. But then, so have I.

"Can I take a nap? I've been awake for days." I smile. "At least, it feels like it."

"Of course. Your room's in the same place." She begins to clear the table. I frown at her. I'm confused on how I should feel about her.

"I'll help." I stand and gather the dishes.

It's like I never left. We do the dishes in silence. Most of my life with my mother has been in silence. I've lived a comfortable life with my father and grandfather raising me. Mommy was always too busy. We had the occasional talk, like the one on sex, but other than that, we existed in the same house, the same world, and in silence. It's not that I didn't want to talk to her. We just never had anything to say to each other. As I put the dishes away, I realize that I have never told my mother I love her. I'm not sure I do.

"What happened?" I ask, looking at the clothes piled on my bed. The drawers are shut, but my closet is a mess.

"Millie." Mommy sets my bag on the bed.

"Oh!" I begin to strip my bed. Mommy insists that we wash my bedding, even though it smells clean.

"Your father washes them every week, as usual," Mommy says as she

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helps me. "I keep researching and he does the laundry. Every Friday, like clockwork. The man never misses a beat. He knew you'd come back. I prayed for it. But he knew." She leaves me and takes the bedding to the laundry room.

I wonder how that worked out. My mother praying for my return and my father simply knowing I'd return? I wondered if they would want me back. I wondered if they'd be happy with my return. I wondered if they know that my return might put them all in danger. Or if they care.

"Here!" Mommy returns with clean linens. "They aren't purple, but..," she smiles.

We make the bed in silence. I begin to put the clothes away and stop. These were gifts from Peter. I frown at them. When I packed to go with him, I made sure that I only packed clothes that were purchased by my family. Not Peter. I was going with him, but I didn't want any part of him. Not even then.

"What is it?"

"I don't need these things." I begin to fold the clothes and put them on the bed. "Can we donate these things?"

"You don't want Millie to have them?" Mommy asks.

"No. They were given to me by Peter."

She nods and leaves me.

I pull everything out of the drawers and closet. All of it. I feel as if it's evil. I go from neatly folding to tossing. The thought of touching his gifts is sickening. Mommy comes back with a box. I look at it and then at her.

"Is there a burn ban?" I ask.

"What on earth?" Daddy asks, walking up to me and Mommy. I don't have time to answer. I'm swept up into Bradley's arms as Craig and David dive in. Marianne stands, looking surprised.

"You're home!" Bradley kisses my face and head as he hugs me close.

"For a visit," I giggle and move so he puts me down. He stands, holding my face in his hands, gazing at me as if I might disappear at anytime.

"A visit? What does that mean?" His face gets dark.

"I can't stay long. It might be dangerous. For all of us." Bradley looks at his wife. "I can only stay until lunch on Sunday. Then I have to go back."

"To that other world?" Marianne asks as she smoothes my hair back. I frown. I can't tell them anything.

"I can't say anything about that. All I can say is, I'm safe." I try to smile. Bradley nods and hugs me close. I wiggle loose and hug my nephews, who seem to have grown at least a foot since I've been gone.

"Jerome will be here soon," Daddy comments, but is nodding to the barrel me and Mommy have burning. "What's with this?"

"I want nothing from him," I say. Daddy nods. Without another word he begins to stir the fire and throw more items in.

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"Go on up to the house and I'll take care of this. Charlotte and Joe will be here directly." I hug my Daddy.

"Dad only said that we needed to come home. Very hush hush." Bradley wraps an arm around my shoulder and the other around Mommy's and we walk to the house. "I thought he was going to tell us something boring!"

I hug him and looking back, I see Marianne hustling her boys inside as she looks about the area. I realize that they want me in the house. Out of sight. I understand. I'm just as scared. Sebastian runs ahead of us. I see Grandpa and Daddy talking over the burning barrel. They look so serious, then they smile at each other and then they laugh. It's okay.

We all sit in the kitchen, the men talking as Mommy and Marianne and I get dinner going. The boys roll around on the floor with Sebastian, who is more than willing to act like a fool for food. I answer what questions I can and we laugh. Bradley keeps touching me as I pass by, patting my arm, or my head or hugging me. It's like he can't believe it's really me.

"So, the dead do rise?"

I look up from mashing the potatoes to see Millie glaring at me. Well, some things never change. I smile anyway. Charlotte runs to hug me. Joe stands looking shocked. Timothy and Marcus join in on the hugging. I'm hugging and kissing them and feeling Millie's eyes boring holes in me.

Once again, I end up explaining that it's just a visit and that I'm fine, but I can't tell them too much. For their own safety. Charlotte cries as she hugs me. Joe keeps patting me on the back. I feel Bradley caressing my head. They really did miss me. I look up to see Millie frowning. Well, most of them did.

"What's wrong with you, Sourpuss?" David asks, shoving Millie as he passes her in the doorway.

"Nothing!" Millie snaps.

"She's just jealous!" Craig shoves her too and she really frowns at them.

"Leave her alone," I order, moving to stand between both boys. They hug me and ignore her. I look over to see that she's fighting not to cry. Again, I have made her miserable by just being me. I reach back and take her hand in mine. She snatches it away and turns to leave.

"Chill out!" Daddy warns her as he blocks her escape. I give him a pleading look, but he ignores it. "We have her for two days and I will not have you ruining that for us. So behave, or you won't sit for a very long time. Understand?"

"Grandpa I just..,"

"You will just sit down at that table and keep your pout and cruel words to yourself." Daddy pushes her towards the dining room and she stomps out of sight. I frown at Daddy. "Don't you give me any attitude or I'll bust your tail too," He warns.

Although I can count the number of times my father has spanked me on

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one hand, I don't doubt he'd do it again. I turn my attention back to the boys. Sebastian has everyone's attention and he loves it. He is getting snacks from everyone and is petted so much that I fear he may go bald. He hasn't a care in the world.

Jerome steps into the room and smiles broadly. He makes the sign of the cross and kisses my forehead. I fall into his arms and cry for the first time since I returned home. I never really doubted my faith, but to see the man of God before me is too much. Jerome holds me up.

"Hear my confession?" I beg.

"After dinner." He's crying too. I nod and hurry back to the kitchen to help.

We sit down to dinner as a family. The last time we were all together, I was leaving. This is a happier time. Jerome gives thanks for all of us, making my return the main point. I sit between my mother and father and laugh as we enjoy a wonderful meal. Aside from Millie's long face, it's wonderful.

"Want to sleep over?" I ask Millie as everyone gets ready to leave. She looks sad and frustrated but nods. "Can she?" I ask Charlotte, who hasn't been a foot from me since she came home.

"Millicent, you had better behave or Granddad is going to blister your bottom." Charlotte hugs me, then Millie.

"And I'll give it another go," Joe adds, kissing my forehead and then Millie's. "Behave!"

"She will!" Daddy declares.

I hate when they all pick on Millie. I hug and kiss everyone goodbye and move to sit on the front porch with Jerome. He's waiting patiently for me. I sit next to him. Sebastian comes to lay his head in my lap. I rub his ears. Sebastian sighs heavily. Jerome leans back and gazes up at the stars.

"Bless me Father," I sigh, looking over at Jerome, "for I have sinned." Sebastian sits up, as if confused.

"My child," Jerome whispers as tears roll down his cheek. "I have missed you so much. My faith has faltered because of you and I don't think I am worthy of giving you absolution."

"Your teaching kept my faith alive. You are the only one who as ever heard my confessions. I don't think I could trust another. You are my priest." I smile at him. "So I ask you, Father to bless me, because I have sinned."

Jerome sits forward, wipes the tears from his face and smiles. He looks at me and then the heavens. I know this is hard for him, but like me, he must go back to go forward. I reach out to take his hand and squeeze it. He nods.

"When was your last confession, my child?" he asks in a choked voice. I close my eyes and let it all sink in.

"So you live in a big house?" Millie asks.

"Sort of. I live in the attic." I grin. "Kind of out of the way."

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"Alone?" Her eyes are huge.

"Yeah, me and Sebastian. It's pretty scary at times. I have some bad nightmares." I lean over to hug my dog, who has taken up half my bed. "He's always with me. He keeps the bad dreams away." I kiss my dog and he whines. I scratch his belly and he moans blissfully.

"So it's only you? You're the only kid there?" I nod. "Lucky you! I still have the runts underfoot! I wish we could trade places!"

"No, you don't," I shake my head.

"You get everything. I bet Peter gives you anything you want!"

"No Millie, he doesn't. It's not what you think. He was mean and he's… you don't want any part of this. We still have to be careful. No one can know I'm here. I just had to come back and let you all know that I'm fine."

"I bet it's wonderful! I bet it's like everything you want. I would trade places with you! In a second!"

"Millie, you can't even think that!" I move to sit next to her. "I wouldn't want what happened to me to happen to you. It was..," I shudder. "It was terrible."

"Was it just sex?" Millie asks. I shake my head. "I've done it!" Millie hisses to me. "It ain't so bad."

"What are you talking about?" I ask.

"I had sex. Me and Phil. It was pretty damn good!" She giggles at me.

"Why?" I ask.

"I wanted to know what you were doing," she replies simply. "I wanted to be ready in case he came back to take me."

"He won't come for you," I snap. "If he does, I'll kill him!"

"Why do you want to keep it all from me?" She glares at me.

"Because!" I begin to tremble. "I was beaten. I was tied like an animal and… No, not you." I climb from the bed.

"Was it really horrible?" Millie asks in a small voice.

"Very." I shoo Sebastian from the bed and turn it down. Millie climbs into the bed with me. Sebastian takes his place at the foot of the bed with his head on my legs.

"And you're going back to that?"

"I have to go back." I snuggle down in the bed. "So you and Phil?" I ask hoping to take her mind off me.

"Yes! We're in love!" She sighs. "He's crazy about me. We spend all our time together and it's wonderful. Our sex life is so …,"

"Wonderful?"

"Yes! He thinks only of me and..," she smiles at me. In the shadowy room her smile is frightening. "I love him as much as he loves me. It's wonderful."

I lay in bed listening to her go on and on about Phil. It's nice. On this one subject she is a priority. I really don't listen. I try and set everything right in my

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mind. Now I want to sleep, but Millie isn't ready. I listen to her drone on about herself. It's comforting, in a bizarre way.

I'm with Millie, running. We are running from Peter. Millie keeps trying to go back and I drag her after me. He's getting closer. I try to make Millie run but she won't. We stop and argue. I need her to hurry and she's pulling away from me. The sky goes from blue to purplish red. He's right behind us. I scream at Millie but she only fights me. I fall and when I get up, Peter has her by the throat.

I sit up in bed and stifle a scream. Millie is fast asleep next to me. Snoring. I climb from the bed and fight for air. I can't breathe. Sebastian is looking at me. I shake my head and leave the room. My dog follows me. I run out onto the porch and fall to my knees. The air is crisp and cool. Sebastian is next to me. I rub his head. He barks and then hurries back into the house. I'm surprised at how easily he leaves me, but then I feel a hand on my back.

"Are you alright, little dancer?" I sit up to find Malcolm next to me. I'm very glad he's there.

"I had a nightmare," I explain. I'm still trembling.

"Are you cold?"

"Scared. I don't think I do very well under pressure."

"You do just fine." Malcolm sits next to me. He puts his arm around me and hugs me. Again, I feel as if I'm dazed by his touch.

"Please, when you touch me I feel even more lightheaded." I scoot away from him.

"I know the feeling," he laughs. "You have a strange effect on me, little dancer." He looks up at the quiet house. "And a strange family."

"Not so much." We both jump and find Grandpa at the back door with a loaded gun.

"He's here to guard me," I say quickly. Grandpa nods but still steps onto the porch.

"He can guard you without touching you." My grandpa sits down in the wooden chair with the rifle trained on Malcolm.

"I can," Malcolm says, "but it's not as much fun." He winks at me and stands. "You need to go to bed, little dancer. And stay inside." He leans down to kiss my forehead. "Good night and sweet dreams." I watch Malcolm disappear into the night.

"He's a vampire," Grandpa says.

"Yes," I reply.

"Peter is not a vampire."

"I know."

"What have you become?"

I face my grandfather.

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"I'm just me, Grandpa." We stand in the darkness watching each other for some time. The rifle is not trained on me, but it's still ready. I sigh. "I don't think I should come back anymore. It's too hard on all of you."

"No, come back as often as you can." Grandpa lays the rifle across his lap. "For now, go to bed."

I walk to him and kiss his cheek. He hugs me. I leave him in the moonlight and go back to bed.

Saturday is very busy. By the end of breakfast, My game of catch with my Daddy becomes a baseball game. We have lunch in the barn on picnic tables and end up playing in the hay. Inside the barn. I know that my family is stressed by the danger that I've put them in. We laugh and giggle, but I catch them all looking about, as if expecting Peter or another Immortal to appear. Millie has a date with Phil, so I know she won't be staying the night. This will give me time alone with Mommy, Daddy and Grandpa. Time to talk.

I miss my family, but the tension is high when I'm at home with them. I know that this is it. My coming home has disrupted their lives and put them in jeopardy, again. I can't come back again. Ever. I can't put my family through this again. I have resigned myself to this fact. In fact, I am so looking forward to leaving that I don't hear the car pull up. I'm standing in the entryway when the door opens. I jump.

"Hello?" Phil pokes his head in and I squeak. Sebastian growls menacingly. "Shy?" Phil ignores my dog and leaps forward to grab me and swing me around.

"Phil!" I yell in surprise. Sebastian snaps at him and Phil backs away from him. "Whoa! Big ass dog!"

"Phil!" Millie screams as she enters the entryway. I try to get away but he has a good hold on me.

"Put me down!" I order.

"What are you doing here? When did you get home? What's going on? Are you staying? When will you be back at school?" Phil is babbling. "You've got to come back! I can't wait to tell everyone!"

"Phil!" I yell in his face just as he attempts to kiss me. I slap my hand over his mouth. He stops. "I'm just here for the weekend to see my family. Put me down!" Phil puts me down.

"You look great!" Phil says through my hand.

"Ok!" I step away from him and hurry to my father. Daddy pulls me close.

"Phil!" Millie is in his face. "I told you I was going to meet you! Why did you have to come here?"

"You were so secretive, I figured you were hiding Shyane. I just had to see her." Phil's eyes are locked on me. "Why are you all hiding her? What's up with you?"

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"Millie," Joe looks angry, "get him out of here!"

"But why?" Phil looks confused and anxious. "Why are you hiding her? What's going on?"

"Phil!" Charlotte almost screams. "You have to leave now!"

"Fine! If you won't tell me, then I'll tell everyone that she's here!" Phil's threat sends fear through the hearts of my family. It's only annoying to me.

"Geez, Phil!" I step forward. "I just came home to visit my folks. What's so special about that?"

"Why are you hiding out here?" Phil steps closer to me.

"Because this is where my family is!" I snap. "What do you care? You're dating Millie. She should be your concern, not me. Cord wouldn't like it."

"Cord?" Phil asks.

"My boyfriend," I say coldly.

"Boyfriend?" I watch Millie's face crumble. Phil still has a crush on me and that crush is crushing Millie.

"Phil," I sigh heavily. "He goes to school with me. He's a musical prodigy. He's very talented. And handsome." I lick my lips and force the next statement out. "And I love him."

"Wow!" Phil looks crushed now.

"We attend school together in Vienna." It's the only far off place I can think of, "And I'm leaving tomorrow evening to meet him. To return to school." I take a deep breath, "To our home. We live together."

"You're fourteen!" Phil cries.

"He's eighteen," I reply flippantly, "And I am an emancipated minor. It's all legal." I shrug. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have only a little time with my family before I have to leave. Tell everyone at school I said 'Hi!' and you and Millie have a great time. Night, Millie."

I hurry to the living room where the boys are setting up the Monopoly board. We laugh and argue over who gets to be which token as Phil looks on. Only when I hear the front door shut do I finally breathe easier. I look up at my father and Grandfather who are sitting on the sofa. The sofa where they have the loaded rifles ready and waiting.

"I get to be the shoe!" I declare, snatching it up. I look at my mother and nod. She hurries to call Cruz. My visit has to be cut short. I'll finish the game, but by morning, I'll be gone.

Daddy rubs my shoulder and I climb into his lap as the boys distribute the fake currency. My hand goes to the pendent I wear and I pray that Cruz will hurry. I'm afraid of who Phil will tell and what will happen. I know that once again, I've hurt Millie without meaning to and I won't get a chance to say goodbye to her, but I think it's for the best. At least, on her part.

"You will come back?" Daddy whispers in my ear. I nod, lying, and hug him. "Promise me!" He holds me tighter. "If you don't, I can't let you go."

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"I'll try. I don't know when, but I'll try," I whisper. Daddy nods and lets me go. I sit down on the floor and roll the dice.

Cruz arrives late in the night and hurries me and Sebastian away. I hugged my parents and grandfather. I promised to return soon. I lie. Cruz and I didn't talk. We just rode home. I curl up in the car and sleep in his arms. I don't cry about leaving my family. Not this time. I'm too happy to see Cruz and feel safe again.

By the time he was supposed to be picking me up at my parent's house, I'm lying in my bed at Cruz's home, feeling safe and secure. Sebastian and I curl up to nap. Cruz comes in and sits on the bed. He rubs my back gently. I sit up and crawl into his lap. His arms hold me.

"People will talk," Cruz mumbles into my hair.

"I missed you," I mumble into his neck.

"I missed you too." He kisses my head.

"It was a mistake."

"No, it was needed."

Someone once wrote that you can never go home again. I didn't know exactly what that meant, until now. Home may be where the heart is, but once you leave for a new life that home is lost to you. You can visit, but you can't go back. Not without someone getting hurt.

Cruz hugs me closer and I realize I'm trembling. He pulls my purple blanket over me and I relax. I am home.

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The

Dance

"I thought this would be easier!" Pasty is winking at her reflection. I'm behind her, brushing out her newly dyed sunshine blonde hair. Her contacts are bothering her so she winks a lot.

"Quit doing that or you're going to get a bad reputation!" I tease.

"If only!" Patsy moans.

"How long until you get used to those things in your head?"

"Years!" she giggles. "How was the trip?"

"Fine." I pick up the flat iron and go to work. "We may need to trim this. Just a bit."

"You want to cut it now?"

"Trim!" I explain. "How do you feel about bangs?"

"You've got to be kidding!" She looks at me in the mirror.

"Just think about it. Just a little bit." I frown at the uneven cut of her hair. "Who cuts your hair?"

"My mom."

"Oh!" I guess I can't bitch.

"She sucks at it," Patsy sighs.

"Patsy?"

"Huh?"

"I don't want to be nosey but…"

"How is it I live in a fancy smancy neighborhood and can't afford the finer things in life?" She's watching me in the mirror. I shrug. "We live here because my dad is the chauffer and my mom the cook. We get a house to live in and go to the best schools. It works out for everyone."

"I thought…"

"That my folks were loaded? Pish, posh and all of that? Nah! My folks are just hard working Americans. In other words: poor." Patsy continues on. "We work for the Mulroney's. A fine Irish family that owns several hundred pubs across this great land. They've no children of their own and love us to death, when they're around, which is about once every four to six months."

"Wow!"

"I know. The good thing is that I get to see my folks all the time." She grins at me.

"So this boy you're going with is who?"

"His name is Steve. He's the captain of the football team. He's totally hot and stupid. He's having a real hard time with Geometry, History and English. If his grades don't improve, we don't have a captain. So, since I'm the smartest kid in the school…"

"You tutor him." I finish.

"Yep! His girlfriend is the head cheerleader."

"Of course!" I giggle.

"She's in a beauty pageant this weekend, so I offered my services and he

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agreed. He's really nice. Dense. But nice. Oh, and did I mention, totally hot?"

"I think you did." I look at the hair and pick up the scissors. "A trim!" I clarify, holding up the scissors.

"Fine!" She closes her eyes as I trim up the back and give her long bangs. I finish with the flat iron and step back to inspect my work. Patsy looks totally different.

"Have you ever thought of modeling?" I ask seriously.

"What?" Patsy laughs.

"You have the body," I step back to look at her. "Long legs, tall, thin, angular body. You got it all."

"Yep! In all the wrong order!"

"Patsy, look!" I motion to the mirror.

Patsy stands and walks to the full length mirror. She looks at herself and turns to look at me. I can see the surprise in her eyes. Patsy looks so different. She spins around and smiles. I unplug my flat iron and set it in the bathroom.

"My folks are gonna shit!"

"I think Steve will too!" I giggle.

"Look, my brother will be by to pick you up in about an hour. Get ready. I gotta get home." Patsy grabs her stuff. "And I'm sorry about Simon."

"What about him?" I ask. I still haven't met my date.

"Well, he's a nerd and he can't dance." My heart sinks.

"Okay," I sigh.

"See you there." Patsy hurries from my room.

My stomach has been clenched tight since my return home. Now I'm going on a blind date with a nerd who can't dance. It just keeps getting better and better. I sit down to do my makeup and finish my hair.

I was accepted into the school. Brockland Beavers. I'm now a Beaver. I start school officially on Monday. After the dance, I'll attend with a nerd who can't dance. A nerd who is Patsy's twin. And although Patsy looks a lot better today, I have reservations about her brother's looks. What a way to make an entrance in a new school. Not only that. Patsy has told me that Simon's girlfriend has been trying to reconcile and he's told her he has a date. The girl, Cindy, is more than a little pissed that he has a date.

I slip into the simple lavender gown that Cruz has approved of. We sat in the shop for hours as I tried on several. All of which he nixed as too something. Too short, too low cut, too high of a slit, too low in the back, too seductive, too showy, too this, too that and so on. Finally I tried this one on and Cruz purchased it.

It's simple, covers everything and clings to my body. It's not at all what I wanted, but it's also not unattractive. It's subtle, mature and tasteful. I look in the mirror and assess myself. For once, I look older than my fourteen years.

"You look exquisite!" I turn to find Cruz smiling at me.

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"Thank you!" I curtsy to him.

"You escort is here." He frowns.

"You act like I paid for him to take me," I laugh.

"It's not that," Cruz sighs. "I just think you're a bit young to be dating. It's not that I don't trust you. I don't trust boys."

"It's a blind date, we don't even know if I'll see him again, and then again I may not want to. Is he nerdy looking?"

"Do looks matter?" Cruz asks, slightly surprised.

"No," I feel my face flush. "I just… I don't know. I get to meet all these kids on Monday. I'm not sure how I'll fit in."

"You'll fit in just fine." Cruz stands and holds out his hand to me. "The boy looks fine. You'll have a good time. Richard will drive you there and back."

"Richard?" I moan.

"An agreement I made with the young man when I met him."

"You didn't tell me how that went."

I frown. I had been forbidden downstairs when Simon accompanied Patsy to meet Cruz. I was suspicious as to what Cruz had threatened my date with. Even Patsy wouldn't tell me.

"And I won't. It's between me and the young man."

"So I'm still in protective custody?" I ask.

"You always will be." Cruz leads me down to meet my date.

"He looks like he could rip my head off with his pinkie," Simon whispers to me. I roll my eyes and smile. Richard is watching us in the rearview mirror.

To my utter surprise, Simon is extremely handsome. He is tall, thin, and not lanky, but muscular. He has the same blue eyes and blonde hair as his sister. And he has the same metal mouth smile. I think I take him by surprise also. Patsy must have told him I was homely or unattractive. He does a double take and then simply looks amazed as I descend the stairs.

"I'm Simon Calhoun," Simon holds out his hand and introduces himself, as soon as he remembers to close his mouth.

"Shyane." I pause to remember who I am. "Cruz." I take the offered hand and shake it. Simon's hand is warm and strong.

"I brought you a corsage." Simon holds out the clear box with pink carnations on it. "I didn't know what color. You know, dress" He fumbles with his words. "It's for your wrist."

"Thank you." I take the box and open it. I slide it on and smile at him.

"You'll need a wrap." Cruz is holding the cape he bought to match my dress. I frown at him. He glares and I let him set the wrap on my shoulders. "Have a nice time." He kisses my head and shakes Simon's hand.

"We're meeting Pat and Steve at Shaw's for dinner." Simon remarks as he's leading me to the front door. He opens it and I see Richard waiting by the

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car with the back door open. We climb in and the door is shut.

"He's protective of me," I whisper to my date.

"I see that." Simon is noticing the glare from the rear view mirror. "I understand why."

"Do you?"

"Yeah, you're totally hot." I blush and breathe deeply.

"Hi!" Patsy waves to us as we enter Shaw's. It's a nice little restaurant. Steve stands and turns. He is very handsome.

"Great!" Simon mumbles under his breath. I look up at him but he ignores me.

"You're Shyane?" Steve asks as I take my seat.

"Yes," I smile slightly as I settle down next to Patsy. "Shyane Cruz."

"Steve Andrews." Steve's smile is wide and more than a little on the friendly side. Patsy frowns at me and I think of Millie. "So you're the new kid? Need a guide? Our school is pretty big. If you need help, I'll be there."

I take the menu offered by the waiter and nod. I notice a lot of things. Steve babbles, ignores Patsy and makes Simon mumble under his breath. I use my menu to hide behind. I look over at Simon and he's grinning at me.

"Nervous?" he asks looking at my hand. I'm wringing my napkin as if it were dripping wet. I nod. He smiles and takes it from me, smoothes it out, lays it in my lap and takes my hand in his.

"You have to calm down and enjoy the evening."

"Why?" I ask looking around. It feels as if everyone is watching me.

"You have to."

"Do I?" I look into his eyes.

"Sure, Simon says." He winks at me and I have to smile. "How do you feel about lamb chops?" I nod quickly. "Broccoli? Applesauce? Rice? Potatoes?" I nod again quickly.

Simon folds my menu and lays it flat, exposing me to our other dinner companions. Steve still babbles at me and I ignore it as Simon leans over to whisper in my ear. He smells wonderful. My heart flutters. More so then it has with any other person that I've been this close to.

"You can only have two sides with the pork chops."

"Oh!" I smile bashfully.

"Don't eat out much?" I shake my head. "Okay, I'll tell you what, I'll order for you. How's that?" I nod quickly. "Can you at least say yes or no?"

"Yes," I whisper to him.

"Okay." He sits back. "What do you want to drink? Beer? Wine? Cognac?" I give him a confused look. "Kidding. Tea?" I nod and breathe easier. "Smile, then." He orders. "Simon says." I smile, shaking my head. Simon is not at all what I expected.

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Steve has been playing football since he could walk. His father put a football in his crib with him the day he was born and it was just meant to be. Never junior varsity, always varsity. His father, the corporate lawyer, had him training with professional football players since he was a teen. He's been lifting weights and endurance training as soon as he was old enough to enter a gym. He has had a personal trainer since ninth grade and hopes to be drafted into the NFL after two years of college. I learn all this over appetizers. Steve talks of nothing but himself and how wonderful he is.

"I thought the draft went out with Vietnam?" I ask innocently. Simon chokes on his tea, making a quick recovery with a deep cough. His hand reaches for mine under the table and he squeezes.

"No, Babe, not that kind of draft." The waitress brings our appetizers and saves me the explanation. "Later. I'll break it down for you if you like."

"Will you and Patsy be dining with us again?" I ask politely.

"Huh? Pats? Oh, my girl won't like it." He grins at Patsy, who looks lost. "Especially now. Lori had no idea how hot Patsy was under all that smart stuff or she wouldn't have agreed."

"Thanks!" Patsy snaps. "No one would know you might pass your classes under all that athletic stupor."

"Aw, Babe, you know I hate it when you call me a dumb jock in a way I don't understand!" He leans over and kisses Patsy's cheek, making her blush. "Just tell me I'm stupid and get on with it. I know I ain't no Einstein. That I can live with. Not playing football, I can't live with that."

"I'll get you through the classes if you do the work." Patsy's eyes meet mine. She's really got it bad for Steve. I shrug. He is cute and personable, as long as he's the person he's talking about.

"You do that Babe, and I'll get you season tickets." Steve winks and Patsy grins. "You look so damn not librarian! Which is kind of sexy too. I think librarians are hot." I roll my eyes at Simon. He shrugs. "Only reason I go to libraries is to look at them."

"You ready for school?" Simon asks me politely. Of course he has to talk to me when my mouth is full of spinach dip. I nod. I chew. I swallow. I nod again.

"I'm looking forward to it," I finally find my voice. "I've missed school. Homeschooling is okay but lonely."

"You an only kid?" Steve asks. I frown. What to say? I have to lie. I can't give anything away.

"Yes." I swallow as I lie.

"So the doc is your dad?"

"Yes." Not a lie but saying it bugs me just as much.

"And you just met him?" Steve is not going to calm down.

"Yes." I begin to wring my napkin again.

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"Cool!" Simon says. "Sometimes I wish I could just meet my dad."

"Dude! So true!" Steve hoots and I sigh in relief. "My mom too! They drive me nuts!"

"Is that what's wrong with you?" I ask. I look up to see everyone looking shocked.

"Good one!" Steve laughs. I blush. "You and Cindy won't get along. She's gonna hate you!"

"Wow, something to look forward to?" I sit back as my dinner is set before me. It looks delicious. And I'm hungry. I sip my tea and I cut into the delicious looking dinner.

"Yeah, she'll hate you. Smart, sexy and sassy? Oh, she's gonna make your life hell," Steve laughs.

"I've been there," I say and feel Patsy stiffen. "I can handle it. I really don't care what anyone thinks. I'm not going to be popular. I'm going for an education."

I swallow and look at my hands. I'm shaking. I set my utensils down and am tempted to run. Patsy reaches over and sets her hand on my leg. I look at her and see it in her eyes. The pity I hate. I blink back tears. Simon takes my hand in his and holds it. I look at him and find him smiling.

"I hate the whole peer love hate shit too. We'll survive together and become the popular crowd. Then we'll trash the rest."

I grin at him.

"Thanks," I mouth the words.

"Eat up. You too, Steve. We can't sit here all night and listen to how wonderful you think you are." Simon turns his attention to his dinner.

"Okay," Steve sighs, "If you let me dance with your date!" I jump when I realize that Steve means me. I look at Simon.

"Only one." Simon doesn't even bother looking at me.

There is so much glitter, glitz and sparkle in the gym that I have a headache just walking from the door to our table. Taking our picture was blinding and I stumble along after Simon, who has a tight hold on my hand. It is as deafening as it is blinding in the school gym. The music is loud! Steve is hooting and yelling as we cross the open area. Simon hurries past the jeering teens, dragging me after him.

I look back to see that Steve and Patsy have been detoured by several people. I watch my friend shine and shock as she stands, holding on to Steve. Simon looks back, frowning. I wonder why, and then I see a very pretty girl snaking her way through the crowd and coming right at us.

The girl is round, with a bust that will reach us ten minutes before the rest of her, a tiny waist and nice round hips. Her long blonde hair falls about her glowing face in soft, shining ringlets. Her green eyes sparkle as she flips her

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hair over her bare shoulder. She is wearing a very slinky, seductive dress that is cut down to there and slit up to there. I wonder if she's cold.

"Your ex?" I ask, as Simon helps me with my wrap.

"Yeah, just..," he looks annoyed.

"I'm good at ignoring." It's my turn to set my hand reassuringly on his. He nods and holds my chair so I can sit.

"Hi!" The snaking girl wraps herself around his waist and instantly reminds me of Horrid, Spoiled and Manipulative Amber. She stands on tiptoe to kiss Simon. He turns his face to the side. "I miss you." The girl moves to put herself between me and Simon. I set my clutch on the table and sigh.

"Karen, this is Shyane Cruz, my date." Simon sits down and smiles at me. "This my friend, Karen Pryor."

"Hi!" I smile sweetly.

"Yeah, whatever," Karen says, and then plops down in Simon's lap. "Look, I know you're mad, but quit and tell the baby to hit the road. Come sit with us. You don't have to be labeled a loser just because you have to associate with one."

"Get off me!" Simon lifts Karen up off him and sets her next to him.

"I love it when you just pick me up and go macho on me!" Karen squeals. Simon groans. I pick at the glitter scattered on the table. I have a feeling this is going to get bad.

"Oh, look!" Patsy smiles coldly as she sits down on the other side of me. "No one put the trash on the curb!" I wince. Why do they have to fight with me in the middle?

"What the..?" Karen is obviously shocked by how nice Patsy looks.

Patsy's dress is a bit more revealing than mine. She borrowed it from me. I had Cruz buy it for a later date. He frowned at me when he looked it over. He didn't understand when I said I could grow into it until I told him that Patsy could borrow it. He agreed, but told me I had a lot of growing to do before I wore it. I agree.

The dress is a soft powder blue spaghetti strap with a low back and sequined neckline that plunged. I watch as Patsy swishes her hips and sits with Steve. She tosses her lovely locks over her shoulder and flutters her glittered eye lids at Karen.

"Hey, Karen," Steve sits and waves to someone across the room. "You know Pats? My bud?"

"What happened to you?" Karen hisses.

"Excuse me?" Patsy sits back comfortably.

"You look different." Karen looks accusingly at me. I'm busy watching the band. I love the music. The beat has me wanting to dance.

"I decided to dress up a bit. You know, let loose? I just didn't have to study tonight." Patsy folds her hands delicately in her lap. I smile a bit.

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"She looks hot, don't she?" Steve leans over to hug Patsy to him. "She's the best to come with me." He kisses her temple and I giggle as Patsy rolls her eyes. "She hates this shit! I had to talk her into this! Ain't that great of her?"

"Cindy ain't gonna think so," Karen growls.

"Go away, Karen," Steve flippantly says. Karen turns back to Simon.

"Save a dance for me." It's not a request but an order. Simon ignores her as she snakes off.

"So when do I get my dance?" Steve asks anxiously.

"Uh?" I look at Simon. His eyes are following Karen. I frown and shrug. "Now?"

"Great!"

Steve holds out his hand to me. I take it and let him lead me to the dance floor. Patsy instantly jumps into my seat and begins to talk to her brother. I let Steve lead me through the gauntlet of teens to the dance floor.

"Karen's a bitch!" Steve says in my ear.

"Really?" I giggle, he has to practically double over to whisper in my ear.

"Yeah, Simon's a good guy. Patsy's got a big mouth but she's sweet. Karen ain't got no right talking shit about his sister. I mean, Simon thinks Patsy's the bomb. I do too. She's a great bud."

"Bud?" I step back a bit to look up at him.

"Yeah, I'm a horrible boyfriend. Cindy deserves me." Steve grins at me. "Not Patsy. She just ain't slutty enough for me."

"Nice to know." I have a hard time getting what he's saying.

"You're funny," he smiles.

"Huh?"

"I think you're funny."

"Looking?" I offer.

"No, you're hot! Just funny the way you look at people and stuff. Like they don't interest you. You know how everyone is watching you and checking you out and you just ignore it."

"Are they? Really?" I look about and find a lot of the males in the room are staring at me.

"You dance real well."

"Huh?" I look back up at Steve.

"You dance real well." Steve's eyes are calm.

"Is that girl gonna give Patsy a hard time?" I ask watching Karen glaring at me. "And me?"

"Oh, yeah, but it's all talk. They ain't got nothing but hot air. Cindy's gonna hit the roof on this one." I see a lot of cell phones pointed at me. My picture seems to be important. Mine and Patsy's. "I bet she's getting pissed that her phone is being blown up in the middle of her competition." Steve seems very happy with this concept. "I better get you back to Simon or he'll be

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pissed. I'm sure him and Pats have hashed it all out."

"Ya think?"

"They talk about everything. It's weird. I can't stand my sister."

"You can't?"

"Nope. She's a real bitch."

"That's terrible!"

"Karen can't help it! She's just like my mom."

"Karen?" I squeak. "Simon's Karen?"

"Yeah! I thought you knew."

I shake my head.

"Don't worry, she's busy trying to trash Pats."

"And you'll let her?"

"I can't stop her. Believe me, Pats can take care of herself." I see amusement in his eyes. It occurs to me that Steve really likes Patsy, as a friend. I wonder if he knows she's got a crush on him. "And if it gets out of hand, I'll smash her cell phone."

He shrugs and we walk back to our table. I find a lot of boys looking at me. I do not duck my head but stand straight and tall. I have nothing to be ashamed of. No one knows me. I'm just a girl tonight. Monday is when I will invade their world. Then the real crap begins. For tonight, I'm just the mystery date.

"Come on, Bud!" Steve pushes me into Simon's arms and drags Patsy to the dance floor. I sit down and shoot Simon a side glance. His eyes are on Patsy and Steve.

"You didn't tell me that Karen is his sister."

"I didn't think it was important," He shrugs. "She isn't."

I sit back and watch the gym. The eyes are on me. Male and female. I fight to keep myself out of the spotlight as Diana has told me to. I can't shine too much or draw attention to myself. Going back to school means no music, no dance, no art or literature outside my studio. The last thing I need is to let the other world have an idea where I am.

I now know that I affect all men. I have a sexual effect on them all, except… I look over at Simon. He's not that into me. I feel hopeful. Maybe I'm not a muse? Then again, why isn't he attracted to me? Or Steve? Why is Steve just into himself? Maybe he loves himself more than he could a girl.

But Simon is a different story. He's not at all taken by me. He's shy, polite, tolerant and only as protective as he would be to a stranger he's forced by his sister to take to a dance. He's watching the dance floor. I expect to see his eyes on Karen, but he's only watching the floor in general. I can hear her loud, rude comments over the music. She's right behind us with her clique. I grow tired of it and lean over to whisper in Simon's ear.

"Can we please dance?" I ask in the most seductive voice I can muster.

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Simon looks at me with a frown on his face. He looks around as if embarrassed and then at me. He curls his finger for me to move closer.

"I have a confession," he says in my ear.

"What?" I sit back from him. I must look frightened. His frown deepens and he takes my hand in his and tugs. I stand and let him pull me into his lap. His arm goes around my waist and his other hand settles on my hand.

"I'm a typical white guy," he says, then sits back to watch my expression. I am totally confused. He sighs and leans in to whisper in my ear. "I can't dance."

I sit back and find his face flushed. He looks bashful. And adorable. I smile at him and climb from his lap, tugging at his hand. His blush deepens as does his frown. I tug again and he stands. I lead the way and he follows me to the dance floor.

"You don't understand." He leans down to yell in my ear because here the music is loud. "I really can't dance!" I hold tight to his hand. He looks around and then down at me. The music changes to a slow song. I wait. "It's your toes!" he growls in my ear.

I step up to him and then gingerly step on the toes of his shoes. His arms hold me and I position them where they need to go. I stand on tip toe and whisper in his ear.

"Left, left, right, right, forward, forward, back, back…" His arms loosen up as he holds me close. I forget all the eyes that are on me. I think only of him. We dance.

"You do know that everyone hates you?" Patsy is sitting in Steve's lap eating ice cream and feeding it to him. He acting as silly as he can.

"Yes, thank you for that!" I push the nuts off my sundae. Simon takes a spoonful and pops it in his mouth. "Want my cherry?" I ask and then realize what I've said. I turn as red as the fruit as Steve and Simon laugh.

"Pushy!" Patsy teases.

"Well, he has his own and he keeps digging in mine!" I giggle.

"I like nuts!" Simon laughs.

"I guess that's why he's hanging out with us," his sister laughs. She makes a funny face and looks quizzically at Steve. "Is your phone vibrating or are you happy to see me?"

"Crap!" He shifts her in his lap. "I'm always happy to see you. It's Cindy again. She's been blowing up my phone. She got a lot of texts and pics of us." He pulls his phone out, checks it. Turns it off and sets it on the table. "Let her stew." Patsy smiles at me and settles back.

"I love the dancing. You were a bit bland!" she scowls at me.

"What?" I ask.

"Compared to your studio, you were like a frog on a log."

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"Thanks!" Simon laughs.

"Hey, don't get me wrong, getting that log on the dance floor is quite an accomplishment. Karen was chomping at the bit on that one. She was sure you were gonna fall over and make a fool of yourself. You looked good out there but Shy is spectacular."

"Am I?" I ask teasingly.

"Yes," Patsy glares at me. "Why are you being so secretive?"

"I don't want to be known for that. I just want to fit in. Actually," I frown, "I don't even want to fit in. I just want to get through school with as little attention as possible." My hand begins to shake. I set my spoon down. Simon's hand holds mine.

"You're cold," he whispers, rubbing my hand between his. I pull my wrap close. He stands and takes his tux jacket off the back of his chair and sets it on my shoulders. "She doesn't have to explain anything, Patricia." Simon's face is cold to his sister.

"Okay!" I look at him and know. She's told him. About me. About what happened to me. Or the lies that have been told about me. I frown and leave my ice cream to melt. Patsy doesn't say anything else about me.

"You like music?" Steve asks. I nod. "What kind?"

"Classical, pop, rock, country, new wave, any kind really," I sigh. "What about you?" I'm trying to make conversation.

"Rock!" Steve hoots.

"Oh! And you?" I turn to Simon.

"None," he shrugs as he takes his spoon and scoops up my bright red cherry out of my melting sundae.

"You don't like music?" I ask incredulously.

"I can't hear it." He looks over to see that Patsy and Steve are involved in silliness and their attention is off us before he crosses his eyes and sticks out his tongue at me. The cherry sits in the curve of his tongue glistening at me. I jump back.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"I'm totally tone deaf," Simon cocks his head to the side and smiles. "Since the day I was born."

"Goodnight." Simon sits facing me in the back of the car. He looks at Richard and I shake my head at the craziness. Richard is facing forward but his eyes are glued on us in the rearview. He smiles at me. "I really had a good time, which is unusual." He takes my hand in his and brings it to his lips. He kisses it and winks at me. I shake off his jacket. "I'll get it from you later. It's cold. You need to stay warm." He leans in and kisses my cheek. "Night."

I sit back as Simon gets out of the car, slowly. I watch him walk up the walk to his house. I can do this because Steve's dad pulled in front of us to

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drop off Patsy. Steve walks her to the door and waves as he runs back to his dad's car. I settle back as Richard drives me back around the block and down the lane home.

In a happy daze, I climb out of the car. Richard is holding the door for me. But then he grabs my arm roughly and holds me against him. I'm suddenly afraid. Richard's eyes glow a deep red as he looks into the darkness.

"Who's there?" he growls, pushing me to get back in the car.

"Me!" Richard calms at the familiar voice. I peer from behind him. Malcolm steps out of the darkness. "Chill out before you wake the dead." I push past Richard to hug Malcolm.

"Hey, Little Dancer! You look great! What are you doing out so late?"

"I went to a dance." I step back from him just as Stewart and Kai stumble from the darkness. They smell of whiskey. "Have you guys been partying?"

"Sort of." Kai hops up on the hood of the car. Stewart leans against it.

"So Diana came to coach you?" Malcolm asks.

"Yeah," I yawn. "I got some questions I need to ask her."

"Like?" Kai looks funny as he as he tries to focus on me.

"Well..," I'm unsure if I should bring my questions up. "Can we talk inside? I'm cold." I hug the jacket around me.

"That sounds like a good idea." Cruz is there. Where did he come from? "I don't need her getting ill." He holds his hand out to me. I let him pull me inside. "How was the dance?"

"I didn't dance much," I mumble. "Simon can't. He says he's a white boy and has no rhythm." Our company laughs at this. "And I didn't want to draw attention to myself."

"Good." Cruz hugs me. I cuddle close to him. I'm cold and tired. "We don't need that. What are you three doing here?" Cruz asks our guests as we enter the house.

"We need to talk," Malcolm says as his eyes glance at me. I move closer to Cruz.

"Come in here." We all go to the study. I sit down in a comfortable chair and curl up with Sebastian. He moans at me in a grumpy way since I've interrupted his sleep.

"Now, what do we need to talk about?"

"Peter's asking questions." Stewart is the one who shares the bad news. I hug Sebastian close. He sits up right away at the news.

"What kind of questions?" Cruz sits down behind his desk.

"He was at the gathering, drunk, and asking what he can do to reverse the possession of her." Malcolm nods to me. Sebastian growls. "He's saying he was tricked."

"Was he?" Cruz asks.

"No." Malcolm smiles and shakes his head. "He lost. I was just a little bit

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better than he was."

"He's a gambler. Everyone knows it. Everyone he owes. And he owes a lot." Kai falls onto the sofa. "He's never been out of debt. In fact, he owes a lot more now. He's been gambling for information on her. He spoke to Diana." Cruz looks up at that.

"And?"

"She blew him off big time!" Kai snickers into the sofa. "Told him one hadn't been born in a century and she would feel it if one had. She was there with Galina and Amara. They both agreed." I notice Cruz breathing easier.

"But he made a lot of noise about having had one as a pet. How it was stolen from him. He got attention." Stewart falls to the floor and moans in delight. "My back is killing me!"

"That's the last thing we need," Cruz curses.

"He has no claim…," Malcolm says slowly, "but he says that there's another." He looks right at me, "One of your blood."

"What? Who?" I ask, "I'm the only one. Charlotte's had three children and she can't walk and chew gum." I almost laugh.

Charlotte never was good at dancing. Joe used to say his toes got crushed by her every time they went dancing. And I know for a fact she can't carry a tune in a bucket. I think about the boys but none of them would ever… Millie. I gasp.

"What is it?" Cruz asks.

"Millie, my niece, the one who's place I took. She's three months older than me and she's kind of jealous of me. She thinks that being a tribute is like winning the lottery. She thinks that Peter is the second coming," I frown.

"Is she talented?"

Now, Millie was good but always quit when it got tough. She didn't like being told what to do. She could dance choreographed bits with difficulty. But I had seen her dance to music much the way I did, only she was very private about it. She never danced for anyone. I also knew she could sing. I had heard her on many occasions.

"Well, not like me," I frown. "Could there be two of us?" I look to Cruz.

He looks upset. The reason I was a muse was because he was an Immortal. At least, that's what we had deduced. Millie was Joe's. There was never any doubt. She looked just like him. Could it be my family's blood that bred the muse? Not Cruz's? Was Millie in danger? I look to Cruz for the answer.

"No, there is only you. Millicent is not. She's a fake. She has talent, but she's not a muse. She does not inspire." Cruz gets up to pour himself a drink.

"How do you know?" I ask. Cruz looks at me guiltily.

"We've been watching them." Kai's response is muffled in the sofa. "I had to follow her around and she is no muse! Annoying, yes. A muse? No!"

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"Follow her?" I hug Sebastian close.

"I wanted to ensure that no harm came to them from your visit," Cruz sighs and drinks. "I hate them, but I know you love them. I just wanted to ensure their safety so you wouldn't feel guilty if they got hurt."

Cruz did this for me? I climb from under my dog and rush to hug him. His arms hold me. He went against everything he believed in to let me see my family and then protected them. I love him!

"You need to go to bed." Cruz kisses the top of my head.

"What about calling Diana?" Kai asks.

"Diana? Why? What's wrong?" Cruz looks down at me.

"I have questions," I yawn.

"About?" I'm tired, but I know he deserves to know.

"I'm not sure about public school." I sit down on the arm of the chair.

"Why not?" The concern in his voice is nice.

"The boys all stared. I mean really stared. You would have thought I was the new toy but..," I sigh, "the girls were all glaring at me. It's like I'm hated but still wanted. It's scary."

"It will be difficult." Cruz sounds reassuring and I know what he's going to say next. "You could just continue with home schooling here."

"That wasn't what bothered me." I debate on whether I should share my concerns. Thinking about it, I wonder if it's simply my ego that was bruised.

"What is it then?"

"Don't laugh!" I plead. Cruz gives a warning look to the roomful of men. He nods. "Everyone was attracted to me in either a positive or negative way except Steve and Simon."

"What do you mean?" Cruz looks funny when he's confused. It's like he's not in control, and he doesn't like it.

"Simon was nice, don't get upset." I watch his face turn into a glare. "He just wasn't in to me. I mean we danced, but he just said he had no rhythm and that he was tone deaf."

"Well, that would explain it," Malcolm answers my question. "If he can't hear the music or appreciate the dance, then he's unaffected by you."

"Oh!" I sigh in relief. "But then there was Steve. All he did was talk about himself and his girlfriend. We only danced once and he was really just… goofy."

"Steve was Patsy's date?" Cruz asks.

"Yeah, he was nice to her and all but he was just… nothing about me interested him."

"That's impossible!" Kai sits up suddenly. He looks to his companions. They all look amused. "Unless…"

"Unless what?" I ask. Cruz snorts and I see that he's laughing.

"Shyane, this Steve wasn't attracted to you because muse or not, you

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aren't his type."

"What?" I look around at all the smiling faces.

"I think this Steve might be gay," Cruz says the words slowly.

"Oh! Thank God!" I sigh in relief. "I'm just glad he's not an axe murderer, since Patsy has the hots for him." Sebastian sits up and growls at this.

"What's wrong with him?" Malcolm asks, laughing at my dog's reaction.

"He's grumpy!" I reply, hugging him.

"No, he's not grumpy," Kai giggles, "he's horny!"

Sebastian barks and snorts at the vampires. They all laugh. I pat my dog's head, wondering why they would think Sebastian was horny or find it funny. I hope they don't tell me my dog is gay too.

"You've had a big night, go to bed." Cruz pushes me to the door as I yawn again. I'm too tired to argue.

"Night!" I wave to everyone.

I think of nothing but bed as I crawl into it alone. Sebastian is still in the den with the men, probably having a drink. I curl up and fall asleep, thinking of Steve and Simon. Somehow, Cord has begun to fade from my thoughts and dreams. The bad thing is I don't seem to mind.

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The

Student

"How bad is it going?" Steve asks plopping down next to me in the cafeteria.

"That depends on what you consider bad," I reply as I continue to push my food around on my plate.

"Well, the food sucks." he offers.

"Yes, it does."

"Have you met my girlfriend?" he asks. I shake my head. "Well, that means it can only get worse."

"Gee thanks!" I groan.

"How's your schedule?" He snatches an apple wedge off my plate.

"Easy," I reply, and it is. Mrs. Potter prepared me well. The placement exams were easier than I had anticipated. I have Patsy in four of my classes and she was a year ahead of me.

"How is everyone treating you?" He smiles and I frown.

"Like I have the plague." I shoot a look around the cafeteria at all the curious looks.

"Get used to it. As cute as you are..," he looks around and smiles, "just get used to it."

"Great!" I grumble.

"There you are!" Patsy comes to sit with me. "I was hunting for you."

"I got released from testing early." I look past her to see Simon walking towards us. I also see Karen. I try not to smile too much as Simon sidesteps her to talk to some guys, then spins off to the side to come sit across from me.

"Thought you couldn't dance?" Steve teases.

"Here comes Cindy," Simon counters. Steve stiffens and I look at Patsy. She's frowning, so it must be true.

"You meeting me after school?" Steve asks Patsy, quickly.

"It's a term paper, not brain surgery!" Patsy giggles nervously.

"It's a third of my grade," Steve sighs pitifully.

"Fine! I was going to walk home with Shy." Patsy looks over at Simon. He doesn't notice. Patsy shoves him.

"What?" he asks.

"I can walk myself home." Truth is, I know that Richard will be waiting for me after school. Cruz said I could walk home but Richard would follow me in the car. Not a real leash, just an invisible one.

"Why would you want to walk?" Simon asks, paying extreme attention to his meal. "There's a bus."

"I'll be fine," I mumble, feeling my face burning.

"Simon'll walk you home," Patsy declares.

"Huh?" Simon looks up, "Oh, okay." I watch him frowning at his plate.

"What's wrong?" Patsy asks.

"Is this red or orange?" Simon points to the Jell-O on his tray.

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"Red!" Patsy groans.

"I hate red!" Simon hisses.

"Take mine," I slide the bowl over to him. "It's orange." He smiles and trades with me. I hate red too, but I get a smile out of him. "Why did you get red if you hate it?"

"I'm color blind," Simon mutters.

Color blind, tone deaf, and no rhythm, so what did Simon do for fun? Eat? I wonder how boring a person's life can be. Patsy had told me that Simon didn't like art, books, music, dance or anything creative. He liked football, but sucked at it, and he still made the team. I wonder if he can sing.

"Hi!"

I forget about Simon as the pretty blonde climbs over me and into Steve's lap, attacking his face with kisses. I watch Patsy seem to dissolve. I decide that eating is more important than dealing with this girl. She reminds me too much of Amber. I frown at the slick looking gravy that covers my mystery meat. I don't even think of saving that for my dog.

"So you're the new kid," Cindy finally comes up for air, looking me over.

"This is Shyane," Steve holds her on his lap. "Shyane, this is Cindy."

Cindy looks me over the same way Simon had looked over his Jell-O. I duck my head and start to fidget. Then I wince. Simon has just kicked me under the table. I look and find him glaring at me. I decide to glare back.

"What's your next class?" Simon asks.

"History, the world type," I reply.

"Miller?" I look at my schedule and nod. Miller is the teacher listed "I got the class next to her. Come on, if I gotta walk ya, I may as well start now. How did I become your babysitter?"

"Really!" Karen says as she steps up to the table. "Can't the baby walk on her own?"

"Excuse me." I stand up, grab my backpack and head for the door. Five is definitely too many. I'm almost to the door when I feel a hand on my elbow.

"You really think you're gonna leave me with them?" Simon hisses in my ear as he guides me into the main hallway. "This way to history of the world."

"So I just follow?" I tease.

"Simon says." He teases back.

"You're giving me the world?" I tease more.

"If I could, I would. Just as long as you take me with you." He smiles down at me. I look down, blushing as we walk to class.

"How was school?" Cruz asks as I fall onto the sofa, face first.

"I missed it so much that I forget how much I hated it," I moan. "I have homework."

"You wanted to return."

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"I know. At least I won't be lonely."

"Are you lonely?" Cruz comes from behind his desk to sit on the sofa with me. I sit up.

"Yeah, I guess I am. I mean, it's not so bad. At least, not really. I just..," I sigh and lean my head back, "I'm not really used to being the only kid. I have six nieces and nephews to keep me company back home." Cruz frowns. "But then, I also have them to fight with. I guess I just forgot about all the drama that comes with peers."

"Drama?"

"Patsy's sad because Steve's girlfriend is just like Amber." I shudder over dramatically and Cruz laughs. "Then Simon's girlfriend is just is bad." I shudder again.

"So you like Simon?"

"I don't think so," I frown. "Maybe?"

"More than Cord?"

"I really don't know. I hadn't thought of Cord in a while, and he hasn't called, so I guess he hasn't thought of me."

"Well, he's a bit flighty."

"Yeah," I frown again. "But Simon has an ex-girlfriend who doesn't know that she's the ex. I think I need to steer clear of all of it. Besides, there are tons of boys as school who can make my life miserable besides Cord and Simon."

"You seem so depressed. Is this normal?"

"No," I sigh in exasperation. "I'm just bored."

"Bored?"

"I thought you were excited about school?" Cruz looks more than a little disgusted.

"I was. I am." I sigh, "I just… I'm fine. What's wrong with Sebastian?" A subject change is in order.

My dog had been acting strange. Sebastian had been whimpering and throwing himself at Patsy because she would sit for hours petting and paying attention to him. So much so, that he seemed to enjoy her company to mine. I was getting a bit jealous.

"I took him to the vet and they bathed him, clipped his nails, gave him shots and dewormed him."

"EW! If he wasn't sick before, he is now!"

"He's just uncomfortable," Cruz smiles.

"Somehow I think you like torturing my dog!" I giggle.

"No," Cruz sighs. "It was necessary."

"Where is he?" Usually Sebastian is the first to greet me.

"I have no clue. Probably outside."

"I'm going to my studio to relax." I drag myself to my feet.

"Don't forget about that homework," Cruz warns.

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I roll my eyes. I turn to tell him that I can get it down after dinner when the scream rips through the house. I'm almost knocked down by Cruz as he races past me. I run into the hallway and Richard almost knocks me down.

"Stay there!" Richard yells as the next scream scares the crap out of me.

"Not!" I follow and almost trip over them as we all fall out the back door. "What in the..?"

"Get him off!" Patsy is screaming.

I'm not sure I'm a very good friend because I laugh. I literally fall off the porch laughing. Patsy in on her hands and knees screaming as Sebastian makes a grand attempt to relieve his hormonal energies on her backside. No one else moves, not at first. They are all in shock. I'm a farm girl. I'm used to similar actions of dogs, just not this extreme.

Patsy is embarrassed. Uncomfortable and horrified. She is being sexually assaulted by my dog! Cruz looks amused and uncomfortable. Richard, like me, just laughs. It's Mrs. Potter who comes to the rescue by grasping Sebastian by the collar and jerking him off the girl. Cruz hurries to help Patsy up.

"Your dog is a pervert!" she screams as she stumbles into the house. I follow, trying to stop laughing.

"He's just happy to see you," I giggle.

"Why do all the males who love me have to be dogs?" Patsy tries to look as dignified as possible. "You would find this amusing!"

"I'm sorry!" I hug her tightly. "I can't help it. He's so totally into you!"

"Well, he just tried to get into me! I really don't want my first sexual experience to be with a dog! Human or canine!" She sits at the table panting. "I hate my life!"

"Cake or ice cream?" Mrs. Ellis asks. Patsy looks at the kind woman with tears brimming her eyes and sighs.

"Cake!" Patsy sobs.

"I'm sorry!" I sit next to her and feel terrible for laughing. Cruz and Richard make a quick exit, dragging Sebastian after them. "What happened?"

"You mean other than your dog trying to rape me?" she sniffs.

"Yeah." I don't know what else to say.

"Steve says I can't tutor him anymore," she sobs.

"What? Why not?"

"Cindy said she's gonna help him from now on."

"Is she smart?"

"Yes, but not as smart as me!"

"No one is!" I say.

"Suck up!" Patsy laughs through the tears. I smile at her.

"Not really. All the teachers say you're the smartest in the school. I think you should charge for tutoring."

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"What?" She grabs a napkin to blow her nose.

"Here you are dearie!" Mrs. Ellis sets a large piece of cake between us and hands us each a fork. "Enjoy!"

"You should charge to tutor those jocks!" I say through a mouthful of delicious cake.

"I can't! The school sets it up."

"So? You can set up your own. You don't need the school to find you dumb people to help."

"I guess," Patsy stuffs her mouth.

"You could charge big bucks to help them. Why put up with the crap and not get paid? I mean, you helped Steve."

"And he dumped me," she blubbers.

"Patsy," I frown, "he's got a girlfriend."

"I know!" She stuffs more cake into her mouth.

"I don't think I like Cindy." I decide to try and not take sides.

"I know I don't like her!" Patsy hisses. "Or his sister! They make me want to puke!"

"Not my cake!" Mrs. Ellis warns.

"Let's go to the studio?" I offer picking up the now empty plate and hand it to Mrs. Ellis.

"You girls get some drinks," the older woman orders.

I grab two sodas and hurry out the back door. I peek around for Sebastian and then we dash for my sanctuary. By the time we get to the studio, we're giggling. I shut the door on the studio and we fall to the floor laughing.

"I think I hate my life!" Patsy laughs.

"I like your life!"

"You like my brother!" she accuses.

"Not really. I sure don't think he likes me."

"No, he likes you." Patsy carefully opens her soda and sips it.

"I don't know about that." I fall back on the floor and sigh.

"My brother thinks you're the cutest girl in the school!" Patsy says.

"Does he now?" I sit up and find Cord standing in the now open doorway.

"What are you doing here?" I squeal, jumping up and diving into his arms. He tries to kiss me, but I hug him. He kisses my head instead. "When did you get here?"

"Just now! I'm on my way to a concert," Cord laughs.

"Pop or rock?" Patsy asks.

"Classical," Cord answers. "I'm the artist."

"Cord, this is Patsy."

"We know each other!" Cord laughs. "She's only lived next door for years. When I came to visit I bothered them." He hugs Patsy. I feel stupid. Of course they know each other.

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"How long are you staying?" I ask.

"Dinner, and then I'm off." He hugs me close. "I heard you're in school here? I thought you'd be coming to mine."

"I like it here."

"Yeah, Simon lives here." Cord raises an eyebrow at me.

"We're friends," I mumble, and try to step away. He holds me close and it's uncomfortable.

"Did you tell him about us?" Cord asks in a deep voice.

"Us? What about us?" I shove against him and he finally lets go. "There is no us! I haven't heard from you in weeks and now you want to be an us?"

Cord sighs heavily. I don't think he likes being put on the spot.

"I was busy," He says defensively. "I had a lot of catching up to do." I study his face and know. I have no idea how I know, but I know. He looks down. His catching up had nothing to do with school.

"Yeah, I'm sure you and Amber had a lot to catch up on." I walk over to the piano and begin to play a soft tune.

"Look, Patsy can you...?" Cord looks at my friend and she shoots me a questioning look. I shake my head.

"No can do," Patsy sighs dramatically. "I just got sexually assaulted by a dog and I ain't going out there alone."

"What?" Cord laughs nervously.

"I'm not kidding!" I love my crazy friend Patsy.

"Fine!" Cord turns back to me. "So you and Simon?"

He's actually angry! This fact makes me angry. He has no right to be mad. I do! I just didn't know I did. To be honest I really hadn't noticed that Cord hadn't called. I was too busy having a life. It didn't bother me that he didn't call. Out of sight, out of mind. I thought maybe I could argue the point, but decided to let it and Cord go.

"Will you chill out?" I continue to play.

"I want to know how someone as talented as you can even think of being interested in someone like Simon!"

"What's wrong with Simon?" I argue.

"You are so talented! He can't see colors, or hear music, and have you seen him dance?"

"Yes, I have. He took me to a dance and we had a marvelous time!" I reply with a smirk.

"You can't be serious! You like Simon?" Cord smirks. "Simon says! This is unbelievable! You like my friend?"

"Your friend? Why does he have to be your friend? Why can't he be my friend! And I like the way he says 'Simon says. It's cute!"

"He was mine first!" Cord cries. I give him a look I would use on one of my nephews. The younger ones.

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"Will you grow up?"

Cord is glaring at me now.

"Really!" We all turn to see Simon in the doorway with Sebastian.

"Keep that horny dog away from me!" Patsy starts to get up, but my dog basically throws himself in her lap, moaning. He's looking to make up. "Brat!" she accuses and kisses his nose. "if you were human I'd marry you."

"I worry about you!" Simon says as he walks over to me and sits next to me on the bench.

"I would too!" Cord adds.

"I was invited to dinner," Simon notes. I look over at him. He's avoiding looking at me. I continue to play. "I want something else, though."

"Really?" I ask. "What?"

"I'd like to see you dance." I stop playing.

"What? Why?" I'm embarrassed and flustered.

"I heard it was wonderful." Simon still won't look at me.

"It is." Cord sits on the other side of me. "I'll play my new piece and you bring it to life." He nudges me closer to Simon.

"I..," I look at Simon, who is now looking right at me, smiling. I feel manipulated and unsure. These two are old friends. I'm the outsider. "Why..?"

"Go on." Simon lifts me up and over him, setting me on the floor. "Simon says show me something wonderful."

I glare at him. Why is he putting me on the spot? Have he and Cord been talking to each other about me? I think they have an unfair advantage over me and I'm not so sure I like it. Simon has his hands on my hips and is smiling at me. I pull away and walk over to put on my pointe shoes. Patsy is no help. She's practically lying on top of my dog! And she wonders why he's so horny!

Cord is playing something fresh and new. I feel the music tug at me as I stretch and prepare. Cord is watching me. I feel his eyes taking me in. Sebastian does the same. It's unsettling. I stand and grip the bar firmly as I prepare myself.

"Are you ready?" Cord asks.

I move to the center of the floor slowly and stand on pointe. The music begins and I move with it. I feel alive as it sweeps me into its arms and carries me to a place where I'm comfortable; a welcoming and embracing place, deep in my soul.

I am alone. It's just me and the music. I feel my heart soaring as I spin about. I leap. I'm trying to climb upon the music that rises above me. I reach for it, trying to hold onto it as it seeks freedom from this world. The freedom that I want. That I need.

Cord song is more than I can handle. It has been too long since I've had music like this surrounding me. I devour it. I need it to survive. The life I once had is gone. I was a prisoner, and now I'm free. Peter tried to force me to feel

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this way for his own entertainment. It cannot be forced. It has to come freely from deep within the soul. My soul.

I'm learning. I've always been a good student. Not just in school, but in life. Diana has given me an idea of what I want and need to survive. It might not be Simon, or Cord, but I know that it is music, dance and the bright swirling color I see in my mind as I dance. I spin on and on and then the music stops and I fall into Cruz's arms.

"You'll wear yourself out," Cruz's voice holds a cold warning.

I'm panting. I find that I'm dizzy, exhausted and confused. The room spins and I close my eyes. I'm thirsty and cold. Somewhere in the midst of it all, I had heard Sebastian's bark, but had ignored it. Cruz had not. He lifts me into his arms and carries me to the house. I shiver as the cool night air washes over my sweat covered body.

"Get a blanket!" Cruz yells.

Mrs. Potter and Mrs. Ellis scramble. I'm laid on the sofa in the study and covered. I hear everything but understand nothing. I want the music. I need it. I try to move and can't. Every muscle in my body is aching. Aching so much that I can't make my limbs obey. They are like the bright colored Jell-O that Simon and I had at lunch.

"Drink this!" Cruz is holding a glass to my lips. I drink. It burns going down my throat. I cough and lay trying to catch my breath. "Why would you do this?" His hand holds my face.

"I don't…" I can't even speak.

"What happened?"

I close my eyes and sleep. That's all I need. I need sleep. Lots of sleep. Just a couple of years and I'll be just fine.

I'm moving fast. Not running. I'm dancing. I'm dancing away from the troubles, headaches and my past. I leave it all behind because it is unsettling and frightening. I move forward, searching and crying. I'm unsure and confused as I travel through the darkness, alone. But I don't feel alone. There is someone there. Someone that I need to find. For once, I'm not running from something, but to something.

The darkness holds nothing that can hurt me, nothing but my memories. The good and the bad. My memories are like ghosts that haunt me. My family is part of these ghosts too. They are all right there before me, just out of my reach, looking back at me. I dance about, letting the good memories erase my fears. They give me strength to go on.

I knew I was going too far. I felt my body begin to scream in pain. Pain my mind did not feel. I just couldn't make myself stop. Cord didn't stop and I wouldn't. His music engulfed me and took me to a new level. A level where pain or exhaustion didn't exist, or alter my ability. He was as drawn into the

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musical enchantment as I was.

I walk through the darkness, not in fear, but confusion. I'm searching. I know what it is I need. I know that one day I'll understand why all this has happened. I do know that I have to overcome it all. I have to find what I'm searching for. I have to find myself. Once I do that then I can make a life for myself. Happiness.

Through it all, I find myself staring into the darkness. Only once I'm past the darkness, and I look back to see all that is behind me. What I need is suddenly before me. I'm not afraid as two blood red, glowing eyes stare at me. They seem to be searching my soul through my eyes. My heart skips a beat because I should be afraid of these eyes. All I see are the eyes. And I feel as if I'm finally safe. I rush into the arms of the beast that stands in the shadows. His arms hold me safe and I find that I am home.

"What happened?" I ask, opening my eyes.

"You fainted." I expect Cruz, but find Cord and Simon both leaning over the back of the sofa gazing down at me. I can't move my legs.

"Am I paralyzed?" I whisper.

"No," Cruz almost laughs. "Get down!" he orders and Sebastian jumps down from his perch on my legs. "What were you thinking?"

"I was having fun!" I try to sit up and feel the room swim.

"You dehydrated yourself. You know you need to take it easy. Why would you do this to yourself? Are you trying to scare me to death?" Cruz leans down to caress my cheek. "At least you aren't so clammy."

"I'm thirsty." My voice is hoarse.

"I bet you are!" Cruz holds another glass to my lips and this time it's water. I drink like a camel. "You just have to learn to..," he looks at the teens who are gathered around me, "take it easy. You know not to overdo it."

"I'm sorry, Cruz." I sit up slowly. "How long have I been out?" It feels as if I've been asleep for days.

"About ten minutes." Cruz sits down next to me. I must look shocked. "You scared me." He hugs me close.

"I'm hungry," I mumble into his chest.

"That's the best thing I've heard all day." He kisses the top of my head. "Let's all eat. Mrs. Ellis has made pizza and salad." We stand. "Then you are going to bed."

"I have homework," I point out.

"I don't think that matters. I'm still unsure if I want you to go to school tomorrow." He practically carries me to the dining room.

I'm not only hungry, I'm starving. I sit down and drink the water next to my plate. Everyone sits down. All eyes are on me. I look up and sigh. I just want food. Cruz sits down and watches me. Sebastian lays his head in my lap.

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Now he wants my attention. I rub his head and yawn.

We all eat. At first quietly, then there is playful blame placed on each other over who let me overdo my dancing. Simon and Cord both look guilty. Patsy simply eats. The pizza comes and I devour three slices under the watchful eye of my father.

My father. I like the way it sounds. Cruz is my father. I eat and watch him watch me. I've come to the conclusion that I like my father. I like that he takes care of me. I like that he listens to me. I like being his daughter.

I miss my family less and less as each day passes. I know that my return had taken them by surprise. They were happy to see me and then again, it also put them on edge. I saw the joy in their eyes and the fear. I know now that I can never go home. I have to let my family go.

Cruz was right. Of course I'd never tell him that, but he was right. I am no longer a part of their lives. I'm dead to them. And they to me. I have the memories of my life before they died, and I know that they are in a better place without me. I was taken, rescued and reborn. I look at my father, who finally returns my tired smile. I eat my pizza and rejoice in my rebirth.

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The

Omen

Six months. I have survived six months in my school and not wanted to do anything other than think of summer at the cottage. Cord calls me every Sunday after dinner. He and Amber are on again, off again, on again and so on and so on. They aren't sleeping together. He always starts a conversation about her with this comment and I listen to him complain. I wonder why he stays in a relationship with her if he is so unhappy. I think he wants pity from me. It doesn't happen.

He's still composing. I get music on my computer almost daily. The better ones I burn and take with me to the studio. Now my sessions are monitored by Richard. He still waits outside, but if Sebastian barks, he comes running to turn off the music. More than once I have found myself spinning myself to the floor in exhaustion. The music stops and my energy does too. I fall unconscious and wake to Sebastian kissing me. His cold nose brings me back. If I can't regain myself, Richard will carry me to the house and Cruz will carry me up to my bed and tuck me in. After an hour or so, I'm fine. Just thirsty and hungry.

"I wish you'd gain weight!" Cruz grumbled at the table as I shoveled pasta down. I shrug and smile at him. "You eat enough!"

"I'll ease up," I reply.

"Not on the food. The dancing. Ease up. Keep eating."

"You want me fat?" I ask.

"I want you healthy. You don't look healthy." His eyes travel over me.

"I'm fine." I guzzle down my water.

"What do you want to do for spring break?" Cruz asks, trying to ignore my reply. "Where do you want to go?"

"The cottage?"

"That's this summer. What about skiing?"

"The school trip?" I jump at this.

The school is sponsoring a ski trip. I want to go, but I know Cruz would never let me. Not without my bodyguards and Sebastian in tow. I know that Patsy and Simon are going. A Christmas gift from their parents. Patsy has been dropping hints since New Year's. I had just assumed Cruz was ignoring her. Now I sit, waiting with hope. He avoids looking at me so I know he has something up his sleeve.

"I offered to be one of the chaperones for the trip." I feel my jaw drop as my fork hits the plate, loudly.

"You? With like, fifty spoiled, rich, annoying human teens?" I can't help but assume he's forgotten these facts. He hates human children, with the exception of Cord, Patsy and Simon. Oh, and me.

"I know," he sighs heavily. "I spoke to the principal about Richard going, but he can't ski."

"Can you?"

"Very well." He smiles at me. "And I enjoy it."

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"When was the last time you went?" I ask.

"Evelyn and I went last Christmas." He looks thoughtful. I frown. "What?"

"Is she going this time?"

"No," he smiles, knowing I don't want her to go along. "I don't think she and I see eye to eye on much anymore."

"I messed that up didn't I?"

"No, she did. I wanted you with me. She couldn't accept that. You need to finish eating." Another subject change. I pick up my fork.

"How many women have you loved?"

"More than I should have," he chuckles.

"Did you love my mother?" His eyes lock on mine.

"Yes. Shyane, I need you to listen to me on this. At that moment in time, I loved your mother. You were conceived from that love. Not just the love I had for her, but her love of her family. I like to think that's why you're such an agreeable child."

"Agreeable?"

"At times. Eat."

"So skiing?" I eat more. "I like it. I've never been so it should be an adventure."

"You look at everything as an adventure, don't you?"

"I try to," I giggle.

I've been with Cruz for almost nine months. I've come to like my life. I'm not sure if I'm dating Simon or not. He's here a lot and I'm with him at school but he's not glued to my side. When Cord comes to visit, Simon is not here. Patsy is always around. She's forever underfoot, with Sebastian lying in her arms. I think my dog has a crush on her. I've been to every school event from football games, basketball games, dances and the school play with Simon and Patsy. Sometimes Steve is with us.

Cindy is on the pageant circuit and gone most weekends. She's still not used to Patsy looking so gorgeous, but Steve ignores her. He only says something when Cindy is mean to Patsy. Then he yells. It was after Christmas that Patsy told me that Steve had confided in her that he was gay. I pretended that I didn't know. Steve and Patsy decided that when Cindy is gone, they would hang out so no other girls hit on him. It worked out well for both of them. Patsy gets to hang out with the popular crowd. I get to tag along because of her and Simon.

Patsy has blossomed over the past few months. The braces came off, she wears contacts and her boobs got bigger as her waist got smaller. She began to work out with me in my studio and now she walks tall, straight and proud as any ballerina. She moves gracefully and with purpose. She is becoming a beautiful woman. Something I envy her for. I haven't grown an inch in any direction. Boys still follow me with their eyes and move to help me all

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the time, as if I'm helpless, but only Simon and Cord spend time with me. And then they fight most of the time.

The New Year brought to light a lot of things that I was unaware of. One was that Simon likes me a lot more than as the friend of his sister. Cruz allowed me have a small party in the studio. Just Simon, Patsy, Steve, Sebastian, Richard, Mrs. Potter, Mrs. Ellis, Dr. Brooks, Charlie and his wife, Lois, Maurice and Marsha. We had food, music, sparkling cider and party hats and horns. At midnight, we all hugged and kissed and had more sparkling cider. When I turned to Simon, he smiled brightly and kissed me long and tenderly, taking my breath away. He released me and I stood holding my cider with my mouth wide open.

"You'll draw flies," Cruz cupped my chin in his hand, kissing my cheek.

Since then, Simon has been nicer to me, but he still hasn't let me know if I'm his girlfriend. At first it bothered me, but I finally decided not to think on it too much. Especially after what Patsy told me as we crawled into my bed that night. Cruz allowed the boys to sleep in my studio on a blow up mattress and Patsy and I were confined to the house. She had slept over before, but this night she was excited and talkative so when she first said it, I wasn't sure I had heard her correctly.

"What?" I ask as Sebastian climbs into the bed between us, as he always does, throwing himself into Patsy's lap.

"I said I hope he doesn't try to hump me tonight, because I might let him!" she giggles.

"Are you crazy?" I ask. She frowns at me and then looks upset.

"Can you like, send him out? I need to tell you something."

I look from her to Sebastian. She's serious, so I order him to leave. He only looks at me. I try to pull him from the bed and he sits tight. Patsy pushes and I pull and Sebastian still won't budge. I give up and simply drag her from the bed and shut the door behind us before he can follow. We run down to the study and shut the door behind us.

"We got like five minutes before Cruz comes hunting so what is it?" I fall onto the sofa. Fighting with Sebastian and the late hour has me exhausted. Patsy sits next to me and pouts.

"I've been having weird dreams," she confesses, "and they're scaring me. I can't tell anyone because they'll lock me up and throw away the key!"

"What is it?" I sit up. My friend is hurting and I feel her pain.

"I keep having this dream that Sebastian is coming to my bed, changing into a man and sleeping with me." I sit staring at her. Is she kidding?

"I know, I'm crazy!"

"No," I try to reassure her even though I think she's crazy.

"It's bestiality. It's sexual deviant behavior. I'm in love with a dog!" Tears

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begin to fall and I can think of nothing to do but hand her the box of tissues.

"Slow down!" I almost yell, "tell me what is going on and since when?"

"Well, for a long time I've dreamed that he comes to my house. I dream of looking out the window and see him in the bushes, watching me. Then I began to dream that he was coming in my room and climbing in my bed. Just sleeping at the foot of my bed. Then he'd come and be in bed with me. I'd wake feeling the bed warm next to me. But at Christmas, I had a sick dream! I just chalked it up to the booze!"

I knew that Patsy had gone to a party with Steve. I didn't have the guts to go. I knew there would be alcohol. Simon and Steve took Patsy. She got drunk for the first time in her life and puked all over the hood of Steve's car. Simon later told me that he had carried her to her room and simply dropped her in her bed with the trashcan next to her head. The next day she looked horrible.

"What was the dream?" I ask, afraid of what she would say.

"I don't think I was really asleep. I was too sick to sleep. Sebastian was in bed with me and his nose was in my face. His breath stunk and I felt sick, so I leaned off the bed to puke and almost fell into the trashcan. He grabbed me and held me. He even kept my hair out of my face! I fell back into the bed and he was kissing my cheek and face and he wasn't a dog! He was a totally sexy man. A grown man!" I know my mouth has fallen open. Patsy looks away from me, ashamed.

"Patsy! What if it was a man? A stranger?"

She shakes her head.

"I was going to scream. Then I saw his necklace. It's the collar he wears. I thick silver chain and his damn name on the pendant! It was him!" I suddenly feel ill. How many times have I changed my clothes in front of the dog? Or taken a bath or shower with him?

"Patsy!"

"I know! I'm crazy! But what's worse is, I sat up and kissed him!"

"Gross!"

"I know! All puke breath and…, he kissed me back and the next thing I know he's fucking me! I shouldn't say it that way. He made love to me! For a long time! I let him! He was licking me down there and then he was on me, humping me! I remember everything about it. Even the last time. He got behind me like he had me in the yard, only this time he did it! Shy! I'm nuts!"

"Patsy! It was a dream! He's a dog!" I try not to sound upset.

"I know, but since then, I dream he's in my bed! I even stayed up all night once to make sure. I'm nuts! Will you come visit me in the state hospital?"

"You aren't nuts and you are not having an affair with my dog!" I declare.

"What?"

Patsy and I both jump.

Cruz in standing in the doorway, looking shocked.

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"Nothing!" Patsy moans.

"What are you talking about?" Cruz demands.

"Patsy was telling me about a dream she had," I say quickly.

"I'm a sexual deviant!" Patsy moans, falling face first into the sofa. "It's a felony in twenty states!"

"Patsy…"

I look to Cruz for help and notice his face. He's mad. It's then that I realize the truth. I really have no idea what Sebastian is. Could he be a man? Could he turn into a man? Can he? Is he having sexual relations with my best friend? Am I really thinking this? I know my life is about to take another twist and turn. Cruz is standing there, looking angry. Patsy is crying. I lean over and help her sit up. She falls into my lap.

"Did you drink more than cider?" Cruz asks. Patsy shakes her head. "Both of you go up to bed. If she's bothered by the dog, send him down to me."

I take the hint and stand. Patsy stands and we go back to my room. The door is open and the bedroom empty. We fall into bed and I listen to Patsy sniffle, then drift off to sleep before I climb from my bed and hurry to the study. I hear the yelling and suddenly, I know. I open the door and find Cruz yelling at a naked, hairy man. I slam the door and they both turn to face me. Sebastian grabs a pillow off the sofa and holds it in front of his private parts. The parts I want to rip off him.

"Shy!" Cruz looks like a deer in headlights.

"You!" I yell, charging at the man. I grab a magazine off the table and hit him with it. "You raped my friend! I'll neuter you with my bare hands!"

"No! Shyane! I'm sorry!" Sebastian climbs onto a chair and ducks his head under his arms. I whale on him until Cruz grabs me. Sebastian is whimpering. "Shyane! I love her!"

"Are you crazy?" I scream. "You animal!" I break away from Cruz and swing my fists at Sebastian. I hit him twice before Cruz gets a hold on me.

"Stop it!" Cruz hisses in my ear.

"I'm sorry. I asked. She said yes and she was so pretty, and…, I love her!" Sebastian wails.

"You raped her!" I hiss.

"I asked!"

"She was drunk!"

"She enjoyed it! She always does!" I scream and try to hit him again.

"Sebastian! Sit!" Cruz yells and the man sits. "I told you not to do this. You promised!"

"You said not to show myself to Shyane. You said nothing about Patsy. And I can't help it that I love her. I do. Nardo! I love her!"

"Great!" Cruz moans, "You are leaving tonight! You will never see her again! I won't have this! Sebastian! You took advantage of a child! A human

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child!" I see my father getting angry. His eyes are burning red. I know how he feels. "You made that girl question her sanity!"

"I'm sorry! Nardo! Please! I love her! You have to help me!" Sebastian almost howls. It's so surreal!

"I'll help you!" Cruz snaps, "Right back to the other world!"

"No!" Sebastian howls as if in agony.

"Stop it!" Cruz orders and Sebastian sits huddled in the chair whimpering. "I should let Shy neuter you!"

"You!" We all turn to find Patsy standing in the doorway, looking shocked. Well, shocked, right up until she faints.

"Patsy!" Cruz and I are knocked over as Sebastian runs, on all fours to my fallen friend.

"Cruz?" I sit up and look at my father.

"We'll think of something." He mumbles and helps me up.

Patsy is sat down and told that Sebastian is as old as her grandfather and kind of like a werewolf, only he doesn't kill people. She takes it very well, she only faints two more times. After Cruz explains and Sebastian changes back into a dog, right in front of us, she only looks confused. Sebastian lays his head in her lap and whines.

"So, I'm not crazy?" Patsy finally asks.

"No, but you were taken advantage of!" Cruz shakes his head and glares at Sebastian.

"Oh!" Patsy looks more confused and pained than before. "So I have to stop having sex with him?"

"What?" Cruz sits down.

"Are you going to get mad again?" Patsy looks frightened of my father.

"I don't get angry often, but this will do it!" Cruz runs his hand over his face. "It won't happen again."

"Dr. Cruz, will you answer a question for me?" Patsy asks softly, holding tight to Sebastian.

"Yes. What is it Patsy?"

"What are you?"

I gulp. When I look at my father he looks more tired than I have ever seen him.

"That, Patsy, is hard to explain, harder to understand, and a secret." He looks from me to Patsy.

"Well, I won't tell anyone," Patsy sighs, hugging Sebastian, "but you really shouldn't have glowing red eyes thing going on around us humans. It freaks us out."

After that night, Patsy said nothing else about her weird dreams. I didn't bathe, shower or undress with Sebastian in my room or in my general vicinity. Cruz mumbled a lot more. Sebastian didn't sleep in my bed every night. Patsy

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didn't sleep over any more. Simon kissed me in more than a friendly way. And Patsy told me that Steve was gay. Happy New Year!

After dinner I climbed the stairs to my room and threw myself across my bed. I had homework and there was a Valentine's dance that I wanted to go to, only Simon hasn't asked me. Every other guy in the school has, but not Simon. I'm frustrated and embarrassed. I don't want to ask Simon. I was sure he would ask me. I even had Cruz take me shopping for a dress. A very pretty red one. An adult dress and matching shoes. Shoes with high heels. I had to fight with Cruz to buy them. He said they were too old for me. So, I acted like a child and threw a very public fit. I got the dress. Now, I might not get to wear it. I moan.

"What's wrong now?" Sebastian asks as he climbs onto the bed with me.

Now that I know he's human more often than dog, I just think of him as my dog, and find myself patting his head a lot. He's pulled on a pair of shorts and is scratching behind his ear. At least he isn't licking his ass. I frown at my thoughts. I have become so crude! Since I've been hanging out with the popular crowd, I'm learning to be rude, snotty and a smart aleck, which is not to my liking or Cruz's. Twice he has given me disapproving looks for remarks I've made. Especially around Dr. Brooks.

"Do you think Simon will ask me to the dance?" I ask.

"Yep, he's just being shy. Shy about asking out Shy."

"You are a nut!"

"No, I'm missing Patsy." He lays down on the bed, his head resting on his hands as he does when he's a dog.

"She's busy. Jeez! Don't you two ever get tired of doing it?"

"No!"

I roll my eyes because I know he's serious.

I look over at him. He's handsome. Sebastian as a human is not what I expected when I looked at Sebastian the dog. He's tall, thin, muscular, hairy with deep blue eyes, and sandy brown hair with blonde highlights. His face is sculpted and he has deep dimples in his cheeks. If he wasn't so scruffy looking, he'd be model material. And at least now he doesn't have as many fleas. Apparently, Patsy makes him bathe a lot. He also smells a lot better. Mainly his breath.

"Wait until you do it, then you'll understand."

I listen to Sebastian but act like I'm not. I don't want to think about having sex with anyone. Not after Peter. And besides, no one likes me that way. I thought Simon did, but he's been avoiding me all week. I wonder if he knows I bought a dress? Patsy usually tells him everything but she's been busy with school, Sebastian and Steve. I have all the time I need on my hands. Now, more so, since I'm not going to the dance. I lay my head down on my books and look into Sebastian's big blue eyes.

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"You know a lot of muses?" I ask.

"No," he frowns, wiggles his nose and yawns. "Diana and Lori. Other than that, the rest are in the wind."

"Huh?"

"No one knows where they are."

"Is that normal?"

"Yeah, when you are considered a prize you don't want to be, you tend to want to hide from the world. Some get married to humans, shack up, play human for a while or just go someplace for solitude." Sebastian licks his lips wildly. At times his over exaggerated actions are quite hilarious, at times. Now is not one of them.

"So will I have to hide forever?"

"Maybe." The one thing I could get from Sebastian was the truth. "If you have to, we'll be there to take care of you."

"What about Patsy?"

"Huh?"

"Will you leave Patsy to protect me?" I sit up.

"If I have to." He tilts his head to the side to take me in. "We all will."

"Why?"

"Because we're drawn to you. I was in love with you for a long time." He tilts his head the other way. "Malcolm still is." I smile at the thought of the handsome vampire. "And Peter is still obsessed with you."

"What is Peter?" Sebastian sits up and I know if he could his ears would be tilted forward. "What are you?"

"I'm an endeavored spirit," Sebastian smiles. "I was once a man, Native American, and I fell in love with a woman. I sought favor of the gods so that she would love me. But love cannot be bought or forced. I begged, and she fell in love with me. But I was cursed." He frowns. "She died. All human's do. And I found that I couldn't live as a human without her. I wouldn't do what my benefactor wanted of me. So he turned me into a wolf. After many years, I learned how to be human again. But not all the time. So this is what I am."

"How old are you?"

"I'm not sure, but I do know that I was born before the Civil War." He smiles at me and I'm not sure if he's kidding me.

"And Cruz?"

"Nardo is royalty," Sebastian smiles brightly, "He's not a lowly demon or anything like that. He's just simply an Immortal. He was born in the days of knights and kings, the son of a king and destined to rule. But since he never died…"

"He lives on in solidarity with a silly wolf and a bunch of hippie vampires." I look over my shoulder to see Cruz in the doorway. I know that look on his face. "Sebastian, could you give us a moment?" I wait as Sebastian changes

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and leaps from my bed. Cruz shuts the door and comes to sit with me.

"What questions do you have?"

"Not so many, really, except that my life is going to be like yours, isn't it?" He frowns slightly. "Am I gonna be like that vampire kid in the Tom Cruise vampire movie? Will I never grow up? Will I never be happy? Will I ever get boobs?" I watch as Cruz looks like he wants to run. "You said to ask!"

"I did." He huffs out a long breath. "I just didn't expect this."

"Well, would you rather explain where babies come from?" I ask, way too seriously. He stands and begins to pace. "just forget it." I fall back on the bed.

"No, I should tell you what I know." He walks back to stand before me. "I, like you, was born to pay a debt." I know my jaw falls open. "You and that mouth." He cups my chin to make me close it. "It was long before what you think royalty are. Yes, I am of royal blood, but I am not the first son. I'm not as important. Or at least, I wasn't," he smiles at me. "My father gave me to an Immortal after the Immortal took his side in a great battle. After the battle, I was taken from my mother's arms. She was told she could have more children."

"There weren't castles like you see on TV. It was just a large estate." Cruz walks over to the window. "Like you, I was a servant to be used by the mistress of the Immortal. To keep her happy and out of his hair. I lived in the other world most of my human life. And it wasn't always a happy life. I must have been about twenty when my father pierced the wall between this world and the other and brought me back."

"Brought you back?" I whisper.

"My brother had died. I was now the first born. That meant a lot to my father. He killed my mistress. I..," Cruz breathes deeply, "I loved her dearly. Like a man loves a woman. She was bleeding as the fighting went on about us." I sit, waiting. I know this is bad. "I drank of her blood. I gorged myself as her life blood left her body. She held my head to her wound and whispered that she gave her life to me. Then I was dragged back to this world."

"My father had me schooled, trained and brainwashed. He told everyone that I had been away at school. I was told to behave and do as I was told or I would be killed. My father had to keep up appearances. And he had to have a son to keep his land. He wanted that land, so he put up with me and my weirdness."

"You drank blood?"

"No, she was not a vampire." He smiles at me. "I only drank her blood. I spilled a lot. Every battle. I was the knight who led my father's men into fights, and we won. Many humans died at my hand. As years passed it was common knowledge that I didn't age as most people. By the time my father died he had another son. My brother was two, my father eighty. I stayed to protect my brother's inheritance and left once he was a man."

"When I did return my baby brother was he was long dead and I was the

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long lost cousin of my nephew. I return now and again to see how the world has changed but … my life there ended a long time ago." So he did know what it felt like to lose family. "I've never had a child. I was more than a little shocked when I learned about you."

"It's a girl," I tease.

"Shyane, you will be lonely. But not always. There are others like us."

"The hippie vampires?"

"More than just them," he chuckles, "Good Lord, I hope more than them!"

"They aren't so bad."

"They're not so sober," Cruz mumbles. "No, the world beyond is very different."

"Then why did you bring me here?"

"To keep you safe, to let your recover in a world you understood. The plan was to let you recover, graduate high school and then move to the other world for a while. Come back in a few decades and do it all again." He grins at me. "I want you to know that this is not a life for everyone."

"Am I recovered? Have you decided that I'm not crazy?"

"I never thought you were. I just want you to be ready for the world, when the time comes."

"I'll fall in love, and then what?"

"Like me, you'll love, live and laugh. Then you'll move on."

"Cruz? What is Peter?" I watch his face pale.

"Something dangerous," Cruz replies. "He'll be after you as long as you live. He's obsessed."

"He'll kill me, won't he?"

"If he thinks he can't have you, yes."

"You mean if he gets his hands on me while I'm still a virgin?"

"Yes."

"Should I go out and get laid?" I ask half seriously.

"No!" his eyes flash red at me and I jump back. He closes his eyes and breathes deeply. "I don't want you doing that. I don't want you to experience it as just sex. Why can't you understand that love and sex are two different things? I want you to experience love. Is that so much to ask?"

"No. I just don't think it'll ever happen."

"Shyane, you're fourteen. Give it a couple of years." Cruz leans down to kiss my forehead. "Love comes slowly sometimes."

"Cruz, do you still keep an eye on my family? My Mom and Dad?" I had wanted to ask that question for a long time.

"Yes, they are all well."

"Would you tell me if they weren't?"

"Yes."

"Thank you."

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"Promise you won't go off and get naked with some fool for the wrong reasons?"

"Promise me you'll keep me updated on my family?" I ask. Cruz stares at me for a long moment.

"Would you like to visit them again?" I can tell it hurts him to ask the question of me.

"Yes." I watch the troubled look on his face. "But I can't. The turmoil that I bring to their lives is too much. Maybe one day. Just not now. I like being here with you. I feel safe with you. There, I'm too scared to sleep. And I miss you." He nods to me.

"When you're ready, let me know."

He leaves me to do my homework and I try not to think of my family. That night, I climb in bed and dream about my family. I haven't done this in a long time. It's an odd dream. They are all happy. I walk among them in their daily lives. They can't see me. I see my mother writing at her computer. I stand behind her and she stops, turns and looks about. She feels me. I leave her.

Daddy is in the kitchen reading over some paperwork. He's eating cake and drinking coffee. I sit across from him and watch him. He hums as he works. When he's not humming, he's whistling. I watch his face. He looks so calm and young. Not worried or stressed. It is better that I'm not here. Now I know how ghosts feel when they walk upon the earth. The play 'Our Town' comes to mind and my heart aches. I've been forgotten.

Grandpa comes in from the barn and pours himself a cup of coffee. He sits next to my father and wordlessly, they have their 'man time' at the table as they always have. No words are exchanged. Papers are passed between the two and their replies are in grunts or whistles. Men. Grandpa gets slice of cake and eats it as he reads over the crop prediction. His hair is growing again. I miss the long braids. I miss every one. It hurts that they don't miss me.

"What are you two grunting over tonight?" Mommy asks as she comes for more coffee.

"Nothing."

Daddy smiles at her. She stops behind his chair and leans in to kiss him. They were never very affectionate to each other when I was there. There was always stress and coldness. My being gone has fixed the problems in their marriage. I know that I was more of a headache than anything. I feel as if I was the puppy that got left with them to watch and housebreak. Grandpa gets up for some milk for his coffee. I watch him stop at the fridge. His hand touches something on it.

I move to the fridge. It was once covered with school papers, calendars and appointments for my hectic schedule. My grooming for Peter. Now it's almost bare. They don't have to worry about any of that anymore. I'm not here and I don't need to be taxied around. My grades don't need to be perfect. They

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are free.

Grandpa doesn't move. I want to step around to see what he's looking at, when Mommy comes to him.

"I know, Dad." She hugs him. "We'll be okay."

"We never will be!" My grandfather sobs.

"Billy!"

Dad stands and helps Mommy get Grandpa back to his chair. He pours the milk in the coffee for Grandpa and puts the milk back. I notice he stops too. I step around him and see the picture of me on the fridge. Me. They must have taken it on my visit. I'm smiling. Daddy's fingers caress the photo. I notice the tears in his eyes. He sniffles and sighs.

"I want to see her before I die!" Grandpa wails.

"She promised me she'd be back. She will." Daddy moves back to the table and pats Grandpa on the shoulder, the firm rough pat men give each other. "My baby never breaks a promise." He wipes away a tear and sits down. "My Shyane will be back to visit." He winks at Mommy and she hugs Grandpa.

I am missed. I smile in my sleep. I know it's just a dream…but I want to believe. I look back at the fridge before I leave and see something else. I walk to it and the closer I get, the clearer it becomes. It's a flyer. It's Millie. A picture of her. The poster lists her physical description. The title freezes my cold blood. Have you seen this child!

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The

Ploy

"But it could come to pass?" I ask, shaking so hard that my teeth are chattering.

"I never should have told you!" Cruz scoops me up into his arms and runs back to the house.

I woke from my dream and ran to his room. It was empty. I ran to the den. It was empty. I saw the car and ran out to the garden. I heard the arguing. They had been doing this a lot. Cruz doesn't like to argue in the house so when she comes over late at night, they walk in the garden and discuss me. Mainly, Dr. Brooks tries to talk him into sending me away. It used to bug me but I discovered that Cruz likes to hear her plans. It amuses him, since he's never going to let me go. He's tried to let her go, but she keeps coming back.

"Evelyn!" Cruz almost laughs. "I'm going skiing with the school. I told you that."

"Well, haven't you become Daddy Dearest!"

"I happen to like skiing."

"Since when did you like children?" Her voice is cold and heartless.

"Always. You never have."

"No, I don't. I can't come here without tripping over one or two of them. Or that damn dog! Nardo! We need time away. Me and you. No children. No dog. No frumpy maids. Let's go away over the weekend!"

That was as far as she got before I burst through the bushes and fell into Cruz's arms. It's cold out. In fact, it had been snowing lightly all day and here I am, running through the snow in nothing but my nightgown and underwear.

"Shyane!" Cruz yells and scoops me up.

Richard is right behind me with a blanket. He throws it over me and they run for the house with me and leave Dr. Brooks in the garden with the plans for a getaway right on the tip of her tongue. I look back and in the moonlight see that she is really pissed. I hug Cruz and begin to cry.

"Calm down!" he orders and carries me into the den. Richard is starting the fire in the fireplace and I'm set before it in a chair and more blankets are thrown on me. "What is going on?" Cruz asks.

"I had a nightmare," I sob, "A bad one!"

He's relieved. "Settle down. We'll talk in a moment. Let me walk Dr. Brooks to her car."

"She's mad," I whisper through chattering teeth.

"So what." He winks at me and I hear arguing in the hallway.

Sebastian comes in from his nightly frolic with Patsy and lays on my feet. I can't stop shaking, even though I'm getting warm. Richard leaves and comes back with a cup of something steaming. I take it and sip. Hot chocolate. Delicious. I hear the front door slam and the bolt slide into place. She's gone. I turn to find Cruz coming back with a grin on his face.

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"Now, what has you running helter skelter through the snow in the middle of the night?"

"I had a dream. A bad one. I think I was there!"

"Where is there?" Cruz pulls up a chair to sit with me.

"Home. I think I was there and I think it's the future." My teeth calm down. "I was there with my Mom, my Dad and my Grandpa. They were talking and having coffee and when they got in the fridge, there was a flyer with Millie's picture on it. A 'have you seen this child' poster. She's missing."

"Or she will be," Richard mumbles. I sip more of the hot chocolate.

"What does it mean?" I ask, sitting in the midst of the Immortals who protect me.

"It could be a foreseeing or simply a dream," Cruz says as he rubs his face. I can tell he's flustered because he knows what I'm going to ask.

"I need to go home."

The room is quiet and I know that the men are trying to think of how to convince me not to go. I get ready for a fight. I know it was a dream but it felt too real to be anything but true. If not now, then it will happen. I can't let that happen.

"First, we get the hippies to go. See how it is. Maybe we could set up a visit in a day or two. It might be better if I go first and talk to your parents. Test the waters.

"The waters?"

"Make sure nothing is watching them. Waiting. It could be more dangerous for them if we go in blind."

"Meaning?" I hate when he talks in circles and riddles. I'm not stupid.

"Your location is still unknown to the other world. The only connection is your family. You going home could bring on the missing child. If the other world knows you go for visits, then they will assume your family knows your whereabouts and take the child to force your hand."

Okay, so I am that stupid. I never thought about how my return would and could hurt my family. How their knowledge of my whereabouts could put them in danger. If no one knows where I am, then they might leave my family alone. Then again…

"So what do we do?"

"We send the hippies to crawl around the dark and keep an eye on your family. Let's make sure nothing is lurking in the shadows first, then I will go and talk to your family. I'll warn them. We'll see what we can do from there." Cruz reaches out to caress my cheek. "We won't let anything happen to them. Not if we can help it."

His words are reassuring.

"Why do you call them the hippies?" I ask.

"They live for blood but like marijuana, more than they should. They get

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stoned, then they get the munchies. More times than they'll admit they've been caught in convenience stores terrorizing the patrons as they kill Twinkies and eat chocolate," Sebastian answers, scratching his armpit. He's wrapped in a blanket. He's forbidden to be naked around me so he climbed up under one of my discarded blankets and stood wrapping and scratching. "They're pleasant enough stoned until you get in the way of the snack aisle."

"I'll talk to them," Richard winks to me as he leaves the study.

"You need to get back to bed." Cruz takes my empty cup and helps me unwrap from the layers of blankets. "I can't believe you came running out there!"

"I'm sorry I interrupted your time with Dr. Brooks." I climb from my cocoon, shivering. It's very cold.

"I should thank you. She was being annoying, as usual." He walks with me back to my room.

"You dated her before I came along." I lean on him as we walk.

"I guess you could call it that."

"Or was it just sex?"

He stops to look down at me.

"That is none of your concern." His eyes flash with amused horror.

"So I don't have to call her 'mommy' or refer to her in terms such as step monster or such?" I ask as innocently as possible.

"For that, I should spank you." We continue on to my room. He's quiet. I know that he wants to ask me something and is trying to think of how to ask.

"What do you want to ask?" I sigh.

"You do know about sex and the principles involved?"

"Principles?" I tease.

"This is hard enough without you making me feel foolish!" he mumbles.

"Mommy told me," I grin.

"She did?"

"Well, she kind of had no choice." I frown, thinking of my study session in the public library with a copy of the Kama Sutra.

"Meaning?" His tone is slightly menacing.

"I knew I was to be Peter's and I had an idea of what he wanted so I thought I should learn about it. So I went to the library and began to research it. The librarian called Mommy and she came to the library and dragged me out. We went to a restaurant and she got drunk and explained it all to me."

"Drunk?"

"She said she could talk better if her tongue was loose."

He sighs heavily and looks down at me.

"I remember." I don't think that he meant to say that out loud and looks embarrassed. "Go to bed."

"Cruz, when will I know if I can go home?" His face falls and he looks

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hurt. I know he wants me to think of this as my home. And I do. "Or back there. This is my home." I try not to sound as if I'm not bullshitting him.

"Good try," Cruz smiles down at me. Busted! "Give the hippies a couple of days and maybe you can go this weekend. I'll go on Friday, then you can see them Sunday. Isn't that when the family gets together?" I nod.

"Into bed." I go into my room and climb into bed. Cruz tucks me in as if I'm a small child. I give him a confused look. "I missed out on this, so just bear with me," he said. I shrug down into my bed and yawn.

"Cruz?" I ask through my yawn.

"Yeah?"

"Can you stay here with me until I fall asleep?" Without questioning, he pulls a chair up and settles down next to my bed. "Do you ever sleep?"

"No, not really," he smiles at me, "I read a lot."

"So you don't dream?" I whisper my question because I am right on the cusp of sleep.

"No, I live my dreams."

I feel his hand caress my cheek. I miss my father. Charles. I feel safer with Cruz. Unlike Charles, Cruz will never let anyone take me from him. I know I'm smiling as I fall asleep because I feel so warm, comfortable and safe. I'm with Cruz. No one will hurt me, take me or scare me as long as Cruz is here with me. I drift off to a peaceful sleep.

"Boo!" The words are soft, but I still jump and clutch my chest. My heart is in my chest as I come out of my closet.

"You goofball!" I hit Malcolm in the chest with my fist. He smiles and catches my hand in his. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

"Can I give you CPR?"

Malcolm grabs me and pulls me into his arms, kissing me tenderly. I can't fight or protest. I feel him lift me into his arms and I let him kiss me. He pulls back from me and smiles. I push his chest and he sets me down. I'm lightheaded and hold onto his arm.

"That was worth staking out your old home, little dancer." Malcolm grins at me, and helps me over to sit in the chair. I can't seem to get my legs to work. This kiss has drained me. I don't understand that. "You're kind of shaky."

"I know. I don't know why." I lean back in the chair. "My family? How are they? Is everyone safe? Millie?"

"Come on," Malcolm takes my hand and leads me down to the study. This is bad. It has to be bad news.

Cruz is laughing with another vampire. This one is young, about my age, and seems happy to see Cruz. I walk into the room and they stop laughing. It's bad. I sit down shakily on the sofa and wait. Malcolm plops down in a chair and  
stretches his long legs out before him. I look around for Sebastian, but have a

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feeling he's with Patsy. I watch the young vampire walk over to look at me.

"So," he smiles at me, flashing his fangs. If it's meant to intimidate me, it doesn't work. He's not the first vampire I've met. But he is the most handsome. "This is the new one." His perfectly pale blue eyes light on me. "I'm Victor." He bows to me slightly.

Victor is young and pretty. He's at that stage where a boy has not yet become a man and still has the beauty of a child. Victor's eyelashes are long, black and outline his eyes in the most delightful way. His face is pale with a smidge of rose cheeks and his lips are full, plump and delicious looking. I'm terribly drawn to him. In fact, I simply want to jump his bones.

"Hello," I sigh, dreamily. I've never felt this way before. I've never been so attracted to anyone, human or not. Victor takes my hand in his and kisses the back of it. I feel my heart flutter. "It's truly a pleasure to meet you, Shyane. I've heard so much about you."

"Okay," I whisper in awe. Victor's beauty is simply breath taking.

"She's entertaining!" Victor laughs at Cruz.

"She has her moments." Cruz sits next to me. "Shyane, Victor's mother is a muse and his father a vampire. He has your attributes. He can draw women to him as you draw men."

"Okay," I agree readily.

"Shyane!" Cruz laughs. "You are impossible!"

"Okay," I giggle. I'm drunk on Victor.

"We assessed the problem with your parents and I'm afraid it's not good." Victor's serious words bring me off of my high. "Your niece, Millie, is trying to make a deal with an Immortal."

"What?" I jump at the words. "For what? Favor?"

"A trade." Cruz reaches out to take my hand. "Millie has asked an Immortal to take her as a concubine."

"What!" I almost scream. "Why would she do that? How could she do that?"

"Easy," Victor sighs, "I answered her call. She was quite determined. She claimed that you stole her future. That you ruined her life."

"Me? How?"

"You took her place." Victor tilts his head as he assessed my panicked state. "According to her."

"I …" I'm stumped. How could Millie do this?

"She was looking for Peter, but I answered the call." Victor smiles at me again. "I was curious."

"And?" I almost snarl at him. He smiles in amusement and steps around me, slowly.

"I refused. One who is so willing to give herself is usually more trouble than she is worth. And she seemed to be more trouble than I cared for. I have

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to be careful who I take into my home and life. Some become more than a little

obsessed and that's difficult to live with," Victor laughs lightly. Yeah, he got the gist of Millie.

"So you refused and that's the end?"

"She'll try again." Victor's eyes are on my face. I fight for clarity.

"You think so?" I know so, but need reassuring.

"She will," Cruz answers. "Shyane, you need to talk to her. Tell her what happened to you so she'll understand that this is not some fairy tale. There is no sunshine and rainbows. There's pain and suffering and…"

"I remember." I look down. "She won't believe me."

"She has to." Cruz reaches out to take my hand in his. "She will offer you up in trade. We have to stop her." I frown. No, Millie will not stop.

"When?"

"Now." Cruz stands, "As soon as possible."

"Is it safe?" I ask. Not just for me but for my family.

"It will be." Victor smiles his dazzling smile at me. "I'll escort you."

"And I'll guard you little dancer." Malcolm stands and stretches. I notice he looks slightly outshone by Victor. "Kai and Stewart are there now."

Now. They want me to go home now. They want me to tell Millie what happened to me so she won't try and get taken. So she won't give me up. I look at Cruz and know what he's thinking. Either I make Millie stop or he will. He won't allow me to be hurt. I'm his child. Millie is nothing to him. She's my best friend, my niece, my… she's the reason I am. I nod. I have to go home.

"How long should I pack for?" I ask.

"We have to go and return today." Cruz stands. "Now." I stand with my entourage and follow Cruz. We are going home.

Cruz goes in first. He looks somber as he climbs from the car. I'm sitting between Malcolm and Richard. Cruz wouldn't let me sit with Victor. I'm kind of glad. I'm so attracted to him that it frightens me. We all sit in the car waiting. It feels as if hours pass before Mommy and Daddy step onto the porch, looking both frightened and anxious. They look at the car and then into the woods. I hate seeing them this way. I know this is the last time I will return home.

"Come on." Richard steps out of the car and waits for me.

I take a deep breath, climb out and hurry into the house with my parents. Daddy catches me in his arms and holds me against him as he cries into my hair. I hug him tightly and cry too. Mommy hugs us both, but when I look up, I see her eyes are on Cruz. I don't want to think of that. I pull from my father's arms and look about the kitchen. The refrigerator is the same as when I left. My old 'A' papers are still on the front, held there by magnets. I feel at ease until I see the picture. It's the picture I saw in my dream. My heart sinks.

"Did he tell you?" I ask, reaching out to touch the photo.

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"Yes," Daddy answers. "I'll wear the hide off her butt."

"No, Daddy," I beg, "that won't help."

"What won't help?"

I find my Grandpa in the doorway. I run to hug him. He holds me tightly and listens to Mommy tell him what's going on. His strong arms hold me close and I begin to cry. This is the first time I have cried in their presence. I never wanted them to know. I never wanted anyone to know just how terrified I was growing up, knowing that I was the family tribute. Now I cry.

"You stay here," Daddy pats my head. "I'll bring Millie home. We need to clear this up."

"Should we call Charlotte and Joe?" Mommy asks.

"No," Daddy shakes his head, "they will beat her butt. Not that I disagree, I just think we should let Shy talk to her and see if it helps."

"If not?" Mommy asks in a shaky voice.

"Then I'll wear the hide off her butt!" With that my Daddy leaves, slamming the door behind him.

"Let's sit in here." Mommy leads us to the living room. I sit down next to Grandpa who won't let go of me. I feel safe sitting next to him in my home. "How are you?" Mommy is making small talk and I'm not sure at first if she's talking to me or Cruz. Her eyes are on him, but I think she's talking to me, so I answer.

"I'm doing well," I say.

"In school?" She sits across from me. I blink and try and think of what to say. She's not really interested.

"I'm doing well. I have some friends." Cruz's eyes are on me. I feel very uncomfortable.

"Good." Mommy finally looks at me. "Shyane, will you consider coming back home to live?"

"It's not safe," I reply. Cruz seems to tense up.

"Our family debt is fulfilled. It's safe!" Mommy moves to take my hand. I feel detached.

"No, it's not. Millie won't let it go and neither will he." I fell my stomach turn.

"He?" Grandpa asks looking down at me.

"Peter wants me and he won't stop. Millie will continue to try to get an Immortal to take her and sooner or later, she's going to come across Peter. She'll tell him where I am and who I am with. I can't come back because he'll come for me."

Grandpa looks up at Cruz. Cruz nods. Mommy sighs and then sniffles. I look around. Only Victor came in with us. Richard must be outside and the hippies are in the woods. This was home. This was home for my whole life, and now I'm a stranger here. Not only do I feel like an outsider, but I also feel

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afraid. I don't know what's happening or why. I know my life was nothing but a means to an end. Happiness and prosperity for my family. I was never meant to live with them. I was only meant to suffer for them. And yet, I love them.

"Why is this happening?" Mommy sniffles.

"Because it was Millie who was to be his," Cruz answers. "She knows it. You all know it. It was Fate, and you challenged it." Cruz's voice is angry. "Now we all have to pay for it. With her life." He nods towards me.

"I only meant to spare Charlotte the pain of losing a child!" Mommy cries. I move to sit next to her. She hugs me and kisses my head. "I didn't know how hard it would be!" I look to Cruz for help. He won't look at me. His face is angry and his eyes are on my mother.

"So you took my child to pay your family's debt," he almost growls. "A debt you made out of greed!" I wince at the words he speaks to my grandfather. "The only one of you I have any respect for is Charles. He's given her all of himself, knowing she wasn't his. I'm indebted to him for this, and that's the only reason I'm here to warn you. Otherwise, I would let the other world take you and destroy you without a second thought." I hold tightly to my Mother.

"I didn't mean to…"

"Deceive me for fifteen years?" Cruz's words cut like a knife. I wince and I know the words aren't meant for me. Mommy sobs into my hair as she hugs me close.

"I couldn't tell you."

"You took from me and now I take from you. Shyane will never return here. It's too dangerous for her. If you don't control your grandchild, I'll make sure she gets her wish. That will ensure everyone's safety. Shyane is my daughter and my only concern." Mommy nods and holds me. I look helplessly at Grandpa. He's crying. I hate this.

"Cruz," I whisper, "please stop." His eyes are beginning to glow. I bite my lip and hug Mommy.

"Get Millie under control!" Cruz stands and storms from the room. I cry with Mommy.

"She won't stop!" Mommy moans. "She's a stupid little fool!"

"We have to convince her to stop!" Grandpa's voice cracks.

"She won't!" Mommy cries. I look up and find Victor smiling at me. "Convince her." He says.

"How?" I ask.

"Show her what will happen." I shiver at his words because I don't want to remember. "Show her what it's really like for humans in the other world."

"How?" I ask.

"Trust me?" his dazzling smile does not ease the pain in my chest or the turbulence in my stomach. I dreamed her picture on that flyer. That doesn't

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mean it will actually come to pass. It might. I look at Victor and frown. I do trust him but..,

"Yeah, but it doesn't make me feel better."

"There are so many things I need to tell you." I say as I walk with Millie in the field behind our home.

"Wonderful things that you experience?" Millie hisses. She's so angry with me. Daddy confronted her in the truck and yelled at her the entire way home. She climbed from the truck, slamming the door and ready for a fight. I walked to her and she wasn't surprised, but pissed. I walked in the field and motioned for her to follow me. She did, stomping the whole way.

"Not even close. Millie, you don't want this. I wasn't put on a pedestal and worshiped. I was beaten." I swallow to keep from screaming the words at Millie.

I want to do more than scream. I want to wash her face. She looks like the walking dead. She's more into Goth than ever. Mommy had told me that Millie was dabbling in the Wiccan lifestyle and hanging out with a very unsavory group since Phil had dumped her. Once again, something I was blamed for. Her hair is so black that it's blue. Her skin is pale and her eyes lined in the blackest of black eye shadow. She's wearing tight black skinny jeans, a tight t shirt and a black leather spiked dog collar. I wince at this.

"You survived!" she accuses.

"Millie, what he did to me was…" I stop to look at her. She's not going to listen. Her mind is made up. "I had one of those." I reach up to touch the collar. "He put it on me and attached a leash. He pulled me by it, he whipped me with it and he tied me up with it."

"You're lying!" Millie laughs, "It's not like that! We're tributes! We're loved and adored!" She walks around me, almost dancing.

This is the happiest I've seen her in a long time. I'm saddened by this. She's living such a fantasy in her head that she'll do whatever it takes to get what she wants. Millie is used to manipulating the world to her desires. She's spoiled and manipulative. She's Millie. She wants her legacy. The legacy she believes I stole. And nobody takes anything from Millie.

"Millie, you need to stop this! You can't go looking for Immortals. You don't know what they're capable of. You don't understand…"

"And you do? You know everything! You get everything! It's my turn. I went and offered myself to an Immortal. He was so handsome and I know that he wants me. The next time I go, he'll come and take me away from this."

"What, this? Home? Do you know how badly I want to come home? I can't! Ever! It's not safe! Not for me, you, the family, or any of us!" I'm panting at her and she rolls her eyes. Millie won't listen. I look into the woods and nod. I walk on towards the woods where no one can see. "You can't do this!"

"You can't stop me!" Millie follows. "I want what is mine. You took it."

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"By being born. I didn't plan that."

"No, you just got lucky." Millie walks past me and kicks at the ground. "I get born and I have to live with the fact that you're gone because you saved me. I didn't ask to be saved. I just ask that I get my chance."

"Chance at what?" I ask. I'm beyond flustered.

"Being immortal."

I gasp.

"I want to be a vampire!" Millie actually looks excited by the concept.

"You have to die!"

"To live forever and be young forever? No problem!" She jumps up on a boulder and spins to laugh at me. "You'll be dead and forgotten and I'll still be having the time of my life."

"You won't have a life! You'll be dead!" I yell.

"No! I'll live forever," she smiles at me, "with him."

"Who him?" I snap.

"The vampire! He wants me!"

"No, you got that wrong," Victor steps from the shadows of the woods smiling. His fangs flashing. Millie gasps and jumps from the boulder. "I want her." I back away from him.

"Millie," I back into her, "run!"

"Forget it!" Millie pushes past me and walks right up to Victor, "I'm ready."

"Are you?" Victor smiles coldly at her.

"I've been waiting for you." Millie tries to sound sultry but her voice cracks.

"I'm not here for you." Victor looks Millie over as he steps around her, dismissing her. "I knew you'd come once you heard what this little fool did."

"Please, don't do this," I beg. I don't have to pretend to be frightened. Victor has a very menacing look about him. His eyes are almost glowing as he licks his lips. I see his fangs flicker at me and reach for Millie. She jerks free of my hold.

"Go away, Shy! Just go!" Millie shoves me and turns to Victor. "I'm ready."

"Go away." Victor steps past her and snatches my arm. I yelp as he jerks me up to him. "You aren't what I want. This is." Victor kisses my cheek and nuzzles my neck as I fight against his hold.

"Millie! Run!" I scream, kicking and punching Victor.

"Stop!" Millie screams. "Me! You want me! Stop!"

"Go away!" Victor pushes her and Millie is sent sailing into the brush. "Leave or I'll have you for a snack!"

"You want me!" Millie cries as she fights to stand.

"No," Victor laughs cruelly, "there is nothing special about you. But after I'm done here, I'll get with you for that snack."

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"You can't do this! I want to be yours!" Millie runs up, hitting him. She tries to pull me free. Victor strikes her and sends her to the ground. I hit him again.

"Sorry!" Victor whispers in my ear before flinging me to the ground.

I bounce and try to get my bearings. I sit up in time to see Victor holding Millie off the ground by the neck. She's fighting for air and clawing at his hand. The fear on her face is enough. It's all enough. I struggle to my feet. Before I can reach them he strikes her across the face several times. Millie cries out with each blow. By the time I grab his fist, her face is bloody.

"Stop!" I order. "Enough!" I can barely stand. The world is spinning and I can't get it to stop.

"Fine!" I watch him stare intensely into Millie's terrified eyes. "I'll save you for desert." Victor licks the blood from her cheek and simply drops her. Millie crumples to the ground, crying. Success! She's terrified.

"Now, your turn!" Victor turns to me and now I'm terrified.

Victor grabs a handful of my hair and jerks my head back. I scream and fight as he leans in and bites my neck. I panic. The one thing Victor told me not to do. I fight. He holds my head steady so that I don't tear my jugular. My fists pound and I kick and then I feel the sudden peace come over me. I stop screaming and go limp in his arms. The darkness takes me. My head rolls back, giving me a clear view of Millie screaming and running towards the house. I think we've convinced her. I think I'm dying.

"Breathe," Victor orders, smoothing my hair back. "Just breathe. It's the venom. It sedates my prey." Oh, how…interesting.

I'm lying in his arms looking up at the blue sky. I feel as if I'm floating. Victor is holding me against him. My head has fallen back and I feel like the world will stay upside down. I hear the yelling and screams. Victor kisses me tenderly and I feel his tongue invade my mouth, I taste my own blood and turn away. The feeling is overwhelming. I can't talk. I'm too weak. I shake my head slightly as he moves to kiss me again. Victor gently lies me down on the rocks so that it looks as if I were simply flung there.

"You owe me." He's smiling at me.

"Okay," I mumble, dreamily.

"I'll see you later tonight," he whispers, kissing my forehead before disappearing into the woods.

I'm not dead. Not even close, but I feel as if I am. Victor has made me ill. Vampire venom makes you so sick that you want to die. The antidote is to drink that vampire's blood. That was for later. For now, I feel like dying. I'm cold, my stomach is in knots, my head is pounding, my bones and muscles ache and I can't even cry. So I smile. Millie is safe. I hope she is. I hope this was worth it because if not, I'm going to kill her myself.

"Shyane!" I expect Cruz to get to me first. It's Daddy. He hugs me close

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and kisses me. "NO!" He's sobbing and holding me to his chest. He smells like Mommy's perfume. That's comforting. "Talk to me!"

"Here!" Cruz is there now, grabbing for me. "Let's get her to the house. Charles, let her go!"

They're fighting over me. I watch the men who are my fathers. Daddy looking panicked and terrified, Cruz angry and concerned. I know they both want to say the words 'she's mine' but don't. Mommy is crying and my Grandfather is holding her. Daddy is holding me to tightly and I have to push against his hold to breathe. I moan and the spell is broken.

"She's bleeding out," Cruz says. Daddy kisses my head and lets Cruz lift me out of his arms. He turns and runs for the house. "You did this on purpose!" he hisses at me.

"Millie's safe," I mumble. I've very happy. Even though I'm hurting.

"Not from me," he growls. I look up into his glowing red eyes.

"Am I in trouble?" I ask pitifully.

"You are. I'll deal with you when you're better and can feel it." I wince. That doesn't sound good. "I'm going to blister your tail!"

"You sound like my Dad."

"I am." Cruz kisses my head as he carries me into the house.

I wake in my bed. My old bed. My room is different. My bedroom is now a guestroom, which is fitting since I'm a guest now. I moan and try to sit up. I fail. My limbs feel too heavy to move. My head is about to explode. I turn and find Millie lying next to me, fast asleep. Her face is clean and she looks young and innocent again. This is what I remember, sleepovers at a time when Millie was my friend and not hating me for my very existence. I reach out to caress her cheek but my limbs are heavy and I end up smacking her in the face.

"OW!" She cries out and sits up to glare at me. Her face softens instantly. "Shy! You're alive!"

"You act surprised," I mumble with a smile, "You okay?"

"I'm fine," She sniffles. In the dim light I see the dark bruises on her face and throat. Victor made it very believable. My heart aches for her. "Shy?"

"Yeah?"

"Is that what happened to you?" Millie is crying softly as she asks. I nod.

"And more." I sigh, trying to sit up. I can't. I moan and she helps me. I'm surprised Cruz or Mommy aren't in here with us. But then, the plan was to convince Millie. I'm not a good actress, so we had to go this route. "It wasn't pleasant. It was a lot worse."

"Why didn't you run away?"

"I was locked in a cage, with a collar and leash on. There was no place to run. I dreamed about it, but…" I struggle to sit up, "then I would have broken the pact and all of you would have suffered."

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"I would have run away," Millie mumbles.

"No, you wouldn't have." I lean over to hug her. "You would have done the same thing." She hugs me and I feel her shake. She's crying and although it hurts to know she's this frightened, I'm glad for it. Maybe now she'll stop this insane plea for attention.

"Phil broke up me because of you," she sobs.

"Me? What did I do? I don't even live here!" she sits back from me and rubs her eyes.

"He was mad because I didn't tell him you were home. He said I was trying to hide you. He said I was selfish and..," she sniffles, "he's in love with you! He didn't care about me at all!"

"I'm not in love him! I don't even like him! What an ego! I'm glad you dumped him. If he didn't appreciate you, then he doesn't deserve you. And you're too cute to be dating that creep. Why did you go out with him? He's so… beneath you!" Millie smiles as I say this.

"I guess." She wipes her face again. "You think so?"

"I always thought you'd date someone older. You look older. You've always looked older than me." I sit back in the pillows. "All the high school boys look at you when you walk by."

"Do they?" So I'm stroking her ego. She needs it.

"Is Cruz here?"

"Yeah, he's eating dinner. You were out of it. Granny insisted he eat and she told me to hide out up here."

"Hide out?"

"Mom and Dad are here. Granny told them. Uncle Bradley and Aunt Marianne are here too and Jerome is on the way. I am going to get reamed to the max." She runs her hand through her hair. "I guess I deserve it."

"I'll talk to them." If I'm pathetic enough, they might let her actions slide. I doubt it, but I can try. The room begins to swim and I clutch the bedding. Suddenly, it hurts. I feel the inside of my mouth begin to sweat. "I gotta puke."

Millie moves off the bed just in time. I decide that I hate Victor.

My family is around me. Jerome is holding my hand. I still feel icky and I know it won't get better. I just want to go home. Home. Not here, but home with Cruz. I have to give it to Cruz, he's patient and calm as he endures my family. He keeps checking my forehead for a temperature. I'm clammy. I feel plain shitty. We sit with them for hours and then it's time. Cruz announces that I need to go home. My family does not argue. Once again, there is the slight undertone of relief. It hurts but I understand. I'm not supposed to be there.

I hug and kiss everyone and walk with Cruz to the car, leaning on him heavily. I can tell he's still angry. His eyes are normal, but he keeps hissing as if he's got a leak. We climb in the car and I settle back, moaning. I've been

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playing it off, being brave and trying to keep the peace, but now I let go and moan in pain. I receive no pity, but a side glare from Cruz. I lay my head on the door and close my eyes. I'd rather sleep than be glared at. I know I'm in a lot of trouble, Cruz is angry, Millie is safe. Our ploy worked. Success!

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The

Longing

"Bed!" Cruz orders as we pull up to the house. "I'll deal with you later."

I nod and trudge to my room. Sebastian is waiting. I crawl into bed and curl up next to him. We have been driving for hours. Hours to my old home and hours to my new home. It's been almost forty-eight hours since we left to stop Millie from endangering the lives of my family. I missed my bed and my dog. Sebastian lays his head on the pillow next to mine and whimpers.

"I'm fine," I mumble. "Go see your bitch!" He gets a silly smile on his face and I close my eyes. I can call Patsy that. Only me. Sebastian leaps from the bed and is gone. I open my eyes and watch the light begin to fade. It's evening. I close my eyes again and dream.

Victor is in my dream. He's kissing me. I kiss him back. His touch is light and gentle. I smile as his kisses move down my face to my neck. His hands tug at my clothing. I didn't even bother taking off my shoes. He sits up and removes my shoes, socks and then unfastens my jeans. I lay on my back as he lifts my hips and slides my jeans off. I gasp as he kisses my bare knee and rubs the other with his hand. My flesh gooses and I shudder. It's like electricity has passed through us. I open my eyes in the darkness and find I'm not dreaming and I'm not alone. I sit up slowly.

"You're ill." His voice is tender. "I can fix that." Victor kisses me again.

"Cruz is going to fix you," I mumble sleepily.

"He's not here. A meeting with the three stooges. Richard is downstairs guarding you. Be quiet or he'll come up here and catch us." He's pulling me into his arms.

"Catch us what?" I'm tired and confused.

"Me, making love to you." I shake my head and his mouth covers mine before I can protest. "Listen to me. I have to tell you what you already know, but don't understand." I gaze at him drowsily.

"What?"

"You and I are meant to be together. You feel it. Don't you?" His hand caresses my leg and I gasp. "I feel the same way, only a hundred times worse. You have a ways to go before you're ready for me." He kisses me again and eases me back into the bed. "I want you to know that this is who you are meant to be: mine.

"You sound like Peter."

"I'm nothing like Peter." He's not offended, but amused. "I am drawn to you more than I should be."

"Oh!" I sigh dreamily. "Is that good or bad?"

"Both." Victor smiles at me. "I want to take you with me."

"I can't. I have a history test and we're going skiing for Spring Break. Me, Patsy and Simon are going with Cruz." I yawn, then wince as my stomach clenches. "I hate you by the way. You made me sick."

"I did." He cups my chin in his hand and kisses me. He's confusing me.

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"Now I'm going to make you better and we'll talk."

"Okay." I yawn again.

Victor is smiling at me as he lifts his hand to my face, as if to strike me. I watch his hand warily. He takes his other hand and slices open the palm of his hand with his finger nail. The blood comes forth. I try to turn my head away, but he captures my chin with his freehand and holds my face as his hand moves to my lips. I wither in pain as his hand forces my lips to the blood. I want to vomit.

"Drink," he orders. I drink and let the warm blood fill my mouth. "Swallow." I do and gasp. I lay feeling the warmth spread through my body and filling me. The aching eases and my stomach stops flipping. Victor pulls his hand from my mouth. "Relax." I do.

"I can't take this from you," he whispers, kissing my cheek.

"What?"

"Your life." He climbs into the bed to lay next to me. "I know about the boy. The human." I look at him guiltily and I don't know why. "You should have that. Everyone should love a human at least once. I can wait for you. I want so desperately to take you with me. To love you. Forever."

"I'm going skiing," I say stupidly.

"Shyane, if I make love to you right now then you will never know human love, have children or experience life as a teen." Victor pushes my hair back from my face. "I can't do that to you. You can have this time. One day, you and I will be together."

"One day?"

"Do you feel this Shyane? The feeling of content, of desire and of need? You will grow up, go through high school, college, fall in love with this human, marry, have children and watch them age and die."

I frown at the thought.

"They will age and die and you will not. Once they're gone, you and I will be together."

"You aren't making any sense," I mumble, withering in the bed. I feel as if my body is on fire. I want him to touch me. I want him to stop talking and kiss me again.

"I want to make love to you." He kisses me again and I move to him. I want him to make love to me too. I want him to do it now. I'm panting like a dog in heat! "But I can't!" He pulls back from me and I moan in frustration. "I can't take this from you!"

"Take it!" I groan. Victor laughs at me.

"No, not now. I don't get this from you." His eyes travel from mine, down my body and back to my face. "I can please you, but that's all." I sit up and kiss him, forcing my mouth to his. He kisses me back, smiling "You're so horny and have no clue what to do!" I hate that he's teasing me. I kiss him again. "Want me to satisfy you?" He asks through my kisses. I nod. "Do you even know what

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I mean?" I shake my head, making him laugh. "I don't have much time and you need to be quiet. Can you do that?" He kisses me again and I cling to him. "Can you be quiet?" He pushes me back. I nod. I'll do anything if he'll just keep kissing me.

"Quiet!" Victor kisses me and pushes me back into the bed.

I gasp as his kisses travel down my face to my neck. Victor is undressing me. I help him. I want him to touch my skin. I want his hands on me. I need him to touch me. And he does. I whimper as his hands find my breasts. He massages them and I moan as he tugs lightly at my hardened nipples. He's on top of me, undressing himself. My hands move to his chest and I hear him hiss at my touch.

"You make it so damn to hard not take you!" he growls leaning down to kiss and suckle my breasts, one at a time. I moan again. "Shhhhh!" comes the muffled order from my breasts.

His hand moves down. I stiffen as he rubs me in the most private area of my body. My body comes alive as I buck my hips up to meet his body. I want him. Victor moves his kisses down and then he's holding my legs open and kissing me there! I almost scream in panicked pleasure. I bite my lip to keep from screaming because I'm afraid Victor will stop if I don't keep quiet. I pull a pillow over my face and bite down. My body shudders, clenches up and then explodes. I'm kicking and screaming into the pillow.

Whatever Victor is doing to me is driving me crazy. I kick, I buck and I scream. Victor is relentless as he takes me to the edge of reality over and over again. I lay exhausted in my bed as he moves his kisses back up my body. He lays next to me, holding me close. I'm panting like a hard ridden horse. My body is trembling and I fight to clear my mind.

"You like that?" He asks. I nod. "I'll do it again if you want." I nod quickly. "You're a greedy little one." He mumbles kissing my head. "Not now. Another time. I don't think you can take too much more."

"I want more," I beg.

"And you shall have it, my little minx. Not now. Another night. I'll come and satisfy you until you're mine. I can come nightly." He kisses me and I taste the saltiness of myself. I wonder if this is normal. "Do you want me to come again? To make you come again?" I nod greedily.

"I can't take it any farther. I can't make love to you until you are mine." He kisses me again. "but I can give you a taste of what the future has to offer us." I nod. "You can't tell anyone."

I agree readily. How would I tell anyone? I'm in my bed stripped naked and dripping in sweat and other things, with a half-dressed male vampire on top of me. Cruz would kill me! Grandpa and Daddy would kill me. I sigh, and try to slow my racing heart. I want more, but I don't think I could handle it. Not yet anyway. I curl up next to him and close my eyes.

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When I open my eyes, it's morning, I'm tucked in bed and someone is knocking at my bedroom door. I sit up and scramble out of bed. I look around to ensure that I'm not stepping on Victor as I grab my nightshirt and pull it over my head. I open the door and find Cruz standing there with a glass of what looks like blood. I back away from him.

"What is that?" I ask, eyeing the glass.

"Malcolm's blood. Drink it. You'll feel better." He thrusts the glass at me.

I want to tell him that I had already drank Victor's blood, but decide to just keep my mouth shut. Well, sort of. I make a face at the glass. Cruz is glaring at me. I take a deep breath and drink it down. I want to puke! I hand the glass back to him and run for the bathroom. I brush my teeth with vigor. Cruz leans in the doorway. He still looks pissed.

"What?" I ask. He looks at me and then looks at my bed. Could he know? I hold my breath.

"Get dressed and come to my study. We need to talk." He leaves. I brush my tongue.

My stomach clenches and I puke in the sink. This day has to get better. I climb in the shower and wonder if I had dreamed Victor's visit the night before. I think maybe I did, until I find the hickey on my breast and the fact that my lower extremities are aching as if my muscles have been stretched and snapped back. I dress, make my bed, fish all my clothing from between the blankets, and jog down to the study.

"Morning," I say as I walk in.

Richard is standing with Cruz. They're arguing, which is unusual. No one ever seems to argue with Cruz. They both look at me and go silent. Richard steps past me and shuts the door behind him. Almost slamming it. I stand before Cruz, waiting. I know he's going to yell. I ready myself for it.

"What you did was dangerous," he says as he walks around the desk towards me. "You don't know what Victor is capable of. He could have drained you." His voice is calm and that frightens me. "Vampires are very unpredictable and he seems to be very taken with you."

"We just wanted to convince Millie how bad it would be if she kept trying to reach Immortals," I say.

"So you let a vampire bite you, beat you and your niece and scare us all half to death?"

"When you put it that way..," I feel my face begin to burn. "Cruz, please don't be angry. I won't do it again. I promise. I…"

"What about having Victor in your bed?" I freeze. How did he know?

"I could smell him on you!" He hisses. "You dare bring that vampire into my house to fuck?"

"We didn't… not exactly." I know I'm going to lose this argument no matter what. "I just… He just… I'm not…" I'm flustered. "I won't do it again."

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"No, you won't!" Cruz grabs my arm above the elbow and jerks me to him.

"Hey!" I cry out as I find myself staring at the floor.

The first blow makes me scream. I kick and fight as the second blow makes me scream louder. I don't stop screaming as he continues his assault. This hurts! Worse than anything I have ever experienced! I don't think Cruz knows his own strength. I really think he's trying to cripple me! I think he might keep going but my two favorite people rush in.

"Stop it! Doctor, you're killing her!"

Mrs. Potter and Mrs. Ellis both dive in to stop his disciplining of me. They screech and squeal loudly as they fight to get me away from him. I cling to Mrs. Potter as Cruz yells at them both. Mrs. Ellis puts herself between him and Mrs. Potter and me. I hurt so badly that I can barely stand. Mrs. Potter has to carry me from the room. I'm crying so hard that I can't catch my breath. Mrs. Ellis follows quickly, shutting the study door as Cruz continues to yell.

"Poor Lamb!" Mrs. Potter sooths me.

I can't stop crying because it hurts and I'm mad. Cruz hit me! He actually hit me! She tries to set me in a chair and I scream in pain. What did he hit me with? My butt is burning. I feel as if it might actually burst into flames at any moment. Mrs. Ellis is trying to wipe my face with a dishtowel and keep Mrs. Potter from crying. In a matter of seconds, all three of us are crying.

"You're both fired!" Cruz yells as he storms into the room. That makes us cry harder. "I want you out of here now!" He's pointing a menacing finger at us. I bawl more. "Get out!" Cruz grabs my arm and jerks me from the women. I scream and fall to my knees.

"Cruz! Please!" I beg through the tears. "I'm sorry! Don't yell!"

Cruz stands looking at me. I grab onto a chair and try to stand. I can't and I can't sit. I can't sit so I'm on all fours. It hurts too much to do more than cry. I feel as if I'm dying. I lean down and lay my folded arms on the floor and cry. Cruz is cursing under his breath. Mrs. Potter is leaning down to help me up. Mrs. Ellis doesn't move. I think she's ready to fling herself at Cruz if he tries to grab me again.

"Good God! This is more trouble than I ever thought!" he finally yells.

"Then give me back to Peter!" I yell angrily. "At least I know what he wanted from me! Just because you think I'm your child doesn't mean you can try and kill me!"

I know I'm overreacting but I don't care. At least, not until I see the look on his face. He looks so hurt and defeated that I want to take it all back. I'll let him beat me. I'll let him yell at me. I just can't take the pain on his face. The pain I put there with my harsh words.

"Take her to her room!" he snaps. We watch him leave, slamming the door behind him. I fall to pieces against Mrs. Potter's bosom.

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"Come along, Lamb," she whispers as she helps me limp to my room. I fall into my bed and cry. Not just in pain, but in shame. I never should have said those things to Cruz.

"How bad?" Victor asks sitting on my bed.

"Bad," I mumble.

He's come in the night. I'm lying face down on my bed. I can't roll over. Whatever Cruz hit me with broke the skin in several places. Mrs. Ellis slathered me in creams and vitamin E oil so I basically slid into bed. Cruz said he'd blister my tail and he stood by his word. There are long welts down my buttocks and legs. They sting. I try not to cry or breathe too deeply because it hurts.

"Let me see?" Victor pulls back the light sheet and hisses. I watch his face become enraged. "I'll be back."

"Victor?"

I try to sit up and wince. He's gone. I know where he went. I climb slowly from bed and limp down the stairs. The yelling leads me to the study. Human formed Sebastian, Richard, Cruz and Victor are yelling. Well, everyone is yelling at Cruz. He looks way stressed. I see the empty decanter on the desk. He's been drinking. All the yelling is getting annoying. My head hurts.

"Stop yelling!" I yell. How ironic. They all turn to look at me.

"What are you doing out of bed?" Cruz hollers.

I stand in the doorway, holding onto the frame in an oversized nightgown with tears streaming down my face. I want them to stop. I was wrong. I shouldn't have let Victor bite me, I shouldn't have let him hurt Millie, I shouldn't have let Victor do those things to me, I shouldn't have yelled hateful things at Cruz, I shouldn't … I step forward with great effort. The pain shoots through my body.

"I want you to stop yelling." I say.

"I want you to stop letting him in your bed!" Cruz points to Victor.

"I want you to stop beating her!" Victor responds angrily.

"I want…" That's as far as I get before I pass out.

"You won't keep me from her."

That's all I hear as I come out of the darkness. It's Victor's voice. I breathe a little easier. Cruz hasn't killed him. I hope they don't start yelling again. My head is pounding. I find that I'm lying face down on the sofa. A thin blanket is laid over me. I'm shivering. It's cold. Victor's hand caresses my head gently.

"I'll stay away," Victor is saying. "I have all the time to wait. She'll be mine. One day."

"You shouldn't have gone to her bed! She's a child!" Cruz snaps. Oh

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good, he's still alive.

"She won't be forever."

"Victor, she's my child."

"That gives you the right to beat her like an animal?" At least they aren't yelling anymore.

"I didn't mean to ..," Cruz sighs, "I over did it."

"Yes, you did." Victor is holding my hand. "You ever strike her again and I'll kill you!" Victor hisses.

"It won't happen again." I feel a hand on my head. I know its Cruz. I want to pull away but can't.

"I'll take her up." I'm floating. Victor is lifting me into his arms. "I'll be staying the night."

"Victor!"

"Look! I want to be sure she's not in danger."

"From me?" Cruz sounds angry. I wince. They're going to yell again.

"You did this. You forget she's half human and you are more than Immortal. You could have killed her!"

Cruz doesn't say anything else. I open my eyes to see him pouring another drink as I'm carried out of the den. Richard is sitting in a chair in the corner. Sebastian, in human form, is pacing behind the desk. Once again, I've disrupted my family. I hug Victor and he kisses my cheek.

"I'll have you as good as new before you know it," Victor whispers. I smile sleepily. "Not that," he mumbles. "Not for a while, my little minx. Not for a very long while."

I limp down to breakfast. I hurt, but not as bad. My late night snack of vampire blood has healed me, for the most part. My ego is still mortally bruised. I ease into my seat and stare at my breakfast. Cruz is not here. I look around and find Mrs. Potter making up a tray. Mrs. Ellis is busily fixing an omelet. I ease out of my chair and go to the study. It's empty. I limp up the steps to Cruz's bedroom door and knock. There's no answer. I open it and find him flung across the bed. He's sleeping. Sleeping and snoring.

I limp over and lean down to touch his head. He's cold. He's always cold, but now he feels extra cold. I sigh and wish that I had never gone back home. My family has gotten along well without me. I'm dead to them. This family is falling apart. I climb into the bed and lay down next to Cruz. His arm comes around me and he hugs me.

"I thought you didn't sleep?"

"I don't." he grumbles.

"What are you doing?"

"Recuperating. Shyane, I'm sorry." His voice is low. "I didn't mean to hit you so hard. I was angry."

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"I'm sorry. We didn't have sex… well, not all the way," I mumble. "He said it would take away from my mortal life. He said that I would be his one day, just not now."

"Shyane, you are too young."

"But if I'm not a virgin, then Peter won't want me."

"Maybe, maybe not. I don't want you sleeping with someone just to keep him away. That is what I'm here for." I snuggle closer.

"You and the three stooges?"

"Yes. Shyane, I want you to grow up human."

"I'm not human."

"No, you're not," Cruz sighs, "You're very special."

"You're very drunk," I point out.

"Yes, I am. Go eat." He kisses my head and shoves me away.

"Okay." I slowly climb from his bed.

"Shyane?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry." He opens one glowing red bloodshot eye.

"So am I." I watch his other bloodshot red eye open. "I love you," I breathe deeply, "Dad."

"I love you too." He seems to say it a lot easier than I did. I limp from his room to eat my breakfast.

"Where have you been?" Patsy asks as soon as I step into school.

"I was sick," I reply quickly. Too quickly.

"We called and came by and you were gone." She's like a detective on the trail of a clue.

"We went on a trip," I mumble and head for my locker.

"Are you limping?

"I twisted my knee," I lie.

"Simon thinks you're mad at him." She follows me.

"I'm not." I trade out books. "I'm busy."

"So are you going skiing or not?"

"Going," I smile. I'm looking forward to the trip. "Cruz is going as a chaperone."

"So then what's up? Why so sad? What's going on?"

"I had a fight with Cruz. Silly stuff. I… I guess I shouldn't smart off too much."

"I do it all the time. Is it okay if I come over today? Cruz says you're busy every time I call or come by."

"Yeah, I'll be in my studio," I sigh.

I've missed my studio. I've missed dancing. I need to dance. I need to let the stress leave me. I look about. The hallway is packed. I feel as if someone is

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watching me. The feeling is like a bug crawling over my skin. It itches and makes me shudder. Patsy sets her hand on my arm. Her eyes are full of compassion.

"Sebastian didn't come visit last night. What happened?" She knows us too well.

"I told you, I had a fight with Cruz and..," I frown, "he spanked me."

"Ouch!"

"Yeah, I really pissed him off." We walk down the hall. I keep looking over my shoulder.

"What?" Patsy spins around to see what I'm looking at.

"It feels like someone is looking at me," I whisper.

"Of course they are. The Valentine's dance is this Friday and you don't have a date. Yet." She grins at me.

"Simon?" I can't help sounding desperate.

"He's been chomping at the bit like a race horse tethered to the track. We've been trying to see you for days and he's just spazzing out. I think he's in love with you."

"Really?" I'm amazed.

"Really! He's gonna ask you tonight. You better say yes!"

"Why?" I have to laugh.

"Because I'm tagging along."

"Don't you have a date?"

"Unfortunately, dates can't have four paws!" she hisses in my ear, making me giggle.

"He could do the whole human thing."

"Right. He's like, three hundred years old and looks thirty. Me dating a pervert is worse than me dating a dog. My folks would flip!"

"You guys are using protection. Your folks would flip if you dropped a litter."

"Ew!" Patsy laughs nervously. So the thought has crossed her mind. "Besides, can't happen. Something about not in this world but in the next..," she shrugs. "whatever that means."

"What has he told you?" I wonder what pillow talk they share.

"That he is a being from another world." She's looks away.

"And?"

"Nothing about you or anyone else. Not even Cruz. He just says one day I'll understand." She frowns.

"Oh!"

"But you know, don't you?" I note the accusing tone.

"What's there to know? My dog can go human and he's in love with you."

"Yeah, It's kinda nice."

"Weird!" I giggle.

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"Yeah!" She giggles with me.

"What are you two laughing at?" Simon asks stepping up to us.

"Nothing!" Patsy hurries away.

"Well?" Simon asks looking down at me. I shrug. "Where've you been?"

"Sick and out of town." I start for my class. He follows.

"How sick?"

"Huh?"

"Are you too sick to go to the dance?"

"No, I don't think so." I stop outside of my homeroom class. Simon stops too. I wait. He fidgets.

"Um, you think you can go with me?" He's whispering.

"Okay." I shrug. I've been to three school dances with him so far. What's the difference now?

"Not as friends." He quickly looks around.

"As enemies?" I fight to hide my smile.

"No! Um, as…" He frowns at me, knowing that I'm being difficult. "As like my girl."

"Like?"

"Come on Shy!" Simon moans, "Give me a break!" I smile at him. He looks relieved. "What do I got to do? Yell it to everyone?"

"No!" I slam my hand over his mouth, having to stand on tip toe, I lean against him. His arms goes around me and I sigh. "You don't have to do anything."

"You'll go with me?" He asks from behind my hand.

"Yeah." I step back. Simon grabs my hand and holds it.

This seems so normal to me. Normal. I'm leading a normal life. I smile to myself. Simon leans down to kiss me on the lips. I think about what Victor said. For now. One day I'll be Victor's, but for now… Simon pushes me into my classroom and hurries down the hall to his own class. I sigh and walk into my class thinking of the two.

I dance. I'm happy. I have a boyfriend. I'm going to a Valentine's dance with my boyfriend. My boyfriend who is color blind, tone deaf, can't dance and is cute. I spin about as Patsy sits on the floor with Sebastian, watching me. The music pours from the player. Music from Cord. At first I was annoyed that after all this time he sent me music. He and Amber are no more. His new 'flavor of the month,' as Cruz likes to call them, is the new girl in the school. A pretty blonde with big blue eyes and an attitude that puts Amber to shame. Her name is Dede and she's a dancer. Go figure.

The CD has six tracks on it. All compositions of Cord's. All perfect for me to dance to. So now I dance. I spin and jete across the studio. I haven't danced in days and I've missed it. I missed the feeling of being alive. Simon walks into

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the studio and I dance to him. I stand on pointe and kiss his chin. That's as high as I am to him. He lifts me into his arms and kisses me on my lips.

"I could get into this ballet stuff if all I had to do is lift you up and kiss you." His smile is warm. "You don't weigh nothing."

"I weigh enough," I giggle.

He and Cruz always comment on my weight. I eat like a horse and with Mrs. Ellis cooking, I've actually gained weight. I've also gotten taller, and to my delight, rounder. I have hips, I have a waist and I even have boobs. Simon sets me down.

"We'll be back." Patsy calls as she and Sebastian leave.

"I guess they're off to do it doggie style," Simon laughs. I look at him in shock. "What? You didn't think I knew? We're twins. We tell each other everything."

"But..," I'm stumped. Patsy told Simon she was having a sexual relationship with Sebastian? And Simon believed her? "You know and you believe?"

"I've seen some crazy shit over the years in this place. Dr. Cruz has some pretty colorful guests. We figured he was a wizard or something," Simon shrugs. I frown. "He's an Immortal ain't he?" My frown deepens. "You won't tell me, will ya?" I shake my head.

We stand in the middle of the room looking at each other and waiting. What do we say? What do we do? I know he has questions and I have the answers, only I can't tell him. Before, I would have thought he wouldn't believe me. Now, I know he will. I just know that I can't tell him. It's safer this way. For him and for me. I fix my eyes on his and wait.

"What are you?" he asks softly before he kisses me.

What I feel for Simon is different than what I've felt with anyone else. Cord was curiosity. Malcolm was a desire that was confusing. Victor was a desire that was life altering. Something that was to come later in my life. Right now, right here was Simon. Simon was the one person who I knew was not drawn to me for any other reason than the fact that he liked me. It had nothing to do with me being a muse. It was just me. Simon holds me in his arms.

"I love you," Simon whispers, "I can't stop thinking of you."

"Since when?" I ask innocently.

"Since before I met you." He sets me down. "I don't know what you are or how it is that you came to be here, but I think that I've been waiting for you. I feel complete with you. Like you are the part of my life that's been missing."

"You do know we're just fourteen?" I tease.

"Fourteen or forty, I'm here for you. Whatever it is. Whenever you're ready to tell me." No pressure? The worst type of pressure.

"Simon…"

"Whenever." He leans down to kiss me again. "Whatever."

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"I don't think I can ever tell you because I'm not sure." I move to sit down on the floor. Simon sits with me. His hand holds mine. "Would you believe me if I told you that I might be magical?" Simons smiles a bright metal smile at me.

"I already know that!" he laughs.

"I mean more than the average horny teen."

"Are you horny?"

I feel my face burning. Why did I say that?

"Because I sure am!" His smile widens at my surprised look. "It's kind of normal, ya know?"

Normal. That word again. I like the way it sounds. I lean forward and kiss him. Simon pulls me into his arms and slides me into his lap. My heart speeds up. His hand is on my waist. The other moves to caress my face. I close my eyes to his touch. Simon kisses me and I wrap my arms around his neck. Before I know it, we're lying on the floor kissing and touching. His hands are under my shirt and I'm arching my back to him, wanting more. Simon pulls back from my kisses and pants.

"Not here," he says, "too many people can see."

I look up at all the windows. Richard is probably watching us now. The thought is rather disturbing. I instantly pull my shirt down to cover my breasts. I sit up and reposition my bra. How had he done this so quickly? She hadn't even noticed he was undressing her.

"Where?" I ask.

"Not here, not now." He smiles at me.

"When?" I want to tell him that I have birth control. I'm not taking it, but I have it! It's on the tip of my tongue but I think this will make me sound desperate, so I bite my tongue.

"Shy…" he looks around to make sure we're alone, "have you?" I shake my head. "hmmm." Now he's got my attention.

"You thought I had," I accuse.

"Well..," now he looks embarrassed, "Cord didn't exactly say you did but he didn't deny it either and…"

"I had better not be some contest between the two of you." I move away from him.

"Just the opposite!" Simon holds my fists to keep me from hitting him.

"What does that mean?" Now he pins me down on the floor beneath him. I stop fighting. I know he won't hurt me.

"I didn't want to tell you I liked you until you and he were done."

"We never began," I frown at him.

"I know that now, but..," he kisses me again, "I had to be sure."

"Why?"

"Because when I like someone I want to be the only one in their lives. I don't like being second to anyone. Especially Cord. And I sure as hell don't like

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being the rebound guy."

"Rebound guy?"

"Yeah, I've been that before and I don't like it much." He kisses my fisted hand. "I've been waiting for you to decide you liked me. I hope you do." The uncertainty in his voice hurts. How else can I let him know that I like him? I practically let him undress me and he just felt me up. I shift myself beneath him. "Do you?"

"I do." My answer is a whisper. "I really do like you." I lick my lips. "More than like."

"Good." Simon kisses me again and I relax my clenched fist. He releases my wrist. I reach up to hold him. My hands find his face and I touch his smile. "Do you think you could ever love me?"

The question takes me off guard. I just became his girl today and now he wants to know if I could love him? I gaze up at him, wondering how to answer. How do I tell him that I'm already in love with him? That I've been wanting to tell him for a long time? I just wasn't sure how to tell him or if I should. Now I can't. It's too soon. At least, I think so.

"You don't have to answer now," Simon says quickly. He must have seen the confusion on my face. "Not ever, if you don't want."

"I want," I say, "I want a lot." I arch my body up against his. "All of it."

"Not now," he smiles, "not yet."

"Why not?" I whine. Why is he being so decent?

"Because I don't want to stop kissing you and if your Dad comes in, he'll kill me."

His eyes are soft and longing. He wants me. He wants me the way Victor does, and like Victor, he's willing to wait. I'm the one who wants it now. I just don't want to wait anymore. I want to stop being wanted by Peter. I want to no longer be of value as the virgin muse. I wonder what a slut muse is worth? I almost giggle. What would Peter think if I dressed like Millie in dark Goth clothing and black makeup? A little low cut top, tight jeans, combat boots and my nose pierced would send him over the edge. He tried so hard to keep me pure and virtuous while in captivity.

"What are you thinking about with that smile on your face?" Simon asks. I hadn't realized I was smiling.

"Am I smiling?"

"You are. A perfectly evil smile. It looks cute on you."

"Does it?" I like flirting with Simon.

"It does." He kisses me again. I like kissing him too. Someone clears their throat and we jump apart.

"Hello?" I look up to see Richard in the doorway.

"Hello." I can't think of anything else to say and Simon is bright red.

"It's time for dinner." He turns and walks away.

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"Dinner time," Simon sighs. "Time for me to go." He stands up and holds his hand out to me. I take it and let him pull me to my feet. I lean into his arms. I don't want him to go. I don't want him to leave me.

"Don't go," I mumble into his chest.

"I'll be back," he kisses my head. "I can't stand being away from you."

"Why?"

"Because I have a longing in my heart for you. A longing that I can't ignore," he whispers into my hair. "Not just to make love to you, but a longing for you to love me. To love me for just being me." I know the feeling.

We walk to the house together. He kisses me and walks on down the path to his home. I watch him go. When I walk in the house for dinner, I find myself eating alone. Mrs. Potter informs me that Cruz is dining with Dr. Brooks and will be late. I wash up and decide that eating alone is not for me. I run out to the little house behind my studio and invite the newlyweds, Maurice and Marsha, Richard and Mrs. Potter and Mrs. Ellis to join me. I have a longing. A longing for a nice family dinner. And these people are as close to family as I have.

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The

Competition

"I'm not sure I approve." Cruz is looking over my dress with a very critical eye. The dress I bought without his approval. I feel as if I'm being inspected by the fashion police.

"You bought it," I accuse.

"Only under duress." He walks around me and looks me up and down. "You're going to kill yourself in those shoes."

"I dance on pointe!" I reply. He still frowns. "Would you prefer Mary Jane's and a pinafore?" I hiss.

"Yes! This is…" He motions with his hand up and down as if to include my entire ensemble. "Too much! Or not enough!"

"Well, make up your mind, Pop!"

I take him off guard when I call him Pop. Daddy is for Charles. Pop is for Cruz on the rare occasions when I need an edge in an argument. Usually he smiles slightly when I call him Pop. This time he frowns. I might not win this fight. He doesn't smile. Not even a little. The worry wrinkle between his eyes puckers up. He's really eyeing my dress, my cleavage, the stilettos, my hair and my dazzling makeup. He doesn't like any of it on me. The ringing doorbell saves me.

"We aren't done here," he warns, leaving me in the study to answer the door. I hope it's Simon so we can make a speedy exit. It's not.

"Don't you look all grown up?" Dr. Brooks remarks as she steps into the room, dressed for a night out. It makes me nervous as she walks around me. It makes me feel as if I'm in competition with her for Pop's attention. "Such a lovely little dress for a lovely little girl." Her comments are in a pleasant voice, but there is nothing pleasant about the implications. The doorbell rings again and Cruz hurries to answer it. "I'm certainly glad I put you on birth control." Dr. Brooks says this quietly.

I glare right into her eyes. My secret is that I never started taking the pills. I never had a period and felt it was overkill. I figured if I didn't have a menstrual cycle, I couldn't get pregnant, so why take medicine to stop my menstrual cycle? After doing a little research on the web, I had decided to question all of Dr. Brooks decisions about my care. She had alternative motives.

I now stand glaring into her big blue eyes that have little wrinkles around them. Dr. Brooks is not a young woman. I don't know how long she's known Cruz or how long she's been in love with him, but I know one thing for sure; she will continue to get old and Cruz will not age. Ever. This must bother her. I wonder how it will effect Simon? There's a kind of desperation in her eyes. It's been there since she first examined me. It's grown each time I've seen her. Now it's eating away at her. She never was going to marry Cruz. Now she knows it, but she blames it on me.

"What you've put him through," Dr. Brooks shakes her head as she whispers to me, "is not good. You were a mistake. Your mother should have

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never told him. He never would have brought you here. You never would have ruined his life." She looks to the doorway where Cruz is talking to Simon. "He could have been so happy. We both could have. If only…"

"Really?" I fight not to sound bitter. "If only he loved you." She looks as if I've slapped her. "All these years and you never got farther than the first floor." My words are true. I had heard Mrs. Potter and Mrs. Ellis discussing how Dr. Brooks had tried many times to slink her way into Cruz's bed. He may have slept with her, but his intentions went no farther than that.

"You little…!" she sputters.

"Excuse me, my date is here." I step around her and hurry to keep Cruz from threatening Simon. "We ready?" I ask innocently.

"Always." Simon holds my jacket so that I can quickly put it on.

"Pop done threatening you?"

"Dr. Cruz wasn't threatening me." Simon avoids looking at me. "He was setting boundaries."

"Boundaries?" I look at Cruz.

"You are only fourteen." Cruz seems happy with the little discussion he has had with my date.

"Almost fifteen," I clarify as I turn and notice the flowers that Mrs. Potter is carrying to me for my inspection. Roses! Pink roses! "Roses!"

"Simon brought them for you." Mrs. Potter smiles approvingly at my date.

"Happy Valentines!" Simon grins at me. I see Cruz rolling his eyes.

"We better go. I'm sure Richard is waiting." I'm ready to go.

"Pats is talking to him and petting your dog." I turn to look at Simon and his strange way of assessing Patsy and Sebastian and find that Dr. Brooks has joined us.

"Oh! Pop, you and the Doc have a nice dinner!" I move to stand on tiptoe to kiss Cruz's cheek, seeing Dr. Brooks glower. "I'll be home early and thanks for the gift." I touch my ears to show off the dangling diamonds. Dr. Brooks looks like she wants to snatch them off my ears.

"You look stunning." Cruz hugs me.

"Thanks, Pop."

"You two kids have fun." Dr. Brooks laughs as she grasps Cruz's arm in an iron clench. I take Simon's arm. My father looks uncomfortable. He looks at Dr. Brooks and his smile fades slightly.

"I want to hear all about it. I'll be home early, waiting." Cruz says and I smile at him. Dr. Brooks looks more than a little angry. Another date bombed.

"Cruz should neuter you!" I say to Sebastian as we open the back of the sedan and find Patsy with her nice gown hiked up over her hips and a human Sebastian kissing her neck with his hands on her breasts.

"Don't be cruel," Patsy giggles.

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"You two are terrible," Simon groans as his sister pulls away from Sebastian.

"Shut the door please," Patsy begs. I shut it and shiver. It's cold.

"The things I put up with for her!" Simon grumbles as he hugs me to him. Richard is coming towards us. Even he gives Sebastian and Patsy their space. They aren't shy about showing or acting on their feelings around the house. All around the house. Simon smells wonderful.

"Sorry you have to hug me," I giggle into his chest.

"She can take her time," he whispers, kissing my head. Just then the car door opens and Sebastian leaps out. Patsy is sitting on the seat looking presentable. "Do we have to wipe the seat down?" I ask, not teasing.

"No!" she sounds offended, "We didn't have time."

"Ew!" I climb in and settle in the seat between Patsy and Simon.

"Sorry about being the third wheel." Patsy sighs.

"No problem," I say, but Simon only grunts. For the first time I realize that he wants to be alone with me. I smile at the thought. Me and Simon alone. That could be dangerous.

We enter the dance chilled and excited. At least, I am. I love dancing. Simon looks less than thrilled as he takes my coat and Patsy's. I grab Patsy's hand and we speed for the dance floor. Truth be told, I attend all dances as Simon's date, but he rarely dances with me. He hates dancing. Plus, he really can't. Slow dances are reserved for him and he basically stands there and holds me. I like it.

"You and Sebastian are a mess," I say to Patsy.

"I know. I think I'm in heat!" She throws her head back laughing.

"Ew!" I groan.

"You only say that because you haven't yet. Just wait!"

I brood on the thought. I haven't. I want to, but I want to for the wrong reason. Plus the fact that I'm never alone with him. We've had a constant flux of people surrounding me. I have Cord calling me, Victor coming at night to talk with me and I run into Malcolm on the grounds. I rarely see Kai or Stewart, but I knew they are around. Richard and even Charles are always outside my studio. Especially when Simon is around.

Victor's visits have become cordial, non-sexual and entertaining. We talk, laugh, joke and kiss. He keeps me company while Sebastian travels to the next estate to visit Patsy. Victor enlightens me to many aspects of the world I was living in and the world I have escaped from. Or rather, been rescued from. I only think of Peter during my time with Victor. It's easy to forget that part of my life, or push it back from the forefront of my mind, when my day is full of events. At night, it all came back to haunt me. Talking with Victor is my therapy. We also talk about Cruz. Mostly, we joke about how he's ducking Dr. Brooks. It's always good for a laugh.

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We talk about my life in the long term. He explains to me what it's like to live longer than the humans. What it's like to love a human, knowing that their time is limited and mine isn't. That thought bothers me. My own children will die of old age before I become middle aged. That is, if I decide to have children. According to Victor, bearing children is my decision. A decision my body will make when my mind does. Or my heart. When I'm ready. I'm nowhere near ready. For anything.

"Do you think Simon would like to?" I ask, leaning in to yell in her ear.

"Yeah!" Patsy laughs at me. I roll my eyes and look at my date who is watching us from the safety of the table he reserved for us. He catches my gaze and smiles at me. I smile back.

"When did you know you were ready?"

"When I stripped off my clothes and spread my legs for Sebastian." I hate when Patsy is so brutally honest. "He just became human and said he was in love with me. I decided that I was in love with a dog and wanted to seal that deal." The music becomes slow. "Go dance with loverboy." She bounces off towards the beverage table. I turn to find Simon right behind me.

"My dance?" He asks, taking me in his arms.

"Yes." I lean against him as he sways clumsily.

We spend the evening dancing, talking and joking. The three of us have become an isolated group. No one would believe or understand Patsy's love of Sebastian, and since she talks of nothing else, we've become a tight group. The three stooges have joined in on our sessions when we sit around in the studio laughing. Even Richard has lightened up. Victor is still my secret. Only Sebastian knows. We keep his secret and he keeps ours.

"Do you think you will ever tell me what you are?" Simon asks softly.

"What?" I step back and gaze up at him.

"You heard me."

"I'm your girlfriend. At least, I think so. Or thought so."

"You are. Are you human?

"Why are you asking now?"

"Well, I was talking to a friend of yours tonight."

"Who?"

"Victor."

I freeze. Victor talked to Simon? Why?

"About?"

"He just told me that I should think carefully about taking from you something that you might not be ready to give me. He seemed to think that you might want to sleep with me for reasons other than our mutual attraction for each other." I hate when Simon talks as if I were a small child. Now he's looking at me with one eyebrow raised.

"Where did you talk to him?"

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"On your doorstep. He was waiting with Sebastian when I got there tonight. He's a vampire, isn't he?"

"Yeah," I frown and look around. "Can we talk somewhere else?" I step back from him.

"Courtyard." He takes my hand and leads me out of the dance.

The courtyard is small, simple and cold. It's just brick and benches and dead flowers. This winter has been cold. My breath hangs on the air. I hug myself. Simon slips his jacket over my shoulders. He pulls me close and I lean back in his arms. Do I love Simon, or am I using him for normalcy? Should I tell him my story? Do I trust him enough? Do I care about him enough to keep him in the dark and safe?

"Talk," he orders. Simon is very straightforward. I sit on the stone bench and shiver.

"I'm not sure you'd understand." I hug myself.

"Shy," he sits next to me and tucks a stray curl behind my ear. "My sister is having a love affair with a man who is actually a dog."

I smile at him. Yes, he is open to believing. I take a deep breath and begin from the beginning with Grandpa and the favor. I tell him everything. Peter, Malcolm, Kai, Stewart and Cruz. I tell him everything. Including the fact that I want to sleep with him and I'm not sure why. Or if the reason I want to sleep with him is understandable. I sit waiting for his reaction.

"So you want to sleep with me?"

Only a man would get that out of my confession. I frown at him. He smiles, embarrassed. I don't think he meant to say that out loud. I stand and walk away from him. I need just a little time to figure out if I should be frightened, angry or amused. My perfect night has just become complicated. I feel him behind me. He hugs me back to him and turns me. I look up and he kisses me. I lean into him.

"I think we should wait," he says. "Until you're sure of what you want. Maybe when we're a little older. This is one thing I can let Patsy beat me at."

"Excuse me?"

"Having a love affair with someone who isn't human." He kisses me again, sighing heavily. "Let's dance."

"You hate dancing!" I accuse.

"Yes, but it take my attention off what I want to do." He takes my hand and I follow him back inside.

We dance, slowly, even to the fast songs. I know that I like Simon much more than I should. It's not like. It's love. I'm just not sure how deep our love is. Or if he feels the same way. We dance and keep our conversations to a minimum. The dance ends and we ride home. Richard pulls up at my home. Simon gets out and walks me to the door. We stand looking at each other. There's a lot we have to think about and act on. In the moonlight and the dim

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light of the front porch, we stare at each other. He sighs deeply and kisses me very tenderly.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Are you angry?" I ask.

"No, not really," he sighs, "I just think you need time to decide."

"Decide what?"

"If you want me or someone who'll live forever." I follow his gaze and see Victor talking to Malcolm by the garden. "He loves you and he can love you forever." Wow, how long was that conversation between the two of them? "I can only give you a few years. Either way, you'll be his one day. I gotta think on that."

I watch him climb back in the car and Richard drives my friends home. I ignore Victor and stomp into the house. Cruz is sitting on the steps, waiting. I look at him and burst into tears. He stands and I run to crumble into his arms. He sits on the steps, holding me in his lap as I cry my heart out.

"You knew?" I ask.

"Richard told me that Victor had words with Simon, so I had words with Victor." Cruz hands me a box of tissue that I utilize. "He said he simply wanted the boy to know the facts."

"Facts?" I blow my nose loudly.

"Well, Simon has never been one to give up. He told Victor that he might not be Immortal, but that he would love you until the day he died and if he died early at the hands of Victor that he would haunt you both." I smile at that thought and blow my nose again.

"Pop, how did this become a competition?"

"All young men compete for the affections of young women. Historically, wars were started in situations like this."

"I don't want a war, Pop." I blow my nose again.

"Pop? Why do you insist on call me that?" His smile is warm and contagious.

"Daddy is taken." I try not to look guilty.

"Yes. I see."

"Hate it?" I ask.

"Very much." He's still smiling.

"I'll go back to calling you Cruz," I laugh at him.

"No, I'll get used to it." He caresses my cheek. "I may learn to like it."

"Would you prefer 'father'?"

"No," he sighs. "So you haven't?"

"No, Pop." I sigh heavily. "With anyone."

"Good!" He doesn't bother trying to hide his joy.

"Not yet," I add to dampen his mood. "But I will, one day."

"Just not anytime soon." He kisses my cheek.

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"Speaking of sex, how was your date with Dr. Brooks?" I know that I'm treading on thin ice.

"Not funny," he grumbles. "Dinner with friends was not what she wanted."

"So why'd she invite them along?" I know but like egging him on.

"I invited a colleague and her husband," he admits guiltily. "They were in town for a conference and I told them I wasn't dating, so dinner wouldn't be a problem. She was not happy. I don't think I'll be seeing her again."

"Great!" I'm truly overjoyed.

"You do know that this means I'll be dating again and I don't want you sabotaging my life."

I know he's joking. Well, I hope he's joking.

"You go on up to bed. I'm sure Victor is sharpening his fangs to talk to you."

"You know?"

"That he visits your room?" His eyes darken, "it better not be your bed."

"It's not."

"Keep it that way," he warns. "And don't worry about Simon. In three weeks, we'll be on the slopes and he'll come around."

"You think?" I sniffle.

"Well, I do plan on getting you a knock out ski outfit. He'll come around." Cruz helps me stand and I climb the stairs around him.

I kick off my shoes and sit down on my bed. The room is dark but I know I'm not alone. Victor steps out of the darkness, keeping a safe distance from me. For a wild vampire he looks docile. More than just docile, he looks afraid of me. I'm angry with him. Not as angry as he thinks. He wasn't far off base. I wasn't totally honest with Simon and that makes it hard to be in a relationship where there are so many lies and secrets.

"He told you?" Victor's voice is reserved.

"Yes," I slip off my coat and fall back on the bed. "He likes things out in the open. He's not one for secrets. That's something I like about him."

"You seem to like a lot about him." Victor steps closer.

"Did you think you'd tell him and he'd simply walk away from me? His sister is banging my dog! He's not beyond accepting."

"Banging? When did you become so crude?"

"I listen to my peers," I say.

"I see." He sits down on the bed next to me. I don't move. "I just thought I should state my case."

"Your case? You told him he would die and you and I would be together," I snap.

"It's the truth."

"It's not fair." I stare up at the ceiling.

"No, I don't play fair." He leans over to kiss me and I turn my face away. I

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hear him sigh. "Party's over?"

"Most definitely. I have choices to make and I can't make them clearly if I have you both tugging at me. I'm not a rope. Then there's Cord."

"The golden child!" Victor sits back almost spitting the words. "I never could stand him. What a brat!"

"Just like you." I sit up. "I need to change for bed. Go."

"Can't I watch?" he asks.

"No. You always ask and I always say no. Why do you keep asking?"

"I'm hoping that one day the answer will be yes." He grabs me and kisses me roughly. I let him. I can at least give him this. When I don't respond, he releases me and frowns. "Can we talk?"

"Not tonight. I want to sleep." I move away from him.

"I could hold you and keep you safe," he offers.

"That won't be necessary." I jump and find Simon standing in the doorway, looking out of breath. He changed his clothes into jeans and a sweatshirt. "I'm here."

Victor looks at me, at Simon and frowns. He seems angry. I grab his arm. He looks at me and his anger seems to dissipate. He moves to the open window and simply leaps out. I stand looking at Simon. What to say or do? Not have sex is the number one thing on my mind. Simon shuts my bedroom door and stands looking at me. I move to the closet for my nightclothes.

"Cruz will kill you," I warn.

"I know. That's why I snuck in." He's whispering now. "Go to the bathroom and change." I nod at the order and go to the bathroom, shutting the door behind me, leaning on it.

What am I going to do? Cruz will kill us both. Simon just left saying no. I just told Victor no. For all the rejections flying around tonight, I'm afraid I might actually get lucky. I look down at my frumpy night shirt. I should have grabbed something more alluring. Except I have nothing alluring, sexy or revealing. Simon is in my bed. He's dressed. He lifts the blankets and motions for me to join him. I do and snuggle close to his chest. I yawn. I hadn't realized how tired I was. He hugs me to him, kisses my head and sighs. I'm not sure what he's planning, but I soon understand. Sleep. He's snoring in my ear. I listen to him snore and then jump when Sebastian returns from his nightly romp and jumps in the bed. He wiggles his way between us. I hug him and feel a wave of comfort come over me. I close my eyes and sleep.

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The

Dare

"Tell me again?" I ask as I stand, shakily on the snowboard.

"If you think you're going to fall over, just sit!" Patsy says in her usual annoyed way.

We are on the school ski trip. As usual, it's me, Patsy and Simon. Cruz has found that my Chemistry teacher, Ms. Allen, is single, young, lovely and had once thought of being an archeologist. He's occupied on the ski slopes with her. I like Ms. Allen, so I'm happy he's occupied. Plus the fact that leaves us on our own. Well, aside from Sebastian, who is now human and our bodyguard. Richard is also around. I am never alone. I have a suspicion that the three stooges are in the woods toking up. It's a five day trip and on day one I ate snow. It wasn't fun. Funny, yes, but not fun. I thought I heard snickering from the brush.

"Just stick close to me." Simon kisses my cheek.

I smile and decide that sitting doesn't seem so hard. I sit all the time. It kind of comes naturally. Just like kissing Simon. And only kissing. Simon puts a stop to anything that goes past kissing. I'm up for more but he seems to be punishing me for kissing Victor and for catching him in my bedroom. I think I would have suffered less if Cruz had caught us. It's nice that Simon has laid claim to me, but annoying that he's calling all the shots in our relationship. I have little say so or opinion. At first, it didn't bother me. Now, I want more. More input and more options.

The ski trip is an annual school event. I've never skied before or snowboarded. I'm willing to try anything, but this is kind of too much. The board is bigger than me. And it's heavy. Patsy lugs hers around as if it were her purse. I think Sebastian would twirl his if he wasn't afraid of whacking someone in the head. I drag mine after me in my clunky boots.

Cruz did as he promised and my ski outfits are spectacular. They are cut for my new curvy figure. I have curves! Boobs, hips and a waist! The tops are bright, the bottoms tight and the boots annoying. At least my goggles and hat match my gloves. Everything is designer and top of the line. The best thing about my outfits is that I have Simon on my arm. Once again, we've isolated ourselves from the rest of our class. Especially with Sebastian in tow.

"Try not to kill yourself," Sebastian orders as he sets his board down. "Nardo would be very angry with me if you died."

"Good to know." I lean forward slightly and my board glides, taking me with it. I bend my knees, balance on my toes, as instructed, and reach up to slide my goggles down.

"Hold up!" Simon orders as he gets on his board.

"I can't!" I lean down and hold my arms out to balance myself. It's either sit or go. I choose go. "Catch up to me!" I sing as I move forward.

"Shy!" Simon yells and I'm gone.

"Lean," I tell myself. So I lean to the left, lean to the right, lean to the left,

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and sit down. With a bang. "Ow!" I yelp as I wipe the crusty ice off my gloves.

Snow is supposed to be soft and fluffy. This stuff is packed and painful. I rub my sore palm on my thigh and try to stand. I fall back on my butt and curse myself for my clumsiness. I'm usually graceful. Now I feel like my feet are in cement. With effort I work myself forward and fall into the snow on my knees. I push off and get to my feet. Simon is right behind me. I lean and off I go again. This time I'm able to stay upright all the way down. I sit down at the bottom with a thump. Simon skids to a halt right next to me.

"You made it!" Simon says brightly.

"I only fell once!"

"We'll take the lift up to a real slope."

"That wasn't real?" I look back up and see that I traveled quite a ways.

"That was the bunny slope." Simon helps me out of my bindings and pulls me to my feet. "Now we go for the real slopes."

"Real slopes," I repeat.

"That was great!" Patsy calls as she and Sebastian glide to us. "Now we can go on the real slopes."

"So I heard." I'm not thrilled.

"Come on." Simon hands me my board and leads the way to the lifts. I follow, dragging my board. I feel worn out already. "Here!" Simon grabs my board from me and I follow, a little happier.

"Look at that!" Steve is waving to us. Patsy waves back.

"Where's his babe?" I ask bitterly.

Cindy has been a butt on the entire trip. She made fun of Pasty's year old ski ensemble. I told her to shut up and she tried to start in on my outfit but just stomped away. I offered to trade clothes with Patsy, even though she's taller than me, but she shrugged it off. I don't think she even heard half of what Cindy said, she was so into having Sebastian sitting next to her on the bus that she blew it off. It was all unimportant to her. She had her man/dog by her side.

"She just wishes she knew what I'm up to," Patsy whispered to me. I giggled. Now Cindy's nowhere to be seen. Steve is ahead of us on the lift with some guys. I hop onto the chair with Patsy. Simon takes the hint and rides behind us with Sebastian.

"I don't see Cindy," I say.

"She doesn't ski," Patsy says. "She stays at the resort by the fire, drinking hot chocolate, holding court and passing judgment on people. She's the fashion police," Patsy shrugs.

"I guess Karen is with her?" I ask meekly.

"Oh, most certainly," Patsy laughs. "You gave her a shock."

The night before, we all gathered in the main area of the resort to take a headcount and go to dinner. I was late getting to the gathering because I was waiting on Cruz, who was waiting on Ms. Allen. Karen had taken the

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opportunity to walk over to Simon, who was sitting with Sebastian on a sofa, and plop down in his lap. It was perfectly timed. I walked into the area just in time. She looked right at me and then leaned in to kiss Simon right on the lips. I heard nothing and saw nothing, except her lips on my boyfriend. I crossed the area quickly, grabbed a handful of her hair and dragged her off his lap. She landed on her ass in the middle of the floor.

"Whoa!" Sebastian was up and had me in his arms before anyone could move. Mainly me. I was planning on ripping all of her hair out. As it was, I only got a handful of her hair extensions, which I tossed over my shoulder as I dove at her. "Walk time!" Sebastian sang as he carried me over to Cruz.

"She pulled my hair!" Karen cried out.

"She ripped it out!" Cindy declared, picking up the extensions.

"You girls need to stop this!" Ms. Allen ordered. "Why were you climbing on Simon?"

"It was just a dare!" Karen sobbed, taking her hair from Cindy. "He didn't seem to care."

"I did," Simon snapped. "I was just too shocked to move. And grossed out!" Everyone laughed.

I broke free of Sebastian and headed back to my room. I felt betrayed, humiliated and hurt. I slammed the door on my room. Opened it and slammed it again and again. I did this five or six times until a hand stopped it. Simon was standing there looking at me as if I'd lost my mind. To be honest, for a moment I thought I had. I stepped back as he came into my room and shut the door behind him, locking it.

"I didn't..," he stopped explaining and stepped close to me. "You just don't know what you do to me."

He kissed me then. He let me go, picked up the phone, ordered room service and we ate in the room, watching a stupid movie and kissing. The dare had pissed me off, but also given me reason to get away from the group. Simon and I had a nice time alone. I thought perhaps we would go further than kissing, but no, Simon would not let that happen. He settled down next to me and held me close as he kissed me. I was on fire and he was calm and collected. I hated him.

We had decided to switch rooms. Cruz had it set that our rooms were across the hall from each other, me and Patsy in one and Sebastian and Simon in another. We were forbidden to even think of switching rooms, so as soon as Cruz headed down the hall to Ms. Allen's room, we swapped. I climbed into bed with Simon and slept soundly with him snoring in my ear. By the looks of Patsy at breakfast, I knew she had gotten little if any sleep. Sebastian was happier than usual and bursting with energy. I wanted to hit him with a rolled up newspaper. Now his energy was waning.

"I need a nap," Patsy declares, yawning widely.

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"You need a break from him. Why don't you sleep in our room with me tonight?"

"You aren't my type," She grins.

"Just like old times. A sleepover. Me, you and giggles, and gossip and…"

"Okay. If there's popcorn and hot chocolate. Oh! And Pizza."

"Okay. Food. I can do that."

"You just want to skip dinner with all the preppies and idiots." She's not far off.

I want as far away from Cindy, Karen and the rest of the popular kids. And I could use some time away from Simon too. Sleeping in his arms and getting only kisses is too much for me. I want more. I need more from him and he's not willing to let it happen. I figure if I can make him suffer a bit, it might be easier to convince him. According to everyone, it seems as if my boyfriend is the only one that needs convincing. Everyone in my class is getting laid. I hear them talk about it daily and wonder when I get to know what it feels like.

"What she did was stupid," Patsy says. "Starting all this trouble on a dare. People are stupid!"

"I agree."

"So I'm going to be stupid," Patsy grins at me.

"What?"  
"I dare you to sleep with Simon."

"What?" Now I'm more than a little surprised.

"I'm daring you to have sex with my brother. You can't back out. It's a double dare!"

"No," I shake my head. "He's super opposed to sleeping with me." We're almost to the top of the slope now. I'm glad. I don't want to have this conversation.

"Too late. I double dared. You have to. And before we return home, so you got three nights to get it on." She jumps from the lift chair onto the fresh snow. I follow.

"Patsy!" I hiss.

"Oh, not tonight. Tomorrow. Tonight is me and you." She wraps her arm around me and leads me to the slope. I frown, but go along with her.

"What is it?" Simon asks as we meet up at the top of the slope.

"Nothing." I reply almost absent mindedly.

I take my snowboard from him and set my bindings. I adjust my goggles, put on my gloves and before anyone can say anything, I shove off. All the way down, I ponder what Patsy has put before me. I've thought it over many times before this. I want to be deflowered and I think now it's because I love Simon. I know he doesn't believe this and this is what keeps us from going farther than kissing. Being dared is more than likely what I need.

I bought something sexy to wear when we do it. I had to do this secretly

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or Cruz would have come unglued. It's red and lacy and sexy. I'm not sure why I packed it, but as I pass people on the slope, I find that I'm smiling as I think of wearing it for Simon. I don't think he'll ignore it.

"Watch out!"

Someone yells and I wake from my daydream just in time to slam into one of those tall pylons used to restrict people from unsafe areas. They're tall, hard plastic wrapped in rubber stuff that is not soft when frozen. I groan softly as I'm thrown back to the ground. I'm lying there staring up at the sky, which is all I can do since all the air has left my body. I'm in pain, trying to take in a breath when Victor sits me up and brushes the snow from my face.

"Good shot!" he laughs.

I guess no one else thinks it's odd that a young, handsome man in a suit simply stepped from the woods and is helping me up. I still can't breathe as he pulls me to my feet and kicks my bindings loose. The board slips away and I stand in the snow taking in little breaths. Little, slow breaths that rip through my body. I hold onto Victor to keep from falling over.

"You okay?" he asks in my ear. I nod, although I'm not too sure. "You don't look okay. You're whiter than me!" He laughs and I shake my head to tell him not to make me laugh. It hurts.

"Shyane!" Simon is coming.

"Boy toy and puppy dog are here." Victor kisses my head and is gone. I almost fall over. Simon catches me and I finally take in a breath. It burns.

"I think she's done for the day." Sebastian says in a very serious adult way. I'm agreeing with him by nodding. "Take her back to her room. Get her checked over and let Nardo know she took a fall."

"We got your boards." Patsy is there. I lean on Simon. We walk the rest of the way down. I want to crawl into bed and sleep. My head hurts, as does my chest.

"How hard did you hit?" Simon asks as he lifts my goggles up and looks into my eyes.

"Not too bad. I didn't pass out." I stumble a bit.

"Right!"

He laughs and we walk along the path to the hotel. We pass a bunch of kids we know, but we're not popular, so we're invisible to them. Simon leads me to my room. I hand him the key card and he opens the door. I step in and turn to meet him. He shuts the door and I lunge at him. My lips find his and I hold on to him. He pushes me from him.

"Enough," he orders.

"No! Why do you get to make all the calls on this relationship?" I demand, unzipping my ski jacket.

"Because someone has to be sensible." He leans back against the door. "You're just horny."

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"Really?"

I slide my jacket off, kick off my boots, then climb out of my pants. I'm in my long johns and socks. Not super sexy, but it'll have to do. I move to the other side of the room and undress. Simon doesn't take his eyes off me, but I get no reaction. I strip down to nothing and climb into my bed. Simon is still by the door. He hasn't said a thing or moved. I frown at him.

"Just go," I sigh. "I'm tired. See you later." I fall back in the bed and relax, waiting to hear the door open as he leaves. It doesn't. I roll on my side and snuggle deeper in the bedding. Now that I'm warm, my body is beginning to ache. I feel him climb into the bed with me. He's on top of the covers.

"Why do you do this to me?" His voice is soft.

"I don't know. Your sister dared me to have sex with you." I roll on my back as I say this and watch his eyebrows shoot up.

"Really?"

"Yep. Double dared."

"So you want to sleep with me to win a dare?"

"That. And other reasons." I yawn.

"What other reasons?" he asks.

"I love you." This response is low and I'm fidgeting with the blanket.

"Do you know what that means?" His question gives me reason to think. Do I?

"I was born out of necessity," I begin. "My grandfather had a blood pact with an Immortal and when it came time to pay up, I was the prize." Simon sits next to me. I expect him to laugh at me. I have explained it to him already, Well, I gave his the Cliff Notes. Now I think I have to fill in the details.

"A prize for who?" He leans closer to me.

"It's hard to understand," I sigh. "There are things that go bump in the night and they are real. I'm one of those things. I'm a muse."

He looks confused.

"A spirit that inspires artists. One hasn't been born in a century. I was born. I'm very valuable."

"The man who kidnapped you?"

"The Immortal who was owed the debt. He wanted me for his own. To possess a muse, to have their love, gives great power. Men are drawn to me. All men, except you. You can't hear my music, follow my movement or see my colors."

"I always just thought I was fucked." Simon smiles.

"Peter wanted that power. I had to give it to him. Give myself to him. I refused and instead, I became his prisoner." My hands began to shake. Simon holds them in his.

"He didn't rape me," I explain. "He touched me. He kissed me and proclaimed his love for me. I didn't give in. I was beaten, tortured and … I

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almost gave in. I would have, but Cruz got involved and I was rescued. Peter was a gambler and he lost me in a game of chance. That's how Cruz got me back to this world."

"This world? Where were you before?"

"Hell."

"Shyane, are they still after you?"

"Yes. I'm very valuable in this condition."

"Condition?" He looks at me as if I'm hiding something.

"Simon, I'm a virgin. I'm pure. If I give myself to someone, they basically possess me. For a muse to fall in love and give themselves to someone is like being possessed by that person. Peter wanted me to give myself to him. He kept me locked away. Waiting for me to be worn down and give in. He couldn't take it from me. I had to give it to him. I didn't. I made him angry and so he's out for revenge. He wants me."

"So, what? If you give yourself to him, he'll what? Stop trying to hurt your family? Hunting for you."

"Yes."

"But only because you're…" Simon waves his hand at me in a distracted way. "You?"

"Innocent," I say simply.

"What happens if you aren't so innocent?"

"What?"  
"What if you had sex? What if you gave yourself to someone? He wouldn't want you then, would he?"

"Well, not to possess, but for revenge," I sigh heavily. "I told you, it's complicated."

"No, it's not." Simon leans forward to kiss me suddenly. "You just have to stop being a virgin."

"That's the problem,"

"Is it?"

"Simon, I do love you, but I want to know in my heart that I love you for the right reasons." I pull back from him.

"If you aren't a virgin, then this Peter can't possess you."

"I don't know that it's that simple."

"Well, it could be a lot less fun."

"Simon!" I start to laugh at him. What else can I do?

"Shyane, I'm involved now. I love you. You know that. And not because of you being a muse. You said so yourself. You have no effect on me because I'm tone deaf, color blind, have no rhythm and can't sing. I love you simply because you're Shyane."

"Do you?" I now pose a question that makes him think.

"With all that I am."

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"Because I won't do it to save myself."

"How about, because I want you?" Simon kisses me again. "It's the least you can do if I'm going to follow you to hell."

"Simon, I don't think this is right. If hell is meant for me, it's not for you."

"Shyane, it isn't wrong. I love you. I have since I first saw you. Not a dance, a song or anything else, just you."

"I'm afraid," I whisper.

"Of what?" Simon pushes my hair back. "It's getting dark. Things that go bump will be coming out. I want to give myself to you. I want you to possess me. I want to be yours from now, until forever. Just yours." He gulps. "If you'll have me."

"I don't want to drag you into this hell. It's my hell. It's my family's blood pact." I try to wiggle away from him.

"Then why did you get naked in front of me?"

"To tempt and tease you."

"You succeeded there," he sounds angry.

"I don't want to make you part of this. It could be dangerous."

"Shyane, the only danger I'm in is falling apart if I lose you." His eyes stare intently into mine.

"Simon, you don't understand. I'll live a lot longer than you. Hundreds of years, maybe. I will have to watch you die. I don't know that I can do that."

"Yes." His kiss in soft, tender and full of passion. "You can. You love me too and you know it." I do know it. "Shyane, give yourself to me? Let me possess you for your love?"

Could it be so easy? Could I stop it all by simply being with Simon? Simon, who would never be affected by my powers? Simon who simply loved me for me? Shyane, not the muse, but the girl. I kiss him back. I want him. I want to be his. He kisses me and I moan loudly.

"Shhh!" Simon whispers in my ear. He bites my lobe lightly and I gasp. My senses are extremely heightened. I feel as if electricity is flowing through my body. "You're so beautiful." His voice is like silk.

I feel his hands beneath the covers, not groping, but softly caressing. I sigh deeply as his mouth finds mine. I let him kiss me and find it more than a little enjoyable. I want more than just the kisses. My hands are on his chest, feeling the heat from his body. It's like he's on fire. On fire for me.

"You sure?" Simon asks, gazing into my eyes. I nod. I have to be. It has to end here. He nods. I watch him sit up and pull his shirt off. I let my hands slide down his chest. I let them come to rest on his hips. He takes my hands in his and pulls me up into a sitting position. My eyes lock on his. He kisses me, then pulls me into his arms. He holds me and I hear his heart racing. He sets me gently back on the bed and climbs out to undress. I shiver as he climbs under the covers with me. His eyes leave mine and travel to my chest. I gasp

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as he cups my breasts and leans down to kiss them.

I feel his hands move around me, feeling my breasts. Simon grins as his hands travel down my body. I move closer to him. The heat of his body is inviting since I am shivering from the cold and the fear that is rising in me with uncertainty. Simon's hands massage my legs, pushing them apart. He sits back and I watch him climb between my spread legs.

He leans down and covers my body with his. His hands are on either side of my face, holding my head so he can kiss me. My hands go back to his hips, holding him. My fingers dig into the upper part of his backside. He hisses and thrusts his body against mine.

"You're sure?" He asks.

"I am," I say in a shaky voice.

"Be very sure," he orders. "I don't want to do this if you aren't sure."

"I'm sure." I move my body against his. He closes his eyes and moans. "Jesus!"

I expect for him to simply take me. Have sex with me. Enter me and claim the prize that is my virtue. I don't expect him to take me in his arms and kiss me. His eyes search mine and he smiles sweetly as he moves to lie next to me, holding me close. I lay my head on his chest and feel comforting warmth in his arms.

"You have no idea what you're doing, do you?" he asks.

"I sort of do. I've read about it," I reply.

"You academics!" he laughs, "I didn't know you could read about and understand love."

"I meant sex," I answer.

"That isn't what this is Shy," he kisses me again. "I happen to be in love with you. Don't you know that?"

"I guess I do or I wouldn't be here, naked with you."

"You aren't naked yet." I still have my socks on.

"Pretty close."

"Well, we're pretty close to doing this."

"This?" I wonder how I will explain 'this' to Cruz.

"Yeah." He pushes me onto my back and moves between my legs again. "This." I feel him caressing my body. I close my eyes and hold my breath.

I wince as his hand moves to massage me. I remember Cord and how he touched me. It wasn't like this. Cord had been a demanding need. This is a tender desire. A desire that is also mine. Simon's finger moves in me and I moan. What is happening to me? I feel my hips buck towards Simon. I want more of his touch.

"You are so wet!" he says as he kisses me again. I nod in agreement, even though I'm not sure what he means. "Another?" he asks. I nod eagerly and gasp in pain as he unexpectedly puts another finger in me. "Relax!" He

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kisses me again.

I'm gasping, trying to catch my breath. I hear my breathing, his heart and I think my racing heart too, as the blood pounds through my veins. The pain is intense, but also pleasure filled. He's breathing hard too, and I wonder if this is normal. My head is spinning and aching. My breathing is labored and painful. I realize I hit that pylon pretty darn hard.

"Breathe," Simon orders as he moves me so that I'm on my back, beneath him. His body presses against mine. "A nice deep breath, Shy. Simon says, Baby."

I look away from him. Past him, at the ceiling and do as I'm told. He kisses me and I feel him in me. I imagine I can actually hear the ripping of my virtue. I can't seem to breathe out. I keep pulling air into my lungs, but not able to let it escape. He's in me. Filling me. Stretching me. My hands are on his hips, pulling him closer.

"Wrap your legs around me," he whispers.

"Simon says?" I ask, teasingly.

"Yes," Simon kisses me again. I do as he says and he moves to me, taking me with him.

I cry out as he goes as deep as possible into me. I throw my head back and push my breasts into his chest. His lips find my nipple and suckle it hard. I cry out in desperate pleasure. He begins to thrust deeper and I listen to his rapid breathing. We're going to a place I have never been, but know I will revisit often. With Simon.

I want him. I want all of him. He thrusts and I cling to him, digging my nails into his flesh. He cries out and throws his head back. He slams into me and I cry out as our bodies collide. He falls on me and I breathe in his musk. I'm panting with him. He holds my face in his hands and kisses me.

"You're no longer a virgin. No longer worth what they want to possess, because I possess you," he smiles. Proud of that fact.

"I won the dare," I whisper as I kiss his neck. He rolls off me and pulls me into his arms. We lay together, trying to regain our senses. I smile to myself. Simon lied to me. He does have rhythm.

"Wake up!" Patsy orders.

I sit up and groan. The room is cold. Simon is warm and my head hurts. I curl back up next to hm. Simon moans and stretches in the bed next to me. His arm comes around and holds me to him. He's slow to wake. I guess he's as tired as I am, because now my eyes are hard and I want to close them.

"You got a black eye." Patsy is leaning over me. I sit up then. I feel my face and it's swollen. "You hit that thing good!" I'm so glad she's pleased. "Dr. Cruz is looking for you. Someone told him you bit the dust. Get up and get dressed."

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I climb from the bed and end up on hands and knees. Simon is next to me instantly. One second I'm walking, and the next I'm crawling. He lifts me up and sets me on the bed. The concern on his face is sweet. The fact that he's naked is entertaining. I smile at him stupidly.

"Ow!" I exclaim.

"Did I hurt you?" His hand holds my face close so he can kiss me.

"You did something!" Patsy says, inspecting the blood in the bed. I frown. That came from me. Now what do we do?

"Get her in the shower!" Patsy is stripping the bed. "I saw the maid's cart down the hall. Be right back." She races out the door and I lean my head on Simon's shoulder.

"No, you can't go to sleep. We have to get dressed. Come on." He lifts me up and carries me to the bathroom. I sit on the edge of the shower as he turns on the water. "Pull your hair back." He hands me a hair tie and tests the temperature of the water. I pull my hair into a ponytail and spin it into a bun. Simon kisses my neck and then helps me into the steaming shower. I yelp at the heat of the water on my aching bones. His hands are full of soap and caressing my body. I moan in pleasure.

"More!" I whimper.

"Not now." He orders, taking a second to kiss me. I let him push me under the water to rinse off and then I'm swaddled in towels. "Come on."

Back in the bedroom Patsy is remaking the bed. I look down at the bloody sheets and wonder what we're going to do with them. As if answering the question Simon, now dressed, gathers them and hurries from the room. I don't even ask. I get dressed and scoop up my socks that Patsy has dislodged from the bedding. I'm cold. I've just pulled on my boots when there's a knock at the door. I stumble over and open it to find Cruz looking angry.

"What happened?" he asks instantly.

"I hit one of those things that direct the route. It is not as soft as it looks. Just like the snow." I let him lift my face up for inspection. "I ended up with a headache and a black eye."

"Yes, you do." He kisses my eye. "How do you feel?"

"Like I have a black eye and a headache so I was lying down." He looks skeptically at Patsy, who is now lying on the made bed

"And I'm hungry." He looks at me in surprise. All I have to do is say I'm hungry and he's ready to forgive anything if I clean my plate.

"You need to eat, then. Let's get dinner." He holds out his arm. I take it. We leave the room with Patsy close behind. Simon comes running down the hall towards us.

"Where've you been?" I ask in a playful annoyed voice.

"Taking out some trash," he says falling into step with us. Patsy grabs his arm and leans on him. "What's with you?" He turns his attention to his sister.

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"Me and Shy are gonna have a slumber party with popcorn, fudge, movies and hot chocolate." She sounds as if she's reading a menu. "I can't wait. I want fudge."

"Remember what Mom says, a moment on the lips, forever on the hips." Simon teases.

"If it would hold my pantyhose up, I'd smear I directly on my hips," Patsy mumbles, making Cruz cough, laughing. I shake my head at him.

"Maybe we should have a doctor look at you." Cruz leans in to examine my eye again.

"I'm fine. It was just more embarrassing than anything," I frown. "I forgot to sit down." Now they all laugh at me. I roll my eyes and wince. That makes me dizzy.

"We're getting you looked at. You two go on to dinner. We'll be along."

Before I can protest I'm steered to the clinic behind the main desk of the resort. I fall into a seat and watch Cruz fill out the information. My stomach turns and I feel ill. I don't want to vomit, so I sit up. Maybe I did whack my head pretty hard. Cruz gives me a concerned look and I watch his face distort and the room spin. I fall back in the chair, moaning.

"Why didn't you come find me when you first got hurt?" Cruz asks, holding his hand to my forehead.

"I was embarrassed. I was laid out, right in front of everyone," I mumble. "And I really am hungry. Nauseous, but hungry."

"Soup." Cruz hands the papers to the nurse. He helps me stand. "Only soup and tea."

I don't argue because that sounds real good. I lick my lips, even though my mouth is sweating on the inside. I try not to vomit because I want crackers with that soup. I am examined by a nice young doctor who looks like a male model. He's so young and cute that I actually blush when his hand goes into my shirt to set the stethoscope. This gets a frown from Cruz. I sit and let the nice doctor examine me. Diagnosis? Bump on head and contusion to my orbital, a black eye.

"She's fine," the doctor declares, patting my head. So much for flirting with him. He thinks I'm just a little kid. I wander to the dining room as Cruz pays the bill.

"Hey!" Simon hurries up to me. I notice that he's alone. "What'd the doctor say?"

"I got a bump and a black eye."

"Wow! I could have told you that."

"Where's Patsy?"

"She grabbed food and went back to your room. She said something about pigging out."

"Yeah, I need to eat and head that way. I promised her an exciting

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evening." I head to the hostess. "Three." She smiles and leads me and Simon to a table.

"Where's Dr. Cruz?" Simon asks, sitting with me.

"Paying the bill." I look over the menu and order a burger and fries.

"You do know why she's all about staying in the room, don't you?"

"No." I look up and see Cruz heading towards me, but he gets sidetracked by Ms. Allen. They do make a nice couple. And he seems a lot happier with her than with Dr. Brooks.

"Full moon," Simon says, bringing me back from my observations of my father and my teacher.

"Huh?"

"There's a full moon and he gets wolfie and doesn't want to chance anyone seeing him that way."

"Oh!" It makes sense. "So you get the room all to yourself tonight?"

"Yeah, I was hoping you'd sneak over." he whispers.

"Can't. I promised Patsy!" I warn.

"Have you ordered?" Cruz asks sitting down.

"Burger and fries," I reply as my soda is brought to me.

"Simon?" Cruz looks over the menu and orders the same thing I did.

"I ate with Patsy." Simon orders a soda.

"Where is she?" Cruz looks around.

"She went back to the room after she ate." Simon says, but Cruz is looking back at the table with adults where Ms. Allen sits.

"Oh! Good!" Cruz replies absently.

"Pop," I sigh, "why don't you go eat with adults and let me and Simon alone?" I ask with a pouty face.

"No, I want to dine with you." Cruz looks embarrassed.

"Pop?" I groan. He looks up at me guiltily. "Go. I'll send your burger over."

"You'll get back to your room okay?" Cruz asks me.

"I'll walk her," Simon says quickly. Too quickly. Cruz's gaze intensifies.

"Yeah, me and Patsy are eating our weight in junk food." I smile at Cruz.

"Not too late," Cruz warns.

"Can I order pizza on room service?" I ask with the biggest Bambi eyes I can pull off with a swollen one. I think the black eye helps.

"Sure. Not too late though."

Cruz stands, leans over to kiss my head and heads over to the table of adults. I watch him pull a chair up and sit between Ms. Allen and Mr. Thomas, the P E teacher. Mr. Thomas looks pissed, but Ms. Allen is overjoyed. My burger is set before me and I direct the waitress to take Cruz's to him. Simon steals my French Fries. We enjoy a quiet meal. My headache is gone and my stomach full. I'm ready for Patsy and whatever she has planned.

"Zip your jacket up It's cold out," Simon orders as he helps me into my

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puffy, stylish, ski jacket.

"Are you going to the Karaoke?" I ask. It's a planned event for the kids from school who have come on the trip.

"No. I can't sing. Remember?"

I smile. I did forget.

"Put your hat on. Simon says." I do as I'm told and follow him out the door of the dining hall.

The night is bright, crisp and cold. There is no breeze. My breath hangs on the air. Simon puts his arm around me and we walk along the path, back to the hotel and our rooms. I lean against Simon and sigh. I think we're both trying to think of a way to discuss what happened. What we did. Neither one of us wants to start, so we walk along in silence. We're almost to the hotel when Simon stops and turns me to face him. We're just a few feet from the woods. I hear a wolf and wonder if it's Sebastian.

"He sounds happy," Simon chuckles.

"I hope he isn't doing it with any other females."

"Or males," Simon teases. I roll my eyes at him. "You never know!"

"He's in love with Patsy!" I hiss.

"I know!" Simon laughs. "Almost as much as I love you." He sets his hands on my shoulders and kisses me. I stand on tip toe to kiss him back.

"So you love me?" I ask.

"Very much Shy." He smiles and I gaze into his eyes and see that he's telling me the truth. "Let's go to my room and let me make love to you?" he asks. I smile at him and then watch the loving look in his eyes turn to shock and disbelief.

"Simon?" I step back from him.

Simon's hands slide from my shoulders. His face pales and his eyes lock on mine. He pushes me back and I stand staring at him in disbelief. The front of his jacket has a red spot on it. The spot is growing, bigger and bigger. I open my mouth to scream, but nothing comes out. Simon looks as me, then down at his chest. His hands go to his chest and I hear a sickening noise, like someone cutting a piece of fruit. Simon falls to his knees and I see Peter standing behind Simon with a bloody dagger in his hand.

"It seems I have to do everything myself!" Peter says reaching out to grab my arm. I scream. Simon falls over and I watch the white snow beneath him become dark red.

"Peter!" Victor! He's running towards us.

"Victor! Get help! Simon's hurt!" I try to get away from Peter.

"Peter!" Victor yells again in warning.

"Stay back!" Peter holds the dagger as if to harm me. "You have no say in this! I'm retrieving what is rightfully mine!"

"Don't do this!" Victor warns as he leans over Simon. "Peter!"

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"Victor!" I scream. "Save Simon!" I'm kicking and fighting, but I can't get away. In fact, I'm being dragged into the darkness. Darkness! How could there be darkness? There's a full moon above us! But no, there's bluish-purple darkness. "Victor!" I scream.

"Yes! Victor! Save him!" Peter laughs, pulling me into the darkness.

The last thing I see before the darkness swallows me is Simon's dying eyes as Victor bites down on his neck!

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The

Vengeance

"Shy!"

The insanity that met me in the darkness has left me feeling week and ill. I fight to wake up. It's cold and I'm lying on the cold, hard floor. I blink and see lights above me. I move slowly, hearing someone moaning in pain. I discover that it's me.

"Shy! Wake up!" It's Patsy. I must be dreaming. I open my eyes and sit up slowly. My head hurts again. "Shy! Wake up and untie me!"

Untie? I blink and my heart leaps. In fear. I'm in the jail again. I'm in hell. I'm in my room at Peter's house. I blink a couple of times and turn full circle. Patsy is sitting on the floor with her hand behind her back and her legs folded up under her. She's wearing a collar and the leather leash is tied to the leg of the piano bench. I crawl over to her and find that her arms are tied behind her, to the leg of the piano. I lean my head on her shoulder.

"Untie me!" she screeches.

"I can't. He'll beat us both." I reach up to feel my own collar around my neck. No leash. Not yet.

I try to get my bearings. Peter brought me here, but how did Patsy get here? I look about. Not much has changed. In fact, nothing has. The door to the bathroom is gone. I see the shining toilet. My bed is still in the corner and the blankets are neatly folded at the foot of the bed. I sit next to Patsy and sob. I'm back in hell. Peter has brought me back to suffer.

"Stop crying!" Patsy cries. "Simon will tell Cruz and they'll come."

Simon. My mind snaps back and I cry out. Simon! I stand, fall over and crawl to the bathroom to be ill. Simon is dead. Peter stabbed him and Victor finished him off! Simon won't come looking for us. I stand slowly and rinse my mouth in the sink. My reflection is quite sickening. I feel as if I'm dying. I realize I am. My heart is broken. Diana told me about this. I gave all of it to Simon, and now he's dead and I'm dying too. Not only that, I'm taking Patsy with me. There's no way to get her out of here. Well, there is one way. My stomach clenches at the thought. I turn and vomit.

"Are you ill?" Michele. I look up to find her looking down at me as if I'm the vomit on the floor.

"Michele! You're still here!" I'm actually happy to see her.

"Where else would I be? This is my home!" She holding a tray of food. The same tasteless crap from before. I vomit again.

"Can you untie me?" Patsy calls.

"No!" Michele calls back. "I brought you food."

"No thanks," I groan.

"I'll set it on the piano. Peter said for you to eat before he comes to see you." Michele sets the tray down and looks at Patsy.

"What are we doing here?" Patsy asks.

"Waiting for Peter." Michele walks over to sit on the bed. "I really didn't

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expect to see you back here."

"I didn't expect to be dragged back." I crawl out of the bathroom and sit against the wall.

"Peter's been looking for you, day and night." Michele seems upset by this fact. "He searched and searched and then decided to search the other world. He then got help and sent them to the other world. I guess his dogs found you."

"Dogs?" I lean my head in my hands.

"Yeah, he gave them your scent." Michele is looking me over. "Why are you dressed that way?"

"I was on a ski trip." I stand slowly and move over to sit next to Patsy.

"Is she your friend?" Michele asks.

"Yeah. My best friend." I lean my head against Patsy again.

"If I'm such a damned good friend, why don't you untie me?" Patsy grumbles.

"Because you will suffer if she does," Michele replies.

"Back to the same shit!" I laugh dryly.

"This is the life you were chosen for." Michele leans back on the bed.

"Did she just say you were chosen for? I thought most people chose their own lives," Patsy says angrily. I laugh at her attitude. I'm not as frightened with her there. Michele frowns at us.

"Shyane is not most people. She is a tribute. Peter granted all favors to her family and it is her duty to fulfill her family's debt. She belongs to Peter," Michele explains.

"And you agreed to this?" Patsy is mystified.

"I was born for this." I feel ill again. "Peter lost me, though."

"You're kind of big to misplace." I want to cry at the humor Patsy is flinging at me.

"Not like that. He lost me to a vampire in a game of chance. Cards. Gambling."

"I got it." Patsy shifts and groans. "My arms are killing me."

"Peter will kill you soon enough." Michele calls out.

"How did you get here?" I face my friend.

"I don't know. One moment I'm sitting on my bed in the hotel, stuffing my face, and the next I'm being carried into the darkness by some big dude and then I think I passed out."

"Big dude?" Peter isn't that big.

"Yeah, big and dumb." Patsy shift again. "How long till he kills me?"

"Shut up, Patsy." I try not to think of Simon.

"Okay." Patsy complies.

"Big and dumb?" I ask.

"That would be one of the minions." Michele sits up and smiles at us.

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"The what?" I ask.

"The minions. Peter has acquired several. They're in the woods waiting for Bernardo to come. They plan on killing him." Michele seems too pleased at her words.

"Kill Cruz?" I whisper.

"Bernardo Cruz! The blue blood duke!" Michele stands to walk towards us. "He thinks he can take from Peter and get away with it!"

"Who's in the woods?" I ask, then rephrase my question. "Exactly what is in the woods?"

"Vampires!" Michele laughs. "Peter won them in a game of chance. Just as he lost you! They are young and powerful. Hard to control, but Peter is a great master to them."

"Master?" My stomach turns. "Peter controls vampires? Why? They're dangerous! Especially young ones! They could turn on him!"

"No, he's keeps them well fed. That's what she's for." Michele nods at Patsy. "They're easier to deal with when not hungry."

"No!" I hug Patsy.

"They won't kill her." Michele sings. "They'll just feed on her for a while. She won't die." Michele leans down to hiss at us. "At least, not right away."

"Michele, stop!" I reach to push her away.

"You stop. She's not your friend. She's nothing. She's dinner!" The jealousy in Michele's voice is now clear. I did say that Patsy was my best friend.

"Why don't you fuck off you morbid little shit!" Patsy spits. Michele looks confused. She's sure Patsy just insulted her but she's not sure to what extent.

"I'll watch them dine on you!" Michele spits back hatefully.

"I'll watch you die! If I have to do it myself!" Patsy sounds so brave and threatening.

"That won't ever happen." Michele smiles at us. I hate her because she might be right.

"Dr. Cruz will come." Patsy declares angrily.

"He will and he will die! They're gonna rip him to shreds and then he's going to make you accept your fate!" I suddenly hate Michele. "She'll live in this room. You'll go to his."

"I will not!" I snap.

"You will." I look up and see Peter smiling at me. No, not smiling. Leering. My stomach turns. "Or she suffers." His leer turns to Patsy. I stand up and put myself between Patsy and him.

"No, please! She's not of this world. She shouldn't be here."

"All you have to do is give yourself to me." Peter is now walking around the room. Walking around me.

"Peter…," I turn to follow him.

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"You know what I want. And I think now, you know what you are. Do you? Do you know what you are?"

"Yes," I bite my lower lip.

"Who told you?" Peter is pleased that I know what I am.

"The vampires that took me from here. They told me that night that I was a muse. I didn't believe them. But I guess you knew."

"Since the day your mother offered you to me in her womb. I just knew. It had to be you for me." Peter sits at the piano, on the bench, right next to Patsy. He reaches down and pats her on the head, like anyone would a dog. Patsy grimaces and glares up at him. "You should dance for me." It's not a request. It's an order.

I'm back. I open my mouth and find that my voice is gone. My limbs are like lead. I can't even run. I'm too sick to my stomach to care. Besides, there's nothing left in me. The burger and fries were good. Going down. Coming back up was another thing. I watch as Peter curls a single finger to me. Beckoning me to him. I don't go to him. He takes that single finger and hits a key. The note is high pitched and echoes through the room. He hits it at a steady beat. I swallow and fight to lift my feet. I can't.

"Dance for me. Now." I don't move. "Dance for me!" Peter yells in frustration, slamming his hands down on the piano keys. I jump but still don't move. "What do I have to do to get you to understand that this is for the best? You and I were always meant to be."

I'm sickened by his implications. But I fight to gather my wits. I have to be strong and buy time. Cruz will come. He'll bring Richard, Sebastian and the three stooges. He won't bring Simon or Victor. Simon is dead and I'll kill Victor as soon as I see him. If he betrayed us… I shake my head and breathe deeply. I have to play the game. The game of survival. I look at Patsy and see that she is totally helpless, yet she's still got fight in her eyes.

"Why is she here? Why did you bring her here?"

"I didn't. " Peter sounds angry. "I sent someone to your room to bring you to me and she was there. They brought her. She has a foul mouth." He looks down at Patsy in disgust. "But she'll have a use."

"Who brought her here?"

"This family has grown." Peter stands and walks to me. I want to turn and run, but can't. "I tried to get you back. Instead, I acquired several additions. They are young and willful, but willing enough for adventure."

"Adventure?"

"To fight. They like to fight." He walks around me. "I'm surprised that you associated with such..," he looks down at Patsy, "people."

"Fuck off!" Patsy says. Peter kicks her and she yelps.

"Stop!" I scream.

"You can stop this." Peter turns his attention on me. I begin to tremble.

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"She will suffer with you. For you. Is that what you want?"

"No." I shake my head.

"Shyane, why is it so hard for you to understand that this is your part in that blood pact? You were conceived just for me. To fulfill that pact. You were given to me to save them. I was given the very first muse born in this century. There are others, but they aren't of age or they're hidden away. Do you know how exquisite you are? How prized?"

He steps before me and raises his hand. I wince and gasp. His touch is cold against my cheek. It's not tender or loving. It's sickening. I want to turn my face away, but know that Patsy will suffer for my defiance. Peter's hand slides behind my head and he pulls me to him. My hands go to his chest to keep him from me. His face moves closer to mine. I want to vomit.

"You are mine. Your family gave you to me. Their debt is repaid through your life." I try to push him away. "All you have to do is give yourself to me and I'll let Cruz live. You tell him that you want to stay with me. That you want to fulfill your family's debt. He'll go and I'll let him. I'll keep the young ones from destroying him."

"And Patsy?"

"She stays." Peter looks down at her. "I promised her to them."

"Please, let her go?"

"No. I can't. You are mine and she is theirs."

"I won't…"

"You will. They want her to drain. I'll keep that from happening." Peter hands still hold me at the ready to kiss. "Just for you."

"For me?" Now I'm confused.

"As a pet."

I gasp in horror.

"Fuck a duck!" Patsy spits the words out laughing. I want to laugh too. The problem is that he's serious.

"Shyane, I'll shower you with jewels and love. I'll do anything to make you happy. I'll give you anything!"

The desperation in his voice frightens me.

"She's not worthy of you." Michele says loud enough for us to hear.

"Leave!" Peter turns to scream at her. I watch her eyes become ice as she hurries from the room. He turns his attention back to me. "I love you."

Love? I'm not sure I really know what love is. And I'm sure that Peter doesn't know. All that Peter knows is possession. Possession of the body and soul. He wants to possess me. He wants what I can't give him. What I can never give him. What I have given to someone else. Someone who is now dead. We're going to die. Now or later doesn't really matter. It will happen. Sooner will make the suffering less. I look at Patsy and know that she will fight. What's to become of her is not worth my life. Death is a lot easier. At least then

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it's over. Besides, I don't want to live without Simon. I love Simon. I loved Simon. Simon is dead. I lock my eyes on Peter's.

"I don't love you."

The words hang on the air. I said them. I watch Peter's eyes and see the cold hate fill them. He grips the hair at the base of my neck and jerks my head back. I cry out in surprised pain. Peter's eyes are too angry to describe. I know one thing. He wants to hurt me. He wants me to hurt as much as he does. It's a pain that I know well. Wanting to be loved and knowing that those you love won't love you. Not in the way you want. My family loved me because I saved them. I was never expected to grow up, to graduate school, to marry or to have a life. I was never expected to live. But I did. Now, I'm not ready to die.

"You will love me!" Peter snarls in my face. I now see what he is.

To me, Peter has always looked human. I suspect to all of us, he has looked just like a man. But he is not. Peter is something that I can't describe as anything other than a monster. His hair is long and stringy, his skin blistered with decayed flesh and his eyes a flashing yellow. My face is inches from his fangs and his dreadful breath. I cough and kick at him. The stench is nauseating.

"You will love me or you will watch her die." His voice is low and threatening. "You will learn to love me." He shakes me so I'll get the point. "Or you will die."

"You fucking son of a good for nothing bitch!" Patsy screams at the top of her lungs, "I'll kill you myself! Cut me loose and let me at that ugly ass idiot!"

"Shut up!" Peter yells.

"You shut up!" Patsy yells back. Her fearlessness gives me strength.

"Let me go!" I begin to fight.

Peter shakes me again and I spit in his face. I feel the world spin as he hits me. I land on the floor next to Patsy. It takes me a few seconds to regain my senses and sit up. Patsy's voice is the first thing I hear when I'm finally able to hear voices other than the ringing noise in my burning ear. At least Peter was kind enough to hit me on the opposite side of my head. Now I'll look like a raccoon with matching black eyes. Patsy's screaming and Peter is standing over me. I fall back on the floor and stare at the ceiling. It's spinning slowly.

"Shy!" Patsy screams. I hear a scraping and know that she's pulling at the piano with enough strength to move it. "Shy! You son of a bitch! I hate you! I hope you die! I want you to die!"

"I can't die!" Peter snarls. "You, on the other hand, don't have this problem. Either of you!"

"Shy!" Patsy is dragging the piano again. She's really pumped up. That thing weighs a ton. "Shy, talk to me! Say something!"

"That hurt!" I moan.

"It's going to hurt a lot worse!" Peter kicks my leg viciously.

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"Ow," I moan softly. I can't muster much more.

"Get up!" Peter reaches down to grab my arm. He jerks me to my feet and the world spins. "You will give me what I want!" The sudden movement together with his foul breath and decaying body odor makes me almost vomit.

"I'm gonna be sick!" I moan.

"You are going to do as you're told." Peter declares.

I'm flying. Peter literally throws me onto my bed. It groans under my weight. I struggle to sit up and see Peter walking to me. No, not walking, lurching. Without his false glamour he has no grace and basically drags his decrepit body after him, towards me. I swallow back bile. His hand moves to stroke himself. At least I think he's stroking himself. I wonder if he's equipped in the same manner as a human. If he is then he's preparing himself to rape me. I move to the edge of the bed and leap off. I plan on running but stumble, dizzily, and fall headlong onto the floor.

"Shy!" Patsy is still trying to drag the piano across the room. I crawl to her and reach to untie her. I know we'll suffer but we won't just give in. I don't succeed. "Shy!" I do wish she'd stop screaming my name. My head aches enough without her screaming at the top of her lungs. "Shy!" her screaming has become urgent.

I'm flying again. Peter has grabbed my ankle and simply flung me across the room. This time I crash into the wall where there used to be mirrors. Thank goodness that Peter broke them when he was thrown into them. I fall to the floor in pain. Not agony. Not yet, anyway. He's lurching towards me again and I know with him comes the agony. He can't take it from me. I have to give it to him and I can't. He won't kill me. He'll only make me wish I was dead.

"Leave her alone!" Patsy is screaming.

"Give me what I want!" Peter yells.

"I gave it to someone else!" I yell as I sit up. The room spins again and I lean back against the wall.

"What?" Peter stops dead in his tracks. I almost laugh at the sudden change in his face. He looks like a small lost child. "You what?"

"I love someone else! I gave it to him! Willingly!" I yell at him. I see that my words are like knives flying into his heart. "I am his! My heart! My soul! My life! I am Simon's!"

"The boy I killed?" He asks in confusion.

"Simon!" Patsy screams in anguished pain, "You killed my brother? You animal! I'll kill you!"

"No," Peter glares at me and turns to walk to Patsy. "I'll kill you!"

"No!" I scramble to my feet and rush to her.

I leap on his back, beating him with my fists. He has untied Patsy and is dragging her to her feet. I'm the one screaming now. Patsy is cursing. He's yelling. The confusion in the room is only intensified by screaming and yelling

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and yelping. I'm thrown to the floor again and this time I feel feet hit my chest. Sebastian uses me as a launch pad as he flies towards Peter. I hear snarling, barking, growling and yelping. Oh, and cursing. Patsy is cursing.

I crawl over to her and hug her. She's trying to hold herself up and can't. She's moaning and trying to hold her arms and move her hands. Her limbs are tingling painfully from being tied for so long. I sit her up and hold her against me which gets me an earful of curse words. Then there's more yelling. What I would suspect are the new vampires have arrived just as the three stooges and Richard enter. The battle ensues. I drag Patsy under the piano just as one of the new vampires is thrown onto it. It groans, but doesn't collapse on us. I watch the fight and notice another dog fighting with Peter now. Sebastian is beneath a vampire, gnawing on his arm. The vampire is screaming.

"Did he really kill Simon?" Patsy asks through tears. I nod and cry too. Where is Cruz? I want my dad!

"Go!" Malcolm yells at us, "Run, little dancer!"

"He's got to be kidding!" Patsy moans.

"Come on!"

I drag Patsy out from under the piano and help her to her feet. The room is now covered in blood and bodies. Kai and Stewart rip the head off a vampire and I close my eyes. Patsy gasps and clings to me. We have to get out of here. We stumble through the room, avoiding getting grabbed or struck. Michele is blocking our escape. She's holding a broom and waiting for us to try and pass. I decide that I've had enough of her. Patsy apparently feels the same way. Together we shove right past her and fall into the hall.

"You can't go!" Michele screams. "He'll die without you!"

"I hope!" I reply, dragging myself to my feet and Patsy with me.

We race out the front door and into the coming darkness. Not only is the sky a funny reddish purple but there's a thick fog that not only will hide us but also hide our attackers. We have no choice. We stumble on and head straight for my internal north. Grandpa's words float in my head. If you can find north, you can always find home. We head for home.

The yells, screams and snarls fade into the fog. Patsy is moving along slowly and without my help, she can't move at all. I'm basically carrying her. She is still rail thin, but not light. The farther we get, the more she is able to shuffle along and faster. We have to go faster. I hear yells from behind us. They're after us. I tug at Patsy's arm and she yelps. I have it swung over my shoulder and I think I just dislocated it.

"Just leave me!" She begs.

"Not happening!" I reply. We stop and I look around at the fog that is surrounding us. North. That's all I have, so that's where we head. If this world ends and we fall off the edge, it won't be so bad. Simon is dead. I shudder and help Patsy to sit on a rock we almost trip over. "Did I hurt you?"

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"Yeah," she's rubbing her shoulder, "but not too bad." She still has tears streaming down her face. "What happened? To Simon?"

"We were on our way to the room. To you. We stopped to talk, and Peter stabbed him in the back. He just fell in the snow." I wonder if I should tell her about Victor.

"What else?" Patsy knows me too well.

"Victor was there. He was coming after Peter and I told him to get help for Simon. I think he did." I lie.

"You're lying." Shit! Why does she do this to me?

"I think Victor bit him. Killed him. Well, finished him off."

"Bit Simon? Like, for his blood?" I know how appalled she is because so am I.

"I don't know. We have to get moving. They'll be after us." I look back into the fog.

"Where are we supposed to go? How do we get out of this hell and back home to the hell that's there?" Patsy is not helping the situation.

"I have no clue."

"Did you ever see that movie about ghosts and how the fog kept them trapped in the house they haunted?" Patsy asks. I roll my eyes. How can she think of movies at a time like this? "What if it's the same here and we can't get past the fog? What if it keeps us from getting away?" I'm afraid she's making sense. "What if we just wander around forever in the fog?"

"Would you rather go back?" I snap. "I can climb into his bed and you can be my pet!"

"Yeah, okay," She stands slowly. "Which way now?"

"North!" I say.

"Why north?" she asks in her annoyed voice. It sounds great! She's back!

"Because I always know which way is north."

"Oh, well, in that case, mush north!" I almost laugh, and then I hear howling. We both stop.

"Shit!" I curse.

"It's not him. It's another." She would know.

"Good! More company!" I'm not relieved.

"Which way is north?" Patsy reaches out to grab my arm.

"This way." We stumble on.

The fog is so thick that I can't see three feet ahead of me. We've begun to shuffle along, just in case the world does end. And because Patsy's having a hard time moving. The howling is getting closer. Both of us are resolved to just keep moving and if they catch us, they catch us. I've decided to die fighting. I know Patsy has too. The howling is right behind us.

"Shyane!" Cruz! We both stop dead and look back into the fog.

"Pop!" I scream. "Pop! Cruz!" I want to run back into the fog.

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"You don't know that it's really him!" Patsy warns. I know she's right. Nothing here is true. "I think we need to find something solid to put our asses against and then we can see what comes out of the fog. And it better not be zombies!"

For being such a pain in the ass, Patsy has the best ideas and level head that I can only admire. We stumble on until we run face first into a huge tree. I end up on the ground with my eyes watering and blood coming from my newly smashed nose. Patsy is next to me, holding her scabbed and bleeding forehead. We crawl to the tree and lean back against it. Cradled in its protruding roots. Just for an instant we feel safe. The howling is closer. A lot closer. We hug each other.

It steps into sight. It's a big dog. Bigger than Sebastian. It's eyes are red with gnashing white teeth. I hold my breath and reach out with my hand. I find a big stick and hold it before me, ready to swing it. It won't do much, but I can't just sit and let this animal eat us. There is yelling from behind the dog. He turns his back to us and growls at the coming voices.

"Maybe he knows Sebastian?" Patsy offers to my confused look.

"Yes, I know that fool." The dog looks over his shoulder at us and speaks. I drop the stick. "Pick that up. You might need it." The voice coming from the dog is Cruz's.

"Pop?" I ask realizing this is the other dog that was in the fight.

"I'll answer your questions later." He's focused on the noises of someone approaching. No, something.

"I'm part dog?" I ask stupidly.

"I can call you a bitch now!" Patsy laughs insanely.

"Get ready!" Cruz orders. I'm still stuck on Cruz's voice coming from the dog. It's surreal! The noises are just beyond the fog. I snap back out of my realization that my father is a dog and hold tightly to my stick. "The others will be coming but..,"

I know. Cruz is afraid that reinforcements might not make it in time to help us. We have to fight.

"Find me a damn stick!" Patsy struggles to stand. I see a good size limb and snatch it for her. She takes it and holds it as if it were a baseball bat.

Baseball! I think of Daddy and our nightly games of catch. I miss him and the safety that I felt when I was with him. I want my Daddy. I want Grandpa. I want to go home. I want to go back. I will. I will survive this and I will go home and play catch with my Daddy. I grip the limb tighter and grimace as the rough bark bites into my flesh.

They step out of the fog, a wall of vampires. At least six of them. We're surrounded. I swallow and breathe deeply. If I'm going to die, I'm taking a vampire or two with me. I know enough about young vampires to realize that they are stronger now than they will ever be. And more dangerous than they

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will ever be. Peter is with them. He's banged up, and once again he looks human.

"Shyane, come with me and I'll let Cruz and the girl go." Peter holds out his hand to me.

"She's not going!" Cruz snarls.

"Shyane!" Peter's voice is warning. "Now!"

I shake my head.

Peter's glare intensifies.

"Kill them. All but her. She gets to watch!" The vampires advance.

"Batter up!" Patsy chuckles.

I look over at her and nod. I'm not bad at pinch hitting. I'm ready. I hear the voices from the fog. Richard and the three stooges. They're still fighting. They might make it but then again.., Cruz crouches, ready to leap. Who will move first? We stand waiting for someone to make the first move. It's a standoff. Cruz looks ready to take this fight on. But he's too late. Sebastian comes from the fog and sideswipes Peter, sending him flying to the ground. Cruz leaps over them and takes down two vampires. That leaves six. I ready myself.

"Bastards!" Patsy swings her limb. It connects, but does nothing. The vampire wrenches the limb from her and flings it to the side. I pull back to swing and my limb is snatched from me. I turn and find Simon looking at me.

"Simon!" I scream and fling myself into his arms. He hugs me quickly and then shoves me into Patsy and both of us behind him.

"He's alive!" Patsy hugs me. She's crying, this time happily.

"Stay there!" Simon orders, looking over his shoulder at us.

I freeze. His eyes. Simon's eyes are different. They're red. Glowing red. He smiles at me and I see the fangs. Victor didn't kill him. Victor saved him. In a way. Simon is now a vampire. Peter is screaming. Two of the vampires rush back to help him. Simon dives on the other four. He is younger. He is stronger. Simon is fighting for our lives. Victor is there now. He simply rips the head off a vampire.

Patsy and I hold tightly to each other and watch. Simon is thrown back. More vampires are coming. The three stooges are there. I wonder how many young vampires Peter has acquired. I hear him screaming as Sebastian chews his face off. Blood spurts out. Richard is in the mix. He tears a vampire off of Cruz and throws it into the fog. It connects with something, making a sickening thud. Peter stands and throws Sebastian into the tree Patsy and I are standing by. He crashes next to us.

"NO!" Patsy falls to the ground, hugging him. He whimpers. He's alive! "Sebastian!" She kisses his nose and he licks her face. I sit with them. I've found my stick again and hold it at the ready to defend.

"He's gonna be fine," I say, although I'm not really sure. He looks very

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beat up.

"You will comply!" Peter yells, lurching towards us. "Shyane! Accept your destiny! You are mine!"

The movement is sudden. Peter is standing there, but his head is not attached. Just his body is there, with his hand outstretched towards me. I look up to see Simon holding the dead head in his hand. The head is still alive, the mouth moving. Simon looks at it, grunts and then throws it into the fog. The body falls first to its knees and then to the ground.

"No. She is mine!" Simon says. I tend to agree. I jump to my feet and run to him. Simon catches me and holds me tightly. He's cold. I cling to him. Maybe if I hug him long enough he'll warm up. I hold onto him. He's mine as I am his.

The vampires seem to disappear into the fog. With their master dead, the vampires are running. Cruz moves to me. I let go of Simon and drop down to hug him. He's licking my face and sniffing me. Checking me over to ensure I'm alright. Richard is next to me. He pats my head and smiles. He looks as if he's enjoyed himself. The three stooges fall about us. We're all gasping for breath and trying to regroup.

"We got to get out of here. Back to the other world." Kai looks into the fog. "Some may want revenge for the destruction of their master."

"Or just for fun!" Stewart laughs. Kai laughs with him.

"I would!" Malcolm joins in on the fun.

"Come on." Simon releases me and reaches down to lift Sebastian into his arms. "Follow Cruz."

Cruz barks and moves into the fog. We follow. Patsy stumbles and Richard lifts her into his arms and carries her. I'm glad. She's been through so much. I hurry after them. The three stooges bring up the rear. I look about for Victor. I don't see him, the fog is too thick. We're able to follow Cruz because he's barking. His bark echoes off the thick fog. I stumble and grab onto Richard's elbow. The fog seems to be taking all the air. I cough and fight the dizziness.

"Come on!" Simon yells back to us.

I feel sick. The fog is spinning faster than I thought possible. I try to hold onto Richard but he slips through my hand. I'm falling. Back. I can't call out to them. The swirling fog is pulling at me. I fight to keep my eyes open and can't. I'm lying on the ground. They've left me. I'm lost in the fog. I gasp for air and reach into the fog. Nothing is there. I'm alone. I can't breathe and feel my life slipping away into the swirling fog.

"I've got you." Victor's voice is in my ear. He's lifting me up into his arms. "Thought we'd lose you?"

"You killed him," I mumble.

"I had to. He was dying." Victor carries me into the fog. I lean my head against his shoulder, snuggling up against his neck. The dizziness is making

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me nauseous. "You'll thank me one day."

"Will I?" I ask dreamily. "What about me and you?"

"Some things just don't work out." Victor sounds depressed. "At least, not for me."

"Shyane!" Cruz is yelling for me.

"Shyane," Victor says my name lowly and kisses me tenderly. I feel like I might vomit. Not from the kiss. "This is goodbye for us. You have someone to spend forever with. It just isn't me."

"Shyane!" Cruz is getting closer. Victor and I stare into each other's eyes for a long moment. I want to kiss him again.

"She's here!" Victor yells, breaking the spell between us.

The next thing I know, I'm in Cruz's arms, the sky is blue and my Pop is human again. The fog is gone and there's snow all over the place. We're back. It's cold and I'm tired. It's almost dawn. The night flew by and we have fought our way back home. Well, back to the ski resort, anyway. So much for hitting the slopes on our last day of skiing.

We all hurry to Cruz's suite before the skiers head for the dining room for breakfast. His suite is big enough to accommodate all of us. We fall into chairs and on the bed. Cruz sits down with me on his lap. I don't think he wants to let go of me. I don't mind. I cling to him.

Patsy is sitting on the couch with Sebastian's head on her lap and Simon right next to her. He's staring at me with his new vampire eyes. I hide my face in Cruz's neck. The three stooges fall out about the floor. Victor and Richard stand by the door. We are all here and we are all safe. A little banged up, but safe. Peter is dead. He can't hunt, covet or hurt me or mine again. I'm still frightened. And sickened.

I saw Peter beheaded by Simon. Simon who is also dead. Simon who's a vampire. How the hell are we going to explain this to his parents? He didn't break a leg or crack his skull, he just died. My stomach clenches up. Cruz finally lets me out of his bear hug and examines my face. I wince, not so much in pain but by his reaction to my face. It must look pretty bad.

"I don't have to go back? Ever?" I ask.

Cruz looks into my eyes and caresses my sore cheek. His eyes are full of pain. I think he might say I have to go back, but instead he shakes his head. I sigh in relief. He looks at Simon and frowns. He's thinking of how to tell Simon and Patsy's parents. Or what to tell them. Maybe they'll just believe he's going through a teen thing? I hope so. He can be rebellious and refuse to eat solid food. That might explain his new liquid diet. My stomach turns again.

"Damn!" Kai moans in pain.

"How bad is it?" Cruz asks.

"Bad." Malcolm is hugging his brother. "He needs blood. Fresh blood. We better go." Stewart moves to help Kai stand. I watch Simon flinch at the words.

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When will he dine and on who?

"Come on, Buddy!" Stewart coaxes as Kai cries out in pain.

"I got ya, baby brother!" Malcolm holds his brother up. "Open the door, Stewart. We gotta make a run for it. Stick close."

"I'll go with you." Victor moves to open the door.

We all jump when the door flies open and there stands Michele. She looks crazed. Her eyes are wild and her face pale. Victor jerks her into the room and slams the door. She moves across the room and stands holding a handgun. Where did she get that? I notice that she's covered in blood and holding something in her other hand. I can't tell what it is, not at first. Then she turns and I see Peter's dead eyes staring at me. I scream. Cruz's hand clamps down over my face.

"You killed him!" Michele raises the gun right at me. I don't flinch. I freeze. She's gonna shoot me. I stare at the barrel of the gun.

"No!" Simon is up in a flash and between me and Michele. "I killed him!" Simon yells. Michele looks at him and then me. Her face is set.

"She killed my love. I can't kill hers. You're dead. But I can kill her best friend." Michele swings the gun around to aim at Patsy.

"No!" Simon isn't able to move fast enough. Michele turns only to meet Kai's hungry attack.

I scream again and again. The madness takes hold and I slam my own fists into my skull and yank at my hair. I scream trying to drown out the sick gurgling of Michele as she fights for her life and loses. She also loses all of her blood. The slurping sound is too much. I scream louder into Cruz's hand. I hope to silence her death with my own screams. It doesn't work. I fall into darkness and insanity. The ski trip is over.

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The Means to the End

His name is Max, Max Raider. He's tall lean, dark and scary. He's a new student who came to live with his aunt right after Halloween. His parents were killed in a car crash. He's not a child of privilege but is thrust into that lifestyle. He hates it and everyone in school. Before the ski trip, he was brooding and angry. Now he's everywhere I am.

I returned to school, quietly. Since our return I have avoided everyone. I only returned to school to escape home and Cruz's ever watchful eye. At school, I avoid everyone, including Patsy and Simon. I lock my bedroom door to keep Sebastian out. Only Richard can get near me. And he keeps his distance. I no longer go to my studio. I no longer have music in me. I have nothing.

I sit in my room and stare off into nothing. I relive all that has happened and cry. Cruz comes to my room, but I don't speak to him, look at him, or acknowledge him. He comes to my room and sits next to me. Sometimes he holds my hand. Other times, he sits next to me and we both stare out the window. He'll kiss my forehead and leave me. Meals are left on a tray in my living area. I missed a week of school before I decided to escape back into society.

At lunch I go to the bathroom. I know Patsy is looking for me, but I stay hidden in the stall. I see Simon in the hall and duck into a classroom. I wait until the bell rings and run to my next class, right past Simon. I ignore him. Each day it gets easier to stop existing. People forget I'm even around. I hide in my anonymity. I find that I like being no one. It's easier than dealing with the fact that people died because of me. I can't stop seeing Michele being drained as she held onto Peter's head. I don't know what they did with her. I don't want to know. When I sleep, I hear the gurgling noise of her body being drained and the crunch of her bones beneath Kai's bite. I try not to sleep.

Each day I become less and less. I hope to fade away into nothing soon enough. I eat. I don't taste, but I eat and still I'm fading away. My clothes are loose and unattractive. I won't go shopping for more. No one seems to notice. Patsy tries to talk to me but I walk past her as if I'm alone in the world. I hope she stops trying the way that Simon has. He watches me, but doesn't bother trying to talk to me.

It's the third day back at school when I realize that Max is following me. He doesn't even try to hide the fact. He's just there when I turn around. I notice his eyes are always on me. When I hide in the washroom, he's waiting right outside the door when I exit. I see him walking past my house from my bedroom window. I want to tell Cruz, but I haven't said a word to him since our return. Having a stalker seems to be the least of my problems.

After a week of Max's undue attention I spin around in the hall when he's right behind me to confront him. The sudden action takes him by surprise and I see it. His eyes. His vampire eyes. I gasp and run for the bathroom. I lock

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myself in the stall until the final bell rings. I'm prepared to stay the night if I have to. I hear the door open and wait. I'm afraid to move. I'm afraid it might be Max. It isn't.

"Shy?" It's Simon. I see his shoes under the stall. "Open the door." I don't. His hand is at the top of the stall door. One quick shove and the jamb breaks and the door swings open. Simon stands looking at me. I feel pathetic. I'm hiding on the toilet. "Will you talk to me?" I fix my eyes on his shoes.

"You can't go on like this. Dr. Cruz is beside himself with worry. We all are." I want to say that I'm fine, but only stare at his shoes. "Shy, it was a bad night. But we survived. You have to live with this. We all do. Do you think I'm thrilled with what happened to me? What I did? What I did for you?"

"Me?" I ask.

"Shy!" Simon looks like he wants to cry. "You've got to snap out of this!"

"Okay." I say, hoping that if I agree he'll just go away.

"Shy!" The frustration is rising in his voice. I hug my books tighter to my chest. I won't look up. I won't look at him and his vampire eyes. Vampire eyes. "Shyane! For God's sake! I'm in the girls restroom! "I slowly look up at him.

"Max is a vampire."

His eyes look away.

"Did you do that?" I sit waiting for an answer. "Did you?"

"It's not what you think," Simon mumbles.

He did do this! I jump up and run past him, almost running into Max. I back into the corner and look up at the two vampires in my class. I wonder if they're the only ones. I wonder if Patsy knows. I wonder if Cruz knows. I wonder if Cruz had anything to do with this. I wonder why I hadn't noticed sooner. I realize that it doesn't really matter. There's nothing I can do. It's done. Just like Michele's death, it's final.

"Shyane," Simon corners me and raises his hand up to caress my cheek. His hand is cold. I shudder and feel the tears falling. "Please, talk to me!"

"You killed that boy!" I cry. "Why?"

"Shy, it's not what you think!" he says again.

"What do I think?" I ask, shoving his hand away.

"That I just decided to turn Max. I didn't. It just happened. Shy, you have to believe me."

"Why is he following me?" I sob.

"You wouldn't let us near you. I needed someone to watch you."

"So you created one?" I sink down on the bathroom floor sobbing almost hysterically.

"No, Shy!" Simon runs his hands over his face and through his hair in frustration. "You have to listen to me. You have to talk to me. You have to come back to us!"

"You left me there. My soul is in the other world. I'm dead." I sob. "Just

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like you. Leave me alone." I cry harder and when I finally look up, I am alone. I sit there for a long time, crying.

"Are you okay little girl?" I look up to see the janitor looking at me in concern. It's dark out. Richard must be going crazy. I look up into the kind eyes of the old man and nod.

"I got an F," I sob. I've failed. I'm a failure as a human and a muse.

"Oh, child! It's not the end of the world." He hands me his handkerchief and helps me stand. "Go home. Come back tomorrow and talk to your teacher. I'm sure you can do extra work for more credit." I nod and hurry past him.

It's night out. I sniffle and look at Richard waiting by the car. He looks as if he's ready to pull his hair out. I run to him and hug him, crying. I would cry into his chest but I only come up to his stomach. His arms come around me awkwardly and hold me. It's the first comfort I've accepted since our return. We stand like that for a long time. I can't move. I'm so weak I begin to slide down to the ground. Richard picks me up and sets me in the back seat of the car and drives me home. At the house he carries me inside and up to my room, where he deposits me, books and all, on my bed. He shuts the door to give me privacy and I cry some more.

Somewhere in the night, Cruz comes to sit on my bed and rub my back. I don't pull away from his touch. I fall into a nightmarish slumber and wake to discover that half the day is gone. I go to the bathroom and climb back in bed to stare at my luggage. I never unpacked. All my cool ski wear is there packed and ready to go. I'm just not ready. I watch the sun past the window and slide into night. I climb from my bed and decide that I want to go to my studio. I want to sit on the cold wooden floor and watch the stars come out.

I walk down the steps and feel dizzy. I haven't eaten in a while and I feel my stomach clench. I think I'm dying. Dying slowly. I'm committing suicide. I know it and so does everyone else. I don't think I should have the right to live. Michele died. Peter is dead. The debt is paid and I am free, except for my intense guilt over surviving. I hear voices from the study. I sit down on the bottom step to keep from falling over. I sit and listen.

"Dr. Cruz, this is the chance of a lifetime. I can't believe you're going to decline." It's a man. I don't recognize the voice. "You can bring the child along. What an adventure! An educational adventure!"

"Shyane isn't well." Cruz's voice is calm and I hear something in it. Longing. I stand and step closer to the door. I peer in to see a little man sitting across from Cruz. He's older, portly and human.

"This dig is absolutely magnificent. A find like no other! The University is excited to get this opportunity! I'll book passage for two. You and the child. Think about it. You want to go. You know you do. How can you say you don't?"

"Oh, I want to go," Cruz laughs ruefully, "I just can't. Shyane needs me here."

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"You want to go." I hear her voice and see Ms. Allen sitting on the sofa, just out of my view. "Go! Nardo. Go! I can stay with Shyane."

"Meg, it's not that simple. You've seen her. Seen that she's become. She needs time and rest. I can't take her across the world for an archeological dig."

"But you want to go," she pushes.

"Of course I want to go. I can't." Cruz stands and walks over to the bar to pour himself a drink.

"I'll talk to him." Ms. Allen smiles at the portly man and he smiles back. I duck behind the door as the portly man leaves. I lean back in to listen.

"I can't go. Meg, she won't talk to me. I can't leave her. I'm afraid I've lost her. I'm not sure she'll ever come back. I just can't leave her."

"So take her along." I wonder what it would be like to hang out on an archaeological dig. "She might come around with a little distance from here. From whatever happened to cause her such mental trauma." Cruz downs his drink but says nothing. "Are you ever going to let me in? Tell me what really happened to her?"

"I can't." Cruz pours another drink.

"You can't do a lot," Ms. Allen sighs. "She's suffering and making you suffer. This house is dying as she dies. She's nothing but skin and bones and that damn Dr. Brooks was here today, threatening to request an investigation into her care. What business is it of hers? Your ex is quite a piece of work."

"She is." I hear the resolve in is voice.

"You do want to go?" Ms. Allen moves to hug him. Cruz lets her. It's the first time I've ever seen him accept affection from anyone. I'm stunned. "Go. Take her with you!"

"I want to go but I want to take you with me." Cruz leans down to kiss her. He sets his glass down and holds her. "I'd love to take you there. It would be wonderful. I just can't leave Shy."

"You don't have to," Ms. Allen soothes him. "We'll wait. She'll come around."

They begin kissing intently. I hurry out the back door and to my studio. They need privacy. I can give them that much. I stumble through the garden. I open the door and fall in. It's chilly out here. I huddle into a corner and wait for death to come visit. If I'm gone, then Cruz and Ms. Allen can go on the dig together. I'm just in the way. I never was good for anything. I was meant to die a long time ago. I lived and brought pain to my family's lives. Now I'm doing the same to Cruz's life. I want it over with.

"It's not what you think." I jump at the sound of his voice. Max is standing in the shadows watching me. "You cry a lot."

"I have a lot to cry about." I sniffle.

"It's not what you think." His voice is low and deep.

"What do I think?" I ask.

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"That he did this to me for his own desires. He didn't." Max walks over and sits down on the floor before me. "He did this because I needed it."

"Needed it?" I lean back against the wall. He starts making a strange clucking noise. I stare at him.

"I got a damn popcorn kernel stuck in my fang." He sticks his finger in his mouth to try and unwedge it. Then starts making the clucking noise again as he tries to suction it loose. "I need dental floss. Shit, these fangs can be so annoying. Try eating a hotdog with chili and onions." I stare at him.

"So, as I was saying, I decided to be Billy Badass and go to a very dark and shady bar to play pool. I got into a fight," Max sighs. "I figured one on one would be okay. Well, the little fucker had a knife. He stabbed me in my gut and twisted the damn thing for good measure. I about bled out in the alley when Simon comes along." I swallow hard as I listen to his story.

"Up until that second, I didn't want to live. I was doing all kinds of stupid shit to see if I could accidently off myself. Guess what? I didn't want to die." He laughs a little. "I was crying like a baby when Simon sat me up and asked me if I wanted his help. I told him I was afraid to die. Especially alone in an alley. He changed me and all he asked was that I not take a human life for food and to watch over you. He said he loved you and you hated him. He said you were in danger from yourself and other things. Things like us." Max leans back on his hands, basking in the moonlights. "So you hate him? Did you ever like him? He's crazy about you. And worried sick. You don't look so good. Are you always this little? Thin? Do you ever eat?" Max wasn't this talkative when he was alive.

"I just have some stuff to deal with," I mumble.

"Well, you sure are a selfish little shit."

"What?"

"You got all these people worried about you and all you do is whimper and cry. Are you always so.., well, such a crybaby?"

I want to hit Max! Me? A crybaby? I fought vampires and other things that were out to get me. I think I was pretty brave and … I find the fight leaving my body. I am a crybaby. I frown and look about the room. I haven't heard music since before Peter killed Simon. I stand up and walk over to the piano. I tap a couple of keys. The tone echoes through the studio.

"He can hear you." Max says as he stands up. "And the music."

"What?" I look up at Max.

"Simon, as a vampire, he's perfect. He can hear tones and music. He sits, listening to music and watching you stare out that window." Max nods towards the house. "He says he can dance now too, and see colors." I find this interesting. "All for you."

"All for me," I mumble. He killed for me too.

"So how long are you gonna do the martyr act? Until you fall over and

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they have to feed you through a tube in your nose?"

"Simon can turn me then," I mumble.

"No, he can't. You're a muse. They can't be turned. Nothing that is supernatural can be made more so. You're a muse. One of only a few and you guys are like uber powerful. You got him all tied up in knots and heart ache. Seems kind of selfish."

"You said that." I sit down on the bench.

"What are you going to do about it?" Max comes to sit next to me.

"I don't know." My stomach growls loudly.

"You don't eat much."

"No, I guess I don't." I hug my grumbling stomach.

"You should. It'd make a lot of people happy. Are you up for that? Making people happy? You know, not being selfish?" I suddenly dislike Max for being so straightforward. But he is right.

"I guess." I hug myself.

"It's cold out here." Max looks around the studio. "Not a blanket or anything." He starts to remove his jacket and stops.

"I got it." I look up to see Simon in the doorway holding a blanket. "Thanks." Max is up and moving out the door and into the night.

"You trained him well." I say.

"Don't be bitchy," Simon snaps as he wraps the blanket around my shoulders. I snuggle deep into it and try to stop shaking. It's not just the cold. It's being around Simon.

"I'm not bitchy. I'm nuts," I reply.

"Don't joke about that." He sits next to me on the bench. "You don't know how much I worry about you not coming back from the darkness."

"The darkness?"

"Where muses go when their love dies." Simon looks over at me. "I died."

"You did." So I did go crazy!

"I hoped you could learn to love me. I thought you loved me. Was I mistaken about that?" I hear the pain in his voice. I can't look at him.

"I loved you when you were alive." I take a deep breath. "I think I still love you. Even like this."

"I hope you do." He sounds so relieved as he leans over and kisses me. I tremble. The feelings are overwhelming. My head is spinning. "Are you ready to come back to us?"

"Come back?" I ask.

"From the darkness of your mind." I think about it. Is that where I've been? It that why I've been so cold and lost? I don't like being this way. I want to go back to being me. I had just found me and I liked her very much. And I missed her.

"I think so." I lean into his arms, relaxing for the first time in a long time. I

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let all the fear and confusion melt away. Simon holds me and I begin to feel again. I begin to feel like me. "I think I'm hungry."

"I think that's the best news I've heard in a long time." He pulls me into his lap and stands, carrying me, wrapped in the blanket back into the house. Richard is right outside the door. He's smiling at me. I think he heard that I said I was hungry. He hurries to open doors for us.

"She's hungry!" Richard announces as we enter the kitchen.

"Hungry!" Mrs. Ellis squeals in delight as she and Mrs. Potter set the table and rush about the kitchen.

Simon sets me in a chair and sits next to me. I'm still trembling. I can't seem to stop. Simon holds my hand in his and watches me eat slowly. Soup first. It stays down. I seem to have an audience. Richard is in the doorway leading to the hall. Cruz and Ms. Allen come in and sit across from me. I eat slowly. I feel heaviness on my leg and find Sebastian leaning his head on my leg. I eat and yawn. I'm tired. Unbelievable, after all the sleeping I did. I get a nice peanut butter sandwich and a piece of cake. I yawn again.

This time I'm carried to my room by Cruz. He sets me on my bed and sits with me. I lay on my back looking up at him. His hand traces my face from chin to forehead and back again. Cruz says nothing but gazes at me. He looks old. I wonder how old he really is. I yawn again. Cruz tucks my hair behind my ear. His hand rests on my shoulder.

"You look so like your mother," he whispers. "Simply beautiful."

"I'm sorry," I say.

"For looking like your mother?"

"For putting you through so much." I frown at him.

"You frightened me. I thought I had lost you."

"I'm too big to lose."

"You've lost a lot of yourself." I know he's not just talking about my weight. I frown at him and set my hand on my stomach. It doesn't hurt so much anymore.

"I want you to go to that dig and I want you to take Ms. Allen with you. She'd love it."

"And what am I going to do about you?"

"Well, it's almost my birthday and I thought you could let me go home."

"What?" his voice rises. "Home to them?"

You would think I had just asked to go back to Peter. Well, in Cruz's eyes my family was just as bad. And it was true. I had a lot of resentment. This was something I had been thinking of for a long time, since I had come to live with Cruz. I was angry with them for thinking so little of me. Mostly my mom. She had a fling with a stranger simply to get pregnant and give me away. She never planned on loving me. There were times I wanted to never see her again but then there were times I wanted to run to her. I always wanted to run to Daddy.

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Daddy was my hero. He knew from the instant of my existence that I was not his child and yet, he loved me. He and Grandpa practically raised me while Mommy was off having a career and an affair with Cruz. Mommy had no intention of letting Daddy or Grandpa see me, let alone love me. When I was younger I would find her watching us as we played catch or worked on the vehicles. It was as if she were on the outside of our family looking in. I always wondered how it felt to be on the outside looking in. At least, I found what I was looking for. I belong now.

"Just for a visit while you're on the dig." I try to sound calm so he'll calm down. "Just a couple of weeks. Simon will go with me."

"He will?" There's an edge to his voice.

"Pop, you know he's not ever going to leave my side now." I smile at him. "We have forever to be together. And forever starts now."

"Now?" Cruz stands up and begins to pace.

"I slept with him, Pop. That day. Before he died."

"Why?" Cruz asks. "You're not even fifteen."

"Almost."

"Almost isn't fifteen and even then, fifteen is too young."

"Human rules don't apply to me." I offer up this excuse. "I'm not human. I'm your daughter."

It's the first time I've said it to him. Cruz stops pacing to look at me. I think he's holding his breath. I sit up in the bed. Cruz sits down before me. He takes my hand in his and holds it. His hand swallows mine. We sit for a long time.

"I not going to age, am I?"

He shakes his head.

"Simon won't either?" he shakes his head again. "I love him, Pop. And he loves me."

"Love and sex are different," he says.

"I feel safe with him. I can sleep if he's with me. You say I need rest."

"This isn't a joke."

"I'm not joking, Pop." I take in a deep breath before I go on. "We can't get married. Not now, but we are together for now and forever. I'm his muse and he's my protector. We have a lot of living to do."

"So you're asking permission to sleep together in my house?"

"Well, yes. Or we can be like normal teens and hit the woods or the backseat of cars or…"

"Stop!" He shakes his head at me.

"I won't get pregnant," I remind him.

"Not with him. Not ever." There is regret in his voice.

"So I don't have to watch my children grow old and die?" He is upset by what I say.

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"And I will never have grandchildren."

"Well, if you and Ms. Allen get married..," I smile at my hinting.

"Shyane, I don't think that's going to happen."

"You like her. A lot. You want to tell her, the truth."

He frowns.

"That's not such a bad thing, is it?"

"No. But I can't bring her into this life of ours. It's too dangerous. And the thought of bringing another child into this world or any other..," he shakes his head. "No."

"The world could always use another muse," I offer. He smiles at me.

"One in this house is enough."

"I won't always be in your house," I say.

"I don't want to think about that just yet. It seems as if I only just found you. I can't imagine letting you go. Not just yet."

"I'm a dog?" I ask.

"What?"

"When you came to get me you were a dog. A big dog."

He smiles.

"I'm the big dog," he chuckles. "I'm many things. I told you, it's too hard to explain. My rage took over that day. It was hard to contain it all. Not just rage, but fear. I don't like to lose control. I haven't in a long time." His hand settles on my cheek, "I don't want to again. I want you safe, here with me. I know that's selfish…"

"I thought I was the selfish one?"

"Who said you were selfish?" There's that harsh tone again.

"Max. He said I was selfish in making you all worry."

"Max is young and an imbecile." Cruz looks angry.

"Pop, I know it's hard for you to understand, but I just want to live. And I haven't wanted to since that night when I went a little nutty."

"A little?" Cruz jumps up again. "You have been a walking zombie! And not the good zombie type. I know a few of them and their fun. You just stare and fade away. If you ever do that again…"

"I won't, Pop. Not as long as I have Simon next to me."

"Sex isn't the answer," Cruz says coldly.

"It's not just sex," I reply. "It's my comfort. I need him to go on. I'm afraid of what will happen if he's not with me. I'm afraid of being a not good type of zombie again. I don't want to go around eating brains and shit."

"They don't eat brains!" Cruz huffs at me. "They just eat shit."

"Ew!" I laugh, but he laughs with me. The tension eases.

"I don't approve of this."

"I didn't think you would. Nor did I expect you to. But it is my life. This is your house. But this is my life. The life I want to live with Simon."

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"You're too young to have a life of your own," he grumbles. "I don't like arguing with you."

"It's not as much fun when it's serious." I yawn again.

"It's never fun at all." He seems to calm down.

"Get in the shower and get to bed. Leave the door ajar so I can hear you if you have a nightmare." He kisses my head and leaves me.

I slowly climb from my bed and drag my tired ass to the bathroom. I'm as weak as a newborn and teeter towards the shower. I step in under the rush of steamy water and melt. I wash, shampoo and rinse. I dry off and slather lotion on me. I choose my ugliest nightshirt and climb into bed, leaving the door slightly ajar. I lay in the darkness watching the shadows move. I'm not frightened, only wary.

Sebastian comes to jump in my bed. I know that tomorrow I'll have to face Patsy. I was no help to her in her recovery. I was barely able to keep it together. I couldn't help her. Now, it might be too late. I rub his head and he moans. The door opens more and Simon is standing in the moonlight. He pushes Sebastian aside and climbs into my bed with me. I curl up next to him.

"No sex, not for a while. I just got reamed by your father for taking what you gave to me." He kisses me. I only nod. "Nardo says he wants you fully recovered before we do it. He says it can take a long time."

"You promised?" I ask.

"No, I just listened." He smiles. His fangs flash at me.

"So now, sex?" I ask, yawning.

"You're tired." He kisses me again and I return the sentiment almost instantly. "Not tonight. We have forever."

"Do we?" I ask.

"Shyane, I'm not going anywhere. Not without you."

"This is forever?" I ask, laying my head on his shoulder.

"Yep."

"What about your folks?" He sighs and is quiet for a long time.

"They know. They knew the instant they saw me. My brothers think it's cool. I don't think my parents believed at first, but now they do. My fangs are too hard to miss. They accept it. Sort of. Mom makes my steaks as rare as possible. I'm not sure how they'll feel about us sleeping together, but I don't think they'll have much choice. We can't go back now."

"Can't we?" I yawn again.

"Go to sleep. We have forever to talk about all of this." He lays down, watching me.

"And you?"

"I don't sleep. Not anymore. I watch you sleep. And I'll watch you dance and listen to you make music and sing for me. I have a lot of time to make up for. I have a lot of music to listen to and a lot of dancing to watch. I liked it well

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enough before, but I think I'll like it a lot more now that I can hear it."

"You liked it well enough?" I ask.

"You dancing about was nice. Real nice. I miss it. I miss it a lot." He looks me over with a smile. "I missed a lot of things." He moves his body closer to me. I mold mine to his. "Shy."

"Did we do it right?"

"Huh?"

"The sex? Did we do it right?" I ask playfully.

"I guess so. I enjoyed it." He smiles widely. "Didn't you?" the smile fades, slightly.

"I did." I move against him.

"Shy…"

"Maybe we should do it again to make sure we get it right?"

"You must calm down or we might end up doing something that will make your father want to rip my head off."

"Won't it be worth the risk?" I tease.

"You're just so damn little. I'm afraid of hurting you."

"You won't." I nudge closer to him."

"Cut it out," he growls.

"Why?" I tilt my head up to kiss him.

"Another time. We have forever to make love. For right now, just let me love you." He kisses me again. I smile and close my eyes. Sleep comes easily to me now. Sleep and comfort.

"You and me are gonna have words!" Patsy declares as she enters my bedroom at the crack of dawn.

"What words?" I ask, yawning and snuggling closer to Simon, who is still watching me sleep. He kisses me tenderly. I like waking up this way.

"A lot. You need to get up and get dressed and look super healthy and you need to go." She pushes her brother out the door. "Out the back and eat breakfast with the folks. We got stuff to do." Simon waves to me and I pout.

"What do we have to do?" I ask, dragging myself from the bed.

"Get you looking normal. Dr. Brooks is being a bitch! She's got a welfare officer coming to inspect the house and you."

"Me? For what?" I have my mouthful of toothpaste.

"Rinse. You look like a mad dog." Patsy is making my bed.

"She thinks you need to be placed in foster care. That Dr. Cruz is neglecting you. That you are fading mentally and physically. She's getting this investigation off with a bang! They're on their way now with the court order. Get dressed and look fabulous." I rinse and step before her.

"Patsy?" She stops fluffing my pillows and turns to face me. She hugs me and we both cry. "I'm back."

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"Good! Because I was about ready to go with you to the looney bin. I thought our folks could get a cut rate deal if we were roomies." We both laugh. "Shy, I missed you. "

"I missed you too." We sit on the newly made bed. "Why is Dr. Brooks being a bitch?"

"She's always been a bitch," Patsy says. I agree. "She's pissed because your dad is dating someone else. I like Ms. Allen. A lot better than Dr. Brooks."

"So do I." I get up and begin to dig through my clothes.

"You're too thin!" Patsy notes.

"This, coming from the scarecrow?" I decide layers is the best way to go. "We better hurry if they're on their way." I hold up two sweaters. Patsy points to the blue.

"Blue it is." I drag out t-shirts, jeans and a long sleeve undershirt. Layers.

The knock at the door draws us to the top of the stairs on the second floor. We're just out of sight. Two police officers and one social worker step in. No Dr. Brooks. Sebastian is shoving his nose in between us. We listen to the social worker. She's not a mean looking woman, but she doesn't look too pleased. She asks to speak to me. Cruz says, no. The policemen look annoyed. Richard steps in. Both officers unsnap their holsters. Richard looks pretty menacing. I look towards Patsy and she nods. Time to put on the act.

"Dad!" I race down the stairs laughing and giggling with Patsy and Sebastian. We make a lot of noise with our happy outbursts. "Dad! Can we go to the mall?" I skid to a halt, wrapping my arms around his waist. "Please! Can we? Me and Patsy? Can Richard drive us?"

"Shyane!" Cruz is shocked by my behavior.

"Oh, I'm sorry Dad." I look embarrassed and shyly duck my head. "Hello."

"Shyane, you and Patsy go get your breakfast and we'll talk about the mall later." He shoves me towards the kitchen. Me and Patsy go off giggling like goofy girls. Once in the kitchen we stop and look at each other. Was that too over the top? We lean against the door and eavesdrop.

"Does she look neglected?" Cruz asks the social worker. "You should know that I broke off my relationship with Dr. Brooks because she wanted me to send Shy away. She was very upset when I discovered that I had a daughter and that I wanted to devote time to Shyane."

"That is interesting." The social worker is making notes. "But I still think it would be best if I spoke to Shyane. Alone." I watch Cruz rub his face.

"Shyane?" he calls. I snatch a donut from the platter and rush out, bouncing about as if I were hyper.

"Yeah, Dad?" I walk up with my mouth full of donut.

"Not so much sugar. Eggs. Cereal."

"I know, Dad." I smile at him sweetly. "Can we go to the mall? They're

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having a monster sale."

"Shy, this is Mrs. Kelvin. She's with social services and she wants a word with you."

"What did I do wrong?" I ask frowning at him. "Dad? Why do they want to talk to me?" I move closer to him and look warily at the policemen. "Dad?" I make my voice small and weak.

"Shy," Cruz hugs me to him, "they just want to talk to you. Ask you a few questions."

"Why?" I hug him. "I don't want to. You said I didn't have to. Even Mom said it was over. She said I could stay here with you and be safe."

"Shyane, do you talk to your mother?" Mrs. Kelvin asks.

"Yes, I go home to visit when I can. Just for a couple days because of school, but I'm going home this summer for a couple of weeks while Dad is on a dig. Am I not supposed to go home?" I sound panicked. I set the half eaten donut on the coffee table.

"No, no, I just had no idea you were still in contact with your family." More notes are written.

"They're my family." I whimper. I pick up the donut.

"Let's go in the study," Cruz offers. "The officers can stay out here." I cling to Cruz as we enter the study. He looks down at me as if I'm off my rocker. I wink at him. "Sit down." We sit on the sofa next to each other. I'm holding my donut.

"Now Shyane, I just need to ask you a few questions about your life here." Mrs. Kelvin looks up at me smiling. A nice big fake smile. "How do you like living with your father?"

"It's okay." I say.

"Do you have enough privacy?"

"I have the whole third floor to myself," I say. "And my studio to practice dance. Can I go?"

"Just a few more questions. You've been having problems in school lately? The counselor says that you're acting out."

"I was mad." I sigh. "At Dad."

"Why?" Mrs. Kelvin asks.

"On the ski trip he caught me kissing this boy and he grounded me. He said I was too young. I got mad at him but…" I bite my lower lip.

"But?"

"He's dating this mean girl at school," I sigh. "He tried to make a fool of me and would have if Dad hadn't put a stop to it. I was just pissed because he made such a big deal about me being too young to date and he treated me like a baby."

"But you are a baby. My baby," Cruz grumbles.

"Oh, I know Dad." I lean my head on his shoulder.

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"Can I see your room?" Mrs. Kelvin asks. I shrug.

"Yeah, but I got company and we want to go to the mall." I stand and trudge up the stairs.

By the time we reach my room Mrs. Kelvin is huffing and puffing. She's out of shape. Patsy has done a great job of hiding all my insanity. She shoved my unpacked suitcases under the clothes hung in the closet and spread out my school books on the table in my living area. The usual teen stuff is spread around. Magazines and nail polish and hair ties. It's a mess. An organized mess. A well laid out organized mess. Mrs. Kelvin walks about, taking notes. I plop down on the bed and flip through a magazine. Sebastian comes in and jumps on the bed with me. I hug him.

"This is nice." Mrs. Kelvin is smiling at me again. Same fake smile. "Are you happy here? Don't you miss your family?"

"Yeah, I miss them, but I like living here. I like school." I frown and then pout. "I feel safe here."

"The man that kidnapped you was never caught…" Mrs. Kelvin is watching me for reaction.

"I don't want to talk about that." I toss the magazine down.

"Talking about it might help."

"I don't want to talk about it. No one here knows. I like it that way." I try to sound fearful. "I like it here because I know I'm safe. That man doesn't know where I am. I hope he never finds me. And if he does, I know that Cruz will protect me."

"Protect you how?" Mrs. Kelvin asks.

"Hire more bodyguards," I reply quickly. "Take me away, or find him and put him in jail." I know I sound paranoid. Peter's dead. I don't care. The memories are fresh.

"Shyane, do you think you're being mistreated?"

"Sure. He embarrassed me by telling Simon in front of everyone that I was a baby. Can you do something about that?" She laughs at me.

"No, I think he was right."

"You would," I pout.

"Are we going or what?" Patsy is coming up the stairs complaining all the way. "The day is getting old!"

"Can I go now?" I groan.

"Yes, I think you can." Mrs. Kelvin smiles. A real smile.

"Now we gotta talk your Dad into it!" Patsy hurries back down the stairs. We follow.

"Well?" Cruz is waiting for us at the bottom.

"It was nice meeting you, Shyane." Mrs. Kelvin is basically dismissing me. I head for the kitchen. Patsy and I lean into the swinging door to listen.

"I don't think we need any further action taken," Mrs. Kelvin is saying. I

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sigh in relief. We move away from the door and Patsy and I jump for joy. We high five and giggle until Cruz steps in the room.

"You two do a good goofy giggly girl act," he accuses. I hug him. He hugs me and Patsy. "I think a trip to the mall is in order." We cheer and laugh. I sit down to breakfast with Cruz and Patsy. Simon comes in the kitchen door and we all enjoy breakfast. I do love my life. As crazy as it is, it's mine.

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Fini?

I'm dreaming. Or I think I am. I don't know what I'm dreaming. I just know that I'm happy lying in my bed, hugging my pillow. The bed moves and I feel someone climb in with me. I don't know who and I'm too happy in my dream to look. A soft, cold kiss lights on my shoulder and I know it's Simon. I smile. He moves me so that I'm on my back.

Simon kisses my face, trying to wake me. He won't do anything to me unless he's sure I'm fully awake. I open my eyes and reach up to touch his cold face. He kisses my hand, then leans down to tenderly kiss my lips. I kiss him back. He moves to me and I sigh deeply as he makes gentle love to me. He's always gentle.

I watch the sun begin to rise. The sky is almost purple. It's my favorite time of the morning. I watch the sun rising as Simon rises over me. I grunt as he thrusts a bit hard to get my attention. I look at him and bite my lower lip. He has me on the edge. I'm panting. Simon doesn't pant anymore. He doesn't breathe. Not anymore. Again he gets my attention. I throw my head back and wrap my legs around him. The sun is almost there. So am I. The warm light pours in the window and over us. I lose myself to him.

We rest watching the sky. Simon lays with his head on my breasts. He's light, weighing nothing. I figured he would be heavy, being dead and all, but he's not. His touch is icy cold, but soft and gentle like a butterfly lighting on my skin. I stare dreamily out the window at the sun and the colorful sky.

"Time to get ready." Simon climbs from me and my bed.

"I don't want to," I pout at him.

"Simon says." Simon tugs at my hand. I moan as I climb from bed. He uses that line on me all the time. And it works because I know that arguing with him is pointless.

"I don't think I want to do this."

"You really don't have a choice at this point." He's right.

Simon dresses quickly. I drag myself to the shower. I smell breakfast. My stomach growls. I'm hungry. Tired and hungry. I peer into my room and find it empty. I hurry to my closet and dress in jeans and a t-shirt. My stomach churns again. I know it's not all hunger. I'm stressed about where we're heading. Not our relationship. Our physical bodies. I drag my suitcase out.

I pack my things, trying to remain calm. School let out for summer. Cruz is going on the archeological dig in eastern Asia with Ms. Allen. I'm going to my parents for several weeks. I finish packing. Simon carries my bags down to the car. He's going with me. There's no way to talk him out of it. He's already packed. Max is going as well. He'll be in the woods watching over us. The three stooges have gone back to a life of black marketeering, drinking, toking up and gambling. Simon has taken over guarding me. He says it is his job now. Now that I am his.

Cruz has talked to Mom and Daddy. The arrangements are all made.

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We'll arrive at my home on my birthday. It's strange not to be on the mountain with Grandpa and Millie. My entire family will be waiting for me. Mommy has called twice to confirm that I'm coming home. Cruz has reassured her that it's over and I'm safe. We all climb into the car and wave goodbye to Patsy and Sebastian. They're staying to guard our home.

I sit in the car curled up in between Cruz and Simon. I'm unsure what I should be feeling. I seek comfort from them, leaning my head on Cruz's shoulder and then Simon's. I feel like a bobblehead. At least I'm not car sick, although Richard has plastic bags at the ready. It's a long drive. I have plenty of time to think and worry.

We pull up at my home just after noon. Mommy is running to me, crying as I climb out of the car. Daddy is there hugging me. I look up and see Grandpa limping towards me. I run to him. I hug him and we smile at each other. No one else has arrived. We have time to talk. Cruz introduces Ms. Allen as his fiancé. Mommy smiles at that and shakes Ms. Allen's hand. I got to get used to calling Ms. Allen Meg.

We sit on the porch drinking tea and talking. Both Daddy and Grandpa give Simon the evil eye. He ignores them and stands behind me. They know what he is. Their eyes go to him every time he moves. I know for a fact that when they excused themselves to go to the bathroom, together, they have loaded the rifles and have them placed strategically throughout the house. Countrymen! They nearly raise the roof when they discover that Simon and I plan on sleeping in the same room. Until they learn that Simon doesn't sleep. He is there to guard me. Mommy only rolls her eyes.

Within a couple of hours, my brothers arrive. Jerome is first and I ask him to listen to my confession. Bradley and Marianne come in with the boys and we wrestle and laugh. Craig and David basically have grown into men. I'm tossed around the livingroom. Charlotte and Joe arrive with Timothy and Marcus. Again, I'm tossed around. Simon only laughs. The boys all look at him warily.

Mommy and Daddy are so happy that I'm home and have invited a lot of people. We're having a picnic in the yard. Neighbors come and go. Old friends and teachers stop by. Millie arrives with her boyfriend. A nice boy named Mike. He's quiet, zit-faced with braces and glasses and still quite handsome. And he's madly in love with Millie. I avoid him like the plague just the same.

We run around talking to everyone. Millie tells me all about school. She catches me up on all the gossip. I get the full scoop. Who's dating who. Who's sleeping with who. Who's hating who. We end up laughing at a lot of silly things. When we try to stop laughing and end up in giggling fits. I had thought about bringing Patsy along, but I knew I would need time with Millie to fix all the bad feelings. She's calmed down a lot. I plan on spending a lot of time with her.

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"Here!" Millie hands me a small wrapped gift. I open it and stare at the book. It's a leather bond journal. I turn it over in my hands. I look back at her, questioningly.

"Thanks?" I smile at her, unsure of what to make of the gift.

"I thought maybe you could write down all you adventures. You know, like Granny. Maybe you'll be a writer someday. Like Granny."

"A writer?" I smile at the thought.

"Well someone has to carry on the family tradition. I can't put two words together to tell a story. Granny says that one of us has to. She says it's our legacy. Great Grandpa's getting old. When he dies all his stories are lost. The boys could care less, so it has to be you."

"Me?" I'm still stunned.

"Well, you are part of this family." I am. "You never stopped being our Shy." Millie nudges me. I like the concept. I just have to come to terms with it. I set the book aside.

We sit laughing at something silly and can't stop giggling when Phil comes around the corner with a huge smile on his face. I look at Millie and she simply rolls her eyes at me. There's no anger or jealousy. I prepare myself for the onslaught of Phil's attention and then feel the strong presence of Simon by my side. He hugs me to him and leans down to kiss the top of my head. I lean against him and wait.

"Shyane! You're home!" Phil moves to hug me. Simon steps forward and extends his hand in greeting. "Oh, uh, you must be..?"

"Phil, this is Simon, my boyfriend," I say with a smile.

"What happened to Cord?" I feel Simon tense up and remember the little fib I told Phil the last time I was home.

"Old news." Simon shakes Phil's hand firmly. I notice Phil wince.

"So you're new news?" Phil is trying to be smooth and sinking fast.

"No," Simon releases the hand, chuckling. "I'm permanent."

As the two size each other up, I notice Daddy leaving the party and heading for the barn. His escape. I wiggle out of Simon's hold and run for the car. I snatch up my glove and show it to Simon before I run to the barn. Just as I suspected, Daddy has found some obscure task that needs his immediate attention, even though it's probably been sitting there for months. I walk into his barn and up to the door that is open. The room where he keeps all his tools. I see his glove hanging on a nail by the door.

"Daddy?" I call. He turns and smiles at me.

"Shyane, why aren't you at your party?" He wipes his hands on a towel.

"Daddy, do you have time for me?"

I hold up my glove. Daddy smiles and I see his eyes glisten. He nods and lifts his glove off the nail. We walk hand in hand to the back of the barn where the open field is empty and quiet. I squeeze his hand lightly before I let go and

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walk to one end of the clearing. He goes to the opposite end. I turn and wait for him to get ready, then I toss the ball. The sound of a ball hitting a leather glove is glorious to me. I smile and catch it as he tosses it back. Grandpa comes to sit on the stump by the back of the barn. Jerome comes to keep him company and to send any curious party guests away. They know this is my time with my Daddy.

Home. This is home. I'll come back to visit, but I'll never live here again. I've outgrown it. I've spread my wings and soared away. Cruz and Daddy talked of me coming to stay every summer with them. Mommy is excited that I'll be home for a bit. She's planning on us doing some canning and baking. Daddy looks forward to eating.

I miss the ball and it rolls into the brush. I jog to retrieve it. I'm not worried. There aren't any glowing red eyes lurking in the darkness, waiting for me. Only Max is around. I wonder if Victor is out there. I know he's been here. He's having a hard time letting go of the plans he made for me and him. Even though he altered everafter for me and him by making Simon an Immortal, he still watches over me. He doesn't approach me or visit but I feel his presence now and again. It's comforting.

I toss the ball to Daddy and we talk of who we think will make the playoffs and what teams benefited from the trades. We make playful bets on the pennant. I overshoot and Daddy has to dig in the brush for the ball. I watch him wince as he stands. Daddy is getting older. He tosses it back to me and I savor the feeling of the ball slamming into my glove.

The party is going on without me. I don't care, even though it is my party. Simon comes to stand with Jerome and Grandpa. I smile at him. Yes, he is permanent. I share more than love with him. I share a life. Simon won't grow old and die before I do. He and I will live for a very long time together. I know Cruz is not happy with how this came about, but he is accepting. At least he knows I'm safe. And I am safe. Peter is gone and there is no claim on me or my family from the Immortals of the otherworld. We are safe. All of us.

I toss the ball back and feel a breeze move past me. I wonder what Immortal is nearby, watching. I can sense them. Feel them and in some cases, even smell them. Simon makes a face and walks into the woods. Just to be safe. I look forward to the summer when I can hike with Grandpa, wrestle with my nephews, discuss religion with my brother, Father Jerome, help Mommy in the kitchen and play catch with my Daddy. Once Cruz returns from the dig, I'll go home with him.

I know now that all the anger I felt towards my family is gone. I knew from the day I was born that I had been conceived to repay a debt. I grew up knowing and agreeing with that. I willingly went with Peter to fulfill my obligation. I discovered I was more than a mere mortal. I am a Muse. I inspire. Peter knew this and tried to possess me, body and soul because of it. Peter is

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dead and now I'm home playing catch with my Daddy. This is what is important to me. Baseball with my Daddy. At least for now. I've decided that since I have to live for close to forever, I can take time to enjoy all the little things that bring me joy.

My life has become simple. My name is Shyane. I am of the Cheyenne people, and I am a tribute from my family to an Immortal who gave favor to my ancestor. That debt has been paid and I am now free. Free to live, to love, to plan a future and to have that future. I catch the ball and sigh deeply as Simon returns from his patrol. He nods to me and I know all is well. I look at the ball and sigh. I toss it back and Daddy catches it. The sun is high in the sky. I look up at it and decide that catch with Daddy is more fun than dealing with people. I begin to sing, 'take me out to the ball game' as I catch the ball and throw it back. I plan on doing this for quite a while.

The party is over. The house is quiet. Simon is sitting by the window looking out into the night. I hear the creaking of the floor below. Grandpa or Daddy are walking about. Most likely with a rifle in their hands. Guarding me. I sigh. Most of the things that would come for me would swat away a bullet as if it were nothing but a fly. It's just a comfort to them.

I climb from the bed and move into Simon's arms. He hugs me and kisses my head. I kiss his neck. He smiles down at me and kisses my face, then my lips. I press myself against him. He shakes his head and pushes me back towards the bed.

I'm wearing a simple, short, sheer, lavender teddy that he likes. I spin away from him, dancing about. I'm tempting him. At least, I hope I am. He shakes his head, folds his arms across his chest and enjoys the show as I try to convince him that we can make love, quietly. He smiles at me and shakes his head. He nods to the bed and turns back to look out the window.

He really does have some will power. I pulled out all the stops short of stripping naked and laying on the bed in the most inviting and provocative position. He ignores me. I head for the bed, but detour to my desk. I don't feel like sleeping and Simon won't have relations with me in my parent's home. It's going to be a long summer. A long, sexually frustrating summer.

Cruz and Ms. Allen have left. I think about writing Patsy a letter. I pick up the journal that Millie gave me and look it over. It's a nice book. I think about what she said to me about family and tradition. The old ways. I know they are getting lost in the new generation. We don't pay attention to what the old ones tell us and for this one fact our defenses are down. How will the next generation know how to fight the Immortals that are still out there, waiting to give favor in return for children? Their children. Or the vampires that lurk in the darkness, hoarding M & M's and toking up at the full moon. Or other things that are too frightening to describe or understand.

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I think of my Grandmother, Lilly, and her fight to save her child, her grandchildren and even me. It was her fight. She started it and I finished it. At least for our family. But there are others. Others like Michele who knew nothing but servitude for the Immortal she was taken by. Michele. I think of her less and less now. But I still have nightmares about her. And Peter.

I open the book and pick up a pen. I'm a muse. I inspire. Music and dance are my charms. Many have been tempted by me. I wonder about words. How would my words on paper effect people? Would they inspire? Would they help anyone? Anyone like Michele. Or me.

I hold my pen at the ready and wonder where to start. I think of all that I've been through. I think of all that I've become. I look up at Simon, and think of how much he's been through. What if this is what I'm supposed to do? What if I am supposed to tell the world about the other world and things that go 'bump' in the night. Things we don't believe in because we're too busy texting, surfing the net or playing video games. Things that are real and out there.

After a few minutes I decide that the beginning is always a good place to start. I begin to write.

My name is Shyane Red Elk Cruz. I am named for my people, the proud Cheyenne nation. I am the granddaughter of William Red Elk, great granddaughter of Joseph Red Elk and great-great granddaughter of Bo Red Elk. I am the Red Elk tribute. Hopefully the last in my family. I am of the Cheyenne people. And this is my story…

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